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“Thousand Shinji: chapter3”

Disclaimer: originally written by Academia Nut, reposted by SkuldHammer with his permission. I don’t claim creative ownership of “Thousand Shinji” or “the Open Door.” I don’t own Warhammer 40,000 or Neon Genesis Evangelion.

To read the entire “New Chaos” series, go to http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1443555/Academia_Nut

ANANANANANAN
Gendo had returned to a situation… somewhat outside his scenario. He had expected his son to be forced into a situation where the only options would further serve to break his psyche, make him easier to control in the future. Instead he had arrived to find a growing pro-Shinji camp in the NERV staff, especially amongst the technicians who worked directly with him and Unit 01.
"What is your post-battle analysis Captain Katsuragi?" Gendo asks coolly.
"After running simulations both with and without Shinji-san on the MAGI supercomputers, we have come to the conclusion that he performed at 92 efficiency of the optimal scenario, given what we knew. Part of the problem is that we badly under-estimated the Angels' ability to learn and adapt. In essence, because of Shinji's initial actions the Angel Shamshel marked him as an immediate threat and attacked as strongly as possible from the beginning, limiting Shinji's options. Damage to Tokyo-3 and Unit 01 is thus considered to have been less than most probably outcomes, excluding losing scenarios," Misato reports.
Gendo took a moment to digest this report. This was not what he wanted to hear.
"Recommendations?" He asks.
Misato pulls out a thick folder and replies, "We have several, a few of which have already been implemented. We have updated the pilot training programs for both the Second and Third Child to include much more difficult scenarios than previously generated under the assumption that the Angels will adapt at a rate 25 greater than we have previously seen and that each subsequent Angel will have learned from the mistakes and failures of the previous ones. The biggest issue though is that we need more effective weapons and armour for the Evas."
"And where would we get the money for this?" Gendo replies coldly.
Raising an eyebrow, Misato smiles and says, "Corporate sponsorship."
Gendo was not expecting that response.
"Nike is willing to pay us fifty million USD for permission to use this in their next advertising campaign," Misato says, passing Gendo a picture from her folder. The picture is a black and white silhouette of Unit 01 in mid-air above Shamshel, with the English words "Just Do It" in red letters beneath the image. "They are also willing to pay a considerable amount towards the repair of the Eva's armour if allowed to put their swoosh on the soles of Unit 01's feet. Several other large corporations are clamouring to be allowed to donate to the Eva program money, resources, and expertise and desire to make statements of solidarity."
"'Statements of solidarity'?" Gendo asks incredulously.
"For once they all seem to be looking at the long term, big picture, in that if humanity is destroyed by the Angels then there won't be anyone to make a profit off of. Short term, being associated with the people trying to save the planet from alien invaders will do wonders for their public relations," Misato explains.
Gendo considers this, and then deciding that since he plans on initiating Third Impact within a year he might as well take advantage of the potential resources. The Old Men would probably have their fingers in things anyway, but a line of resources that they didn't directly control would be useful.
"Very well, begin sorting through proposals from the corporations. And have we figured out how that video of the fight leaked to the Internet?" Gendo asks.
Ritsuko shrugs and says, "The film was edited so that the original makers are still unknown, and the initial release was done from a public terminal here in Tokyo-3 as a global e-mail spamming. The initial terminal was destroyed by a dormant virus that erased and then overwrote the hard drive shortly after the release, which was probably done with a time delay. What little we found was all amateur script kiddie stuff, which means that there are no fingerprints in the coding to trace as it is was publicly available. The MAGI might be able to crack it if we devote considerably more processing time and power to the problem, but there is not a lot of evidence to go by."
Frowning, Gendo says, "Unless there is a repeat of this sort of leak, forget about it then. Have public relations clean up the rest. Let us return to the discussion on combat capacities of Unit 01 then Captain Katsuragi."
Nodding, Misato says, "We already have several plans for updating the weapons and armour for Unit 01. Of particular interest is to use the AT-field amplifiers we have to produce an effective close combat weapon that will not rely on neutralizing an Angel's AT-field first."
Passing over a set of documents detailing the initial proposal, featuring an Eva sized staff that would warp the AT-field produced by an Eva and wrap it around its length while altering the field's harmonics. It would theoretically be impossible for any single opposing AT-field to nullify the field around the staff and around the Eva simultaneously.
"Is this proposal possible Dr. Akagi?" Gendo asks.
Shrugging, Ritsuko says, "I've reviewed it and it is theoretically possible, and we already have most of the individual components realized. We would have to build one and field test it to know for sure though."
Nodding, Gendo passes the document back and says, "Very well, begin full engineering and design. What other proposals do we have?"
"We have already moved up the time table for completion on our positron rifle, but it is rather large and bulky so considering the speed of the last Angel, it may not be as effective as we hoped. There is some research being done to miniaturize the weapon somewhat. That said; we are working on a weapon designed to have both armour piercing and explosive properties in order to cause maximum tissue damage. We also have several other proposals, although they are all less practical or achievable than what I have already detailed," Misato explains.
"Then go with the most achievable options," Gendo says before declaring, "This meeting is adjourned, the Vice Commander and I have other business to attend to."
Once everyone had filed out, Gendo turned to Fuyutsuki and cries out, "What the hell happened?"
---
Rei was for the first time in her life, confused. Pilot Ikari had been telling her things the past few days, things that scared her with the sense they made. And now Rei found that she had questions. Questions like, "Who am I?"
Pilot Ikari told her that he had learned meditative and focusing techniques that allowed him to expand on the same potential that allowed him to pilot an Eva. The man who had trained him also introduced him to a strange religion featuring four rather strange deities, with Pilot Ikari only worshipping one of the four, if acknowledging the other three.
He worshipped the god of change and evolution, of hope. For him, nothing was impossible; everything was achievable if one was smart and strong enough. He saw the world and saw limitless potential in everything.
Rei did not share that point of view.
Strangely, Pilot Ikari did not mind the fact that she did not share this opinion. In fact, his insistence that she was incomplete was over her lack of strong emotions. The conversation still played out in her mind.
"The gods are beings of emotion, just as humans are. If you wish to touch even a fraction of their power, you must open up to the raw veins of feeling within you," Pilot Ikari said.
"Why?" Rei had asked, not grasping the reasoning behind his words.
"Why must you open up, or why do it in the first place?" Pilot Ikari asked back.
For a moment Rei considered this before saying, "Why would I do it in the first place?"
