Categories > Original > Drama > The Adventures of the Fabulous Four
Searchingtheskies
I could walk this fine line between elation and success,
But we all know which way I’m going to strike the stake between my chest,
So, “you’ll have to prove yourself”
You’ll have to prove it to me.
There is nothing worse than sitting and waiting for someone to get back to you. We had been sitting here for half the day waiting. It was like some new age form of torture. Jack had just about worn the floor out with pacing and I was just about tearing my hair out with impatience, not to mention the fact that I was running out of songs to listen to and things to do with my hands.
This was an important call; it would make us or break us. Some industry people had caught wind of us and offered to sign us. It wasn’t a great multi-million dollar deal, but it was definitely a start. It meant that we could actually use a proper studio and make a proper record for our fans. No more recording songs with shitty equipment in someone’s garage. It also meant that we would be getting a little bit more mainstream exposure, meaning that we can expand our fan-base, maybe even go on a better tour, and maybe even headline a proper tour. It wasn’t that this tour wasn’t awesome; it was more that maybe we could actually have something that resembled a proper tour bus and even book some bigger venues. That would make the experience even better, having a bed to sleep in.
I was trying not to invest too much into this offer, it may all just fall through and it might not even happen, but it was hard not to invest even the tiniest amount of hope into it when this was so much a part of the life I was living, and so much a part of my future. It was my dream.
“I can’t take the suspense” sighed Jack flopping into a chair. “I mean, what if this really happens? What then? What happens once you get what you want?”
“Then we go and make a kick ass record” I replied, my eyes not moving from the laptop screen in front of me. “And we think of new things to want, new goal and new dreams...”
“A real record” he sighed, his eyes glazing over.
“Don’t get too excited dream boy” said Ian, “it hasn’t happened yet.”
“Yeah” added in Pat. “Besides, it’s not like they are offering us millions of dollars. We will be on a pretty tight budget, but at least it will involve a real studio.”
“Hey, we know how to make a dollar go far” I smiled.
“Stealing is not an option” laughed Ian.
“I have never stolen a thing in my life” I replied in mock outrage. I hadn’t ever shoplifted; I might have permanently borrowed a few things from friends, but take something without paying, never. I have too much of a conscience. “I may have aided and abetted” I added as an afterthought, I could feel four pairs of raised eyebrows on me.
“That’s more along the lines of the truth” laughed Freddy. I rolled my eyes, something I had become rather good at since starting this tour.
“Okay really, why hasn’t he called?” whined Jack.
“You sound like a needy girl after a date” I laughed. “’Why hasn’t he called? He said he was going to call! Oh my God why hasn’t he called me?’”. Three pillows hit me in the head simultaneously.
“If you break my laptop you are buying me a new one” I said, putting one of the pillows behind my head. One last pillow came out of nowhere and hit me in the neck. “I thought you were my friend Jack” I said in mock outrage.
“You thought wrong” he smiled devilishly. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was just about to retaliate to my laughter when the phone rang. The whole room went silent, all of our hearts skipping a beat. We all just looked at each other, unaware of what the proper response was.
flockmaster
Today was so shitty. Oh fuck it, it was beyond shitty. My job sucks, I have to be honest, and it really does. I think loyalty and the fact that I need constant income is the only reason I am still there. It’s not like I ever thought that being a check-out-chick was going to be fun or glamorous. I think my job would suck a little less if my ex-boyfriend didn’t work here. There is only so much sexual innuendo, bad jokes and stupid looks that I can take in one day. He uses them all up in a matter of seconds, then the whole world has to suffer through variations and repeats. I can’t remember why I even dated him anymore. In truth we ended things on very good terms, as far as break ups go. It didn’t stop him from being any less annoying though. Sometimes the whole male species could be annoying though, sometimes, who am I kidding? Most of the time.
I need a new job. I need a new place to live. I need a new boyfriend. I need a new life.
mywordsaremyfaith
I hate my birthday, truly I do. It’s the one time of year that I know my mother is going to do something to upset me and get away with it. It’s the one time of year I know that I will go to bed crying, or that I know I will feel completely hopeless and helpless.
