Categories > Anime/Manga > Neon Genesis Evangelion > "Thousand Shinji"
“Thousand Shinji: chapter6”
Disclaimer: I don’t own Warhammer 40,000 or Neon Genesis Evangelion.
To read the entire “New Chaos” series, go to http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1443555/Academia_Nut
ANANANANANAN
There was an Angel approaching from the ocean, which was reasonable as every one of the bastards had approached from the ocean. Unfortunately for NERV, and somewhat fortunately for anyone owning property in Tokyo-3, the city was still being repaired after the last battle had left it in a state best described as "not fit for another damn battle".
So Units 01 and 02 were being deployed for intercept. Unit 00 was being left behind as reserve, partly because it was still being repaired, partly because they didn't have any spare lifting craft after crashing their primary one into Ramiel to act as cover for Shinji's assault on the octahedral Angel.
"We're going to do this by the book okay? Shinji, you have the lower synch ratio, so you're assigned to fire support. Engage at range so that we can ascertain its capacities. Asuka, with your higher synch ratio and more thorough training, you're assigned to close range combat. Wait for Shinji to finish his ranged strike then if appropriate close in to engage. Be prepared to break off if things get too hot," Misato instructs the pilots from the command van while they fly overhead towards the intercept point.
"Damn it, my debut battle over Japan, and instead of being allowed to do it solo I'm stuck with you," Asuka complains.
Popping up a holographic display, Shinji stares at Asuka coldly and responds, "Our mission is not to fight the enemy, it is to kill the enemy, quickly, cleanly, and efficiently. Two Evas can achieve all three better than one."
"Just stay out of my way Third Child," Asuka growls at the projection.
"Considering that I'll be the one behind you with the heavy weaponry, it would be smarter for you to stay out of my way," Shinji replies just as the Evas were dropped clear of their transports, the massive flying wings jumping into the sky with the sudden loss in mass.
The drop was a smooth one in comparison to the rocket jump against Shamshel or the sub-orbital death dive against Ramiel. Controlled and with no enemy fire to worry about, both Evas fell serenely from the sky before firing their temporary boosters a hundred metres off the ground and then landing relatively softly at the edge of the beach where the Angel was predicted to emerge.
Ejecting the spent boosters, both Evas waited as service vehicles brought them umbilical cables and their weaponry. Shinji picked up a bolter and several magazines of spare ammo while the missile pods on Unit 01's shoulders were loaded up with a selection of missiles, primarily oversized variants of the Hellfire anti-tank missiles and a nasty thing that detonated into a cone of white phosphorous flechettes that would have been banned by international treaty in any other use. He also had two thermobaric missiles in case he needed to cause a really big explosion.
The new "headdress" was actually a sophisticated targeting suite that also served as a shield against the back blast of the missiles. It limited the motion of the head, especially with the missile pods attached, but it also gave near 360 degree sensor coverage, so this was an acceptable loss.
Asuka already had a set of retractable prog claws equipped as a back-up weapon, but from one of the service vehicles she picked up a sleek looking prog spear. With her now well decorated Eva, she truly did look like some Bronze Age Titan ready to open a can of whoop ass on anyone who doubted her divinity. That or a World Eater ready to open a can of "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" on anything she was pointed at. With Asuka the delineation between the two was a bit fuzzy since everything seemed to doubt her divinity.
Out in the water, the Angel emerged, wading forward through the surf, flanked on either side by ruined buildings. It was a dull grey colour, somewhat similar in shape to Sachiel, if significantly more simian in the build of its arms and legs, and much more of a barrel chest. Instead of the plague mask or the crimson core, it had a strange ying-yang symbol off to one side.
Shinji immediately narrowed his eyes as his senses tested the Angel. Something… something was wrong with this one. It was… it was not right.
"Cover me Third Child!" Asuka suddenly announced as she launched forward, screaming "Charge!"
"Son of a!" Shinji cries out before opening up with his bolter to give Asuka some covering fire. The enormous munitions streak forward… and impact against its AT-field.
I neutralized that! Unless…
Leaping from building to building, Asuka took one final leap through the air to neatly bisect the Seventh Angel from head to groin, splitting it in two.
"There! Combat should be clean, simple, and elegant, don't you think?" Asuka says.
"You didn't hit the core! It could still be alive," Shinji cries out while trying to probe at the creature with his mind and AT-field. It was strange… almost as if…
Asuka did not have time to respond as the two halves abruptly transformed into two smaller versions of the Angel, one green with orange highlights and the other orange with green highlights, each with its own core.
Fuck!
Shinji opened up with his bolter and a several Hellfire missiles on the one Angel he had a good bead on, but the opposite one threw up an AT-field and the weapons exploded harmlessly. The one Shinji had been targeting used the confusion to leap upon Asuka, its claws slicing through her spear in a single stroke.
It really wasn't a fair fight, two against one when they covered their backs so perfectly. Shinji decided to change the tune of the dance a little.
"Asuka, get on the building to your right," Shinji orders.
"Busy here!" Asuka shouts out.