Pilot Ikari grinned and said, "Power, what else?"
Rei blinked a few times before asking, "Why would I want power?"
"Why not? Power is freedom. If you have power, you can choose how to do things, when to do things, and all the other little details. If I had more power the other day, I would not have fought the Angel the way I did, and it would have been easier for all involved. I especially would have been at less risk of dying," Shinji explains.
Frowning now, Rei says, "I am not afraid of death, so why should I seek more power?"
Pilot Ikari twitched an eyebrow at this remark, and Rei immediately hid away all thoughts relating to her "sisters" lest he pluck them from her mind. Still smiling, he said, "Not afraid of death are you? Why is that?"
"I am replaceable," Rei said.
"Oh? So you're a piece of trash then, a mass produced consumer item to be used and discarded when no longer needed?" Shinji asked mockingly.
Rei frowned deeply at him.
He smirked and said, "What? Those are the only things that are even remotely replaceable: cheap copies made on a large scale. You use one up, discard it, and there's another one waiting, like facial tissues out of a box. Are you a facial tissue, to catch someone else's tears and snot and other less pleasant things and then be tossed aside?"
Rei did not answer that question.
"So you do consider yourself replaceable," Shinji says, the smile not leaving his face. "Does that make you angry?"
"No."
"Do you want to change the situation?"
"I have no need to."
"Does it make you happy then?"
There was a long pause.
Pilot Ikari broke the silence by saying, "Curious reaction to a curious question, no? If you are replaceable as a person, then your death is inevitable, no? But neither is death the end to your work. So why not be happy? Inevitability is the antithesis of hope, for hope is defiance of the seemingly inevitable. When you have no hope, you have no fear. When you have nothing to be afraid of, why not enjoy your life? Live and love and be joyful while you can, for death will come for us all."
There was a meaningful pause before Pilot Ikari said, "I don't believe in the inevitable, but then again, I'm not you. Believe what you want, just believe."
Pilot Ikari's words had badly shaken her. She had lived without emotions, without attachments for so long under the assumption that they didn't matter, and now he told her that if nothing mattered then why worry?
She picked up the broken glasses she had acquired when Commander Ikari saved her, trying to find meaning in the only item of sentimental value she kept with her. They were shattered… useless… the Commander had discarded them and acquired a new pair… just as he would discard her and obtain a new Rei if the time came.
If the glasses could feel anything at all, surely they would feel despair. They had served well and faithfully, and then, through no fault of their own, they had been damaged and cast off. But they could not feel. They were inanimate objects. If Rei did not feel, did that make her inanimate?
But she did feel. She felt affection and loyalty for Commander Ikari. She felt drawn to Pilot Ikari and simultaneously scared of him. But why should she be scared? She had known her whole life that there were other clones capable of taking her place should she die. She had already perished once. Death was not an end for her, so why should she fear it?
Why should she fear anything?
Because even if she could not die, others could die or get hurt. And if NERV failed against the Angels, then there would be no more clone bodies to take her place. The mission to defeat the Angels was thus the most important thing to her. That was the only thing that was not inevitable, that was the only thing to fear. Everything else could be endured.
A sudden epiphany struck Rei. She could endure any level of physical pain, so why not emotional pain? If she could endure, then she had nothing to fear. If she had nothing to fear, then why limit her contact with others?
So this was what Pilot Ikari, what Shinji had meant that power was freedom. Power and strength was freedom from the chains of the self and from the chains of others. She also now understood when he said that she was incomplete. If she felt nothing, then she was no better than the broken glasses in her hands. And how could an inanimate object do anything?
Rei fell asleep smiling for the first time.
---
Shinji was humming to himself happily while reading the newspaper. The announcement of Nike's newest advertising campaign had led to a sudden jump in their stocks as investors worldwide noted the marketing coup of getting the image of Unit 01 performing a "Shinji Suicide Special". Overall, it was a good day to have already invested in Nike stock.
Or Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, who had been allowed to announce that they were the primary supplier of heavy machinery to Tokyo-3 and had even been involved in some of the armour production for the Evas.
Or any one of a dozen companies that had proclaimed their association with NERV and the Evangelion program.
Shinji's net worth had tripled in the past four days, and he was already covertly moving to expand that wealth further still. Money attracted more money, and within another two to three months his income from his investments would start exceeding his income from his NERV salary, to say nothing of his net worth. Within a year he could easily become one of the richest individuals in Japan.
And no one would know just how much money he had. Off shore accounts were a wonderful thing.
The doorbell rang and Shinji said, "I'll get it Misato-san."
As he had expected, Toji and Kensuke were waiting for him at the door, and they immediately said, "Good morning Shinji-san"
Misato smoothly reached her arm about the doorway to the room she was in and said silkily, "Good morning boys."
"Good morning Misato-san!" Both said enthusiastically and in a sing-song voice.
Rolling his eyes at their predictable response, Shinji throws on his coat and picks up his book bag and says, "Come on you two, if you stand here too long not only will we be late, but you'll die of dehydration from all the drool."
Practically dragging the two horny teenagers away, Shinji then quietly waits for the daily, "Ah man Shinji, you're so lucky, getting to live with such a major babe like Misato."
"Hardly worth it when there's no way in hell I would ever get anywhere and I have to clean up after her all the time. Woman is an absolute slob," Shinji replies in annoyance.
"But still man…" Toji begins before trailing off into a hormone fuelled day dream.
Shaking his head, Shinji says, "Trust me, reality is never as good as dreams."
Unless you force reality to be like dream, but that's a little different.
"Oh come on, you're just trying to discourage us so you can Misato all to yourself," Toji complains.
"Just as I'm sure you're trying to get us all after Misato so that you can grab the girl who is actually making googly eyes towards you without anyone noticing," Shinji replies.
Had there been a soundtrack to his life, there suddenly would have been the sound of a needle scratching to a stop across a record.
"WHAT?" Toji cried out.
Grinning slyly, Shinji says, "You heard me. I see and hear things you guys don't because instead of staring only at girls chests and mouthing off, I'm actually paying attention. Thus it's not that hard to tell who likes you Toji-kun."
The psychic powers don't hurt either.
"So who is it?" Toji demands.
"Well…" Shinji says, dragging out the last syllable before saying, "No. I could tell you, but where's the fun in that? Tell you what, if you don't figure it out by the end of the day today I'll tell you… but you'll owe me."
"Like you need more money Mr. Only Egyptian Cotton Will Do," Toji says.
