FicWad

I felt awkward among the Kokiri kids as I walked around a bit. I felt extremely uncomfortable and these stupid flying things kept making me sneeze. They were yellow and floated in the air whenever I stood still. It got real annoying rather quickly. I was starting to dread this mission and decided that I would definitely punch Mario the next time I saw him.
But it suddenly came to mind that I might never see him again…
This feeling suddenly became heavy on my chest and I started to panic. It was probably my anxiety weighing down on me. I suddenly had no idea how this was going to work or how I was going to save a whole kingdom from whatever it was I needed to save it from.
Oh God, I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be fighting with, I thought suddenly.
This abrupt thought came smashing inside my brain and caused all my chemicals to go nuts. It caused me to collapse and I began to cry wildly. Or rather, I was crying and sneezing because those damn yellow balls were going in my nose again. But that didn’t matter because I was pathetic enough. I was the chosen one who ended up failing. I’d never read a story about a kid that was a chosen hero and failed for what they were born to do.
And guess what? I wasn’t even born to do this damn job.
When I looked up, all the Kokiris were standing in place, smiling and playing with the little flying yellow balls.
Pathetic, I thought and I just kept crying.
“My dear, why are you crying?” a deep voice asked.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and dried my eyes. That hand belonged to a very big man who was kneeling behind me. He had dark green skin and bright red hair. His skin was so green that I thought he was a zombie or something, but I was too upset to freak out. After I have a breakdown, I would become numb and lethargic, so I felt absolutely nothing.
“I’m lost,” I said like a baby.
“Hmm, we are all, my dear,” he said. “What is your name?”
“Ash,” I said.
“That’s a rather odd name for a child here in Hyrule,” the man said. He lifted me up and brushed off my clothes. He reached for my face and dried any remaining tears. His hands felt dry and rough, which wasn’t too comforting. “You’re also dressed weird too. Are you from around here?”
“I’m from Ohio,” I said.
“Where’s Ohio?” he asked. He had this confused look on his face.
“Ohio’s a state in the U.S.A.”
“Yousa? I have never heard of such a place.”
“Forget…Yousa,” I said, realizing that I was in an entirely different dimension. “What’s your name?”
The man stood up proudly and boasted, “My name is Ganondorf Dragmire, king of the Gerudo thieves.”
“Sounds cool, I guess. Anyway, what are you doing here?”
Ganondorf messed with his gloves and said, “I had some unfinished business to attend to is all. And speaking of unfinished business, I need to get out of here really quick. I have more affairs to attend to. It’s been nice meeting you, my dear. If you ever need anything, I’m sure I’ll be at the Hyrule castle.” He smirked at me and started to walk away.
I watched him walk, the green skinned freak. Something told me I would meet him again, but I wasn’t sure if it would be a nice meeting or a really bad one. He seemed like a nice guy, honestly, but he was very big and very hairy. My younger brother would always play video games that had big and hairy people in it and that was usually a big red flag for being some evil jerk.
As I pondered this, I suddenly got smacked in the face by some big, glowing ball. This ball thing fell to the ground and jerked around. I picked it up and held it in my hand. It glowed a soft, light blue color, which felt a little warm in my hands. One of those Kokiri kids was going to get it, throwing that thing at me.
“Hey, let go of me,” some squeaking voice said.
I dropped that little ball straightaway. I had no idea what it was, but I knew it had just spoke to me. I thought I was going crazy, which would be an appropriate hypothesis, seeing as I suddenly lived in a world of video games, had conversations with a fox in a fighter spaceship thing, and met Mario, with whom I almost fought with.
The ball flew up and got right in my face, saying, “Look here, you jerk, I’m a fairy and I have just as many rights as you humans do. Maybe I’m a bit bad at flying, but-”
I picked her up by one of her wings and she started to shout, “Hey, let go of me! I have a really big job to do and if I don’t find this kid, Hyrule’s fate will be at stake.”
