FicWad

I was still pacing nervously when my mom clamped a hand down on my shoulder, forcing me to come to a halt. I spun around and snapped at her irritatedly, "What?" I knew I wasn't being very polite, but right now, I was very stressed. Whenever I was stressed out, all my manners seemed to disappear completely.
My mom frowned slightly and me and put a hand to my forehead, "What's wrong, Amy? You've been pacing here for a good hour at least, and your forehead is hot. You seem really flushed. Do you have a fever or anything?" I shook my head, wishing my mom would remove her hand from my forehead, "No, no, I'm just fine, mom. And nothing is wrong. I'm going out in a few minutes though so I can't chit chat with you for very long."
Mom removed her hand from my forehead and gazed at me curiously, "Who are you going out with?" Sighing, I collapsed into the recliner and told my mom the whole story about inviting Steven to join the band and about how I had offered to bring him to Izzy's house. At the end of my story, I added, "But the worst part is, I don't know what to talk to him about. And what if things get awkward? We're just friends and I don't want him to think any differently..."
When I had finished, my mom tapped her forehead and peered at me intently for a few minutes. Finally, she answered, "You seem like you're really concerned about this, Amy. It's really no big deal. If you can't find things to talk to Steven about, you can just turn up the radio. But Amy, do you want to hear the real reason why I think you're nervous?"
I shrugged, I wasn't really sure if I wanted to know what my mom was going to say. She usually came up with some pretty weird reasons. My mom decided to take my shrug as agreement because she continued, "I think you really like this Steven guy. Like maybe in a 'more than friends' way."
I opened my mouth to protest, but my mom held up one finger to stop me, "You don't have to tell me I'm wrong. Just think about it for a few minutes." Resignedly, I did think about it for a few minutes. But everytime I thought about Steven, I told myself he was just a friend. I still was trying to sort out my situation with Izzy and Vince. Another man in my life was the last thing I needed right now. It was probably the thing that would push me over the edge.
My mom took advantage of my silence to ask me another question, "By the way, who was here a few weeks ago? You know, the day I had that meeting? I saw a Porsche in the driveway." My face immediately went white and I stuttered some incomprehensible words. How had my mother known that Vince had been here? She had supposedly been at her meeting. Had she skipped the meeting and decided to spy on me instead? And if she had been spying, what exactly had she seen? Hopefully, not much. After all, that was the time Vince had come over and I had pretty much let him strip me down.
After my jumbled stuttering, my mom gave me a suspicious look and said, "Slow down a little bit, Amy. Nobody can understand what you're saying. Say what you just said again, just slower." Taking a deep breath, I admitted the truth to her, "Uh, Vince Neil came over. We...um...wanted to talk about the band."
My mom raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing my lie, "Oh really? How come I have a hard time believing that? Wasn't Vince the one you were dating before he got married?" I grimaced and stared at my lap. How the hell did my mother manage to keep all my ex boyfriends in her head? It was really none of her business.
I kept silent, waiting for my mom's talk about morals and about how I should stay away from Vince. So when she came over and put her arms around me in a motherly hug, I was completely caught of guard. She held me in her arms for a few moments before pulling back slightly so she could look right into my eyes, "Amy, I know you really must love him, but I want you to try and find a different boyfriend. Someone who's available. So maybe you should take a look at this Steven guy, whoever he is. I just want to see you happy, and I know you'll never be happy having an affair with Vince."
I chewed on the tip of my tongue, thinking my mom's advice over. Vince and I weren't really having an "affair"...were we? I liked to think that we just had a close relationship, not an affair. I was still thinking about what to say to my mom, when there was a knock on the door. I had become so caught up in my love life that I had completely forgotten that Steven would be here.
Jumping up from the couch, I flew over to the door and flung it open a little breathlessly. Steven stood in the doorway with a big smile on his face, "Hi Amy! Should we get going?" I cast a sideways glance over my shoulder at my mom. I could tell she was trying to get a good look at Steven. My mom was just like that; she wanted to know all about every boy I met.
"Sure, let's go," I replied, stepping into my black stilettos and heading out the door. Steven and I crossed the driveway until we reached his banged up, rusty Ford. I looked at it hesitantly, wondering if it was safe, and suggested, "Um, we could take my car if you want. It would save you the money for extra gas and stuff."
But Steven waved my offer aside as he climbed into his Ford, saying, "Oh no, it's fine! I don't mind spending any extra money on gas. Come on in!" Hoping that the car wasn't going to break down on the middle of the highway, I tentatively stepped inside and took the passenger seat next to Steven.
The engine roared to life with a loud growl, and soon we were off. Now I was starting to feel silly about worrying what to talk about with Steven because Steven had the music cranked up to the max. I doubted he could even hear me if I did try to talk to him. As soon as we were on the highway, Steven opened our window so we could feel the cool breeze on our faces.
Steven's fluffy blonde locks waved around from the wind and his green and yellow Ac/Dc short billowed around him. I tried not to peek at him too closely. Regardless of what my mom said, I didn't want to get involved with Steven right now. I would have to cut off all ties with every other guy I knew before I started dating another guy. But cutting ties was a lot harder than you would think. With Vince, it was about impossible. I was truly happy with Vince right now. He was being loving, caring, and he was staying in control of himself when he was around me. He was the perfect lover. But what about Izzy? Well, I hadn't spoken to Izzy for weeks now. I had called a few more times, but Axl had told me that Izzy was busy or was out doing stuff. So I was left to assume that Izzy and I were just "taking a break" from our relationship at the moment. At first it had hurt, But now it didn't hurt nearly as bad and my heart didn't throb when I thought about Izzy.
The time it took to get to Axl's house seemed to fly by and we were there within moments. Steven parked in the driveway and smiled over at me, "Is this the place?" I nodded as I gazed over Izzy's small, welcoming home. I slipped out of the Ford and walked to the doorway with Steven trailing after me.
I knocked three short raps on the door then stood back and waited for an answer. When Izzy opened the door, I was completely caught off guard. I just stood in the doorway with my jaw hanging open. There was an awkward silence until Izzy gave a little smile and said, "Um, do you guys want to come in?"
Finally, I found my voice and replied formally, "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you." I could just feel a brick wall between me and Izzy right now. What had caused it was something I did not know. Feeling a little small and insecure, I took Steven's hand in mine, mainly for comfort, and towed him inside the familiar living room. As soon as we were inside the doorway, Axl and Slash entered the living room with two guitars.