Rolling his eyes, Shinji says, "I can't help it if unlike some people I have refined tastes. And obviously I wouldn't be asking for money. It would be a favour."
"Oh. Well I suppose. I bet you I'll figure it out real quick," Toji says arrogantly.
Deciding to come back into the conversation at this point, Kensuke says, "Oh? You mean now that you know that there's a girl with a crush on you, you can figure it out?"
"Shut up Kensuke," Toji grumbles while taking a half-hearted swing at his friend, who easily moves aside.
Shinji was about to comment when he felt a strange mind approaching. It was… was… bubbly. Shinji was suddenly rather worried.
"Shiiiiiiiinji-kun," a strange female voice called out, causing the trio to turn around and find a very strange, very terrifying image.
"Toji… are my glasses busted or is Rei running towards us? And smiling?" Kensuke asks rather worriedly.
"She is," Toji answers fearfully.
"I'm… I'm scared. Hold me Toji," Kensuke asks.
"Only if you hold me back," Toji demands and the two of them grip the other in abject terror.
Her bandages now mostly off, Rei approaches the three with a huge grin on her face, but it looked like she didn't know how to smile properly, and instead it came off as some sort of psychotic killer grin.
"Good morning Shinji-kun, I thought about what you said, and you were right, I can endure. I am much happier now," she says, before bowing and continuing on her way.
Toji and Kensuke watched her go until she turned a corner, at which point they realized how closely they were hanging on to one-another, at which point they leapt apart and brushed themselves off in as manly a manner as possible given the circumstances.
That was… not quite as planned. Thank Tzeentch for back-ups!
"What the hell was that about?" Toji asks while glancing back and forth to make sure no one saw what had happened.
"I'm… not quite sure. I think something that I said to her may have clicked and now she won't be as quiet anymore," Shinji says with a shrug while continuing on.
"I liked quiet Rei! She was creepy, but at least she wasn't… that!" Toji points out.
"I can't control how people will react to my words," Shinji says theatrically to help cover up his believable lie. Controlling people directly was just too obvious and a pain in the ass to maintain for an extended period of time.
"Well then be more careful with them. What the hell did you say to her anyway?" Toji asks.
"Oh, just talking philosophy with a fellow Pilot," Shinji says.
"Rei pilots an Eva?" Kensuke asks, excited about anything to do with the Evangelion program.
"It's how she got hurt. You can try talking to her about it if you want," Shinji says, and Kensuke suddenly got a look on his face that suggested that was probably a bad idea.
The rest of the day was fairly normal, although the sudden change in Rei's character was well noted. She didn't say a whole lot more, but she smiled a great deal, and seemed more animate, more interested in others in a sort of bizarre, mute puppy dog way. The effect was extraordinarily creepy for the rest of the class, although Shinji enjoyed it to an extent as it helped soothe out the psychic background noise. When everyone was thinking along the same lines you could sort of tune out that channel of thought.
As they were walking home afterwards, Toji smacked Shinji in the arm and said, "Hey! You lied! There aren't any girls making googly eyes at me."
Smirking both at Toji's denseness and at the way the jock was covertly shaking out his hand after punching Shinji's wiry muscles, Shinji says, "Oh really? Because I could swear that you noticed that there was a girl looking at you all through class today."
"What? No. The only one who kept looking at me was… no way! Dude, you do not have your head screwed on right," Toji cries out in protest.
"You'll note between the yelling at you to shut up, Class Rep Hikari tends to shoot you little glances that aren't authoritarian in nature. She likes you Toji," Shinji says, making a childish face to accent his words.
"But… but… what?" Toji says stumbling over his own words as he suddenly begins reviewing his own interactions with Hikari.
"I think you broke his brain," Kensuke says helpfully.
"I don't think it was in very good repair to begin with," Shinji replies.
"I… uh… I… what am I supposed to do now?" Toji asks desperately.
"Hmm… well, I suppose I could impart to you my somewhat limited sage knowledge on matters such as the heart, but you're already down a favour with me Toji. Want to go even deeper into debt?" Shinji says.
"Yes! Anything! You've got to help me out here man!" Toji cries out.
Shrugging, Shinji says, "Well, first you should ask if you like her back."
Toji struggles with this suggestion for a while before saying, "I don't know!"
He did know, consciously too, he just didn't want to admit it. Shinji would enjoy reading off the list of things Toji found attractive about Hikari.
"Well, let's see what you think about these things. Don't you think that those pig tails of hers are cute? Or that look on her face when she gets annoyed with you? Or the way her skirt flips to the side when…" Shinji enumerates before Toji holds up a hand in protest.
"Alright! Alright! I like her, I like her. No need to make me all jealous now," Toji says, annoyed.
"I am as observant of you as I am of her, and I know how your eyes light up and your ears perk when she does something you like," Shinji explains.
"I'm not a freaking dog!" Toji protests.
"I don't know, you whimper pretty well when she starts chewing you out," Kensuke adds cheekily. He was still cheeky when he dodged the retaliatory punches.
His frustration vented a little, Toji asks, "So now what do I do?"
"Well, if you like her, and she likes you, then isn't it obvious?" Shinji says.
"I can't do that!" Toji cries out in horror.
"I was talking about asking her out," Shinji says with a frustrated sigh.
"So was I!" Toji replies.
Holding up his forehead with his thumb and index finger, Shinji tries not to throw about the term 'monkey' too much before he says, "Okay, if you can't take the direct route, be sneaky. Doesn't Hikari have a younger sister?"
"Yeah, and?" Toji asks.
"Don't you have a younger sister?" Shinji asks.
"Yeah, and?" Toji asks.
I will refrain from mind crushing him, even though it would feel so good right now. I will refrain from mind crushing him…
"So, don't you think a good way of getting closer to Hikari is to see if your sisters know one another? And shouldn't your sister have as many friends as possible in the hospital?" Shinji suggests.
"Isn't that rather… deceptive?" Toji asks worriedly.
Shrugging, Shinji says, "Perhaps, but who gets hurt by it? Your sister will feel better, and you and Hikari will be closer. Plus, I hear she's a really good cook, so I bet you could convince her to help bring a smile to your injured sister by getting her something better to eat than hospital food."
"I… err… ah… that second one might work better than the first," Toji says.
"You do what you think is best," Shinji states before saying, "Well, I have to go. Dr. Akagi is coming over for supper tonight."
