FicWad

Gerard’s hands shook as he slid the card key through the lock. Silently he cursed himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He needed to stop acting like some scared schoolboy. The woman was bound to think something was mentally wrong with him if he didn’t. He got the door open and stood back to let her enter.
“Uh, sorry it’s kinda a mess.” He said noting she was looking around the suite.
Anna laughed, “Actually it looks a lot like my hotel suite. Claire has not arrived yet.”
“Claire?” Gerard asked.
Anna pulled off her coat and handed it to him. He hung it in the closet as she walked over to the sofa and sat down. “Claire is my private secretary.” She paused a moment then added, “Actually she has been with me for years. She is more to me than just a secretary.”
Gerard had finished hanging up his own jacket when she added that last line. His face showed his confusion. “Oh, uh, that’s great.” Shit, now he felt like a total moron. The way she had added that about Claire was with love in her voice. No wonder she wasn’t married.
Anna watched his face closely a minute before it dawned on her what he was thinking. “I am not gay, Gerard.” She said smiling. “Claire is my best friend. As I said we have been together a very long time.”
Gerard wondered if he could possible feel any stupider. “Oh, I didn’t think you were.” He lied.
Once again Anna gave him a smile that seemed to say she knew he was lying. “Would it bother you if I was?’ She asked.
Gerard crossed the room and sat down beside her. “No.” He answered but then seemed to change his mind so he blurted out, “Well yeah.” As soon as those words left his mouth he cringed.
Anna laughed as she reached out to touch his arm. “It is okay. I believe I understand what you mean.”
He looked at her a moment before saying, “You know it’s weird but I get the feeling you do. I’m just not sure why that unnerves me.”
“It unnerves you because you are not comfortable with anyone understanding you.”
Gerard frowned, “That doesn’t make since.”
Anna sat back and sighed, “You do not want anyone else understanding you while you are having trouble understanding yourself.”
He leaned back on the sofa and closed his eyes a minute. “I’m so fuckin’ tired of feeling confused about everything. I don’t feel like me anymore, I haven’t since my divorce.” He said softly.
“The divorce was very hard for you.” Anna said as she slipped off her shoes and tucked her feet under her.
Gerard couldn’t believe he had mentioned the divorce let alone to this beautiful woman. He sat up and opened his eyes and gave her his trademark smirk. “Yeah, well I don’t want to think about that. I’d much rather talk about you.” He reached over and touched her hand.
Anna’s smile slipped. “No.” She whispered.
He blinked, “No?”
“Do not fall into that character. I realize you think that is how you once would have acted alone with a woman in your hotel room but that character was just a character, Gerard.”
Anger filled his thoughts, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. How the fuck would you know how I acted before? You don’t know what I was like. I was just a guy who liked to party, get drunk and screw. Just like my friends did. That’s the person I was.”
Anna didn’t let his anger hurt her. She understood his anger was truly directed at himself. “So you are saying that person is the person you now miss?”
She was confusing him and it made him angrier. “Yeah, that’s the guy I was and that’s what I still am now. People don’t get that. I’m not some fuckin’ savior. I’m not some stupid fuck these kids look up to. I’m just a guy, nothing more.”
“The pressure has become too much for you.” Anna said softly.
He clinched his fists, “The pressure?”
She nodded, “Yes, the pressure that comes with fame. The pressure that comes with being Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. Do you think I have not done any research? Did you think I have not been to any of the fan sites? I have seen how everything you do and say is poured over.”
The fact that she made him sound like a research project brought his fury to full force. “Don’t try to understand me, Sugar. You won’t like what you find. The man you think I am doesn’t exist. This is what I am.” He leaned over, grabbed her and pulled her to him. His lips crashed down on hers.
Anna’s body went stiff. Her lips remained shut tight even though his tongue teased begging for them to open. A moment later through the haze on anger he realized she wasn’t responding. He pulled away and sat back.
Standing he crossed the room to the large French doors and saw that the snow had gone from dancing snowflakes to a heavy downfall. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He said running his hands over his face.
Anna was trying to deal with her own emotions. So many times she had imagined their first kiss but never had it been like what had just happened. “I am sorry.” She said as she slipped on her shoes. “I should be going.” She was almost to the closet door when his words stopped her.
“Please.” His voice shook, “Don’t go. Not yet.”
Anna turned to look at him. He was still standing by the doors looking so lost that her heart sank. “It is okay, Gerard.”
“Call me, Gee.” He said surprising himself and her.
Slowly a smile lit her face, “Okay, Gee.” She said softly. “I will stay if you promise we will simply talk about unimportant things.”
Her wording made him smile, “Unimportant things?”
She nodded, “Yes, no more deep thoughts.”
Gerard laughed and it felt good. “Okay, I understand.” He walked back to the sofa and stood waiting, hoping she would do the same. A moment later she did cross the room and sat back down.
“Can I just say one more thing that I guess would be considered a little deep?’ He asked softly.
Anna nodded and waited.
“There is something about you that scares me.” He rushed on not wanting her to take his words in a bad way, “I know I said before that I didn’t think you are different but you are. You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever met.”
Anna smiled but remained silent.
“I mean I just met you and yet it’s like I’ve known you for a long time. That sounds crazy, doesn’t it?”
This time it was Anna who reached out and touched his arm. “No, not crazy. I believe we simply connected.”
He nodded looking down at her hand. “Yeah, and that scares me but at the same time I kinda like it.”
“Yes, I understand.” She whispered. “More than you know.”

