FicWad

Got a request to do a chapter in Gerard's POV, so her it is. I think I will be doing more on Gerard's pov later on in the story. I wanted you all to get a feel of how his scattered and paranoid mind worked. So this chapter sort of puts his mind into action so you can see. ALSO my last story almost did not make it to five. So if I am losing you guys let me know! review and rate!






Walking outside seemed to help a bit. Letting the fresh air hit my face. I can't remember the last time I was ever this baffled by a human being. I know something is up, I just know it. Why was she so willing all the time, it made me sick. So many parts of me wanted to just gut her like a fish, but then part of me did not. I wanted to know her game. What was she doing? I know there is something wrong with this chick, but I want to keep her around just long enough to figure it out. I can't help it, I have to play a good game when I see one.


It seems like the only good, solid, unchanging thing about this life of mine is that I can light up a cigarette, and my stress seems to just go with the smoke. Some people would say it gives you time to think, when for me, it is over rated. Why ruin such spontaneous acts with thinking. It seems thinking always gets you caught. Keeping yourself on your toes helps keep others on their toes. Now I am getting caught, because I am thinking. Alyn is catching me. I know that she has something planned. I know it.



She must know what gets to me, what makes me tick. Just watching her bleed makes my blood boil, it makes me want. Red is such a pretty color on her, and What kind of man would I be if I did not let a woman look her best. It sort of reminds me of Samantha Maze, She was feisty, red was perfect for her. I made her look gorgeous. Although she was quite the shallow selfish bitch, I made her look pretty, which was more than that personality did for her. I need to make sure Alyn does not forget her place. I can't. When I let her sit there all alone, who knows what she is planning for her escape. I can't let her leave.



I walked inside so I could see her. I looked through the window in the door. She was just laying there in her bed. Her hands were rubbing her stomach. She made me sick. I hate how she reads a so much, but know that I am here, she is here. She can't handle it. Seeing the stitches I put in her make me smile. Stitching her up gave me that amazing feeling, I need. It is sort of funny how stitching requires metal to pierce the skin once again to seal it shut. Just looking at her, her everything. I can't look at her without imagining her naked. Although blood was a good sight, her pretty little body is giving it a run for it's money.



I tell myself over and over, just because a girl has a nice body doesn't mean her insides are as pretty. When I remind myself, it makes me want to cut her open, so I could see how pretty her insides are. Thinking is how you get caught, and now I am getting caught, caught up in all these fantastic visions. I need to take back what I sold. I need back the control. I will not have this stupid girl take anything from me. So what I have told her a few things, means nothing. I will never tell her everything, all she needs to get to know is the metal I will be slicing her with eventually. I want her to crack, I want her to break down. A beautiful mess. I want her to bleed for me.



When she told me about her dream, it makes me wonder if that is her ploy to think that we will be a big happy family. She can believe it, but it will never be true. Baby or not she can not stay here forever. Although if she was pregnant, it would be too soon to tell anyway. It makes me want to throw up thinking about being a father. Just the word made me want to cut my tongue off when I say it. I had to do something about this Alyn situation before it gets way worse. When it starts to not be a game that I can't control, well, we just cant have that.



I always watch her, her body language, her tone, her facial expressions. It makes me uncomfortable when she gets touchy. It might be her goal. I can't let her in my head. Even though I might like that she touches me, I cant have it. I need to let her know where she stands here. She doesn't stand. She should sit, roll over, and play dead when I want her too. Shes not living with her room mate, or her friend, I own her till I kill her. I am going to enjoy doing so.



I want her to be scared, I do not want her to have time to think. She will not ever get a chance to plan. Hell, I wont plan, I will just do. Do what i want to her, how I want and when. I don't want her to predict what I will do next. She wont get in my head. I need my thoughts. They are the only thing I have left to myself, My thoughts.