Ah, love was a beautiful thing. Especially when it allowed for extra avenues of manipulation of both Toji and Hikari. And Shinji had managed to extract two favours owed out of Toji. Small favours really, but Shinji knew how to take small things and magnify them into big things quite quickly.
Arriving at the apartment, Shinji was assaulted by the smell of instant curry and chilli powder.
By the gods NO!
"Hey Shin-chan! Rits-chan said she would be coming over a little early so I decided to start cooking despite the fact that it was your night to cook. Nice, huh?" Misato called out from the kitchen.
Shinji went and curled up on the floor next to an equally frightened Pen-Pen. The penguin just let out a pained, "Wark!"
"I know Pen-Pen, I know. I thought the dark times were over too," Shinji replied.
"Wark."
"At least capsaicin is an analgesic for birds," Shinji replies.
"Wark. Wark-wark."
"True. The allyl isothiocyanate in all that mustard can't be pleasant for birds either," Shinji concedes.
Ritsuko, who had walked in on this, wondered if she should flee from this den of insanity now, but unfortunately by that time Misato had arrived and hauled her off into her den of horrors.
A little while later while they were all "enjoying" their meal, Ritsuko sudden snapped her fingers and said, "Oh! I just remembered! I keep forgetting to give Rei her new security card. Could you do that for me before you go in tomorrow Shinji-kun?"
"Of course Ritsuko-san," Shinji says, accepting the card. "There's a test of Unit 00 tomorrow, correct?"
"Yes, we believe we have isolated the error that occurred last time, although… uh… well, we also intend for you to be in your Eva this time Shinji. If Unit 00 were to go berserk again, we would prefer for you to be on standby to help restrain it and retrieve Rei… less violently than last time," Ritsuko explains.
"It would be my pleasure," Shinji says. Bonus points either way. He also got the idea that this last part had only recently been added on. "How goes the refit plans for Unit 01 by the way?"
"The engineers are mostly done with the redesign of the armour so we should have it manufactured and installed within a month; maybe less if we get extra funding. The weapons are complete though. The AT-staff will be ready for testing with the Evas next week, and APHEGSRB system is ready for combat trials," Ritsuko explains.
"APHEGSRB?" Shinji inquires?
"Armour Piercing High Explosive Gyroscopically Stabilized Rocket, Boosted. Quite ingenious really. The engineers were having trouble combining an armour piercing profile with the high explosives, or rather combining both with the demands for combat against Angels. Eventually someone came upon the idea of using an old idea for rocket pistols called Gyrojets. The rockets provide a smoother acceleration profile than a standard bullet while achieving armour piercing velocities, and as added bonuses they give better long range accuracy, and better penetration and explosive properties within the range of their fuel. The only problems were low initial exit velocity and feed rate, but they added a small initial propellant block to get around those problems. The ammunition costs a fortune, but they tell me a five round burst would have blown Shamshel in half," Ritsuko explains, wondering idly why she was so interested in the subject.
"Hopefully the Fifth Angel won't be expecting that sort of thing," Shinji says with a smile. He had wanted to make sure that an Eva sized bolter was being produced properly, but the design teams were being tight lipped about it all. "Do they have a simpler name for it?"
"I think the engineers like to call it the boom gun," Ritsuko says with a somewhat annoyed smirk at the childishness of her colleagues.
Both Shinji and Misato shrugged and said, "It works," simultaneously before bursting out into a fit of giggles.
The next day Shinji found himself at Rei's apartment, wondering why it had taken her so long to find the name of her deity. The building was a squalid prefab structure that had mostly been abandoned for the newer structures, despite the fact that Tokyo-3 was only about a decade old. Garbage was scattered everywhere, the elevator had an "Out of Order" sign on it, and the stairwells stank of stale urine.
Shinji could feel Rei's mind on the other side, calm and… bubbly. It was like her new found outlook was reacting badly with something already inside her. At least she wasn't quite as bad as yesterday and seemed to have settled down significantly.
Going to knock on the door after trying the bell to find it was not working Shinji noted that it just swung open when he pressed on it, indicating that both the lock and handle were broken.
"Hello Ayanami-san," Shinji said while walking into the equally squalid apartment, although it was apathy that had made it this way, not the active despoilment present outside.
"Hello Pilot Ikari," Rei answered from somewhere in the apartment.
"Where are you?" Shinji asked.
"In the bathroom contemplating the utility of taking a shower," Rei replied. Shinji noted the clothing on her bed and figured she was probably naked.
"Oh?" Shinji asked, waiting in the hall connecting to her room.
"Yes. I will be performing a test with Unit 00 this afternoon and will thus be exposed to LCL. Therefore I will be required to take a shower later. Taking a shower now seems… like an inefficient use of my time," Rei replies.
"Did you shower yesterday?" Shinji asked.
"No," she answered.
"The day before that?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I was otherwise occupied."
"What with?"
"Living," Rei responded.
"You picked Nurgle, didn't you?" Shinji said with a sigh.
"That deity seemed most in-line with who I am. Are you displeased with my choice," Rei said.
"As a follower of Tzeentch, a little, but frankly, Nurgle is better than where you were before. Nurgle is the god of despair and love, of decay and endurance. All the Chaos gods are many things, for Chaos is all things," Shinji answers.
"I… I feel more connected to things Pilot Ikari," Rei states before walking naked into view.
Shinji did not flinch, did not stutter, and did not become embarrassed at the sight of her body, for he had more self-control than that. Rather he just said, "Then you can begin learning. You will have to learn much yourself though, for I know little of Nurgle's deeper theology, and the methods of the Changer of Ways often stand in opposition to those of the Lord of Decay."
"What you can teach me will be sufficient. I shall find a way to endure my own lack of knowledge," Rei replies while getting dressed.
Nodding, Shinji says, "Perfect. The first lesson is that emotions are power. Mine are hope and ambition and fear. Yours would be love and acceptance and despair. Learn them, know them, and master them. Make them your servants, your allies, your friends. Know when to control them, when to follow them, and when to let them run wild. Know what they mean, what they are telling you, and what you should do about them."
Now fully dressed, Rei sat on her bed and gestured for Shinji to join her. "We have little time before we must report to NERV, but teach me what you can until then."
Sitting down next to her in this den of decay, Shinji smiles and says, "Very well. First you must find your centre, the part of you that defines you. Do not worry if you do find your centre right away, you will often find false ones. But like a misbalanced top, you will soon know if you are off centre. Embrace these false starts, for they move you closer to the truth."