I stopped asked, “What kid, because I’m looking for one, too.”
“This lost kid named Link. He’s never had a fairy and I’ve been asked to assist him.”
“Where is he?” I asked. Maybe this thing was actually worth something to my journey.
“I can’t tell you, I’ll get in trouble,” the fairy cried.
“I’m supposed to assist him as well,” I said. “My name is Ash Brandt, and I was given orders by Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom to help Link save Hyrule from, well…something.”
“Then let go of me and I’ll show you where he is,” the fairy snapped.
I let go of it and it flied up to my face, sputtering out, “Now, let’s get him.” It took off, but came back and added, “And by the way, my name is Navi.”
“Well, alright then, let’s get to Link, pronto,” I said rather harshly. I wasn’t going to play games with a flying ball of glowing fluff.
We walked to this huge tree house that had a little drawing on it of a small kid fighting a dragon. I found it cute and wanted to look a little longer, but Navi was one step ahead of me; it already flew up into the house.
In front of me was a ladder. I never liked ladders. In fact, I was extremely terrified of them. I touched one of the steps and felt my palms sweating. It wasn’t climbing up the ladder that was my problem, it was getting off the ladder and onto the balcony that was the huge problem. I wasn’t sure what went where or what foot to use first.
I decided I would figure that out when I got to the top of the thing. I was never good at climbing things back at home. I never climbed walls or trees solely because, once I would get to the top, I wouldn’t know how to get down. Like when I was in first grade. I was minding my own business in the bathroom when this fourth grade girl in the bathroom stall beside me told me to stand on the toilet and then stand on the toilet paper dispenser. She was over the top of the stall, guiding me, and I actually got up there, but I didn’t know how to get down, so I started crying until a teacher came to get me.
I couldn’t do that here though, because I knew no one would help me down. Or, well, maybe that Ganondorf man would’ve helped, seeing as he was quite possibly one of the most decent people I had seen so far; albeit shady, but still decent.
Suddenly I found myself there: the top of the ladder. I lifted my left foot slowly, but decided that wasn’t the correct foot. I then tried my right foot and realized that wasn’t right, either. I held on tightly to the two planks of wood at the top as my palms began to sweat. I decided to go back down and just give up, so I used my left foot, but I decided that was a bad move, so I used my right foot instead. Definitely, the right foot was not the way to go.
I stared at the opening to the tree house. I had to get up there to help Link. I decided to use my left foot to get on the platform and didn’t stop, even though it didn’t feel right. The next thing I know is I tripped and my face landed on a soft, leathery surface.
“Um, excuse me,” a voice above me said. “I’m rather glad that you like my boot, but I need to use it to walk and all.”
I stood up quickly and right in front of me was this weird boy, wearing this stupid green tunic and a floppy, green hat that resembled a nightcap. That fairy was floating comfortably around him. The first thing I noticed was that this kid had these piercing blue eyes and messy blonde hair under his floppy hat.
Even though I was taught to use proper manners, the only thing I could find to say was this: “Jesus dude, what the heck are you wearing?”
His expression changed to anger and he snapped, “Well, you should be saying that to yourself.”
This kid was right. I was wearing blue jeans and an orange polo shirt which didn’t seem to be the style in Hyrule. My dirty, black Converse shoes didn’t help, either.
“That doesn’t matter right now,” I said quickly. “Your name’s Link, right?”
“How do you know my name?” he asked. He looked at me like he was trying to figure out whether I was a good guy or bad guy from my appearance. I just hoped that evil guys didn’t wear polo shirts in Hyrule.
“Well, I was sent here by Princess Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom to help you save this place,” I said.
“The Mushroom Kingdom,” Link said. “That’s the place all the way across the ocean”
“Yeah, it is, actually. I’m glad you know your geography. Anyway, my name is Ashley, but you can call me Ash if you want to. I’m supposed to help you do stuff, I guess.”