"Damn it! Okay, listen to me! Get on the building to your left then! I need to break their formation before they cut you apart," Shinji cries out.
For just a second Asuka was about to ignore him again, but he was using that voice that demanded attention and compliance. Before she had even fully thought about it, she was moving. Shinji then screamed, "JUMP NOW!"
Asuka leapt off the abandoned building almost as quickly as she had arrived, and the green half of the Angel leapt up after her, just in time for both of Unit 01's thermobaric missiles to punch through the outer walls and detonate. The fifteen year old wreck exploded in a shower of shrapnel and collapsed beneath the Angel's feet, toppling it over.
The other half had been using Asuka as a shield from Shinji while covering its partner with its AT-field. The sudden change in the battlefield caused it to suddenly be under the sights of Unit 01 and the incoming barrage of bolter rounds and missiles. One arm was sawn off by explosions, its entire front side was set ablaze by the white phosphorous missiles, and best of all, and its core was blown to scrap by the concentrated fire.
"YOU SHOT AT ME!" Asuka cried out. This unfortunately gave the second half enough time to recover from the rubble and assume a defensive position while its core flashed brilliantly for a moment.
There was an explosion of tumorous activity upon the silent half, and before a proper response could be mounted it had a fresh, intact core.
Shinji could see what was coming. Not because of precognition, or even pattern recognition though. He could see what was coming because somehow the Angel had managed to twist its masks into a look of extreme annoyance, or at least that was the impression Shinji got, although he couldn't quite confirm that they had actually changed at all.
This… this was going to hurt.
---
Asuka was very, very quiet right now. This was because even with half his face wrapped in bandages, Shinji had a glare that would make the Death Star back off. He did not get angry easily, and he could control it very well as evidenced by his cool competence during the battle, but now that the immediate danger had passed, he let his infinite displeasure be known without saying a word.
The Vice Commander had been planning on chewing them out, but just looking at Shinji made him back off. Fuyutsuki had heard of the confrontation between father and son at the hospital when he had first arrived, and he knew that the boy was not one who would back down from his word lightly. So long as he was in a military situation, he would act with the utmost professionalism. He knew what had gone wrong, and who had screwed up, but he wasn't going to point fingers, not now.
Sighing, Fuyutsuki just lets the pictures speak for him, of both Evas implanted in the earth by the Angel, then of the UN engaging with an N2 mine, and finally of the now reunited Angel looking half dead at the centre of the crater.
"After the N2 mine hit, 28 of the Seventh Angel's mass was burned off, but unfortunately it has now erected an AT-field sufficiently strong to repel further such attacks. The power expenditure is slowing its regeneration, but we estimate that within six days it will be fully healed and restored," Fuyutsuki says.
"Then within six days we had best sort out our coordination problems," Shinji replies coldly, having deigned to speak for the first time since he was taken out of his entry plug, his body covered in bruises.
"YOU SHOT AT ME!" Asuka shouted, pulling out the only thing she could use against him.
"I shot at a position where you were located at the time the missiles left their tubes, yes. However, I trusted you to heed my warning, just as you should have trusted me to know what I was doing," Shinji says bitterly.
"Silence both of you," Fuyutsuki says angrily but without raising his voice. Raising his voice would probably unnecessarily escalate the situation. "What is your mission?"
"Piloting Eva?" Asuka asks in confusion.
"Wrong," Shinji states with absolute certainty. "Our mission is to kill the Angels. We are to do it with maximum prejudice. We are to maim and eviscerate and impale and take their heads as trophies. We are to do all sorts of horrible things to them. But they are all incidental to the fact that the reason we do such things is to make the enemy dead. Dead, dead, dead! Piloting the Evas are the same concept, that we pilot them is a means to an end, with that end being the crucified, torched bodies of our enemies with their heads on pikes, if necessary to ensure they will not stand back up."
A deathly quiet settled over the room at Shinji's announcement. The words coming out of his mouth were barbaric, but they were utterly true. This was a struggle for survival against inhuman forces. Any and all measures against them were justified. Including sticking adolescents in giant cybernetic organisms that caused physical and mental strain and then shoving them head first onto the frontlines.
Asuka looked hurt, but she could tell that Shinji wasn't joking around anymore. She had screwed up and cost them the battle and everyone was mad at her… she… she…
She ran from the room.
---
Shinji arrived back at the apartment before the movers arrived and well before Misato retrieved the distraught Asuka, who had holed up in one of the change rooms in a state of severe emotional distress.
When the two women arrived back, he was deep in meditation, plotting his next moves. He was furious and on the edge of control, something he wasn't used to dealing with. He was used to letting his grievances simmer, he was used to being calm, the eye of the storm.
When they had retrieved him from his Eva, he was one comment away from grabbing Asuka by her throat, lifting her off her feet, and screaming at her. It would have been so easy too… but he had held off. The situation was not unsalvageable, and truth be told he had not being managing it well. He had let himself be caught up in his own scenario, gaining short term satisfaction at pushing Asuka's buttons while neglecting the more long term shaping of her psyche into a more useful instrument.