"Ah, there you are!" Axl smiled at the two of us as he pulled the drum set into the middle of the room. "We'll get started in just a sec, just let me finish setting everything up." Slash came over and clapped Steven on the back, "Hey man! It's good to have you here. Let's see if you fit in with the band, hm?"
Steven grinned back at Slash, "Yeah, I guess we'll see." Steven and Slash started chit chatting, and I was left to look over at Izzy who was sitting by himself on the couch. Part of me wanted to go over to him and another part of me was too nervous to get near him. What the hell was I supposed to do?
"Okay, I think we're set here," Axl said, brushing his hair off his face as he straightened up and observed his new band members. "Let's get started then, shall we? Amy, you can just sit on the couch or something so you're out of the way." Rather reluctantly, I inched over to the couch and perched on the corner of it.
The band started to play, but I didn't listen. All I could think about was Izzy and me. I didn't understand what had happened to change our relationship. We had been so good together, but now something seemed off. It just didn't seem right. What had changed? I was so immersed in my thoughts that I jumped when Izzy actually spoke to me, "So what's up with you, Amy?"
I blushed and turned to meet his gorgeous, dark gaze. Something about that gaze still made me feel butterflies in my stomach and made my mind go blank. Stuttering, I managed to say, "Um...not much. How about you?" Izzy moved across the couch so he was sitting closer to me and then said, "Not much either. I've been kind of sick actually. That's why I haven't been calling you or anything. I didn't want you to think I was mad at you or anything..."
"Oh," I replied. So Izzy had been sick. But that still didn't explain why I was getting this bad feeling about us. An awkward silence between us fell. I was glad all the other people in the room where playing their instruments so that they couldn't hear us. Wanting to start up a conversation, I added, "So are you playing in a different band now?"
Izzy nodded, "Yeah, London." That name sounded familiar. That was the band Slash and Steven and been trying to get into. I was about to ask more about London when Axl exclaimed, "Wow, that was awesome! I think we finally have a band here! Steven, welcome to the team. You're a great drummer."
Steven beamed from ear to ear as Axl bathed him in praise. Axl's next words were, "So why don't you guys hang out here for a bit with us?" I couldn't decide if I wanted to stay or not. There was just something wrong with Izzy. I couldn't tell what it was though. But when I glanced over my shoulder, Izzy was gone. That was strange. He had only been there moments before. Where could he have disappeared to so suddenly?
"I'd love to stay," Steven said apologetically, "but I've gotta get home and get a few things done. When's the first band practice?" Slash groaned and made a face at Steven, "What's more important than having a few drinks with your best buddies? Surely the stuff at home can wait a few hours."
Steven shook his head so Axl said, "The first band practice will be on Friday at two. It really is too bad you have to leave though, Steven. It was great meeting you though." Steven and Axl shook hands before Steven turned and headed out the door. I started to follow him, but was stopped by a hand grabbing my wrist.
I turned to see Axl smiling down at me, "Hey, thanks so much for all this, Amy. Steven is the perfect drummer for the band. I feel like we'll finally be able to get some stuff accomplished with him around now. So thanks for your recommendation." I smiled back up at Axl, "You're welcome." It was a rare occasion when Axl smiled like this. This was the best mood I had seen him in for weeks. Axl gave my hand a little squeeze, then dropped it as I followed Steven out the door.
I gave him a little wave which he returned energetically before shutting the door behind me. Part of me wanted to go back in the house and figure out where Izzy was. But really, what would be the point in that? I had a bad feeling I was trying a little too hard to make my relationship with Izzy work. Maybe it was meant to just sort of...fall apart?



I spent pretty much the whole ride back to my house thinking about Izzy. By the time we reached my driveway, I had decided that I would just forget about our relationship unless Izzy said something about it to me. Because deep down, I had an ominous feeling that Izzy had moved on. If he had really wanted to keep our relationship up, he would've asked me out earlier today, right? I mean, that's what boyfriends do; they ask their girlfriends out because they want to spend time together.
Steven parked in my driveway and looked over at me, "Thanks a ton for this, Amy! I really love the Hollywood Rose. We're going to be a really great band someday." I unbuckled my seatbelt and tried to sound happy as I replied, "No problem. I'm glad you like the band. Want to come in for a few minutes?"
Steven shrugged, "Why not?" We ambled up to my doorway. I opened the unlocked door and stepped inside to let Steven in. The house was dark and all the lights were off. Apparently, my mom had gone out to do something or the other. She was always busy, always doing something. It was as if it pained her to sit still.
As soon as Steven had shut the door behind him, a strange craving took control of me. Before I could even realize what I was doing, I found my arms around Steven's neck and my lips against his in a passionate, uncontrolled kiss.

It took me a few minutes before I actually realized what I was doing. By that time, it was too late to take anything back. Feeling totally embarrassed and like a complete idiot, I quickly pulled my mouth off of Steven's and unwrapped my arms from his neck. Stumbling backwards with my face burning tomato red, I muttered, "Oh god...I am so sorry..."
I didn't think I wanted to see Steven's reaction. Most likely, he would think that I was either a slut or a nutcase. And in both cases, I would probably lose his friendship. But when I dared to look up at Steven, he wasn't frowning or scowling at me like I assumed he might be. On the contrary, he was actually smiling at me! It was kind of a surprised smile, but a smile nonetheless. I stared into his violet-flecked eyes and waited for him to speak.
"What are you sorry for?" Steven asked as he stepped over my black stilettos that I had thrown aside carelessly. "There's nothing to be sorry for...unless...do you have a boyfriend?" That was a question that I truly didn't know that answer to. Was Izzy or Vince by boyfriend? Izzy, probably not. But Vince? Hm, I didn't know.
"Uh..." I stammered, still trying to figure out how to answer his question. Finally, I finished, "Kind of." Okay, I know that was a totally idiotic response, but I wasn't really sure what else to say. Steven looked confused. His eye brows had knotted and he had pursed his lips, "I see."
He probably wanted me to try to explain my answer better, but I wasn't in the mood for that. Right now, I was just feeling even more messed up then usually. I mean seriously, what had I been thinking when I had kissed Steven? To be honest, I didn't even think about it. One minute, I was walking through the doorway. The next minute, I had my lips glued on Steven's.