The only person I felt I could talk to at these times was Bec, but she was so far away right now I don’t know if even she could help. We share something in common that bonds us closer than most other people. We both suffer from depression, maybe not as badly as some, and maybe not as bad as each other, but the fact that she knew vaguely what I was going through made it so much easier for me to talk to her, she knew all my dark secrets. It’s easy to pretend with everyone that it is okay, but when you’re talking with someone who knows all the signs, it’s those times that you end up being the most honest. Being able to talk to Bec doesn’t stop it though. It doesn’t stop the nights where I sit with my back against the wall, tear stained cheeks, wishing for it all to end. It doesn’t stop the pain, it doesn’t stop those thoughts. It doesn’t change anything.
Sometimes I feel like being born was a waste of time. According to everything around me I wasn’t living my life right, I wasn’t normal, wouldn’t the world just be better off without me?
That was how my family made me feel anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I ran away and lived with the girls that I was so close with, the girls that I wished were my family, that suddenly everything would be okay. Suddenly my life would change and suddenly I’d be happy again. It was like that was the solution to fix everything. It had been so long since I had been happy, so long since I was genuinely happy and not acting, not masked to the world.
I think if you’d lived my life, if you’d experienced the things that I had you’d hate your birthday too. Every year without fail my mother would put her foot in it and do something horrible. This year was no exception. This year was worse. This year she said something that has been ringing in my head all night.
“You’re a waste of space Monique, you’re a waste of space and oxygen” her words were ringing in my ear like a high pitched scream. Was it true? Was I really that pathetic that I shouldn’t even be allowed to breathe? I guess if my own mother thought that it must be true, after all she is supposed to love me unconditionally. If she can’t even love me, pathetic me, then I must be fucking doomed.
I could feel the familiar burning in the back of my throat as the tears started to build up in my eyes. My vision was slowly getting blurrier and blurrier. Here I was again, alone, in the dark and crying. Fuck.
beani19
It’s so hard to lose something that you’ve had for so long, a comfort, something that had become a normal part of your life. For so long I was the girl in the relationship, the girl with the boyfriend, the happy one. I’d have never thought that I would be the one with the broken heart, the one everyone looked at with sympathetic eyes.
I love you, I honestly do, but I think we need a break.
How can he love me and still do this to me? If he loved me he wouldn’t need to do this, if he loved me there would be no hesitation, no questions, no need for a break. If he loved me he would want to be with me.
Breaking up is a hard thing to do. I feel like I have lost a huge part of myself, I feel as if my heart had been cut out and all I have is this huge hole. Never in my life had I ever felt that I needed to get out of here more. I need to leave this place. Everywhere I look I am reminded of him, I am reminded of us, I am reminded of what is gone. He was my life for so long, and now I needed something to help me get over him, but everything in this place reminded me of him, of us, of the past.
It wasn’t you, this has nothing to do with you, and it’s me. I promise you it is me.
I feel so disjointed from everything. I feel like the very reason I was living, my purpose, I feel like it has just vanished. I had no reason to be here, no reason to even exist anymore.
I just can’t do this anymore.
searchingtheskies
I couldn’t help but scream, it rang throughout the entire room, breaking the silence that hung between us. “Are you fucking serious?” I screamed at Jack. “Are you for fucking real?”
“This is for real princess” he shouted back. I screamed again and ran at him. This couldn’t be happening to us. This stuff only happened in dreams, in stories, in fairytales; this sort of thing didn’t happen to people like me. In seconds I was lifted off the ground, in seconds I was spinning through the air. I felt like I was part of some dream, I felt like everything was happening to me and I was sitting in the corner watching it all unfold, it was like I was having an out of body experience, or watching a movie on a big screen. This wasn’t real, this couldn’t be real.
“This is so fucking surreal” said Freddy. “We are now a signed band, a fucking signed band.”