Annoying her still had its place, but Shinji needed to be more careful. He kept over-estimating her emotional resilience because he had done insufficient observation of her person.
And worst of all, he had thus far neglected to try to convert her to Chaos. She would be incredible no matter what god she followed, but if she could be taught to properly channel and control all of her wrath, she would be magnificent as a follower of Khorne. She just needed to be taught the other aspects of the war god or she would be useless. She needed to learn honour, discipline, and martial pride in addition to her anger.
But first Shinji needed to learn the source of her anger. He needed to find the root of that raw nerve of emotion.
When the two of them arrived at the apartment, Shinji did not rise from his position, but rather simply asked from his room, "She will be living with us, won't she?"
"Yes, you two need to learn to work together as a team," Misato says.
"What?" Asuka cries out. "After the age of seven boys and girls should not be living under the same roof!"
Gritting his teeth, Shinji swallows his anger with her and rises from his meditative position and picks up a duffel bag and leaves his room to confront Asuka in the hallway, grabbing her by the wrist and hauling her off, saying with arctic chill, "Come, we must talk."
Asuka was suddenly too terrified to protest.
Misato just sighed and shook her head. There had been a fight brewing all day, and she trusted Shinji not to do something stupid. They had to get it out in the open now, before things had time to fester and rot and then explode in a shower of vitriol at the worst possible moment.
Misato did the only thing she could. She grabbed a beer.
Meanwhile, up on the roof of the apartment, Shinji had a large open space marked out that he typically used for training. Throwing the duffel bag to the side, he lets go of Asuka's hand and unzips it and pulls out two wooden practice weapons. Specifically, they were wooden practice axes.
Tossing one at Asuka's feet, Shinji says, "We're going to play a little game Asuka, called Ten to One. If I can beat you ten times in a row, you owe me a favour, but if can beat me once then I owe you a favour. So go ahead, pick up the axe and test your strength against mine."
Asuka just gaped at him. This was what he brought her up here for? What was he, stu…?
Asuka's train of thought was derailed by Shinji abruptly closing the distance between the two of them, the "blade" of his weapon resting upon her throat. Despite the injuries that covered his body and the lack of depth perception, he seemed to be barely slowed down.
"One," he says simply.
"Hey! I wasn't ready!" Asuka cries out.
"Do the Angels care?" Shinji asks while withdrawing and letting her pick up the weapon at her feet.
Once again he exploded into action, knocking the axe out of her hand with one swipe and then resting the blade against her throat again, this time on the opposite side as before.
"Two."
"I wasn't ready!" Asuka screeches, tears in her eyes.
Shinji just stares at her.
"Forget this!" Asuka screams before trying to run off, only to be intercepted by Shinji, one leg hooked by his axe such that she was suddenly on her back, the blade once again at her throat.
"Three. We're not done yet," Shinji replies.
"Leave me alone!" Asuka screams, trying to crawl away.
"Why should I?" Shinji says, staring contemptuously down at her. "Did the Angels let me escape the fight?"
Silence.
"Four."
Silence.
"Five. You're pathetic. Ayanami would still be fighting at this point. She does not give up," Shinji states.
Silence.
"Six. What are you? Are you a doll, an inanimate object shaped like a human being?" Shinji asks her contemptuously.
Snap.
Asuka screamed and hurled herself at him, Germanic obscenities spilling from her lips while tears tumbled from her eyes. For her trouble she got whacked in the gut and then shoved back to the ground, the wooden edge resting against her neck once more.
"Seven."
But this time she would not accept it lying down. Scrambling away, she picked up the other axe and clutching it in a two handed death grip, charged. In her blind rage, she would probably break bones if she actually connected. Not that she would.
Effortlessly side-stepping her charge, Shinji dodges her wild swipes before punching her in the solar plexus, knocking her to the ground with the wind taken from her. Once more the axe rested on her neck.
"Eight."
Once she had her breath back, Asuka growls at him, "You cheated."
"Who ever said that this fight was just with axes?" Shinji asks mockingly.
The next time she attacked, he didn't even use his axe, instead he just flowed around her defences and slapped her across the face, then tossed her, then kicked her in the right kidney when she was down, then flipped her onto her stomach when she curled up in pain, before pinning her to the ground with a knee on her back. The axe finally rested on the back of her neck.
"Nine."
Shinji then stood up and walked several paces away, before dropping his axe in front of him, taking a step away, and then dropping to one knee, hands to the side and on the ground, his head bowed and neck exposed.
Coughing, Asuka struggled to her feet and then looked at him kneeling there before her. She asked, "What are you doing?"
"We are now both one fight away from victory. All you have to do is rest your axe upon my neck and you win. You can request that we never do this again. In fact, you could probably strike me hard enough that I might die in an 'accident' and then your problems would be solved, no? No more taunting, no more humiliation, no more me upstaging you, and no one would make you pay for it. They need you too badly, especially with me out of the picture. It could all end here, and your life would be back to perfect the way it was before," Shinji says invitingly.
Asuka hesitated. On the one hand, she did indeed wanted to lash out, to strike him down, but she also…
"Ten."