“Do what?” Link asked.
“Might I interject here,” said Navi. Rather than wait for our response, she got right to it. “Link and Ash, you have been called upon by the Great Deku Tree. Once we get there, he will tell you two of your fates.”
We looked at each other with confused expressions. I was about to say something, but I was interrupted by a small, gentle voice that said, “Oh, good morning, Link.”
I turned around and Link stepped to the side of me to see who it was.
“Oh, morning Saria,” Link called out and I saw his face light up as he waved to her.
Saria was dressed in better looking clothes, but it was still a rather ugly green tunic. She had lime green hair and, even from above, I could see her sparkling blue eyes. That made me ponder whether or not Link and Saria were related. There was probably no connection whatsoever, but I just thought that was bizarre.
“Oh, Link, you finally got yourself a fairy!” Saria said gleefully. “You can now be a true Kokiri child. How about you and your friend come down here and we can chat more. Maybe we should celebrate, too!”
This girl was too peppy for me, but I needed to get down the ladder and talk to her.
“Ladies first,” Link said politely.
“How, uh, sweet,” I said.
Hesitantly, I turned around and put my right foot down on the first plank below. I started to panic. I didn’t want to move my left foot, but I closed my eyes and did it anyway. I nearly forgot to grab onto the wooden tip of the ladder and almost fell off of it. Fortunately, the ladder was tied to the balcony, so I knew it wouldn’t fall.
I got the hang of the whole ladder thing though, and I was able to reach the ground safely.
“Hi, my name is Saria,” Saria said to me as soon as I jumped off the ladder.
“My name’s Ash,” I said and I held out my hand. Saria just looked at it for a while with a creepy, happy expression on her face. I slowly put my hand back to my side; feeling incredibly awkward.
“Those clothes you’re wearing, I’ve never seen them before,” Saria said. “They must be extremely uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, they are a little,” I lied. I just wanted to get clothes that matched everyone else. I started to get nervous looking entirely different from everyone.
“Well, I’ll take you shopping for some clothes,” Saria said with a bright smile on her face. “That is, if Link doesn’t mind, of course.”
“Ah, well, I have to buy stuff anyway, to see the Great Deku Tree,” Link said. “Every time I try to see him, Mido stops me and tells me only one with a sword and shield can see the Great Deku. Thing is, he goes in there all the time and he never has a sword or shield.”
“Aw, Link, you know Mido. He’s just trying to protect our Great Deku Tree. After all, the Great Deku watches over us. Mido just feels it’s proper, as the village leader, to watch over the Great Deku.”
“Yeah, if you say so,” Link said and then he sighed.
I didn’t know who this Mido guy was, but it seemed to me that Link didn’t like him. I’m not one to judge and all, but I would definitely keep on my toes if I saw Mido.
“Whoa, watch out!” we heard a voice. It was a tiny voice, but still rather loud. “Navi, Navi, I am so sorry that I’m late!”
All of a sudden, a fairy showed up. This fairy was glowing, just like Navi, but had an orange tint to it. It flew straight to Navi.
“Maximus, you’re extremely late,” Navi scolded.
“Yeah, I know, but I over slept,” Maximus shouted. He seemed tremendously anxious.
Navi looked toward me (or at least I think she looked at me) and said, “Ash, this is your own guardian fairy, Maximus.”
“Heya,” Maximus said. “You can call me Max.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said. I had a strange feeling that Max was not going to be a good guardian fairy, but I couldn’t complain. At least I knew that this Deku tree thing was expecting me, seeing as I was sent my very own fairy.
“Wow, you are a true Kokiri too, Ash,” Saria said. “To celebrate, I’ll pull my rupees together and buy you a new tunic myself.”
“What are ‘rupees’?” I said.
“They’re the Hyrulian currency,” Link stated. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small sack. He pulled out a brightly colored, green gem. Compared to the money we had back at home, the Hyrulian rupee was stunning. Even through the dim, forest fog the rupee shined in Link’s hand.