“Jesus Mary and Joseph” I exhaled, flopping back into a seat. “This is so a dream, I’m going to wake up any second now.”
“I think we need to have a party” said Pat, smiling at us all.
“Any excuse” I laughed, “you closet alcoholic you”.
“But now we have the ULTIMATE excuse” he smiled even more, “and please, if anyone here has a drinking problem it is Freddy”.
“I guess it is party time then” smiled Jack. I just nodded.
“Fuck you” replied Freddy, five minutes after the fact. He couldn’t help but be a little slow sometimes, it made him even easier to love.
I suppose if there was any time to celebrate something it was now. I felt like I was a little girl again and it was the night before Christmas. I had that excited knot inside my stomach, making me nervous. I was nervous for all the right and wrong reasons. Was this the beginning of something beautiful or the beginning of a disaster?
It was the suspenseful moment in the movie, the music at fever pitch and you have no idea what is coming around the corner. The suspense has you on the edge of your seat, but you’re also scared that it could be bad.
“Wait, does this mean we officially need to get a manager?” I asked. The boys all looked at me.
“For once in your life could you not be the responsible one and just fucking party, we will think about that shit tomorrow. Actually, tomorrow we will be sleeping, but the day after” replied Pat.
“I was just thinking out loud” I shrugged.
“Well stop thinking!” said Jack grabbing me by the shoulders. He knew better than to ask me to stop thinking, he knew exactly how hard it was for me to turn off my thoughts. In fact, I could be certain that I can’t, falling to sleep is my worst enemy, I can never stop thinking. My head spins out thoughts like a tap, a dripping tap.
beani19
The worst thing to do after a break up is to try to live. Every single thing reminds me of him, everywhere I look memories flood back, memories of the good times, of the bad times, memories I want to forget.
I put my trust in him, I let myself go, I fell in love, and this is what I get, a broken heart. I can’t say it feels worth it. It feels everything except worth it.
I have been trying to keep my life going on as if nothing has happened, I am trying to act normal, but every task is a struggle. I feel empty. I am nothing but a shell.
I had been working for the last three hours, but I don’t think I’ve done any work. I am sitting here trying not to start crying. I don’t want to be at home right now because I know that being there would just make me feel worse, I’m not a little girl and hiding under the covers isn’t going to make this go away, as much as I wanted it to, it wasn’t going to. At least at work I can try to distract myself, even if I am failing right now.
I feel like I can’t talk to the girls right now either, almost like they aren’t there for me. I know it is not intentional; I blame the physical distance between us, not them individually. We are in different time zones and they have their own lives, I just wish I could talk to them, cry on their shoulders. I wish we could all be together, be stupid, cry, laugh, eat chocolate, I wish we could do all those things now just to make each other feel better.
mywordsaremyfaith
This morning I had the pleasure of waking up on the floor in the bathroom. My back was aching and my throat was burning. I knew the feeling; I had spent the entire night crying, spread on the floor. In some moment of the night I had finally passed out, but I couldn’t remember it, all I could remember was the tears. I am so glad that I the bathroom door has a lock; I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to find me in that state. That state is my little secret, my burden, I don’t want anyone to know.
No one questions why I always wear pants, why I always wear long shirts, why I always wear long sleeves. In that respect I am lucky, people don’t question me, but if they knew the truth behind everything, I am sure they’d freak out. They’d want me to get more help; they’d want to make a fuss. I don’t want attention, I don’t want anyone to notice me, I want to be left alone, I want to be invisible, I want to fly away. I feel so stuck in this place, like I am in a walled room and there is no way out. It’s suffocating me.
I was ripped from my own pity party by the distinct sound of my phone ringing. I starred at the flashing screen, debating if I should bother answering it or not. The shrill sound of my ringtone made me give and pick it up.
“Hello?” I mumbled into the phone.
“I fucking love you and I fucking love the world” came a yelling voice from the other end of the phone. They sounded more than drunk and there was a whole lot of yelling in the background. I didn’t even know what to do. In a bit of a daze I looked at the caller ID only to be told that it was a ‘private number’. Confusion washed over me.