She had not even seen him move, and yet somehow he had picked up his axe, stood up, and cleared the distance between them in an instant. Asuka fell down in shock and surprise.
In the waning light of the day, Shinji was haloed from behind by the setting sun, his face shadowed into total obscurity, but his hair burned like some sort of terrible demon as he gazed down at her.
"But your life was not perfect before, was it? I am not the monster that comes charging in to destroy your idyllic world, to replace it with one filled with pain and ruin. I am the monster that tears down your idyllic illusion, to remind you that you live in a world of pain and ruin. Life is pain. Life is suffering. Who we are is defined by how we deal with it," Shinji tells her angrily.
Asuka could only stare up at him in mute horror.
"Rei… Rei was practically inanimate when I first met her. I do not know what abuses were heaped upon her, she would not tell me, but she has grown to accept all that pain in her life. She has learned to simply endure all the slings and arrows life has to throw at her, shrug it off, and live the way she wishes.
"Misato has pain in her life too; you can see it in the way she drinks, the way she acts. She distracts herself from her pain. She throws herself into activities to forget what it is that hurts her. Sometimes it is alcohol and sex; sometimes it is being a military commander."
Shinji takes a deep breath and then says, "But you and I are not like either of them, and that is why we do not get along. When something causes us pain, we seek to change the situation. You… you get angry. You seek to dominate, intimidate, or destroy those things around you that cause you pain through sheer force of will and strength, and it must be done immediately. I get even. I manipulate, control, and convert at my own pace, once I have full control over the situation. I will ruin something only if it suits me, if I feel the pain inflicted upon me is worth it.
"And I have such pain Asuka, such pain, but I will keep it for now. For you though, you owe me a favour for my victory. Tell me of your pain Asuka. Tell me honestly, tell me fully," Shinji demands, crouching down to fill her vision.
"I… I… never agreed to this," Asuka says in terror. Terror of Shinji, terror of telling her secrets.
"We rarely agree to the things that hurt us. So either defeat me, prove that you are worthy of keeping your pain secret, or show some honour in defeat and give me that which I ask," Shinji says at just above a whisper.
Only the wind and their breathing answered him.
"TELL ME!" Shinji roared next to her face.
"Momma died!" Asuka shrieked, clutching her head in agony and shame.
There is a pause before Shinji says, "So? Everyone in our class at school has a dead mother. Including me."
This revelation was like a slap in the face to Asuka, who looked up at Shinji through tear stained eyes, seeing him in a new light.
"So that cannot be all of your pain. Tell me everything, tell me the how and the why," Shinji says softly.
"Momma… momma worked for GEHIRN… they… they were the group before… before… before NERV. She… she… she was in an… an… an… accident," Asuka sobs out.
Shinji twitched at that, but even he didn't know why really. There was an old memory in there somewhere, inaccessible like a chunk of metal embedded in his flesh that had become trapped there as a scar formed over it. It would take major surgery to extract, something he could not do at the moment.
And Asuka was not done speaking.
"She… she… she… she went… went… crazy! She didn't… didn't… die… right away. She… she… she… she… she… she thought a… a… doll was me! She didn't see me as her daughter! She hung herself and I was the one who found her!" Asuka screams
Shinji went deathly silent for a moment before he demanded, "What division was she in?"
"She… she was one of… one of… the primary designers… designers of the Evas," Asuka stutters out.
There was a flash of pain in Shinji's head as the suppressed memory scratched against his mind, that piece of embedded metal grinding against bone now. He suppressed his own suffering for the moment and simply held Asuka as she cried. As she settled down, Shinji asked quietly, "So what happened next?"
"I… I had to prove I wasn't a doll… that I was good enough… I… I threw myself into piloting Eva… it's everything… it's all I have! And… and… and you're taking it away!" Asuka cries out.
Still holding her close, Shinji says, "No… no. I cannot take that away from you, only you can. I made a mistake earlier today. You and I, we are different. I am cast from the mould of a soldier. For me, fighting is a living, a means to an end. You… you are a warrior, for whom fighting is life. You carry conflict with you wherever you go."
He kissed her on the forehead and she did not flinch away from the contact, and then said, "We must learn to work together. You must learn to accept my brutal, sneaky, underhanded ways, and I must learn to accept your passionate, headstrong ways. We can complement one another wonderfully and make the battlefield our dance floor. The Evas were made to fight the Angels, so your mother died fighting them. If not for them, you would be home in Germany, going to school like a normal girl and your mother would still be around tuck you in at night. Hate them. Hate them for all they have stolen from you. Let all your sorrow turn to wrath, and if your breast be a cannon, shoot your burning heart at them. We shall make their blood flow, and we shall stack their skulls into a grand throne that shall let all know of your victory over your pain."
Rising, Shinji offers a hand for Asuka to take, to symbolically rise from her sorrow. For so many years, she had been raging against a cruel fate, pushing others away to keep from being hurt while simultaneously demanding attention. And now the one person she had ever feared would take away everything she had was telling her to keep raging, to keep fighting, and he would stand with her. He would stand with her and make all that had pained her suffer for their offences.