Seeing my awkwardness, Steven gave a half smile and said, "So...do you want to just forget about this?" I had to think about my answer for that too. Steven's kiss had been nice. He had actually kissed me back which was something that I obviously hadn't been expecting. But still...this was not a time to get involved with anyone. I just needed to clean up my life a bit, get myself in check, and take a break from all the boys.
After all, life wasn't all about boys! Life was about getting a job, paying the bills, and finding a way to get through each day. So with that thought in mind, I turned to Steven and agreed, "Yeah...let's just forget about it. I'm really sorry though. I don't know what came over me! I've been feeling a little strange these last few days." I gave a nervous little laugh, trying to get rid of the thick tension in the room. It felt like you could split it with a knife.
Steven smiled back in not an awkward manner, and replied, "It's totally fine! It's not everyday that a guy gets kissed by a pretty girl like you. Anyways, I think I should be going now. I'll see you around, okay?" I nodded, pretty glad that he was leaving, "Yeah, okay. Seeya around."
With that, Steven stepped back out the doorway and shut the door behind him. I was left in complete darkness with a heavy heart. God, I was really turning into a slut! I wanted Izzy, Vince, Steven, and Axl. A break from boys was definitely what I needed. Not bothering to move, I just sat down on the stairs and buried my head in my hands.
Two hours later when my mom came home, I was still crouched down in the same position at the bottom of the staircase. She came and stood beside me with a hand on my shoulder, "Hey sweetie...what happened?" I just shook my head without looking up and her and said, "I don't wanna talk about it."
Mom just shrugged and walked away to leave me in my misery. I was getting in a worse mood minute by minute. I was only know starting to realize that I didn't really have a boyfriend. Izzy had probably left me and Vince wasn't exactly my boyfriend. This wasn't a good sign for the rest of my love life. I mean, I was twenty two and had been hoping to get married by twenty-five. But by the way things were going, I'd die as a single virgin girl.



The next day, I was still kind of in a bad mood. I snapped at everyone who tried to talk to me, trudged through the house, and sulked. So when my phone rang the next afternoon, I wasn't in any mood to talk. Only because I had nothing better to do, I stomped across the floor, picked up the phone, and said, "What?"
There was a silence and then Mick's gentle voice sounded from the other end, "Hi Amy. Um...is this a bad time to talk? Because if it is, I can call you back or something..." I instantly felt bad for being so short with Mick and apologized, "Sorry Mick, I've just been having a bad day. I can talk though. So what's going on?"
"Well, we're back here in Los Angeles," Mick stated a-matter-of-factly. That came as a surprise to me. After all, the Crue was still suppose to be on the tour with Ozzy for another month. I hadn't expected them to be back anytime soon. Curious to what had brought them back early, I asked, "So why are you guys back already?"
"A lot of reasons," Mick began. "First of all, Nikki's mother is really sick and so he wanted to come back to see her. And secondly, Nikki has just been in a really bad mood in general for this whole tour. You know Lita Ford, right?" I nodded and then Mick continued, "She's been cheating on him and so he broke up with her."
I wasn't really all that surprised by that news. Lita seemed like the kind of girl who would cheat on a guy if she found someone else she liked better. I said, "So what's everyone doing now since you're back in LA? Are you planning on going on a another tour soon or are you going to start working on another album?"
"Nikki's visiting his mom, so making a new album is kind of out of the question at the moment since he writes most of our songs. Tommy...uh...he got his foot broken because his car ran over it," Mick told me. I immediately cringed at the thought of a car running over Tommy's phone. That would've been really painful.
"I'll have to go see Tommy," I said sympathetically. Then something else caught my attention. Mick seemed to be in a really good mood. The last five times I had spoken to him, he had seemed depressed. Wondering what had changed this, I asked him, "So what's new with you? You seem to be doing pretty well."
"I bought a new house!" Mick burst out excitedly. "It's really close to your house actually. As a matter of fact, it's across the street from Vince's. And guess what? Linda and I are back together!" Linda? Mick hadn't talked to Linda for months! That was odd. Oh well, all that mattered was that Mick was happy again. He deserved to be happy. Sadly, his happiness seemed to be a trade in since Nikki's normally jovial manner had shriveled up and died.
"That's really great news!" I exclaimed, "I'll have to come see your new house soon. I'm happy for you and Linda though. You really deserve to have a nice girlfriend." I could just imagine Mick's smiling face from the other end of the phone as he said, "Thanks, Amy. You're really nice. Oh, Tommy and Nikki bought new corvettes too! Tommy was all excited about his until it ran over his foot." We both laughed at that.
"Anyways, the real reason I was calling you was to let you know that we're going to Europe for another tour in two weeks. Can you come with us on this tour? Ozzy's not coming this time," Mick added. I guess my dislike of Ozzy had been pretty obvious to him. But really, why should I hide it? Ozzy was a complete idiotic fool if you asked me.
"Yeah, sure, I'll come," I agreed. After a moment's pause, I couldn't help but add, "Um, Mick? Do you know if Beth Lynn is coming on the tour?" I knew that Mick's answer to this question shouldn't influence my decision at all, but I couldn't keep the question to myself. The tour would be so much more fun and easy without Beth along.
"I have no clue," Mick answered, puzzled by my question. "Why do you want to know?" I was glad Mick couldn't see me right now because I was blushing furiously thinking that the real reason I wanted Beth Lynn not to come on the tour was so that I could have a hotel room to myself with Vince.
"I dunno," I replied sheepishly. "Just curious." Mick let it go, saying, "Okay then. Oh, Linda just got here. I should probably let you go. It was nice chatting with you though, Amy! Can't wait to see you on the tour!" I quickly said my farewells to Mick and then sat back down on the couch with my phone resting in my palm.
I was glad to be going back on another tour with the Crue. I had a hard time sitting home alone every night. Going on a tour would hopefully give me a chance to get away from my life here at home and give me a chance to relax.
Two weeks later, I found myself entering the airplane with the Crue that was going to bring us to England, which was where our tour began. It had been a relief to see the Crue again. I had missed them more than I had realized. They were like the big brothers that I had never had. To my relief, Beth Lynn was not coming on the tour and Nikki seemed to be in a relatively good mood considering the way he had been behaving the last times I had seen him.