I could walk this fine line between elation and success,
But we all know which way I’m going to strike the stake between my chest,
So, “you’ll have to prove yourself”
You’ll have to prove it to me.
There is nothing worse than sitting and waiting for someone to get back to you. We had been sitting here for half the day waiting. It was like some new age form of torture. Jack had just about worn the floor out with pacing and I was just about tearing my hair out with impatience, not to mention the fact that I was running out of songs to listen to and things to do with my hands.
This was an important call; it would make us or break us. Some industry people had caught wind of us and offered to sign us. It wasn’t a great multi-million dollar deal, but it was definitely a start. It meant that we could actually use a proper studio and make a proper record for our fans. No more recording songs with shitty equipment in someone’s garage. It also meant that we would be getting a little bit more mainstream exposure, meaning that we can expand our fan-base, maybe even go on a better tour, and maybe even headline a proper tour. It wasn’t that this tour wasn’t awesome; it was more that maybe we could actually have something that resembled a proper tour bus and even book some bigger venues. That would make the experience even better, having a bed to sleep in.
I was trying not to invest too much into this offer, it may all just fall through and it might not even happen, but it was hard not to invest even the tiniest amount of hope into it when this was so much a part of the life I was living, and so much a part of my future. It was my dream.
“I can’t take the suspense” sighed Jack flopping into a chair. “I mean, what if this really happens? What then? What happens once you get what you want?”
“Then we go and make a kick ass record” I replied, my eyes not moving from the laptop screen in front of me. “And we think of new things to want, new goal and new dreams...”
“A real record” he sighed, his eyes glazing over.
“Don’t get too excited dream boy” said Ian, “it hasn’t happened yet.”
“Yeah” added in Pat. “Besides, it’s not like they are offering us millions of dollars. We will be on a pretty tight budget, but at least it will involve a real studio.”
“Hey, we know how to make a dollar go far” I smiled.
“Stealing is not an option” laughed Ian.
“I have never stolen a thing in my life” I replied in mock outrage. I hadn’t ever shoplifted; I might have permanently borrowed a few things from friends, but take something without paying, never. I have too much of a conscience. “I may have aided and abetted” I added as an afterthought, I could feel four pairs of raised eyebrows on me.
“That’s more along the lines of the truth” laughed Freddy. I rolled my eyes, something I had become rather good at since starting this tour.
“Okay really, why hasn’t he called?” whined Jack.
“You sound like a needy girl after a date” I laughed. “’Why hasn’t he called? He said he was going to call! Oh my God why hasn’t he called me?’”. Three pillows hit me in the head simultaneously.
“If you break my laptop you are buying me a new one” I said, putting one of the pillows behind my head. One last pillow came out of nowhere and hit me in the neck. “I thought you were my friend Jack” I said in mock outrage.
“You thought wrong” he smiled devilishly. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was just about to retaliate to my laughter when the phone rang. The whole room went silent, all of our hearts skipping a beat. We all just looked at each other, unaware of what the proper response was.
flockmaster
Today was so shitty. Oh fuck it, it was beyond shitty. My job sucks, I have to be honest, and it really does. I think loyalty and the fact that I need constant income is the only reason I am still there. It’s not like I ever thought that being a check-out-chick was going to be fun or glamorous. I think my job would suck a little less if my ex-boyfriend didn’t work here. There is only so much sexual innuendo, bad jokes and stupid looks that I can take in one day. He uses them all up in a matter of seconds, then the whole world has to suffer through variations and repeats. I can’t remember why I even dated him anymore. In truth we ended things on very good terms, as far as break ups go. It didn’t stop him from being any less annoying though. Sometimes the whole male species could be annoying though, sometimes, who am I kidding? Most of the time.
I need a new job. I need a new place to live. I need a new boyfriend. I need a new life.
mywordsaremyfaith
I hate my birthday, truly I do. It’s the one time of year that I know my mother is going to do something to upset me and get away with it. It’s the one time of year I know that I will go to bed crying, or that I know I will feel completely hopeless and helpless.
