Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > With the Words You Say
“So, Pen,” Margot continued the conversation. “Are you planning on losing weight before the wedding?”
Pen raised an eyebrow involuntarily and her jaw dropped slightly. “Umm…I wasn’t planning on it. Why should I?” She looked down to examine her body.
“Well, you know; most brides try to lose their baby fat before getting measured for the dress, so they can look more mature, y’know.” Margot tossed her long blonde hair and Pen ran her hand through her short red bob.
“Well…I don’t really have any baby fat left to lose,” she said, placing her hand absent-mindedly on her stomach.
Margot just grinned wickedly and cocked her eyebrow at the other girl. Bob was about to say something in Pen’s defense, but she stopped him. She just stared down Margot with a passive, coolly calm smile.
“Hey, Demetri,” Bob said after an awkward silence. Maggie and Granny had begun to clear away the dishes while the younger kids sat around and talked. “Do you still have your acoustic Fender?”
“Nah, man,” Demetri told his cousin, laughing. “I scrapped that shit and got a new Gibson Les Paul.”
“No way!” Bob’s eyes grew wide. “I have to see it!” Simultaneously, both men got up and raced to the stairs, rough-housing each other along the way. And Pen was left alone at the table with Margot.
“Come on, Pen,” Margot said coolly. “Let’s go sit in the living room; we can talk. Just us girls,” she added, winking. Pen had a very bad feeling about this. Even so, she followed Margot out into the living room and sat on the opposite end of the couch that Margot took. The blonde moved closer to the redhead, smirking.
“So…Margot…” Pen said, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa.
“Oh, don’t mind Maggie,” Margot waved her hand as if to shoo the prying question that had been asked at the table away. “She’s just nosy. And she’s got her head in the clouds with the whole abstinence thing. As a matter of fact, I know firsthand that Bob is definitely not a virgin.” At this, Margot smirked wickedly, examining Pen for her reaction.
Her words were like a stab in the gut to Pen. She hadn’t really figured that Bob had been a virgin when he met her, but…Margot? Had he really had sex with Margot? The poisonous little bitch that seemed to have it in for Pen? She resisted the urge to bite her lip, to show any indication whatsoever of what she was really feeling. Instead, she feigned pleasant shock.
“Oh, really? So do I! In fact, I’ve known every night for about two years, now,” she told the blonde. She glanced innocently at Margot to gauge her reaction, and was pleased with what she saw. Margot was gritting her teeth and glaring slightly at Pen, who bit back the urge to grin with triumph. Pen: 1, Margot: 0. Pen silently reminded herself to ask Bob later about what Margot had said.
Later that night, after sitting around for hours talking and discussing plans for the wedding and the future, Pen and Bob decided to go to bed; it had been a long day traveling, after all, and they were exhausted.
Maggie showed them to their room. “I’m sorry you two have to share, but we’re gonna have so many people here, we just don’t have enough room to have you two separate.”
Pen almost opened her mouth to tell her that they shared a room (and more) at home, but Bob squeezed her hand tightly, silencing her.
“It’s fine, Aunt Mag. We’ll make do,” he told his aunt.
“You are such a momma’s boy,” Pen said with a smirk once Maggie had left.
“Am not!” Bob laughed.
“Are too!” At that, Pen stuck her tongue out childishly, making Bob grab her by the waist and pull her close. She giggled and tried to pull away, only to be pulled into a kiss by her fiancé. With difficulty, she pulled away. “I have to shower,” she told him, looking around.
“Down the hall, second door on the left. The one with a toilet and a shower inside,” he smirked.
“Smart ass.” Pen rolled her eyes and gathered up her pajamas and toiletries. She ventured out into the empty hallway and made it to the bathroom without getting lost. She quickly showered and brushed her teeth, combing her short hair in a matter of seconds and nodding, satisfied, at her reflection.