The five of us wandered through the airplane's narrow hallway to our seats...which were way in the back. As we trudged along, Vince complained loudly, "Why are we sitting in the back? It's not exactly like we don't have have the money for the first-class section." Mick and Tommy rolled their eyes while Nikki replied, "Hang in there man. The plane flight is only a few hours. Just think, in four hours, we'll be in England at your hotel with lots of girls."
I frowned at Nikki. It was pretty obvious that he must be looking for a new girlfriend now that Lita had ditched him. But Vince? Vince didn't need to be looking at more girls. I needed to keep Vince chained to me so that he wouldn't get distracted by all the blonde beauties like he usually did. Girls had always been Vince's biggest temptation.
At that moment, Vince looked over his shoulder and noticed my expression. He slowed down and took my hand so we could walk side by side. He whipped his black sunglasses off and stored them in his jeans, saying to me, "You should've come on the other tour with us. We missed you. Or at least I did."
"I missed you too," I said genuinely, running a strand of his blonde hair through my fingertips. Vince was looking really handsome today. He was shirtless and showing off all the muscles in his chest. The sight was a delicious temptation. We finally arrived at our seats and split into two groups. Mick, Vince, and I sat on one side of the walkway while Tommy and Nikki took the seats opposite us. I thought it worked out well that way. I liked being sandwiched between two of my best friends. It gave me the support I needed since I still got really nervous whenever I bored a train.
When lift off began, I closed my eyes sand buried my face into Vince's shoulder. Luckily, our plane rose into the air smoothly and there wasn't really any need for concern. After we were in the air and flying steadily towards our destination, a woman with a tray of drinks and snacks strode out next to our seats and asked, "Would you guys like anything to drink?"
"Yeah, how about some whiskey?" Vince asked hopefully. I rolled my eyes at him as the woman shook her head slowly and said, "We don't offer whiskey here. How about trying something nonalcoholic?" Vince, who was not used to being said no to, stuck out his bottom lip and shook his head. For some reason, Vince looked even cuter when he was pouting. I want to brush my lips against his lower one and stick my tongue in his mouth. But obviously now was not the time to do that.
"How about you, sweetie?" the woman asked, turning to me. "Would you like something to drink?" I considered the offer for a moment and then realized that I truly was thirsty. After looking over all the drinking options, I decided that I wanted some tomato juice. Okay, tomato juice doesn't exactly taste good, but it was suppose to be healthy.
The woman carefully poured me the tomato juice and then handed it to me. Just as I was reaching up to take it from her, the plane lurched downwards and the juice went splattering all over my spotless white tank top. I almost cursed, but then remembered that it probably wasn't a good idea to curse at a flight attendant. So instead, I bit my lip and stared daggers at the big, bright red stains that were now all over my top.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" the woman who had poured my drink apologized. I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and stalked past Vince and into the hallway, saying, "I'm going to try to wipe some of this stuff out of my shirt. I'll be right back in a little bit." The bathroom was only a few yards away from our seats at the back off the plan so I didn't have to walk too far to reach it.
Without bothering to knock, I charged right inside of it and slammed the door behind me. Taking a look in the mirror, I grimaced. The bright red stains were the first thing someone would notice when they would look at me. I tore off some paper towel and held it under the faucet for a few moments before trying to wipe it off my shirt.
No matter how hard I scrubbed at my shirt, the red stains remained stubborn and would not come out. In fact, all I managed to do was smear them. And of course, today was the day that I had decided to wear my black and red striped bra that easily showed throw my thin, soaked shirt. So what was I suppose to do now? I squinted in the mirror, shaking my head at my appearance. God, I looked terrible! The only thing I could do was sit here and wait for my shirt to dry out before I went back to my seat. I wasn't doing to risk the embarrassment of wearing a see through shirt.
After about an hour of boredom in the bathroom, the door popped open and a figure quickly shut it behind him. I whirled around to see who was invading my privacy of the bathroom. At first, I thought it might be some stranger, but when my gaze focused, I came face to face with Vince. The bathroom was narrow so we were standing only a few inches apart in the cramped space.
"Um, haven't you heard of knocking?" I asked Vince in annoyance, already in a bad mood. Seriously though, who entered a bathroom without knocking? Knocking was just a common courtesy. But Vince just grinned sexily at me and retorted, "Haven't you ever heard of locking the door?" Oops...I had forgotten that I hadn't locked the door. Oh well, it was too late for that now.
"Whatever," I snapped back, returning my gaze to my reflection. My shirt was still dripping wet. "So anyways, what do you want?" I turned back to Vince, frowning. Vince ignored my question and focused his gaze on my shirt. I glared at him and crossed my arms across my chest. It wasn't like I appreciated him looking at me right now.
"You know," Vince suggested casually, "your shirt would dry off a lot quicker if you took it off." Rolling my eyes, I replied, "Okay, well I'll do that once you leave. So unless you need something..." I pointed towards the bathroom door in a motion that told him to get out. But Vince had a mind of his own and had no intention of leaving.
Instead, he pushed me against the bathroom wall and took my lips into his mouth in an impulsive, passionate kiss. The gesture took me off guard and I just stood there in shock, still cornered against the wall. Vince kissed me again, this time harder and more urgently. His hands traveled through my hair until they reached my ponytail holder. Quickly, he slid the ponytail holder out of my hair. I frowned under his kiss as my long hair came swirling down to a few inches below my breasts.
When Vince came up for air, I narrowed my eyes at him and asked, "What was that for?" Vince shrugged, "You look like an angel with your hair down." And with no more explanation than that, he pressed his lips over mine and poked his tongue inside my mouth. At this point, I totally forgot about my hair as the adrenaline started rushing through my body and I started to feel the same need that Vince was obviously feeling. I had a strange desire to push him to the ground and lick up every bit of him.
Vince abruptly dropped his hands down to my waist. I was so busy kissing every bit of his neck that I didn't even realize he had unzipped my pants and was pulling them off. Vince was moving much faster than he usual did with me. It was as if our time away had made him even more determined to get what he wanted from me. When Vince yanked down my panties, I gave a little whimper and let him knock me to the ground. I pulled off his jeans as he his fingers roamed from my abdomen to my stomach. Next thing I knew, Vince's tongue was trailing along my bikini line, making me squirm.