"What is your centre Pilot Ikari?" Rei asks.
"Me," Shinji replies curtly. "For a time I thought it was my father and my hatred for his abandonment of me, but then I realized that I was letting myself be controlled. Now I know that for me, control over myself is the most important thing I have. Control within produces control without, makes me the master of my own destiny."
In another universe, Rei would have probably slapped Shinji for his candid remarks about his father, but instead she asked, "Do you still hate him?"
"Yes, but it is not a definitive hate. A reckoning will inevitably come between us one day, but he shall be the initiator, not I. I have better things to do with my life," Shinji replies.
Rei nods and says, "I can accept this. I can endure this."
"So what do you think defines you right now?" Shinji asks.
"Piloting Unit 00," Rei replies.
"Very good, run with that, use that. How do you feel about it?" Shinji asks.
"I… I must pilot it. There is no choice for me in this manner," Rei says flatly.
"Oh? There is always choice, always things that can be done. You could refuse. You could run away. You could throw yourself off this building," Shinji points out.
Rei shakes her head, "I would be replaced, and my actions would be pointless. Piloting is inevitable. Death is inevitable. These facts must be accepted."
"Does such responsibility without choice not crush you down?" Shinji asks.
"Yes," Rei replies.
"How does that make you feel?" Shinji asks.
"It must be accepted. Despair… despair is inevitable. There is no hope to escape this crushing weight, it must simply be accepted and endured. There is no use… no use despairing over despair," Rei says, a light going off in her head.
"Did you just make a joke Rei?" Shinji asks.
Tilting her head to the side, Rei replies, "Yes. Yes… and now I understand. Despair is inevitable, for all things fall apart, all things come to an end, and nothing can stop that. But love is also inevitable, as is joy. Even the most crushing weight will not prevent that. Even if all else is gone, ground to dust, then memories remain, and in those memories are love and joy. If memories vanish, then the bad go with the good, and then what is there to be sad about? All can be broken and destroyed and ruined… and there will still be nothing to be sad about."
Laughing, Shinji says, "Now you are coming to understand. Understand the meanings of your emotions, and they are powerful. Love binds us. To be bound is to be restrained, but it is also to be strengthened, for it reinforces us if we try to move out of line, even if that motion is involuntary breakage. Acceptance means that we have given in, but is that truly such a bad thing all the time? Just because we may not like the rain does not mean we must defy it, and in accepting it, does it really do us more harm than if we rage against it? And despair, that merely lets us know our limits, no?"
Rei looked at Shinji and said, "You do not believe these things?"
Shrugging, Shinji says, "I can believe that you believe them. I fear that which I do not understand, but I have ambitions to learn, and thus I can hope for a better future. I may fear what you are and may become, but I am ambitious enough to teach you, to guide you, and hope that you and I become something greater for it."
Rei absorbed this knowledge and finally said, "I can accept that."
Glancing at his watch, Shinji notes, "We must get going now."
Far, far away, an Angel began to stir, realizing it had its own appointments to keep.
---
Rei sat in the entry plug for Unit 00, which in turn was locked in place in one of the test chambers, with Unit 01 standing by in case anything should go wrong again. She sat and contemplated the new knowledge she had, and listened to the crew techs describing the progress of the activation test.
As the power-up sequence approached the absolute borderline, Rei could feel the spirit within her Eva begin to stir, began to feel its hatred towards her and all things, but especially Gendo, surface. It wanted to go wild, to destroy, to rip and tear.
Rei faced it with despair. She threw two lifetimes of despair, of the knowledge that death and duty were inevitable, inescapable. The spirit raged all the more, but it was rapidly drowning in the deluge of hopelessness. It could try and kill Rei, but the next day a replacement would come. If it killed that one, then there would be another. And another. And another. And another.
The Eva would serve NERV, one way or another. It would be crushed and ground down and there was nothing it could do. Through the mind link, the beast wailed in despair, only to find Rei still there, smiling at the creature.
I accept you and your rage. Let us share our despair. Let me share my love, so that you are not so lonely.
The beast clutched onto Rei in desperation, and the absolute borderline was achieved. It was still a raging monster, but already it could no longer deny her. Defiance was pointless; she would win, therefore she already won.
In his own Eva, Shinji could feel the daemon in Unit 00 already start to change character. He could feel it happening in his own Eva too, although Unit 00 was far less stable so the change was faster there. But already the daemon was becoming less interested in direct confrontation but in sneakier methods that put it well out of harm's way. The fight with Shamshel had caused it a great deal of pain and it was quite willing to try ranged attacks next time.
And then the call came, announcing that there was an Angel in bound.
"We can have Unit 01 on the surface in sixty seconds," Misato tells Gendo.
"Do it then," Gendo replies coldly.
Taking a quick glance at the new Angel, Misato says, "Prep the positron rifle for action and deploy Unit 01 well away from the target. It has no obvious melee combat abilities, so it will probably use some sort of ranged attack."
Ah, I see that my influence is making those around me smarter, a refreshing change from feeling like I'm the one getting dumber.
Taking the positron rifle from an oversized weapons rack, Shinji clamps it down next to him on the launch platform and hooks in. With a rush the electromagnetic accelerators kick in and propel him towards the surface, his extra senses already expanding outward to taste the future.
Arriving on the surface, Shinji immediately moves to cover behind an available hill, positron rifle at the ready, like a World War One soldier sitting and waiting in the trenches for the enemy to begin coming over the top.
The Fifth Angel rounded a hill and came into view, a giant octahedron made of reflective blue metal, serenely hovering in mid-air. It was essentially a giant "Fuck you" to Shinji, in that it completely disdained getting anywhere near him, preferring instead angled armour and a distinct lack of ground contact. Shinji took it as a compliment.
Extending his awareness into the future to predict his shots, Shinji found…
Son of a bitch!
Shinji twitched off two quick rounds from the positron cannon before ducking down behind the hill and running for all he was worth. The two bundles of magnetically contained plasma blanketing cores of positrons drifted right into the path of the proton beam fired from within the enormous Angel. The opposing fields twisted and bent, the much smaller positron blasts taking the worst of it, but the Angel's attack was slowed and warped just enough that Shinji managed to dive out of the way as the hill he was hiding behind was turned into a glass cliff.
What happened next Shinji really would have liked to have taken credit for, but anyone who looked at it would see right away that the whole affair was really just dumb luck.