“Wow,” I said with astonishment. I went to touch it but Link put it right back in the bag.
The three of us didn’t have much more to say, so Link and Saria started to walk down a path and I followed. There was a lot of water in this village and it all came from a small waterfall, the one I heard when I first got there. For some reason, none of the Kokiri kids played in the water. They must have been really mature for their age because if I had time, I would have been playing in the pond in a second. A lot of them waved to Link and Saria and when they saw me, they kept on their huge smiles. They knew I was an outsider, but they didn’t judge me for that.
We reached a big, round house and some girl was sitting on top of it. “Hey Saria and Link,” she shouted and she waved her arms up in the air.
“Hi,” the two said in unison.
“What kind of kid sits on top of a roof?” I heard Max mumble.
We walked into the house which was actually the Kokiri store. It smelled rather musty and the lights were dim, but there was a polite girl to our left that greeted us. The first thing I noticed was the dim lights. The light was created by tiny light bulbs hanging from a string. It surprised me to see light bulbs in a medieval setting like Hyrule.
“Hey guys, and welcome to the Kokiri store,” the woman said. “If you’re here for items, please go to the front counter. If you’re here for apparel just let me know and I’ll show you the various tunics we have in stock.”
“We’re here for a girl’s tunic for Ashley here,” said Saria.
Link went to the front counter as the shop girl pulled out a wooden rack that had tons of clothes hanging from it. All of them were green…
“Ashley, would you prefer a skirt or shorts?” the shop girl asked.
“A skirt,” I said.
“Would you like that skirt in green, light green, lighter green, olive green, light olive green, dark green, forest green, dark light green, darker light green, dark lighter green, or olive dark lighter green?”
I stared at her for the longest time until I snapped back to reality and said, “Um, forest green.”
“Good choice!” she said, enthused. “Now then, what kind of top would you like? There are various choices for girls.”
The shop lady pulled out a bunch of tops that were on a nearby rack. There was V-neck tops and some turtle necks. But, there was one in particular that I really liked. It was a short sleeved polo shirt with string below the collar.
“I like this one,” I said and I took it off the rack.
“Well, if you would like, how about you go to one of our dressing rooms and try it on,” the shop girl said with a bright smile.
I took my new clothes to a dressing room in the back. It smelled of trees when I walked in, but that was only because the whole shop was made of trees and leaves. The tunic, however, was made of a really comfortable fabric. It was actually a lot more comfortable than my jeans and my polo, despite being really ugly.
But, after I put the tunic on, I started to like it. I looked really nice in the forest green color. I looked in the mirror and realized it almost matched my hazel eyes and definitely went with my ashy, brown hair. But, my Converse shoes were still an issue and I was afraid I would have to get one of those floppy, green hats.
I opened the dressing room and walked out. Link was waiting for me with the shop girl, but Saria wasn’t there anymore.
“Wow,” Link said, “you look really, uh, nice.” He started blushing a bit.
“Shut up,” I snapped. I wasn’t there for a date, I just really wanted to get back to the Mushroom Kingdom and call up James. Maybe, in his world, they had decent clothes even, seeing as it seemed James’ place was more technologically advanced than the Hyrule dump.
“Well, Saria left me some rupees to buy those clothes, a pair of boots, and a traditional Kokiri hat,” Link said when I walked out. “I bought you a shield too, just to be nice.”
The shop girl already had boots ready for me in her right hand. In her left was that stupid floppy hat.
“To be even extra nice,” Link started, “I went ahead and picked out your boots and your hat so we look similar.”
The shop girl handed me the hat and I just stared at it, saying rather harshly, “Well, Link, if I have to wear this ridiculous hat, you have to wear the same tunic I have on.”
The shop girl smiled and said, “You’re funny. But, to let you know, you bought the last style of tunic you’re wearing.”