I had totally forgotten that we were in the airplane by now. All that I could see was a naked Vince lying on top of my body, stroking my private parts and licking his lips lustily. I moaned again as Vince rubbed his body against mine, his cock brushing between my legs in a tantalizing manner.
"Goddamn, stop teasing me, Vince!" I groaned, wanting to thrust his hands inside of me. Vince, who had been kissing the inside of my left thigh, stopped momentarily with a look of surprise, "You actually want me to?" I waved the question away, wishing he would just go ahead and do something already, "Yeah, do what you have to do...just do something!"
Vince, looking shocked and pleased with himself at the same time, parted my legs and trailed a finger along the folds of my labia before pushing into my clitoris. By this time, I was dripping all over the floor and all over his finger, leaving it slick and sticky. My heart was pounding against my chest. It felt like a train was rumbling inside me. Just as Vince was about to make his next move, a bright light flickered on in the dark bathroom and a loud creaking noise sounded from the doorway.
That was when I remembered we were in the bathroom of the airplane. In my haste to figure out what was going up, I tried to sit up, which resulted in me banging my head against the toilet. I flopped back to the floor with a hand to my head, looking upwards to see where the light was coming from.
I just about had a heart attack when I saw Tommy silhouetted in the doorway of the bathroom with a look of shock on his face. Vince kept me shielded from Tommy as best as he could with his own body as he turned and said, "Oh hey, Tommy. What's up?" Tommy took one last look at Vince and I sprawled on the floor and then looked away, saying, "Um...just wanted you two to know that we've reached our destination and that everyone's leaving the plane so unless you want to be left here all alone, you might wanna get moving." Not evening waiting for Vince's reply, Tommy ran helter skelter out of the bathroom, throwing the door shut behind him in a hurry.
The romantic mood that Vince and I had been sharing two seconds ago seemed to have faded away with Tommy's intrusion. Vince colored slightly and said, "We need to remember to lock the doors next time." I nodded, still rubbing my head where it was now throbbing painfully. Vince put his arms around me and helped me to my feet. When he noticed my hand at my head, he gently kissed my forehead and asked, "Are you okay, babe?"
"Yeah, I guess," I said, pulling my clothes back on. "I hit my head on the toilet." Vince grimaced as he waited for me to get the rest of my clothes back on. After I had finally slipped my shirt back over my head, he grabbed my wrist and led me out of the bathroom whispering, "We'd better get out of here fast before we get into trouble for holding up the plane."
After exiting the plane and wandering into the airport, Vince and I searched for the rest of the Crue. I scanned the multitudes of people before me and complained, "How the hell are we ever going to find the others? There's like a million people here or something. Plus, we've got to make it to the baggage claim before they do something with my bags!"
Vince tightened his grip on my arm to reassure me and said in a gentle voice, "I'll be okay, girl. Just calm down. We'll find them." And as if by magic, I felt a tap on my shoulder just at that moment. Vince and I turned to see Mick, Nikki, and Tommy standing before us with their bags slung over their shoulders.
"Oh, there you guys are!" I smiled at them. "I see you've already gotten your bags..." Suddenly, my heart stopped beating. The guys had already been through the baggage claim and apparently they bags had already gone around. What would they have done with my bag? They didn't confiscate bags that weren't picked up right away...did they?
"You didn't happen to pick up my bag, did you?" I asked, panic seizing me and making me feel dizzy. Nikki and Mick exchanged glances and shook their heads simultaneously. Tommy hadn't looked at me once since he had found Vince and me in the bathroom earlier. He was acting as if I was poison or something. He didn't want to talk to me or look at me.
But I would have to wait to sort out my problem with Tommy. Right now, I needed to find my bag before it was too late. I glanced nervously up at Vince and said, "Let's go get our stuff. You know where the baggage claim is, right?" Vince nodded and we immediately started scurrying through the crowds of people.
But apparently, Vince didn't know where he was going because ten minutes later we still weren't at the baggage claim. As a matter of fact, we had no idea where we were. At this point, I was really panicking. What would I possibly do without my stuff? All my makeup, clothes, and everything important to me was stuffed inside that bag.
After about another half an hour of wandering around the airport aimlessly, we miraculously managed to stumble upon the baggage claim. At that point, there were no bags left though. A lump formed in my throat and I scanned the crowd for an employee. When I saw a woman in a uniform, I raced over to her and said tensely, "We were on the plane ride that got here about an hour ago. What happened to all the leftover bags from that flight?"
The woman looked nervously from me to Vince before replying nervously, "They're gone, Miss. I'm very sorry." Gone? My bags couldn't be gone! It wasn't as if they could just disappear! Not willing to believe this horrible news, I protested strongly, "What do you mean by 'gone'? What's happened to them?"
The woman stepped backwards from me, obviously thinking of me as a threat. In an even smaller, barely audible voice, she whispered, "I'm not quite sure where they are, but I do know that you won't be able to get them back." And before I could start yelling at her, she quickly turned on her heel and disappeared from view.
Hysteric, I burst into tears, burying my head in my hands. All my prized possessions were lost! I was stuck here in England without one familiar thing...all because I had almost let myself make love with Vince in the airplane bathroom. God, how stupid I had been! What was I suppose to do now? Fly back to California?
Vince wrapped his arms around my neck and brought me against his chest. I let him bring me close to him, soaking in the comfort of his warm body pressed against mine. Vine rubbed the back of my neck with his hand, "It'll be okay, baby. We'll get you everything you need as soon as we get checked in to the hotel. Hell, we'll be able to go shopping in London! Think about it...it might actually be fun, don't you think?"
I tried to dry my tears. Vince was right; it might actually be fun shopping in London. I had always dreamed about going to London when I was just a little girl. Hopefully, they'd have some really nice malls there! And of course, shopping was always more fun when you had a lover by your side.



The next afternoon, I was sitting in the stadium for the Crue's first big show. Even after the events of yesterday, last night ended up being a blast. As soon as we reached our hotel, Vince and I went down to London and shopped until we dropped. Vince bought me everything I needed without questioning the prices. He even bought me a pretty silver ring with a real emerald in it. At the moment, I was admiring how it sparkled in the light.
Once we had returned for our shopping trip, Vince and I checked back into our hotel room. I was so tired that I literally fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow. Luckily, Vince was responsible enough to know that he should leave me alone while I was so tired. So the next morning, I had helped the Crue get ready for their show and now here I was.