The only person I felt I could talk to at these times was Bec, but she was so far away right now I don’t know if even she could help. We share something in common that bonds us closer than most other people. We both suffer from depression, maybe not as badly as some, and maybe not as bad as each other, but the fact that she knew vaguely what I was going through made it so much easier for me to talk to her, she knew all my dark secrets. It’s easy to pretend with everyone that it is okay, but when you’re talking with someone who knows all the signs, it’s those times that you end up being the most honest. Being able to talk to Bec doesn’t stop it though. It doesn’t stop the nights where I sit with my back against the wall, tear stained cheeks, wishing for it all to end. It doesn’t stop the pain, it doesn’t stop those thoughts. It doesn’t change anything.
Sometimes I feel like being born was a waste of time. According to everything around me I wasn’t living my life right, I wasn’t normal, wouldn’t the world just be better off without me?
That was how my family made me feel anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I ran away and lived with the girls that I was so close with, the girls that I wished were my family, that suddenly everything would be okay. Suddenly my life would change and suddenly I’d be happy again. It was like that was the solution to fix everything. It had been so long since I had been happy, so long since I was genuinely happy and not acting, not masked to the world.
I think if you’d lived my life, if you’d experienced the things that I had you’d hate your birthday too. Every year without fail my mother would put her foot in it and do something horrible. This year was no exception. This year was worse. This year she said something that has been ringing in my head all night.
“You’re a waste of space Monique, you’re a waste of space and oxygen” her words were ringing in my ear like a high pitched scream. Was it true? Was I really that pathetic that I shouldn’t even be allowed to breathe? I guess if my own mother thought that it must be true, after all she is supposed to love me unconditionally. If she can’t even love me, pathetic me, then I must be fucking doomed.
I could feel the familiar burning in the back of my throat as the tears started to build up in my eyes. My vision was slowly getting blurrier and blurrier. Here I was again, alone, in the dark and crying. Fuck.
beani19
It’s so hard to lose something that you’ve had for so long, a comfort, something that had become a normal part of your life. For so long I was the girl in the relationship, the girl with the boyfriend, the happy one. I’d have never thought that I would be the one with the broken heart, the one everyone looked at with sympathetic eyes.
I love you, I honestly do, but I think we need a break.
How can he love me and still do this to me? If he loved me he wouldn’t need to do this, if he loved me there would be no hesitation, no questions, no need for a break. If he loved me he would want to be with me.
Breaking up is a hard thing to do. I feel like I have lost a huge part of myself, I feel as if my heart had been cut out and all I have is this huge hole. Never in my life had I ever felt that I needed to get out of here more. I need to leave this place. Everywhere I look I am reminded of him, I am reminded of us, I am reminded of what is gone. He was my life for so long, and now I needed something to help me get over him, but everything in this place reminded me of him, of us, of the past.
It wasn’t you, this has nothing to do with you, and it’s me. I promise you it is me.
I feel so disjointed from everything. I feel like the very reason I was living, my purpose, I feel like it has just vanished. I had no reason to be here, no reason to even exist anymore.
I just can’t do this anymore.
searchingtheskies
I couldn’t help but scream, it rang throughout the entire room, breaking the silence that hung between us. “Are you fucking serious?” I screamed at Jack. “Are you for fucking real?”
“This is for real princess” he shouted back. I screamed again and ran at him. This couldn’t be happening to us. This stuff only happened in dreams, in stories, in fairytales; this sort of thing didn’t happen to people like me. In seconds I was lifted off the ground, in seconds I was spinning through the air. I felt like I was part of some dream, I felt like everything was happening to me and I was sitting in the corner watching it all unfold, it was like I was having an out of body experience, or watching a movie on a big screen. This wasn’t real, this couldn’t be real.
“This is so fucking surreal” said Freddy. “We are now a signed band, a fucking signed band.”
“Jesus Mary and Joseph” I exhaled, flopping back into a seat. “This is so a dream, I’m going to wake up any second now.”