Link had a smile on his face and nodded, then adding, “Now, Ash, put on your boots so we can find a sword.”
“Before we do that, I need to put my old clothes in your house,” I said.
“Whatever you say, Ashley,” Link said and he started to walk out of the store.
Asshole, I thought.

Once I put my old clothes in Link’s home, we set out to a little spot for a little lunch. We had this thing called a deku nut, which we roasted over a fire in this house where these stupid ‘Know-it-All’ brothers lived. We had a nice salad, too. The fairies didn’t eat for some reason, but I wasn’t even sure if they could eat.
We had lunch in this area called the training area. There was some kid punching air in the corner. I watched him, but after a while, it just got depressing. I wasn’t sure if he just didn’t have friends or what.
I started to pick those dumb yellow balls out of my salad and didn’t notice that Link was watching me.
“Is your food bad?” he asked.
I looked up and said, “Nah.” I looked back down and continued picking the balls out of my salad.
“You look bothered,” Link said and I saw him set his deku nut on his wooden plate. “Is something wrong?”
“Not really,” I said, “but it’s so different here, ya know?”
“Sorry, but I don’t…know,” Link said. “I’ve lived here all my life and I’ll live here forever. No one here can leave this forest, or we’ll get sick and die.”
No, you won’t die, I thought, but I wasn’t supposed to tell him that, so I said this instead: “That must suck.”
“Nah, it’s quite enjoyable here. Everyone’s really nice.”
I felt bad for Link. He was going to be a kid forever. Link would never get married or have kids or go through puberty…not that missing out on puberty was a drag, but Link would miss out on a lot of stuff.
“So, where are we supposed to get swords?” I asked.
“Well, see that hole in the wall over there,” Link said and then he pointed at the hole. “There’s supposed to be a treasure chest in there and it’s magical, so only certain people can open it. Since the Great Deku Tree sent out for us, we must be the ones who can open it. Now, finish your salad.”
“There’s yellow stuff in it,” I whined.
“Aw, those things are harmless.”
“What are they?”
“Well, no one really knows, but they’re little, glowing particles that like to get cuddly with people. We Kokiris call them Love Bugs.”
I stood up and said, “Well, they make me sneeze. But anyway, let’s get those swords and get this adventure rolling.”
Link stood up and shrugged, adding, “If you say so.” When Link stood up he pulled up his shorts a little, and grabbed my plate. He threw the salad into a corner and tossed the plate like a disc.
We climbed on some fences for fun and made our way to the hole that was in the wall. Fortunately, we could both fit in it well and were able to move forward. I went in last because I didn’t want Link looking at my butt and all.
At the end of the hole, Link grabbed my wrists and pulled me up. Yeah, it hurt, but before I could hit him, he took off running…right in front a gigantic rock. I’m not usually good at thinking too quickly, but I rushed and grabbed his wrist. I was sprinting as we turned corners. Absent mindedly, I ran past the treasure chest, so we had to make the round, or rather square, trip again.
This time, I didn’t miss the chest and I ran into the opening, throwing Link in front of me and turning around to watch the huge rock pass. I turned and shouted, “You could’ve gotten killed, you idiot!”
Link put his hand on his hip and said, “C’mon, let’s just open this treasure chest. Get off my back, you jerk.”
I ignored him when he called me a jerk. I decided to let him have the last word, but that would be the only time. This damn fairy boy was getting on my nerves. Next time we were close to a cliff, I would definitely push him off it.
We walked up to the treasure chest in front of us and looked at each other.
“You ready?” Link asked.
“Heck yes,” I said with a smile. I’d forgive him for the argument before, but I knew there would be another one at some point in time.
We both lifted the lid at the same time and an intense light came from interior the treasure chest. Inside, there was a blue cushion and two small swords. Link took the sword with a brown hilt and a ruby imbedded in the hilt. I took the last sword, which had an orange hilt and a sapphire in the middle.