While on her way back to the guest room she was sharing with Bob, she bumped into someone in the dark. Whoever it was had been caught off-guard and had fallen to the floor. “Oh, I’m sorry!” she whisper-yelled, feeling around blindly for whoever it was that she had collided with.
A deep chuckle echoed in the empty hallway. “It’s fine,” Demetri said, finding Pen and pulling her a little closer than she was totally comfortable with. “You okay?”
“Umm…Yeah. Fine. Good night,” she stammered, trying to inch her way around him. Demetri still had Pen’s hand in his, and he held fast when she tried to get away.
“Where are you off to so quick?” he asked innocently, cocking his head to the side.
“Umm…Sleep,” she told him, still trying to discreetly pull away.
He laughed once more and let go. “Right. Sleep. Good night, Penny.” Pen stayed still until she heard his footsteps fade and then finally disappear behind the sound of a door closing. She padded back to the room she was sharing with Bob and closed the door behind her, turning to face her boyfriend.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, moving closer. “You look like you just got mugged, or something.”
She cocked her head to the side, giving him a quizzical look. “I’m fine,” she lied. He shrugged.
They climbed into bed together and turned out the lights. Just as they were settling down to sleep, Pen broke the silence.
“Hey, Bob,” she nudged him.
“Hmm?”
“Margot told me something today, while you were looking at Demetri’s guitar.”
“And what’s that?”
“She said that you and her had sex.”
It hung in the air for a moment between them. Neither spoke, because neither could deny its truth.
“She told you that?” Bob said finally, after sighing heavily.
“Yes.”
He sighed again, rubbing his forehead as though he had a migraine.
“Was she telling the truth?”
“…Yes.”
“Oh.” Pen didn’t know what else to say.
“I didn’t love her, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Bob said finally.
“Then why did you fuck her?” Pen almost snapped. She caught herself in time to soften her tone slightly.
Bob cringed at the word. “She told me she loved me.”
“I tell you I love you. Is that the only reason you fuck me?”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you know it’s not true.”
“How can I?”
“Why are you so mad about this?”
“Are you serious?” Pen sat up and faced Bob. “Did you not see the way she was looking at me the whole dinner? Did you not see how she was hanging on you and on everything you said? She fucking told me that she fucked you, Bob; you don’t say that to someone for no reason or in casual conversation.”
“You think she’s trying to--”
“It doesn’t take Sherlock-fucking-Holmes to put the fucking clues together, Robert.” Pen was fuming now, and Bob knew she was really mad; she only ever used his full name when she was ready to rip him a new one.
“Okay, fine. Maybe she still has a crush on me. But I moved hundreds of miles away for a reason. Not to mention, it’s you that I proposed to, not her. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and whatever I did with Margot in the past is just that: the past. I love you, I’ll always love you, and pretty soon I’ll be making a vow to you that I would never, in a million years, make to Margot.”
Pen’s heart melted at Bob’s perfect words; he always knew what to say and exactly how to say it. It quickly hardened again, less so this time. “Even so. I’m a little annoyed that you didn’t tell me.”
“And how many guys have you slept with?” Bob asked coldly, finally getting pushed too far. Pen froze, gritting her teeth.
“You know--”
“I know what? That you used to fuck guys and more for drugs?”
She hung her head in shame, humbled. “You know that I don’t know how many I’ve slept with, Bob,” she told him quietly. “And you know I’m not proud of it.” She sniffed slightly, holding back a sob that was building a knot in her throat. “And you know--” But Bob never found out what he knew, because Pen couldn’t continue. She had turned away from him and was crying silently, biting her lower lip in an attempt to stem the flow of tears.
Bob’s reserve fell immediately. “Penelope,” he said quietly, slipping his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like to talk about it. I’m an asshole for bringing it up.”
She just sniffed again, nodding. “It--It’s not--the--the--same--”
“I know,” he said. “It’s not the same at all. It was a dick thing of me to say. Forgive me?” He kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly as they lay together on the bed.
Pen sniffed once more and nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I’m sorry, too.”