The first shot took the brunt of the warping effect, its containment field completely disrupted, causing the bundle of plasma to spill out along with the positrons, which then proceeded to play merry hell with the atmosphere and produce a large ionization patch that featured separated positive and negative charges. The negative chunk then went and bent the Angel's beam.
The chaotic dance of dynamically moving magnetic and electric fields, hauled the second positron blast into a bizarre and unpredictable path that somehow, miraculously, put it a few metres from the firing point on the Angel. With the Angel still diverting most of its power to the proton beam, the plasma sheath was capable of burning through its AT-field with raw brute force to deliver the packet of positrons straight to the outer edges of the accelerator ring, which was now heavily charged with electrons produced in the production of the beam.
There was a terrible explosion along the flank of Ramiel that left enormous cracks along the affected sections of its armour.
Picking himself up off the ground after the dive, Shinji pumped his positron cannon until the weapon ran dry. The first blast caught the Angel while it was still stunned and blew off a huge chunk of formerly smooth armour, while the second was intercepted by a rapidly building AT-field and only the positron packet made it through. The third through eighth rounds bounced off the now full strength AT-field like BBs against main battle tank armour.
The Angel began to rotate to expose an undamaged section to Shinji, its circumference glowing with a brilliant blue-white light as it built up a massive charge while maintaining its AT-field.
"Retreat looks good right about now," Shinji muttered just a few seconds before the recall order was given and he ran for the nearest elevator tube. Screw staying and fighting now.
Shinji leapt head first for the elevator shaft just in time for Ramiel to fire its beam. An entire block of armoured buildings were obliterated and the water of the lake beneath was pressed down by the confining magnetic field. Shinji was caught in the chest plate by the blast, causing his armour rapidly evaporating and the oxygen in his LCL boiling out of solution.
But momentum carried him clear of the blast when he fell down the elevator shaft. Despite being in incredible pain, Shinji managed to dig Unit 01's fingers into the side of the shaft wall and slow his descent enough that neither he or the Eva were killed on impact with the bottom.
It was at about that point he fell unconscious.
---
"What is it doing?" Misato asked as the feed from the surface came in, showing Ramiel descend to the surface of the lake and then settle in up to its equator, a massive cloud of steam rising from it upon contact.
"Licking its wounds it looks like," Ritsuko commented. "That last blast had quite the build-up, probably more than was safe for the Angel."
"So we get a couple of hours while it cools down and regenerates before the attack is resumed. Great," Misato comments sarcastically.
"It could have been worse. If we had deployed a minute later Shinji would have been in its firing arc while he was still attached to the elevator rails. He would have been a sitting duck," Ritsuko points out.
"True. What's his status?" Misato asks.
"He took a few bruises from his fall down the shaft, and some neural overload from the blast, but otherwise he is in good condition. We can have Unit 01 back in working order within 3 hours, but neither can take another pounding like what just happened. We're all out of reserve stocks of armour for both Evas," Makoto reports.
Misato watched the Angel cooling in the lake and she said, "I have an idea."
---
Shinji sat in the hospital bed reviewing the plan Misato came up with and replied, "I like it. It has a certain appealing deviousness to it. Although I must admit that the naming conventions are rather… unfortunate."
Misato shrugs and says, "That's the media for you. Too bad the alliteration is in English and not Japanese though."
"Would this technically be a 'Shinji Suicide Special'? After all I won't be launching using a high explosive blast and I will be in a controlled fall. Incidentally, has any of the equipment been tested yet?" Shinji asks.
"I think the phrase will be expanded to anything insane you do at this point," Misato says with a smile.
"That didn't answer the second question," Shinji says in an annoyed tone.
"Nothing has been field tested yet…" Misato says before saying more happily, "Everything should theoretically work."
Sighing, Shinji just shakes his head and says, "Please tell me the plane has been tested."
"Well of course! Well… no, don't worry about that part!" Misato says, waving the matter aside cheerfully.
Shinji groans and says, "You know what, don't tell me. What are the chances of success?"
"The MAGI give a 4 chance of success, which is our best result yet!" Misato replies.
Just shaking his head, Shinji takes a pen from one of Misato's pickets and starts writing on the plans, saying, "I presume you've been testing the Angel's defences?"
"Yes, although we've trying to prevent it from figuring out what we want to learn from it. The bastards are remarkably good at learning and adapting," Misato replies.
"What's the refresh time for its beam weapon?" Shinji asks while making annotations and notes.
"Twelve seconds," Misato replies.
Tossing the plan back to her, Shinji says, "There, now I have a twelve second window and that other addition should bump the chances of success up a bit."
Looking it over, Misato grins and says, "This is going to cause a lot of very expensive things to explode."
"If we lose this battle, will it matter?" Shinji inquires.
"Not particularly, although if you fight every battle like it is your last one, eventually it will come true," Misato notes.
"Then can we recover from the losses in a reasonable amount of time?" Shinji asks.
Looking over the list of changes Shinji made, Misato makes a quick tally before saying, "These losses are within our budget. I'll make these suggestions."
Getting up to leave, Misato says, "Oh, and you have a visitor."
Shinji already knew that Rei was waiting outside, so he said, "Send her in."
Misato raised an eyebrow, to which Shinji shrugged and said, "Who else would have clearance to see me here?"
Shrugging in concession to that logic, Misato says, "Rei, you can come in now." Just before leaving, she glanced over her shoulder with an impish smirk and said, "Have fun you two."
Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Shinji gestures for Rei to sit and asks, "Have you seen the plan yet?"
"It is… ambitious," she replies after consideration.
"Just my kind of plan," Shinji says with a smile. "I understand they've begun strapping on whatever they can to give Unit 00 some extra protection."
Rei smiles at that and says, "It is what the Americans call 'hillbilly armour' I believe."
Shinji smiles and says, "This will be fun, I can assure you of that. I wish I could teach you about precognition, but that took me months to figure out."
"Is that how you struck Ramiel the first time?" Rei asked.
His face twitching in a half smile, Shinji says, "No, that was all Tzeentch's handiwork, and taking credit for His work is a bad idea. I was just shooting blind because I knew the particle beam would be deflected a bit by the shots."
"You were hopeful it would help," Rei points out.
"Something that between the two of us only I could do at this point," Shinji replies.
Nodding, Rei says, "I shall not hope about our battle."
"Oh?" Shinji asks.
"No. Victory is inevitable," Rei states simply.
"And how do you know that if I haven't taught you how to read the strands of the future yet?" Shinji asks.