She took his hand.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Warhammer 40,000 or Neon Genesis Evangelion.
To read the entire “New Chaos” series, go to http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1443555/Academia_Nut
ANANANANANAN
There was an Angel approaching from the ocean, which was reasonable as every one of the bastards had approached from the ocean. Unfortunately for NERV, and somewhat fortunately for anyone owning property in Tokyo-3, the city was still being repaired after the last battle had left it in a state best described as "not fit for another damn battle".
So Units 01 and 02 were being deployed for intercept. Unit 00 was being left behind as reserve, partly because it was still being repaired, partly because they didn't have any spare lifting craft after crashing their primary one into Ramiel to act as cover for Shinji's assault on the octahedral Angel.
"We're going to do this by the book okay? Shinji, you have the lower synch ratio, so you're assigned to fire support. Engage at range so that we can ascertain its capacities. Asuka, with your higher synch ratio and more thorough training, you're assigned to close range combat. Wait for Shinji to finish his ranged strike then if appropriate close in to engage. Be prepared to break off if things get too hot," Misato instructs the pilots from the command van while they fly overhead towards the intercept point.
"Damn it, my debut battle over Japan, and instead of being allowed to do it solo I'm stuck with you," Asuka complains.
Popping up a holographic display, Shinji stares at Asuka coldly and responds, "Our mission is not to fight the enemy, it is to kill the enemy, quickly, cleanly, and efficiently. Two Evas can achieve all three better than one."
"Just stay out of my way Third Child," Asuka growls at the projection.
"Considering that I'll be the one behind you with the heavy weaponry, it would be smarter for you to stay out of my way," Shinji replies just as the Evas were dropped clear of their transports, the massive flying wings jumping into the sky with the sudden loss in mass.
The drop was a smooth one in comparison to the rocket jump against Shamshel or the sub-orbital death dive against Ramiel. Controlled and with no enemy fire to worry about, both Evas fell serenely from the sky before firing their temporary boosters a hundred metres off the ground and then landing relatively softly at the edge of the beach where the Angel was predicted to emerge.
Ejecting the spent boosters, both Evas waited as service vehicles brought them umbilical cables and their weaponry. Shinji picked up a bolter and several magazines of spare ammo while the missile pods on Unit 01's shoulders were loaded up with a selection of missiles, primarily oversized variants of the Hellfire anti-tank missiles and a nasty thing that detonated into a cone of white phosphorous flechettes that would have been banned by international treaty in any other use. He also had two thermobaric missiles in case he needed to cause a really big explosion.
The new "headdress" was actually a sophisticated targeting suite that also served as a shield against the back blast of the missiles. It limited the motion of the head, especially with the missile pods attached, but it also gave near 360 degree sensor coverage, so this was an acceptable loss.
Asuka already had a set of retractable prog claws equipped as a back-up weapon, but from one of the service vehicles she picked up a sleek looking prog spear. With her now well decorated Eva, she truly did look like some Bronze Age Titan ready to open a can of whoop ass on anyone who doubted her divinity. That or a World Eater ready to open a can of "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" on anything she was pointed at. With Asuka the delineation between the two was a bit fuzzy since everything seemed to doubt her divinity.
Out in the water, the Angel emerged, wading forward through the surf, flanked on either side by ruined buildings. It was a dull grey colour, somewhat similar in shape to Sachiel, if significantly more simian in the build of its arms and legs, and much more of a barrel chest. Instead of the plague mask or the crimson core, it had a strange ying-yang symbol off to one side.
Shinji immediately narrowed his eyes as his senses tested the Angel. Something… something was wrong with this one. It was… it was not right.
"Cover me Third Child!" Asuka suddenly announced as she launched forward, screaming "Charge!"
"Son of a!" Shinji cries out before opening up with his bolter to give Asuka some covering fire. The enormous munitions streak forward… and impact against its AT-field.
I neutralized that! Unless…
Leaping from building to building, Asuka took one final leap through the air to neatly bisect the Seventh Angel from head to groin, splitting it in two.
"There! Combat should be clean, simple, and elegant, don't you think?" Asuka says.
"You didn't hit the core! It could still be alive," Shinji cries out while trying to probe at the creature with his mind and AT-field. It was strange… almost as if…
Asuka did not have time to respond as the two halves abruptly transformed into two smaller versions of the Angel, one green with orange highlights and the other orange with green highlights, each with its own core.
Fuck!
Shinji opened up with his bolter and a several Hellfire missiles on the one Angel he had a good bead on, but the opposite one threw up an AT-field and the weapons exploded harmlessly. The one Shinji had been targeting used the confusion to leap upon Asuka, its claws slicing through her spear in a single stroke.
It really wasn't a fair fight, two against one when they covered their backs so perfectly. Shinji decided to change the tune of the dance a little.
"Asuka, get on the building to your right," Shinji orders.
"Busy here!" Asuka shouts out.
"Damn it! Okay, listen to me! Get on the building to your left then! I need to break their formation before they cut you apart," Shinji cries out.