“I think we need to have a party” said Pat, smiling at us all.
“Any excuse” I laughed, “you closet alcoholic you”.
“But now we have the ULTIMATE excuse” he smiled even more, “and please, if anyone here has a drinking problem it is Freddy”.
“I guess it is party time then” smiled Jack. I just nodded.
“Fuck you” replied Freddy, five minutes after the fact. He couldn’t help but be a little slow sometimes, it made him even easier to love.
I suppose if there was any time to celebrate something it was now. I felt like I was a little girl again and it was the night before Christmas. I had that excited knot inside my stomach, making me nervous. I was nervous for all the right and wrong reasons. Was this the beginning of something beautiful or the beginning of a disaster?
It was the suspenseful moment in the movie, the music at fever pitch and you have no idea what is coming around the corner. The suspense has you on the edge of your seat, but you’re also scared that it could be bad.
“Wait, does this mean we officially need to get a manager?” I asked. The boys all looked at me.
“For once in your life could you not be the responsible one and just fucking party, we will think about that shit tomorrow. Actually, tomorrow we will be sleeping, but the day after” replied Pat.
“I was just thinking out loud” I shrugged.
“Well stop thinking!” said Jack grabbing me by the shoulders. He knew better than to ask me to stop thinking, he knew exactly how hard it was for me to turn off my thoughts. In fact, I could be certain that I can’t, falling to sleep is my worst enemy, I can never stop thinking. My head spins out thoughts like a tap, a dripping tap.
beani19
The worst thing to do after a break up is to try to live. Every single thing reminds me of him, everywhere I look memories flood back, memories of the good times, of the bad times, memories I want to forget.
I put my trust in him, I let myself go, I fell in love, and this is what I get, a broken heart. I can’t say it feels worth it. It feels everything except worth it.
I have been trying to keep my life going on as if nothing has happened, I am trying to act normal, but every task is a struggle. I feel empty. I am nothing but a shell.
I had been working for the last three hours, but I don’t think I’ve done any work. I am sitting here trying not to start crying. I don’t want to be at home right now because I know that being there would just make me feel worse, I’m not a little girl and hiding under the covers isn’t going to make this go away, as much as I wanted it to, it wasn’t going to. At least at work I can try to distract myself, even if I am failing right now.
I feel like I can’t talk to the girls right now either, almost like they aren’t there for me. I know it is not intentional; I blame the physical distance between us, not them individually. We are in different time zones and they have their own lives, I just wish I could talk to them, cry on their shoulders. I wish we could all be together, be stupid, cry, laugh, eat chocolate, I wish we could do all those things now just to make each other feel better.
mywordsaremyfaith
This morning I had the pleasure of waking up on the floor in the bathroom. My back was aching and my throat was burning. I knew the feeling; I had spent the entire night crying, spread on the floor. In some moment of the night I had finally passed out, but I couldn’t remember it, all I could remember was the tears. I am so glad that I the bathroom door has a lock; I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to find me in that state. That state is my little secret, my burden, I don’t want anyone to know.
No one questions why I always wear pants, why I always wear long shirts, why I always wear long sleeves. In that respect I am lucky, people don’t question me, but if they knew the truth behind everything, I am sure they’d freak out. They’d want me to get more help; they’d want to make a fuss. I don’t want attention, I don’t want anyone to notice me, I want to be left alone, I want to be invisible, I want to fly away. I feel so stuck in this place, like I am in a walled room and there is no way out. It’s suffocating me.
I was ripped from my own pity party by the distinct sound of my phone ringing. I starred at the flashing screen, debating if I should bother answering it or not. The shrill sound of my ringtone made me give and pick it up.
“Hello?” I mumbled into the phone.
“I fucking love you and I fucking love the world” came a yelling voice from the other end of the phone. They sounded more than drunk and there was a whole lot of yelling in the background. I didn’t even know what to do. In a bit of a daze I looked at the caller ID only to be told that it was a ‘private number’. Confusion washed over me.
Sign up to rate and review this story