For hours they sat and talked about music, art and comics. Gerard realized he had truly never met anyone who could talk about any subject he chose. He loved the way her face lit up when she laughed but it was her eyes that seemed to speak to him more than her voice. It was nearly 3 am when his voice finally began to grow hoarse.
“I should be going.” Anna said realizing he was tried.
Gerard looked towards the balcony doors. “It’s like a blizzard out there.”
Anna followed his gaze. “I only have a few blocks to go.”
“Stay.” The word left his mouth without thought simply true emotion. When she looked away he added, “Please, I’ll sleep out here on the sofa. You can take the bed.”
“No.” Anna said but seeing his smile drop she added, “I will sleep here. I insist.”
He wanted to argue but seeing the look on determination in her eyes he nodded. “Okay, I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket.” By the time he returned she had slipped off her shoes. She took the pillow from him.
“Thank you.”
Gerard still clutched the blanket. “Lay down and I’ll cover you.”
This tender side of him touched her deeply. She laid down and he threw the blanket over her making sure to tuck it in at her feet. Anna giggled.
“Hey, it’s so your feet don’t get cold.” He teased.
He stood back up and moved around the room to turn off the lights. Anna closed her eyes but a moment later felt him standing over her.
“Goodnight.” He whispered leaning down and brushing his lips against her cool forehead.
“Goodnight, Gee.” She whispered back.
When he spoke again he was standing by the door to the bedroom. “Anna, thank you for tonight. I do realize you saw what was in my hand.”
She was surprised he would mention the bag containing the liquor bottle. “A moment of weakness.” She whispered.
His voice was strong. “Was overcome by hours of simply talking with someone very special.”
Anna smiled in the darkness. “You are very special, Gee.”
“No, but you are.” With that he moved into the bedroom.

An hour later Anna knew he had fallen asleep. She got up and neatly folded the blanket leaving it on the sofa. Slipping on her shoes she couldn’t stop herself from walking silently into the bedroom. He had left the drapes open so the moonlight spilled across his face. She never grew tired of gazing at that face. Her lips were a soft brush across his forehead making him smile in his sleep.
“Sleep well, Gee.” She whispered before turning and leaving.

The morning sun was streaming through the window when Gerard opened his eyes. Memories from last night filled his mind. Quickly he slid from the bed and walked out into the living room hoping to find Anna still on the sofa. His smile slipped when he saw the folded blanket. He stood looking down at the empty sofa when his cell rang.
“Hey Bro.” Mikey’s voice was unusually chipper.
“What’s up?’ Gerard asked wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“Not much. Hey, it was great meeting Anna last night wasn’t it?”
Gerard sighed, “Yeah, it was.”
“Man it’s gonna be cool having her on the tour with us. I can’t believe she said she’d let me read her new book. How fuckin’ awesome is that?”
“Pretty fuckin’ awesome.” Gerard agreed.
“So did you guys talk much when you drove her to her hotel?” Mikey asked.
Suddenly Gerard realized he didn’t want to share what had happened last night with anyone. The time he and Anna had spent together was special. “No, not much.” He laughed, “We did talk about the weather.”
Mikey groaned, “The weather? How exciting.”
Gerard looked out at the snow-covered world. “I don’t know. Dancing snowflakes and moonbeams are pretty sweet.”

AUTHORS NOTE: Hello everyone. Thanks for the reviews. I am going to try to post chapters twice a week but I can’t promise I can do it all the time. Life is pretty crazy right now but I’ll do my best. Take care. Love ya all. Elena XOXO