"Because you have enough hope for the two of us, and I enough endurance," Rei says before standing up and leaning over to kiss Shinji on the forehead in an almost motherly way. Perhaps sisterly. Certainly familial.
"I must go and help prepare," Rei replies before leaving.
Shinji raised his hand to his forehead where the moisture from Rei's lips still lingered, and waited until he was certain she had moved out of psychic range before he burst out in tears. After a while he settled down, climbed out of the bed, got dressed, and then found something that he could draw the Star of Chaos on.
Kneeling down in prayer, Shinji says, "Great and Wise Tzeentch, I do not hope to comprehend your plans and ways, but I thank you for blessing this humble servant. That you might know my soul better than I do humbles me, and that you might grant me the desires of my heart truly astonishes me."
He then pauses for a moment before adding on, "And if you're doing this to royally screw me over later, know that it had better be damn well worth it, because I will not simply accept being fucked over like an apathetic follower of Nurgle. You obviously know me well enough to know that if you pull some bullshit like that, I will find a way to hunt your ass down, no matter how insane and stupid that might be. And if you do something like that just so that I do hunt you down for whatever reason, I will simply have to say that… okay, if your scheme is that complex I'm probably going to have to give you your due."
That's the problem with worshipping the god of schemes. You never quite know whether or not you're being divinely blessed, screwed over royally, or both at the same time.
Standing up, Shinji found Misato standing behind him, looking at the symbol, a curious look on her face.
"What is that symbol anyway, it's on your shrine at home too," she asks.
"It's the symbol of a tiny religious sect, very localized but kind of old. I'm probably one of two or three people who observe it left with that old man I told you about being one of them. It has to do with a belief of interconnection between all things, how objects and ideas can seem to be moving in opposite directions but all tie back to a central point. To an extent it is also something of a cardinal rose, showing global perspective in all things," Shinji explains, lying about half the time.
"Huh, neat. Would you like me to ask the ground crews to paint one of those stars on your Eva? For luck," Misato suggests.
Yes! Yes! A thousand times YES!
Keeping his face straight, Shinji nods solemnly and says, "If you could get approval, it would be nice. I didn't want to seem presumptuous or proselytizing with my religion."
"At a time like this you could probably ask to slap a giant Buddhist swastika on Unit 01 and neither Germany nor New Israel would make a peep," Misato points out.
"If you think it would be alright, I would appreciate it," Shinji says happily before handing over the drawing and saying.
"I'll get it down to them right away. Meet at the Eva cages any time before 1435," Misato say, accepting the drawing of the Chaos Star.
"Thank you," Shinji replies, bowing gratefully. Once she was gone, he left the room and quietly found his way to the roof of the building with a "borrowed" mop handle. It didn't have the weight or balance of his staff, but Shinji needed some good practice with staff fighting before round two with Ramiel.
Full speed practice.
To anyone who might have been watching, Shinji became a blur, the mop handle moving in ways its creator had never intended. Had Shinji been seeking to actually hit anything, he would have broken the lightweight wood several dozen times over, but as it was, the only things he struck were shadows.
The Angels were evolving, getting smarter and tougher, but then again, so was he. So was NERV. So was humanity. The Angels disdained close combat after losing terribly twice in that area? Well, if that was the case, then they had made a mistake, an evolutionary dead end. Ramiel was over-specialized while humanity was still adapting.
There were still tricks to play that the Angels, in their reactive nature, had yet to dream up.
They would probably try something totally different after Ramiel fell, would seek a new evolutionary path to try and throw humanity off. It wouldn't help. They were already preparing for new battles, expecting tougher and stranger enemies.
Shinji slammed his makeshift staff into the ground and it shattered. Tossing the splintered remains to the side contemptuously, Shinji smiled. The Angels were strong, he would give them that, but humanity was smarter.
Shinji knew who he would always bet on.
---
Ramiel had lifted out of the water several hours ago, and begun drilling down to the Geofront at a slow and relentless pace. The faces damaged by the initial exchange of fire had regenerated, replaced by complex geometric patterns that marred the Angel's once perfect surface but that also were probably sub accelerators to its primary central ring.
The Angel was apparently experimenting with point defence.
The MAGI estimated that these additions only decreased the probability of success from 23 to 18.
High above Tokyo-3, Shinji was quietly meditative inside the entry plug to Unit 01.
When the enemy has overwhelming ranged firepower, there are two methods of dealing with it. The first is to engage with equally overwhelming firepower.
The second is to close to short range faster than the enemy can respond and stab the bastard before he can track his weapon against you.
The solid rocket boosters added to the Eva lift transport for this mission cut out and the pilots ejected away in special escape pods as the enormous plane went into a steep dive from the boundaries of space, plunging almost straight towards Ramiel's position below. At a designated point in the trajectory Unit 01 was released from the main body of the transport and allowed to drift up and behind the plummeting plane.
On the ground, Tokyo-3 suddenly responded with incredible force, with missile pods and autocannons suddenly pouring torrents of fire into the stationary Angel. While the weapons would have just bounced the AT-field off anyway, Ramiel responded with bursts from its particle cannon to efficiently dispose of the potential threats, and the new growths did indeed prove to be smaller versions of its main weapon.
At which point the now nearly supersonic transport came into the range of notice of the Angel and it realized that it had probably been had. When it noticed the unfolding AT-field of Unit 01, it knew it had definitely been had.
Just as the plane slammed into the Angel's AT-field in a massive explosion of jet fuel and shrapnel made from expensive composites, Rei in Unit 00 exited from the closest elevator shaft with the positron rifle and an enormous chunk of SSTO heat shielding as a shield. A second barrage of missiles and shells opened up at the same time, and the Type 12 mortar held in reserve rolled out of tunnel and opened fire.
With two enemy AT-fields eroding it and much of its energy devoted to recharging its particle cannon, Ramiel was forced to let some of the fire through in order to keep Unit 01 from breaking through and landing on its surface, completely outside of its firing arcs. While most of the conventional weapons bounced harmlessly off its dense armoured surface, the enormous beam from the Type 12 mortar carved a huge gouge in its surface.
Firing the experimental rockets installed just hours before, Shinji slowed down so that he hit the Angel's AT-field at a reasonable speed rather than like a bug splattering against a windshield. The rockets rapidly burning through their fuel, he kept himself from slipping down the angled field and into the main beam's firing arc, and pulled the highly experimental AT-staff off his back and plunged it down at the Angel.