I had asked if I could stay backstage, but the security guards had kicked me out so I was forced to sit at the far left side of the stadium. I couldn't help but hope that Vince would stay to the left of the stadium so I could get a good view of him. He was the hottest member of the Crue by far, nobody could argue with that.
Suddenly, four figures rushed onto the stage and the audience erupted in applause. I gave a loud whoop and clapped along with the audience. Vince made an elegant, sweeping bow and walked over to the microphone. After adjusting it, he called out in a raspy voice, "Hey y'all, how's everyone doing today?"
Everyone in the stadium cheered. Vince grinned, "Well, I'm sure you'll be feeling good by the end of the show. We're gonna start with 'Live Wire.' Hit it, Tommy!" At Vince's command, Tommy obediently started a beat on his drums. I watched Vince throughout the whole song. I hoped he could see me, but figured he probably couldn't. After all, there were probably a thousand or more people in this huge stadium. So I just leaned back in my chair, listened to the music, and watched Vince run back and forth across the stadium with his blonde hair flying out behind him. He was wearing tight, red pants and tall, high-heeled boots. How he managed to run in those was something I would never know. I noticed that he was wearing a lot more makeup than usual too. His eyes were heavily rimmed with dark eyeliner and his lips were blood red.
Everything about the show went well until the very last song. Until that point, everything went perfectly. The crowd seemed to love the Crue, and the Crue seemed to be having a fun time playing. Nikki was actually smiling for once. But just as the show winded down to the end, a loud shout sounded from somewhere from the center of the stadium and something went hurtling towards the stage. I stared in dismay as it went flying through the air and smashed into Tommy's drum riser.
Squinting, I tried to make out what exactly had been thrown onto the stage. When I looked closer, I could see it was parts of some sort of animal...a cow by the looks of it. But that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that the cow's eyeball had gotten lodged right into Tommy's drum riser. God, it was a gruesome sight.
A loud protest roared up from many sides of the stadium, but it was too late to do anything about the mess on stage. The Crue just finished their song and headed backstage. Well...everyone but Nikki that is. Nikki was glaring at the audience with angry green eyes. I could tell by his expression that he wasn't about to let this go.
"You think that's funny, motherfuckers?" Nikki asked the audience in an angry tone. Impulsively, Nikki held up his bass and threw it...directly at me! I ducked as the bass flew over my head and smashed into a guy standing right behind me, breaking his glasses and cutting his head open. Little pieces of glasses went flying everywhere. One went flying into my neck. Disgusted by Nikki's behavior, I picked the glass out of my neck and noticed that it was oozing with thick, dark blood.
Not wanting to be caught in a riot, I quickly started pushing and shoving my way through the crowd away from the incident and to the exit. After about twenty minutes of feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere, I finally made it to the exit. I slithered between the last few people and ran into the fresh, uncrowded air. I wasn't exactly claustrophobic, but I sure didn't like big crowds.
Just as I was leaning against the wall of the backstage area, someone called my name. I blinked my eyes lazily, not wanting to move after fighting my way through the angry mob. I was tired and just wanted to relax for a few minutes. But unfortunately, the voice persisted, calling, "Amy! Are you okay? What happened to you? Your neck is bleeding."
"I'm okay," I insisted, smiling wearily at Vince, who was running towards me in his five-inch heeled boots. He slowed to a stop right in front of me and peered over at my neck. I followed his gaze and found that blood was streaming down my neck at an alarming rate and was soaking the top of my brand new shirt. Shit! Vince had paid a lot for that.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry," I apologized to Vince, hoping he wouldn't be angry at me. Vince pressed a light finger against my neck and then pulled it away. Dark, ugly blood dripped from his finger and puddled onto the ground. Frowning, Vince asked, "What are you apologizing for? It's not your fault that you got hurt. Speaking of which, how did you get hurt?"
"Um..." I started, looking over Vince's shoulder to make sure Nikki wasn't around. "Nikki sort of got mad after the performance and threw his bass into the audience." Vince's eyebrows shot up and he looked dubious, "Nikki threw his bass? Shit, he's going to regret that. We need to get you into a bathroom or something so you can clean up."
I nodded, frowning as the blood continued to flow from my neck in torrents. Wasting no more time, Vince grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him until we were backstage. Luckily, the bathroom was right next to the entrance of the backstage. Vince kicked the door open with his heel and led me inside.
Once we were inside, he dabbed my at my cut with a wet paper towel and then pressed the paper towel against it to stop the bleeding. I bit my lip to keep from whimpering as he held the cool cloth against my tender skin. I hadn't realized how far the glass had cut into my skin until now.
After about five minutes, Vince removed the paper towel and we both looked to see if the bleeding had stopped. To my surprise, the blood was no longer flowing, but there was an ugly zigzag cut on my neck. Vince scrutinized it for a moment and then said, "Do you have a bandage or anything you can put over that so you don't get an infection?"
I rummaged through my purse for a few minutes, back came up with nothing. Shaking my head, I replied, "No. It's kind of stupid that I don't have a bandage in my purse though. Remind me to put one in there when we get back to the hotel." Vince nodded, "Okay. You should put a bandage over your cut when you get back to the hotel though."
After a quick kiss on the mouth, Vince led me back out of the bathroom and down the steps that led up to the backstage. The Crue was standing in the parking lot adjacent to the changing room with a man and a woman who looked like she was the man's wife. I looked over at Vince and asked, "Who's that?"
Vince looked over at the man who was talking to Nikki and said, "Oh, that's Eddie Van Halen! Let's go say hi." Vince quickened his steps and practically dragged me along behind him as we reached Eddie Van Halen and his wife, Valerie. Just as we reached the group gathered in the parking lot, Nikki lifted up Eddie's shirt and bit him on the stomach.
I gave Nikki one of those are-you-out-of-your-mind looks. He was clearly having a violent day. But what shocked me even more, was when Vince said, "Hey man!" and bit Eddie on the wrist. Valerie was glaring at the Crue with disgust. It was pretty clear that she didn't approve of any of the biting. And truth be told, neither did I.