For just a second Asuka was about to ignore him again, but he was using that voice that demanded attention and compliance. Before she had even fully thought about it, she was moving. Shinji then screamed, "JUMP NOW!"
Asuka leapt off the abandoned building almost as quickly as she had arrived, and the green half of the Angel leapt up after her, just in time for both of Unit 01's thermobaric missiles to punch through the outer walls and detonate. The fifteen year old wreck exploded in a shower of shrapnel and collapsed beneath the Angel's feet, toppling it over.
The other half had been using Asuka as a shield from Shinji while covering its partner with its AT-field. The sudden change in the battlefield caused it to suddenly be under the sights of Unit 01 and the incoming barrage of bolter rounds and missiles. One arm was sawn off by explosions, its entire front side was set ablaze by the white phosphorous missiles, and best of all, and its core was blown to scrap by the concentrated fire.
"YOU SHOT AT ME!" Asuka cried out. This unfortunately gave the second half enough time to recover from the rubble and assume a defensive position while its core flashed brilliantly for a moment.
There was an explosion of tumorous activity upon the silent half, and before a proper response could be mounted it had a fresh, intact core.
Shinji could see what was coming. Not because of precognition, or even pattern recognition though. He could see what was coming because somehow the Angel had managed to twist its masks into a look of extreme annoyance, or at least that was the impression Shinji got, although he couldn't quite confirm that they had actually changed at all.
This… this was going to hurt.
---
Asuka was very, very quiet right now. This was because even with half his face wrapped in bandages, Shinji had a glare that would make the Death Star back off. He did not get angry easily, and he could control it very well as evidenced by his cool competence during the battle, but now that the immediate danger had passed, he let his infinite displeasure be known without saying a word.
The Vice Commander had been planning on chewing them out, but just looking at Shinji made him back off. Fuyutsuki had heard of the confrontation between father and son at the hospital when he had first arrived, and he knew that the boy was not one who would back down from his word lightly. So long as he was in a military situation, he would act with the utmost professionalism. He knew what had gone wrong, and who had screwed up, but he wasn't going to point fingers, not now.
Sighing, Fuyutsuki just lets the pictures speak for him, of both Evas implanted in the earth by the Angel, then of the UN engaging with an N2 mine, and finally of the now reunited Angel looking half dead at the centre of the crater.
"After the N2 mine hit, 28 of the Seventh Angel's mass was burned off, but unfortunately it has now erected an AT-field sufficiently strong to repel further such attacks. The power expenditure is slowing its regeneration, but we estimate that within six days it will be fully healed and restored," Fuyutsuki says.
"Then within six days we had best sort out our coordination problems," Shinji replies coldly, having deigned to speak for the first time since he was taken out of his entry plug, his body covered in bruises.
"YOU SHOT AT ME!" Asuka shouted, pulling out the only thing she could use against him.
"I shot at a position where you were located at the time the missiles left their tubes, yes. However, I trusted you to heed my warning, just as you should have trusted me to know what I was doing," Shinji says bitterly.
"Silence both of you," Fuyutsuki says angrily but without raising his voice. Raising his voice would probably unnecessarily escalate the situation. "What is your mission?"
"Piloting Eva?" Asuka asks in confusion.
"Wrong," Shinji states with absolute certainty. "Our mission is to kill the Angels. We are to do it with maximum prejudice. We are to maim and eviscerate and impale and take their heads as trophies. We are to do all sorts of horrible things to them. But they are all incidental to the fact that the reason we do such things is to make the enemy dead. Dead, dead, dead! Piloting the Evas are the same concept, that we pilot them is a means to an end, with that end being the crucified, torched bodies of our enemies with their heads on pikes, if necessary to ensure they will not stand back up."
A deathly quiet settled over the room at Shinji's announcement. The words coming out of his mouth were barbaric, but they were utterly true. This was a struggle for survival against inhuman forces. Any and all measures against them were justified. Including sticking adolescents in giant cybernetic organisms that caused physical and mental strain and then shoving them head first onto the frontlines.
Asuka looked hurt, but she could tell that Shinji wasn't joking around anymore. She had screwed up and cost them the battle and everyone was mad at her… she… she…
She ran from the room.
---
Shinji arrived back at the apartment before the movers arrived and well before Misato retrieved the distraught Asuka, who had holed up in one of the change rooms in a state of severe emotional distress.
When the two women arrived back, he was deep in meditation, plotting his next moves. He was furious and on the edge of control, something he wasn't used to dealing with. He was used to letting his grievances simmer, he was used to being calm, the eye of the storm.
When they had retrieved him from his Eva, he was one comment away from grabbing Asuka by her throat, lifting her off her feet, and screaming at her. It would have been so easy too… but he had held off. The situation was not unsalvageable, and truth be told he had not being managing it well. He had let himself be caught up in his own scenario, gaining short term satisfaction at pushing Asuka's buttons while neglecting the more long term shaping of her psyche into a more useful instrument.
Annoying her still had its place, but Shinji needed to be more careful. He kept over-estimating her emotional resilience because he had done insufficient observation of her person.