Rei took up a position almost directly underneath the Angel and began firing positron blasts up into the point where the drill met the main body, her AT-field completely nullifying that section. After two blasts the drill was blown completely free of the body, while the third attempted to chew deeper into the core.
It's recharge cycle complete, Ramiel immediately obliterated the Type 12 in an apocalyptic display of firepower before strengthening it's AT-field on the underside, Rei's fourth shot being mostly deflected by the hexagonal barrier. Rei immediately ceased firing so as to conserve the remaining shots for the next opportunity to fire.
On the top side, the AT-staff did its job and punched a small hole through Ramiel's AT-field. Crying out in triumph, Shinji shoved it forward and projected a flat plane of force from the tip of the staff, turning it into an atomically sharp spear. The rockets on his back burned out about then, but he held on to the spear, suspended in high above Tokyo-3.
Sensing this new attack, Ramiel moved to neutralize the AT-field projected from the spear, only to discover that Shinji had already adapted Unit 01's field to match, practically inviting him through the barrier. Landing on the angled surface, Shinji dug in until his descent was halted.
Attempting to strengthen its surface AT-field to shove the offending Eva off, Ramiel weakened its bottom defences and Rei began firing with the positron cannon again, digging in to the weakened armour methodically with each round, until she completed the work that the Type 12 had begun, which was to cut an entire chunk of Ramiel off, exposing the core.
Several guided missiles were launched from surface positions, but only one made it through to detonate inside the Angel, the rest being blown out of the sky by the now active point defences. The damage it did was dubious at best, but Ramiel's core was now exposed from the bottom.
Unfortunately, so was its accelerator ring.
A fresh charge established in its mostly hollow body, Ramiel fired at the biggest and most obvious threat: Unit 00. A brilliant beam of violet-white light lanced out from the hole and slammed into Unit 00's shield. Pulling her AT-field tight about her and hiding like an ancient soldier under a rain of arrows, Rei attempted to weather the storm.
Shinji slammed the AT-staff into Ramiel's skin and extended a force blade again, biting deep. Shoving the weapon towards the heart of the Angel, Shinji swore when the emitters suddenly burned out and the weapon went dead, partially embedded in the surface.
Thinking quickly, Shinji hauled Unit 01 up to where it could brace its back against the quite sturdy staff and pull out the last weapon they had that could possibly damage the Angel.
Boring his own AT-field down into the Angel, willing its substance to weaken and dissolve, Shinji fired the new Eva sized bolter point blank into Ramiel. 300mm armour piercing high explosive rounds rocketed out of the barrel and accelerated into the target, each one penetrating a little before exploding and gouging out a new chunk of the target.
Shinji bored a hole straight through the outer armour and exposed the inner core just as the magazine for the weapon ran empty. Ramiel immediately ceased its assault on Unit 00 to turn its attention to this new attack vector.
Shinji had already ejected the first magazine and had a fresh batch firing when the remains of the charge struck him. In total seven bolter rounds struck the bright red core, blowing enormous chunks off of it before Shinji's aim was fouled by super energetic protons slamming into him and pushing him off his precarious perch.
Rolling down the side of the Angel, Shinji only barely managed to catch the edge of the angled surface, leaving his Eva dangling right in front of the main firing trench. Mournfully he watched the new bolter tumble past to land with a crash on a building below.
A blue light began to build along the trench, the Angel badly mauled by the attack but still alive. It would take time to build enough charge, but the Angel had both its tormentors at its mercy now.
On the ground two NERV soldiers brave and stupid enough to have been outside while gods did battle and lucky enough to have survived fired a TOW missile directly at the exposed core. Under any other circumstance the damage would have been minimal, but with the core saturated with energy, straining to accelerate the particles for its cannon in the damaged state, that single anti-tank round was more than enough to finish the job.
The cracked and battered crimson core exploded in a shower of fragments and a massive electrical discharge that nullified the building charge. Like a mighty battleship that had taken one torpedo too many, the now dead Ramiel began to list to the side and drop slowly towards the ground below.
Letting go, Shinji dropped to the ground and found the smouldering wreck of Unit 00 lying in a puddle of half molten concrete and steel within the descending shadow of the falling Angel corpse. Rushing out to her position, Shinji picked up the fallen war machine and hauled it out of the way before using the last few seconds of internal power he had left to extract the half molten entry plug from Unit 00.
Ejecting his own plug, Shinji slid along his partly congealed armour to where Rei's plug was held, emergency venting its LCL. Savagely he ripped off the access hatch with a burst of telekinesis.
He could feel Rei's mind still in there, but it was weak and battered along with her body.
"Rei! Rei! Are you alright?" Shinji called out while feeding her a tendril of psychic energy.
Slumped over in her acceleration couch, Rei looked mostly dead, but after a moment her eyes fluttered half open and she stared at Shinji with a half smile on her face.
"I will endure… Shinji," she then slumped over, unconscious but alive.
Clambering into the entry plug, Shinji hauled Rei out of it and then carried her in his arms to where the various soldiers and emergency teams were boiling out of their underground bunkers.
Medics immediately rushed the two of them, and Shinji handed Rei off to their expert care, adding on, "If anything happens to her, the offending party answers to me."
Despite coming from a scrawny looking fourteen year old boy in a funny looking suit, Shinji just received polite and mildly terrified nods from the medics. The burning mountain of armoured alien flesh in the background that he had helped create probably had something to do with that.
Before the medics could haul him off, Shinji held up his hand and said, "I want to talk to the ones who fired that last missile first!"
After a few minutes of shuffling about, two NERV soldiers carrying a man-portable TOW missile system came forward, somewhat sheepishly.
"Alright you two! The fact that both of you were outside meant that you were disobeying orders. I'm sure your own commanding officers will chew you out for it, but need I remind you that when people don't follow the plans then the plans have a tendency to fall apart. That tends to get people, especially people like me on the frontlines, killed," Shinji said furiously, the two adult men trained in the arts of killing things cowering from the child before them.
Shinji then paused, took a deep breath, and bowed deeply. "All that said, if you had not done what you did, then not only would I be dead, but so would Pilot Ayanami, and with us defeated humanity would have no defence against the Angels. So you have my deepest thanks, and if you ever need anything, you have but to ask it, I owe you that much."
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
Not quite fully fitting with the exact situation, but the sentiment was the same. Plus his standing with NERV would probably go up several more notches after that.
"Okay, good. Now I think reporting to the hospital would be a good idea," Shinji says before collapsing from physical and mental exhaustion.