As we set up our sheaths, I noticed that Link was left handed. I, on the other hand, was right handed. I don’t know why, but it just amused me. I thought it would be cool, us being a duo and using different hands for our swords.
Anyway, we crawled out of this place through that hole in the wall and made our way towards the entrance that leads to the Great Deku Tree. I was nervous, but probably not as nervous as Link. This was his first time meeting the being that created him and kept him safe all the years he lived in the Kokiri Forest. We jumped on a couple patches of land that kept us from having to walk in the pond and I saw him…
“Mido,” Link whispered, stopping me in my own tracks. “Ash, I cannot stress this enough. You have a short fuse and you’re extremely opinionated. Mido is the same way, but he is also very, very full of himself. If you get into an argument with him, we will never get past him, even if we had a million swords and shields.”
“Aw, Link, don’t be so dumb,” I said. “I can actually behave myself. Mido can be the biggest jerk on the planet, but I’m strong enough to just ignore the little bastard.”
“Whoa, and don’t cuss either,” Link said. “You’ll get in big trouble.”
“Oh darn,” I said mockingly and I continued on with Link, following closely behind me.
We moved to the entrance and there stood Mido with his hands on his hips, tapping his foot like he was impatient with us.
“Oh, well look who we have here,” Mido said. His voice was whiney sounding and reminded me of nails on a chalkboard. Mido just had that voice that made you want to punch him in the face whenever he said something. It didn’t matter whether he was making a statement, a joke, or whining; you always wanted to punch him in the face.
“I have been called to see the Great Deku Tree and so has Ashley here,” Link said. “Could you let us through?”
“We have a sword and shield,” I said. “Both of us do.”
“Well, aren’t you two special then?” Mido said rolling his eyes. “How about I let everyone with swords and shields go in and see the Great Deku Tree? I wonder how that would go. Before you know it, I’ll start letting people who wield almighty sticks see the Great Deku.”
This guy started to make me extremely angry, but I promised Link that I wouldn’t say anything so I kept my mouth shut.
“Mido just let us through, please,” Link begged.
“Why should I?” Mido teased.
“Because I was sent to tell Link to see the Great Deku Tree,” Navi said. I hadn’t noticed, but she was hidden in Link’s hat. I touched mine and felt Max at the tip. He was probably sleeping, so I didn’t bother him.
“Oh look, Link the Loser finally got himself a fairy,” Mido said. “Even so, don’t expect me to treat you like you’re a true blooded Kokiri, because I know you aren’t.”
“And how?” I asked rather harshly. Link shot me a look, so I just gave him a look of distress. I really wanted to tear into this guy. Link just rolled his eyes and returned his sight to Mido.
“How about you shut your mouth,” Mido said. “You cannot talk to the Great Mido like that. I am your superior. Anyway, Link here is so different from all of us. If he was a true Kokiri, his fairy would’ve come much sooner.”
“Alright Mido, you’ve said enough, just let us through please,” Link said. He was getting tired; I could hear it in his voice.
“Hah, I won’t move, not in a million years!” Mido boasted and then he erupted into the best evil laugh I had ever heard.
Even if it was the best evil laugh I had ever heard, my reader, I wouldn’t savor it. It got old real quick, so I took out my sword and put it up to Mido’s throat. He definitely shut up then. I decided to back him against the wall, just to alert him that I wasn’t playing games.
“Oh please, please don’t kill me,” Mido pleaded.
“Not so tough are you?” I said with a smile.
“Ashley, don’t,” Link snapped.
I looked back for a second at Link, smirked, and then pressed the blade of my sword against Mido’s throat a bit harder. Suddenly, Mido’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fainted.
“Now we go, Link,” I said with grace.
“You’re a terrible person,” Link said, but I couldn’t tell if he was serious or if he was joking.
I smirked.
“Oh sir, you haven’t seen terrible from me yet.”