If you spend the night crying in the shower, and no one's around to care, do you really even matter?
Pen raised an eyebrow involuntarily and her jaw dropped slightly. “Umm…I wasn’t planning on it. Why should I?” She looked down to examine her body.
“Well, you know; most brides try to lose their baby fat before getting measured for the dress, so they can look more mature, y’know.” Margot tossed her long blonde hair and Pen ran her hand through her short red bob.
“Well…I don’t really have any baby fat left to lose,” she said, placing her hand absent-mindedly on her stomach.
Margot just grinned wickedly and cocked her eyebrow at the other girl. Bob was about to say something in Pen’s defense, but she stopped him. She just stared down Margot with a passive, coolly calm smile.
“Hey, Demetri,” Bob said after an awkward silence. Maggie and Granny had begun to clear away the dishes while the younger kids sat around and talked. “Do you still have your acoustic Fender?”
“Nah, man,” Demetri told his cousin, laughing. “I scrapped that shit and got a new Gibson Les Paul.”
“No way!” Bob’s eyes grew wide. “I have to see it!” Simultaneously, both men got up and raced to the stairs, rough-housing each other along the way. And Pen was left alone at the table with Margot.
“Come on, Pen,” Margot said coolly. “Let’s go sit in the living room; we can talk. Just us girls,” she added, winking. Pen had a very bad feeling about this. Even so, she followed Margot out into the living room and sat on the opposite end of the couch that Margot took. The blonde moved closer to the redhead, smirking.
“So…Margot…” Pen said, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa.
“Oh, don’t mind Maggie,” Margot waved her hand as if to shoo the prying question that had been asked at the table away. “She’s just nosy. And she’s got her head in the clouds with the whole abstinence thing. As a matter of fact, I know firsthand that Bob is definitely not a virgin.” At this, Margot smirked wickedly, examining Pen for her reaction.
Her words were like a stab in the gut to Pen. She hadn’t really figured that Bob had been a virgin when he met her, but…Margot? Had he really had sex with Margot? The poisonous little bitch that seemed to have it in for Pen? She resisted the urge to bite her lip, to show any indication whatsoever of what she was really feeling. Instead, she feigned pleasant shock.
“Oh, really? So do I! In fact, I’ve known every night for about two years, now,” she told the blonde. She glanced innocently at Margot to gauge her reaction, and was pleased with what she saw. Margot was gritting her teeth and glaring slightly at Pen, who bit back the urge to grin with triumph. Pen: 1, Margot: 0. Pen silently reminded herself to ask Bob later about what Margot had said.
Later that night, after sitting around for hours talking and discussing plans for the wedding and the future, Pen and Bob decided to go to bed; it had been a long day traveling, after all, and they were exhausted.
Maggie showed them to their room. “I’m sorry you two have to share, but we’re gonna have so many people here, we just don’t have enough room to have you two separate.”
Pen almost opened her mouth to tell her that they shared a room (and more) at home, but Bob squeezed her hand tightly, silencing her.
“It’s fine, Aunt Mag. We’ll make do,” he told his aunt.
“You are such a momma’s boy,” Pen said with a smirk once Maggie had left.
“Am not!” Bob laughed.
“Are too!” At that, Pen stuck her tongue out childishly, making Bob grab her by the waist and pull her close. She giggled and tried to pull away, only to be pulled into a kiss by her fiancé. With difficulty, she pulled away. “I have to shower,” she told him, looking around.
“Down the hall, second door on the left. The one with a toilet and a shower inside,” he smirked.
“Smart ass.” Pen rolled her eyes and gathered up her pajamas and toiletries. She ventured out into the empty hallway and made it to the bathroom without getting lost. She quickly showered and brushed her teeth, combing her short hair in a matter of seconds and nodding, satisfied, at her reflection.
While on her way back to the guest room she was sharing with Bob, she bumped into someone in the dark. Whoever it was had been caught off-guard and had fallen to the floor. “Oh, I’m sorry!” she whisper-yelled, feeling around blindly for whoever it was that she had collided with.
