FicWad

Hi to whoever is reading this! Just to let everyone know, this story takes place in 1979. This is my first Metallica fiction and parts of it are based on fact although Olivia is totally fictional. I REALLY would appreciate reviews on this, so if you have time, please write one! Hope you like the story. :)


Have you ever felt like you were drowning? Like the whole world was pulling you down and there was nothing you could do about it? Well, that's what my life was like. It wasn't always like that though. In fact, the beginning of my life was actually pretty good. I had lived in a small house with my parents and we had all been a nice, normal family. But after my dad died from a car crash, everything changed. My mom immediately sold our house and packed only our essential belongs. I can still remember the day that she came home from work, told me my father was dead, and then told me to go and pack my clothes because we were leaving tomorrow morning.

And that's exactly what we did. We left bright and early by the crack of dawn and never set sight on our old house again. We didn't even give my dad a proper funeral. I was only six years old at the time, and didn't really understand what was happening. What was happening was something big though, something that would change my life forever. Ever since we moved, my life started going downhill.

As soon as we had driven a safe distance from our old home, my mom picked out an old, scrawny shack for our new home. I remember scowling at the sight of it and thinking that my mom was crazy to want to buy a house like this. Little did I know just how much my mom was changing. She went from a caring, loving mother to the opposite of that; a bitch who could care less about her only daughter. She didn't change right away; it happened over a period of time.

I don't know if it was the loss of my dad that changed her or if this was her real personality, but that was something I would never know. As the years went on, we grew more and more apart. By the time I turned sixteen, she had kind of gone crazy. She had become a drunk and spent all her time at home with a steady supply of alcohol by her side. Sometimes she didn't recognize me, but what was worse was when she began to take her anger out on me. It started when I was sixteen. I remember the scene quite clearly. I had walked inside our little shack and had been about to sneak upstairs unnoticed when my mom suddenly turned towards me with an anger in her eyes that I had never seen before.

With flashing eyes and red cheeks, she grabbed my arms roughly and started shaking me like a mad woman. I was so surprised at first that I just stared at her with wide eyes. When I finally found my voice, I questioned, "Mom? Mom, are you alright? What's wrong? Did I do something?"

"Did you do something?" she echoed me, cheeks turning even redder. "Of course you did something! We're going to lose our house unless we can somehow afford to pay the rent at the end of this month and you and I both know that we don't have enough money to pay the rent. And why don't we have enough money to pay the rent? Because of you! If I hadn't had a daughter, I could easily pay the rent and wouldn't have to be worried about being evicted out of my own house!"

Gulping, I answered, "Um, I could get a job or something after school. You know, so we could pay the rent?" My mom cursed loudly and slapped me hard on the cheek. It was so hard that my skin burned and stung for several long minutes. Mom cornered me against the wall in our small living room and sneered, "You'd better get a job, you ungrateful little bitch! You've been eating my food and living in my house for your entire life. You better pay me back for everything you've stolen from me!"

"S-stolen?" I question, thinking my mom had totally lost it at this point. Why in the world would she think that I had stolen her food? She was my mother; she was suppose to take care of me for god's sake! But she didn't seem to realize that. Her next motion was a punch in my right eye. I blinked with the pain and cowered in the corner of the room, wondering what else she would do to me. The woman before me, who no longer seemed like a mother, shrieked, "Of course you've stolen it! You think I would willingly share everything I earn with a daughter I never wanted?"

That remark hurt worse than the slap had. So she had never wanted me? I had always wondered if my mom had really wanted a daughter. I guess I finally knew the answer to that question. Mom raised her foot and kicked me hard in the stomach, causing me to double over and slide to the floor. Flinching and shuddering from the pain, I lay beneath her on the floor, wondering if it was her intent to kill me or if she planned to continue this attack.

To my relief, she just stared down at me for a few minutes before turning away from me and stalking into her bedroom. I lay there on the floor for a very long time. I had never imagined that my mother would try to abuse me, but she just had and there was nothing I could do about it. At the time, I had hoped it would be a one time thing. But I was wrong.

It became a habit for me to become her punching bag. In the last week, I couldn't remember a day when she hadn't hit me or kicked me. Sometimes I thought about leaving, running far away where no one could find me. I wasn't stupid enough to do that though. I mean, where would I go once I had escaped my mom? I didn't know any of my relatives and I didn't have a single friend.

In school, I had become a silent girl who kept to herself and made no effort to make friends. After being alone with my mom for so long, I didn't think I wanted human companionship. I just wanted to be alone for the rest of my life. Up until I started tenth grade, everyone had left me alone. I was just the invisible girl at school who everyone left alone and ignored. I was happy that way. Unfortunately, once tenth grade started my life took a spin in an entire different direction.