An awkward silence fell and when it started to get too awkward, I cleared my throat and said, "Maybe we should head back to the hotel now, hm?" Without waiting for a response, I linked my arm through Tommy's and Mick's and gave them a meaningful look. Luckily, Mick and Tommy seemed to get my clue because they agreed readily.
"Yeah, that's a good idea, Amy," Tommy responded as he began walking towards his corvette, "It was nice to see you though, Eddie!" Eddie waved as we walked away. It wasn't until we were almost to the car that I realized that Vince hadn't followed us. I looked over my shoulder to see where he was. To my shock, he was standing in the middle of the parking lot, watching us.
"Hey Vince," I shouted, "Whatcha doin'? Aren't you coming?" Vince shook his bleached blonde hair and called back, "Nah, I'm gonna...uh...do some things before I come back to the hotel. I'll be there in a little bit, okay?" Having no choice but to say okay, I shrugged and tried to put Vince out of my mind as I clamored into the corvette with Mick, Tommy, and Nikki.
But after we were out of the parking lot and onto the road, I couldn't help but continue to think about what Vince was up to. Knowing Vince, it wouldn't be good. Maybe I was better off not knowing what "things" he had to do.



Later that night, I was sitting on my bed, completely bored. I couldn't think of one single thing to do. Tommy, Mick, and Nikki had all gone down to some bar across the street. They had invited me to come with them, but I had decided not to go. I was having a hard enough time getting along with the sober Crue. A drunk Crue would be impossible to get along with.
So here I was, wasting my time in London all alone sitting on my bed. I supposed that I could go shopping or something, but decided against it. After all, I had just gone shopping yesterday and there was really no point in shopping again, especially for the fact that I had no money at the moment.
I was still considered what to do, when my door burst open without warning. Like usual, I had forgotten to lock the door. I was really going to have to write myself a note to lock the door everytime I entered and exited my room. I looked up from the bed to see who was at my door. Vince stood in the doorway almost looking like a vampire with his blood red lips, dark-rimmed eyes, and white face makeup. Vince kicked the door closed behind him and walked unsteadily into my room.
It was pretty clear that he was quite drunk. I could smell the stench of alcohol from him even from all the way across the room. Then I caught gaze of something else. Pink and red smears were visible all the way up and down Vince's neck. As he got closer, I noticed that his lipstick was besmirched all around his mouth.
Knowing that Vince had been making out with some other women, I couldn't say that I was all that glad to see him. I had assumed earlier that he was going to a strip club, but really, couldn't he at least be considerate enough to wipe the lipstick smudges off his neck? And now he was drunk as hell too. Great.
I folded my arms across my chest and watched him approach me on the bed. I kept my gaze cold and unwelcoming as he could a seat on the edge of my bed and turned towards me. His usually attentive blue eyes were unfocused and he didn't seem to be able to see me or something. Not sure if I really wanted a wasted guy sitting on my bed in the middle of the night, I spoke, "Um, Vince? What are you doing here? If you need to crash, you can crash in Mick's room, not here."
Vince squinted, as if he was trying to focus his gaze on me, "Well, duh. It's not like I don't know that." I frowned. So Vince wanted to be nasty too? Well, I wasn't going to allow him to stay then. I edged away from him on the bed and gave him an imperial look, saying, "Vince, you're really stoned. Why don't you get over to Mick's room? I don't want you here right now."
Vince narrowed his eyes at me and moved towards me, "I don't want to go to Mick's room." I moved even farther away from Vince and then stood up, "I don't care if you want to go to Mick's or not. Don't you see? I'm giving you an order. You don't have a choice. I want you to get out of here and go to Mick's room now whether you like it or not."
Smirking, Vince climbed off the bed as well so that he was standing right in front of me, "You know, I do have a choice, Amy. Who's gonna force me out of here? You? Don't tell me you're stupid enough to force me out of here. I'm much stronger than you and you know it." Vince's hands were clawing at my shoulders and sliding down my shirt.
"Vince, come on, this isn't funny," I pleaded with him. "Didn't you get enough sex with the other sluts you were with this afternoon?" Vince's eyes widened in surprise. I went on, "Don't think I don't know that you were with other bitches because you've got lipstick all down your neck. So just go and leave me alone, will ya?"
Vince's jaw hardened and he just stared at me for a moment. His hand dropped to his tight red pants and he removed something from a pocket and held it in front of my chest. To my surprise, it was a little pocket knife. I backed against the wall, murmuring, "Uh, Vince? What exactly are you doing with that?"
Without replying, Vince followed me to the corner and thrust the knife down my shirt, slicing it in half. Next thing I knew, Vince had sliced through my bra as well, leaving me topless, scared, and pressed against the wall. Trying to keep my voice steady, I said, "Vince, put the knife away...seriously, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Vince smirked and slipped the knife away. Still smirking, he said, "Fine. Have it your way. Your body isn't nearly as nice as Beth Lynn's anyways. And you've got the smallest tits I've ever seen." Vince raised a foot and kicked me hard in the stomach before turning on his heel and disappearing out my bedroom door, slamming it behind him.
I stood paralyzed against the wall for a few minutes. What the hell had just happened? Vince had never, ever treated me like this before. True, he was known to get nasty when he was drunk, but I just hadn't ever seen him like this before. But what was bothering me the most, was what he had said about me.
Was it true that I had a crappy body? I had tried so hard to be paper thin and pretty like all those supermodels, but apparently I wasn't thin enough for Vince. Lately, I had been trying to eat a little because I had been worried about the consequences of not eating. You know, hair loss and things like that. But now? Now I would have to stop eating all together and try harder to get thin. What Vince had said about me having small tits was probably true, but I couldn't do much about that.
Suddenly, I found that I was crying. Tears were splashing down my cheeks and spilling onto the floor. I brushed them away irritably and told myself firmly that I should not be crying. Vince's opinion of me didn't matter. But if it didn't matter to me, then why was I obsessing about how I could get thinner and look as good or better than Beth Lynn?
I tried to put all those thoughts aside as I crossed my room and started digging through my suitcase for another shirt. Vince, damn him, had ruined my perfectly good shirt and bra. Just as I was selecting a top, the door to my hotel room clicked open for a second time. I held the shirt up against my chest and called out, "Um, can you close your eyes for just a sec?"
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that it was Tommy who had entered to my room. Thank god it was Tommy and not Nikki! Tommy obediently shut his eyes as I slipped on a new bra and tank top. Once I was dressed modestly again, I called back to Tommy, "Okay, you can open your eyes now. Sorry about that."