And worst of all, he had thus far neglected to try to convert her to Chaos. She would be incredible no matter what god she followed, but if she could be taught to properly channel and control all of her wrath, she would be magnificent as a follower of Khorne. She just needed to be taught the other aspects of the war god or she would be useless. She needed to learn honour, discipline, and martial pride in addition to her anger.
But first Shinji needed to learn the source of her anger. He needed to find the root of that raw nerve of emotion.
When the two of them arrived at the apartment, Shinji did not rise from his position, but rather simply asked from his room, "She will be living with us, won't she?"
"Yes, you two need to learn to work together as a team," Misato says.
"What?" Asuka cries out. "After the age of seven boys and girls should not be living under the same roof!"
Gritting his teeth, Shinji swallows his anger with her and rises from his meditative position and picks up a duffel bag and leaves his room to confront Asuka in the hallway, grabbing her by the wrist and hauling her off, saying with arctic chill, "Come, we must talk."
Asuka was suddenly too terrified to protest.
Misato just sighed and shook her head. There had been a fight brewing all day, and she trusted Shinji not to do something stupid. They had to get it out in the open now, before things had time to fester and rot and then explode in a shower of vitriol at the worst possible moment.
Misato did the only thing she could. She grabbed a beer.
Meanwhile, up on the roof of the apartment, Shinji had a large open space marked out that he typically used for training. Throwing the duffel bag to the side, he lets go of Asuka's hand and unzips it and pulls out two wooden practice weapons. Specifically, they were wooden practice axes.
Tossing one at Asuka's feet, Shinji says, "We're going to play a little game Asuka, called Ten to One. If I can beat you ten times in a row, you owe me a favour, but if can beat me once then I owe you a favour. So go ahead, pick up the axe and test your strength against mine."
Asuka just gaped at him. This was what he brought her up here for? What was he, stu…?
Asuka's train of thought was derailed by Shinji abruptly closing the distance between the two of them, the "blade" of his weapon resting upon her throat. Despite the injuries that covered his body and the lack of depth perception, he seemed to be barely slowed down.
"One," he says simply.
"Hey! I wasn't ready!" Asuka cries out.
"Do the Angels care?" Shinji asks while withdrawing and letting her pick up the weapon at her feet.
Once again he exploded into action, knocking the axe out of her hand with one swipe and then resting the blade against her throat again, this time on the opposite side as before.
"Two."
"I wasn't ready!" Asuka screeches, tears in her eyes.
Shinji just stares at her.
"Forget this!" Asuka screams before trying to run off, only to be intercepted by Shinji, one leg hooked by his axe such that she was suddenly on her back, the blade once again at her throat.
"Three. We're not done yet," Shinji replies.
"Leave me alone!" Asuka screams, trying to crawl away.
"Why should I?" Shinji says, staring contemptuously down at her. "Did the Angels let me escape the fight?"
Silence.
"Four."
Silence.
"Five. You're pathetic. Ayanami would still be fighting at this point. She does not give up," Shinji states.
Silence.
"Six. What are you? Are you a doll, an inanimate object shaped like a human being?" Shinji asks her contemptuously.
Snap.
Asuka screamed and hurled herself at him, Germanic obscenities spilling from her lips while tears tumbled from her eyes. For her trouble she got whacked in the gut and then shoved back to the ground, the wooden edge resting against her neck once more.
"Seven."
But this time she would not accept it lying down. Scrambling away, she picked up the other axe and clutching it in a two handed death grip, charged. In her blind rage, she would probably break bones if she actually connected. Not that she would.
Effortlessly side-stepping her charge, Shinji dodges her wild swipes before punching her in the solar plexus, knocking her to the ground with the wind taken from her. Once more the axe rested on her neck.
"Eight."
Once she had her breath back, Asuka growls at him, "You cheated."
"Who ever said that this fight was just with axes?" Shinji asks mockingly.
The next time she attacked, he didn't even use his axe, instead he just flowed around her defences and slapped her across the face, then tossed her, then kicked her in the right kidney when she was down, then flipped her onto her stomach when she curled up in pain, before pinning her to the ground with a knee on her back. The axe finally rested on the back of her neck.
"Nine."
Shinji then stood up and walked several paces away, before dropping his axe in front of him, taking a step away, and then dropping to one knee, hands to the side and on the ground, his head bowed and neck exposed.
Coughing, Asuka struggled to her feet and then looked at him kneeling there before her. She asked, "What are you doing?"
"We are now both one fight away from victory. All you have to do is rest your axe upon my neck and you win. You can request that we never do this again. In fact, you could probably strike me hard enough that I might die in an 'accident' and then your problems would be solved, no? No more taunting, no more humiliation, no more me upstaging you, and no one would make you pay for it. They need you too badly, especially with me out of the picture. It could all end here, and your life would be back to perfect the way it was before," Shinji says invitingly.
Asuka hesitated. On the one hand, she did indeed wanted to lash out, to strike him down, but she also…
"Ten."