After I started tenth grade, several changes happened that would change my life forever. I would lose my will to live, lose any feelings I still possessed, and I would become a living girl with a dead soul. I actually turned to praying for death, but as I'm obviously still alive, that prayer was never answered. I also prayed for an angel. An angel was just what I needed to save me through my living nightmare. Did I get my angel? Well, you'll have to wait and see. But let's back up a little bit and go back to my first day of tenth grade. That was the day when everything changed.

~ ~ ~ ~

I awoke to the sound of the radio blaring from my alarm. Flipping onto my opposite side, I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep. I figured it was just another lazy day in summer and I might as well sleep in for a few hours just for the sole purpose of avoiding my mom. Just as my eyelids were closing again, I jerked up into a sitting position in the bed and looked wildly at the calendar above my bed. Shit, it was September 8 - the day I started 10th grade!

Wasting no time, I sprung out of the bed and ran for my closet to find something to wear. I found a short white skirt and a lacy brown tank top to put with it. It was one of my few outfits. My mom didn't have much money to spare and so new clothes for me were a rarity. As a matter of fact, I hadn't had new clothes in year. Oh well, clothes weren't the most important thing.

After stuffing some school books into my bag, I headed for the bathroom. I combed the knots out of my long brown hair and applied a little lip gloss to my lips and some brown eyeshadow to highlight my eyes. Staring at the mirror, I took in my entire look. What I saw in the mirror was a girl who looked like maybe she was thirteen or fourteen.

I had always been small. Everything about me was small. I had never reached five feet in height and figured I never would at this point. Being so short and slender definitely made me look younger. It would be easy to mistake me for a middle schooler. It wasn't like I could do anything about being short though. There was never enough to eat at my house and I figured that maybe that had been the cause of my lack of growth. But no matter to that now, what is done is done.

As quiet as a mouse, I snuck down the old wooden stairs to the living room, careful to avoid the step that creaked. If I were lucky, my mom would still be asleep and wouldn't even notice that I had left the house for school. Taking a quite look around the living room, I confirmed my hypothesis that she was still asleep and so I snuck out the back door and onto the sidewalk.

My high school was only a block away from my house and within walking distance. I walked quickly to school this morning, wrapping my arms around my chest as I went to keep all my body heat in. It was a cool morning in Downey, California. The wind whipped through the air and the sky was dark.

Once I reached the school building, I shuffled inside without looking at anybody. I had learned a long time ago that if you don't pay attention to people, people usually return the favor and don't pay attention to you. Having been at this school last year as well, I knew exactly where my first class was.

Without dawdling or stopping to chitchat with anyone, I strode straight to class and took a seat in the very back. As was my routine, I pulled out a novel I had been reading from my book bag and read until class started. While I read, several students took their seats around me, talking excitedly about the newest gossip and about their summers. I zoned all of this out and focused on my book until the teacher's voice sounded, signifying the beginning of class.

Sighing, I stuffed my novel back into my bag and focused on the geometry book in front of me. Mrs. Anderson, our geometry teacher, cleared our throat and announced, "Hello class! Welcome to 10th grade geometry. I'm sure we will all become great friends this year. I recognize most of your smiling little faces, but I have two newcomers to introduce you to."

I couldn't help but smirk at Mrs. Anderson's words because no one was smiling. On the contrary, everyone looked like they had completely zoned out. Most people were staring out the window or sneakily passing notes to their neighbors. I was probably the only one who was paying the slightest bit of attention to Mrs. Anderson.

Mrs. Anderson must've taken the clue that no one was listening to her speech because she cleared her throat loudly before continuing, "This is Ray and James, class. They're new to our school and I expect you to help them learn the protocol and what is expected from them here." Turning to Ray and James, she added, "Go ahead and sit wherever you want."

I couldn't help but find myself staring at the two new boys. The first boy, Ray, was tall and very muscular. He had a very broad chest and I knew instantly that he was very strong and could easily outdo anyone here if he got into a fight. He was tanned and his white-blonde hair was of average length. But what I noticed most about him, was his ocean blue eyes. They were eyes that seemed friendly at first, but had something hidden underneath them. It made this boy mysterious.

The second boy, James, was anything but mysterious. He was tall and gangly, but very skinny, unlike Ray. His long, blonde locks traveled midway down his back and his skin was a couple of shades lighter than Ray's. James caught me staring at him and gave me a friendly smile. It was an infatuating smile that sent shivers down my spine and left my cheeks burning red.

While I returned my gaze to my geometry textbook, I heard approaching footsteps coming towards me. I ignored them at first, but then finally looked up when they continued to come closer. To my surprise and shock, Ray had taken the desk to my left while James had taken the desk to my right. That was strange...very strange. Nobody ever sat by me. It was like an unspoken rule or something. Everyone seemed to know that I needed to have my personal space.

Not sure whether or not I liked this sudden attention, I looked sideways at both the boys. Ray was watching me with a brooding expression while James was already staring at his geometry book like it was written in another language. They both seemed like nice boys from their appearances, but appearances don't always show everything. Little did I know that after today, I would never want anything to do with either of these boys ever again.