Tommy opened his eyes and looked around the room suspiciously. His gaze fell on my other top and bra that were still lying on the floor. Then his gaze turned so that he was looking right into my glazed eyes. Concern filled his face and he quickly stepped across the floor and put his arms around me gently.
"Amy, what happened? You didn't get raped...did you?" Tommy asked nervously. I shook my head and leaned against Tommy's shoulder, "No. Vince came in really wasted though. He had lipstick smears all down his neck." Tommy made a sound of disapproval from the back of his throat and held me comfortingly against his chest. I liked Tommy's hugs. They always made me feel better. Maybe it was because Tommy was so much taller than me and I felt protected with him around.
"Vince...he said that Beth Lynn had a better body than me..." I trailed off, just wanting to tell someone about how hurtful Vince's words had been to me. Abruptly, Tommy pulled away from me and put his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him curiously, wondering why he had stopped our embrace.
"Amy, look at me," Tommy ordered sternly. I did as I was told at looked up into Tommy's dark brown eyes. Tommy continued, "I don't want you to believe anything that bastard says, alright? Your body is just fine. You're much skinnier than Beth Lynn and much prettier. I don't want you to try to starve yourself again because of what Vince said."
I looked down at my feet and didn't answer. How did Tommy know that I had already thought of that idea? Tommy persisted, "Amy, come on. Promise me you won't starve yourself. I know you seem to want Vince, but he's just not good for you. Both of you are so different. You're so small and fragile and Vince is wild and fucked up most of the time."
"Fine, I won't try to starve myself," I muttered resignedly as Tommy put a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him again. "Happy now?" Tommy nodded and sat down onto my bed. I plopped down next to him and rested against his shoulder, still in need of comfort. I was like a little girl who looked up to Tommy.
"I guess," Tommy sighed, answering my question from earlier. "I'm serious about Vince though, Amy. Why don't you stay away from Vince for a while? We really need to find you a different boyfriend you know." I shrugged, unsure of whether or not staying away from Vince would be a good thing. Sometimes he could be really sweet and loving, but at other times, he could be harsh, fucked up, and just plain mean.
"Whatever happened to you and Izzy anyway?" Tommy asked, looking at me curiously. "You two seemed to get along really well. Much better than you and Vince anyways." I frowned, "Izzy and I are taking a break. Didn't I already tell you that?" Tommy looked away sheepishly. Tommy had a lot on his mind right now. It wasn't really a surprise if he couldn't keep all my relationships straight in his head. As a matter of fact, it was hard for me to keep them straight.
"So what are you going to do know?" Tommy asked, getting up from the couch and taking off the silver chains from around his neck. I glanced at the time; it was eleven. Probably a good time to go to sleep. Yawning, I replied to Tommy, "I think I'm just gonna head to bed. It's kind of been a long day, you know? Besides, we have to fly to Germany tomorrow morning, right?"
"Yeah, so make sure you're up early," Tommy said before grabbing some clothes and heading into the bathroom to change. I made a face as soon as he was gone. Getting up early wasn't something I was very fond of. Besides, I was tired and just wanted to sleep for as long as I wanted to.
Getting out of the bed, I crossed the room, flicked of the lights, and then returned to my bed. I curled up under the sheets without even bothering to get changed. Sleep was calling me and everything else could wait.



The next morning went by in a blur for me. Tommy woke me up bright and early and all I had time to do was to rake through my hair and throw on a little makeup before he had hustled me out of the door. After that, we arrived at the airport and just managed to catch our flight to Nuremberg, Germany. As soon as we were there, there wasn't time to go to the hotel. Instead, we drove straight to the stadium where Crue was to be playing with Van Halen.
"Ooo, it looks like there's gonna be a big crowd here today!" Tommy remarked as he parked his corvette into the reserved parking section of the parking lot. I blinked at looked around the stadium. It was very large and it was almost already packed. I tried to hide my sleepiness as I slowly exited the car and followed Tommy automatically up towards the backstage area.
I hadn't even seen the other Crue members yet this morning. Mick, Nikki, and Vince were already waiting for us backstage. As soon as I saw Vince, I slowed my steps and kind of hid behind Tommy's tall figure. I wasn't sure what to expect from Vince after last night, but knowing Vince, it wouldn't be good.
As we approached the other three drowsy guys, I snuck a look at Vince. To tell the truth, he looked absolutely terrible. His blonde hair was sticking up all over the place, his blue eyes were glassy, and he looked very pale. Tommy was the only CRue member who seemed at least half-awake today.
"Hey y'all!" he said, smiling through dark red lips. "We'd better get changed and ready for the show. Did you guys bring your gear?" Everyone nodded simultaneously. Tommy clapped me on the shoulder and said, "We're gonna go get ready for the show, Amy. Are you just gonna hang out here?"
I shrugged, "Yeah, I guess." Tommy waved before disappearing in the changing room with the other Crue members. Yawning, I flopped down on the hard floor. There might have been chairs around, but I was much too tired to go look for them right now. Right now, I just wanted to sit around and be lazy.
But of course, as soon as I had settled myself in the corner and had closed my eyes, my phone started beeping with an irritatingly loud ring. I was going to just let it ring, but a few people backstage were shooting me disapproving looks. Cursing under my breath, I dug the phone out of my pocket and muttered, "Hello?"
"Hi there Amy!" a chipper voice exclaimed from the other end of the line, "How are you doing?" In my dreamlike state, I couldn't quite identify who this person was. But regardless of who it was, I immediately felt better. I guess ther person's cheerful attitude was influencing me. That was good; I definitely needed some cheering up this morning.
"I'm...," I paused, unsure of how I was doing. Truthfully, I was doing terrible. First of all, I was very tired. And secondly, I was still really upset about last night with Vince. His words had really hurt me. But not wanting to tell all of this to the mysterious person on the phone, I finished my sentence by lamely saying, "I'm okay. How about you? And, uh, not to be rude or anything, but who exactly are you? Sorry, it's early and I'm having a hard time staying awake right now."
There was a laugh from the other end, "It's okay, no need to apologize! Although, it's not exactly early. It's one in the afternoon! Anyways, this is Steven. You know, the Steven who you invited to join the Hollywood Rose?"