She had not even seen him move, and yet somehow he had picked up his axe, stood up, and cleared the distance between them in an instant. Asuka fell down in shock and surprise.
In the waning light of the day, Shinji was haloed from behind by the setting sun, his face shadowed into total obscurity, but his hair burned like some sort of terrible demon as he gazed down at her.
"But your life was not perfect before, was it? I am not the monster that comes charging in to destroy your idyllic world, to replace it with one filled with pain and ruin. I am the monster that tears down your idyllic illusion, to remind you that you live in a world of pain and ruin. Life is pain. Life is suffering. Who we are is defined by how we deal with it," Shinji tells her angrily.
Asuka could only stare up at him in mute horror.
"Rei… Rei was practically inanimate when I first met her. I do not know what abuses were heaped upon her, she would not tell me, but she has grown to accept all that pain in her life. She has learned to simply endure all the slings and arrows life has to throw at her, shrug it off, and live the way she wishes.
"Misato has pain in her life too; you can see it in the way she drinks, the way she acts. She distracts herself from her pain. She throws herself into activities to forget what it is that hurts her. Sometimes it is alcohol and sex; sometimes it is being a military commander."
Shinji takes a deep breath and then says, "But you and I are not like either of them, and that is why we do not get along. When something causes us pain, we seek to change the situation. You… you get angry. You seek to dominate, intimidate, or destroy those things around you that cause you pain through sheer force of will and strength, and it must be done immediately. I get even. I manipulate, control, and convert at my own pace, once I have full control over the situation. I will ruin something only if it suits me, if I feel the pain inflicted upon me is worth it.
"And I have such pain Asuka, such pain, but I will keep it for now. For you though, you owe me a favour for my victory. Tell me of your pain Asuka. Tell me honestly, tell me fully," Shinji demands, crouching down to fill her vision.
"I… I… never agreed to this," Asuka says in terror. Terror of Shinji, terror of telling her secrets.
"We rarely agree to the things that hurt us. So either defeat me, prove that you are worthy of keeping your pain secret, or show some honour in defeat and give me that which I ask," Shinji says at just above a whisper.
Only the wind and their breathing answered him.
"TELL ME!" Shinji roared next to her face.
"Momma died!" Asuka shrieked, clutching her head in agony and shame.
There is a pause before Shinji says, "So? Everyone in our class at school has a dead mother. Including me."
This revelation was like a slap in the face to Asuka, who looked up at Shinji through tear stained eyes, seeing him in a new light.
"So that cannot be all of your pain. Tell me everything, tell me the how and the why," Shinji says softly.
"Momma… momma worked for GEHIRN… they… they were the group before… before… before NERV. She… she… she was in an… an… an… accident," Asuka sobs out.
Shinji twitched at that, but even he didn't know why really. There was an old memory in there somewhere, inaccessible like a chunk of metal embedded in his flesh that had become trapped there as a scar formed over it. It would take major surgery to extract, something he could not do at the moment.
And Asuka was not done speaking.
"She… she… she… she went… went… crazy! She didn't… didn't… die… right away. She… she… she… she… she… she thought a… a… doll was me! She didn't see me as her daughter! She hung herself and I was the one who found her!" Asuka screams
Shinji went deathly silent for a moment before he demanded, "What division was she in?"
"She… she was one of… one of… the primary designers… designers of the Evas," Asuka stutters out.
There was a flash of pain in Shinji's head as the suppressed memory scratched against his mind, that piece of embedded metal grinding against bone now. He suppressed his own suffering for the moment and simply held Asuka as she cried. As she settled down, Shinji asked quietly, "So what happened next?"
"I… I had to prove I wasn't a doll… that I was good enough… I… I threw myself into piloting Eva… it's everything… it's all I have! And… and… and you're taking it away!" Asuka cries out.
Still holding her close, Shinji says, "No… no. I cannot take that away from you, only you can. I made a mistake earlier today. You and I, we are different. I am cast from the mould of a soldier. For me, fighting is a living, a means to an end. You… you are a warrior, for whom fighting is life. You carry conflict with you wherever you go."
He kissed her on the forehead and she did not flinch away from the contact, and then said, "We must learn to work together. You must learn to accept my brutal, sneaky, underhanded ways, and I must learn to accept your passionate, headstrong ways. We can complement one another wonderfully and make the battlefield our dance floor. The Evas were made to fight the Angels, so your mother died fighting them. If not for them, you would be home in Germany, going to school like a normal girl and your mother would still be around tuck you in at night. Hate them. Hate them for all they have stolen from you. Let all your sorrow turn to wrath, and if your breast be a cannon, shoot your burning heart at them. We shall make their blood flow, and we shall stack their skulls into a grand throne that shall let all know of your victory over your pain."
Rising, Shinji offers a hand for Asuka to take, to symbolically rise from her sorrow. For so many years, she had been raging against a cruel fate, pushing others away to keep from being hurt while simultaneously demanding attention. And now the one person she had ever feared would take away everything she had was telling her to keep raging, to keep fighting, and he would stand with her. He would stand with her and make all that had pained her suffer for their offences.
She took his hand.
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