A deep chuckle echoed in the empty hallway. “It’s fine,” Demetri said, finding Pen and pulling her a little closer than she was totally comfortable with. “You okay?”
“Umm…Yeah. Fine. Good night,” she stammered, trying to inch her way around him. Demetri still had Pen’s hand in his, and he held fast when she tried to get away.
“Where are you off to so quick?” he asked innocently, cocking his head to the side.
“Umm…Sleep,” she told him, still trying to discreetly pull away.
He laughed once more and let go. “Right. Sleep. Good night, Penny.” Pen stayed still until she heard his footsteps fade and then finally disappear behind the sound of a door closing. She padded back to the room she was sharing with Bob and closed the door behind her, turning to face her boyfriend.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, moving closer. “You look like you just got mugged, or something.”
She cocked her head to the side, giving him a quizzical look. “I’m fine,” she lied. He shrugged.
They climbed into bed together and turned out the lights. Just as they were settling down to sleep, Pen broke the silence.
“Hey, Bob,” she nudged him.
“Hmm?”
“Margot told me something today, while you were looking at Demetri’s guitar.”
“And what’s that?”
“She said that you and her had sex.”
It hung in the air for a moment between them. Neither spoke, because neither could deny its truth.
“She told you that?” Bob said finally, after sighing heavily.
“Yes.”
He sighed again, rubbing his forehead as though he had a migraine.
“Was she telling the truth?”
“…Yes.”
“Oh.” Pen didn’t know what else to say.
“I didn’t love her, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Bob said finally.
“Then why did you fuck her?” Pen almost snapped. She caught herself in time to soften her tone slightly.
Bob cringed at the word. “She told me she loved me.”
“I tell you I love you. Is that the only reason you fuck me?”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you know it’s not true.”
“How can I?”
“Why are you so mad about this?”
“Are you serious?” Pen sat up and faced Bob. “Did you not see the way she was looking at me the whole dinner? Did you not see how she was hanging on you and on everything you said? She fucking told me that she fucked you, Bob; you don’t say that to someone for no reason or in casual conversation.”
“You think she’s trying to--”
“It doesn’t take Sherlock-fucking-Holmes to put the fucking clues together, Robert.” Pen was fuming now, and Bob knew she was really mad; she only ever used his full name when she was ready to rip him a new one.
“Okay, fine. Maybe she still has a crush on me. But I moved hundreds of miles away for a reason. Not to mention, it’s you that I proposed to, not her. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and whatever I did with Margot in the past is just that: the past. I love you, I’ll always love you, and pretty soon I’ll be making a vow to you that I would never, in a million years, make to Margot.”
Pen’s heart melted at Bob’s perfect words; he always knew what to say and exactly how to say it. It quickly hardened again, less so this time. “Even so. I’m a little annoyed that you didn’t tell me.”
“And how many guys have you slept with?” Bob asked coldly, finally getting pushed too far. Pen froze, gritting her teeth.
“You know--”
“I know what? That you used to fuck guys and more for drugs?”
She hung her head in shame, humbled. “You know that I don’t know how many I’ve slept with, Bob,” she told him quietly. “And you know I’m not proud of it.” She sniffed slightly, holding back a sob that was building a knot in her throat. “And you know--” But Bob never found out what he knew, because Pen couldn’t continue. She had turned away from him and was crying silently, biting her lower lip in an attempt to stem the flow of tears.
Bob’s reserve fell immediately. “Penelope,” he said quietly, slipping his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like to talk about it. I’m an asshole for bringing it up.”
She just sniffed again, nodding. “It--It’s not--the--the--same--”
“I know,” he said. “It’s not the same at all. It was a dick thing of me to say. Forgive me?” He kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly as they lay together on the bed.
Pen sniffed once more and nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I’m sorry, too.”
If you spend the night crying in the shower, and no one's around to care, do you really even matter?
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