FicWad

Sanji poked cautiously at the large, orange, dead-looking thing that the Marimo had dumped unceremoniously onto his kitchen counter. Said Marimo was now looking at him from the side like there was some kind of reward involved.


“And what do you call this thing?” Sanji asked, chewing on the nicotine gum like it was his life source.


Zoro shrugged. “Dinner ala Zoro.”


Sanji glared. “You know, basic survival instincts usually tell you that brightly coloured things are often poisonous. Thank you for validating my suspicions that you do not, in fact, have any survival instincts to speak of.”


“Che, that’s what I get for trying to help,” Zoro mumbled, turning to walk out of the galley.


“Hey! Take your… thing with you!” Sanji called, and gave a satisfied scowl when Zoro returned.


“Sorry, I forgot that being pregnant makes you ~frail~” Zoro teased, and lumped the thing over his shoulder with such force that several spurts of purple fluid flew out of its mouth.


Sanji bristled. “Asshole!” He hissed, “ and what if the girls heard you?!”


Zoro rolled his eyes. “They already know, I’ve told you this before. And even if they didn’t, everyone’s going to know that I ~deflowered~ your ~rose~ pretty soon anyway.”


Sanji spat the gum into the bin and picked up the nearby mop, only to crack it over the swordsman’s head. “Clean the damn fish blood off of my floor, or yours will be joining it,” Sanji threatened lowly, glaring at the other man.


“It’s more of a fungus than a rose…” Zoro countered, but began to mop the kitchen floor begrudgingly anyway.


Sanji ignored him and stormed out, slightly sunburnt feet padding against the warm deck. Since the rain had stopped, the sun had apparently decided to intensify in heat about a million times, and began burning all the puny humans on the planet to a crisp like tiny little ants. The sun was something that Sanji was not very fond of. It made his skin singe and peel and that wasn’t very becoming for the girls to see, so he was forced to wear his black suit around the ship in stupidly hot weather. They’d been docked at Epona for just over a week now, and the weather had been like this for a few days, which had forced Sanji to wear said suit at mealtimes or to bring the girls’ their colourful drinks. At some point the cook had nearly fainted from the heat which, in turn, caused Chopper to confiscate all winter gear and formal wear from Sanji’s trunk until the weather cooled down.


Zoro had laughed when he saw the reddish stains on his body that night, had poked at the sore peeled patches until Sanji kneed him in the thigh and told him to stop doing that if he wanted to get laid ever again. Zoro bought him a bottle of sun block at the market the next day.


In fact, Zoro gave him a lot of things (even if he hadn’t bought them with his own money). The fish, the sun block, booze at the bar occasionally. And this baby thing. Sanji sighed. Zoro was such an ass.


He fished around the pockets of his swimming trunks for a moment before he produced a mostly full packet of cigarettes. He stared at it mournfully in his palm for a minute before he threw the thing overboard. It was only nine months.


***


They ate dinner as usual, and then returned to the deck for a party of sorts. A bundle of candles created a mock-campfire as Usopp told ridiculously far-fetched stories to the rest of the crew, about dragons and mermaids and a hero called Sogeking. Chopper, Luffy and Brook listened intently while the others lounged around distantly, listening but not really paying attention.


As Sanji looked up at the sky, he scanned the stars and the moon fondly, at the distant orange glow on the horizon of the day leaving them languidly. Sanji decided that growing up on a pirate ship probably wouldn’t be that bad for the kid. It had people around it that would look after it at least.


The next day, the crew set out from Epona, once again heading into an endless blend of sea and sky after having changed course.


“But why can’t we go and visit all those other islands?” Luffy whined with a dramatic pout, sitting on the large sofa in the Aquarium Bar with his legs crossed and holding his ankles boyishly.


Nami glanced up at him agitatedly from studying her map; her feet were rested on the bar table at the centre of the room lethargically, a slightly crumpled map resting on her thighs and her sunglasses pressed up onto her head. “Because the other five islands on the Glordonia chain are marine towns! If we go within ten kilometres of the next island we’ll be ambushed by at least twenty patrol ships. Those islands are fortresses and I’m sorry but they’re just things we can do without right now,” she explained, slightly exasperated from the captain’s complaints.


“But they’re adventures!” Luffy protested, sounding as though he were close to tears. “Think of all the treasure we could get, or the people we’d meet!” He added, his voice filled with childlike wonder.


Nami’s brow twitched with frustration at the sound of any money she could be missing out on, but she knew better. She rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes tiredly, before speaking slowly to the boy like he was far younger than his actual age. “Luffy, these islands may be marine towns but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re full of riches. The other islands of Glordonia are called the ‘Ugly Stepsister Islands’ because they have very boring natural terrains, they’re not wealthy in the slightest and they are totally dominated by the marines. The most fun you’d ever have there would be watching the paint dry on their dull, grey buildings.” She finished, opening her brown eyes and looking over at Luffy pointedly.


Luffy frowned once more but then announced that he was hungry, despite only having finished lunch less than half an hour ago, and headed for the galley for something to eat. Nami sighed once he had left, happy that he had bought her story.


“Ugly Stepsister Islands? That’s an interesting name,” Robin said from the side with a slight smile on her elegant features.


“Yeah well, I’d like to see you do better,” Nami said, and went back to studying her map. “Don’t, though,” she said, knowing that the other woman probably had a whole list of better lies in her intelligent mind. Robin only giggled softly.


“MAAAARIIINES!!!” Usopp bellowed from the deck, and Nami sighed loudly.


“I knew this would happen,” she said, and planted the map down on the table irritably, almost knocking the ornamental decanter off of the surface.


Robin stood and joined Nami as the two women ran to the deck. Once there they joined the rest of the crew in their battle preparations as the two heavily armed marine ships approached from the starboard side. Zoro drew Wadou and placed her between his teeth excitedly, Usopp ran, screaming, to the cannons, Chopper fearfully became his human-reindeer form, Nami connected the poles of her staff together and Sanji tapped his foot on the wooden deck in anticipation. Luffy eventually emerged from the galley, half a loaf of bread in his mouth and chewing lazily.


Sanji and Zoro exchanged a brief, worried look, but they adverted their eyes as soon as they connected.


‘Che, think that I can’t look after myself, fucking Marimo,” Sanji thought, turning his gaze to the quickly approaching ships.


Within minutes they were being boarded, and the Sunny erupted in a flurry of blood and combat: swords flying, legs kicking, men screaming, feet stomping, ammunition flaring. The fight went on for almost three hours, until Robin’s handiwork with the naval ships and Usopp’s assistance with the cannons successfully sank both ships, leaving the few surviving men to return to their little island with their asses in their hands on a couple of salvaged dinghies.


Unfortunately, this meant that they then had to sail away from the apparently dangerous waters of Hone-Onna, which was some distance away-- really too far away to be attacked by her patrol ships. Franky used his remaining energy on a Coup de Boo to get them away from the island as quickly as they could. It took about a day or so off of their journey, so they wouldn’t need to worry about any more marine ships at least.


They were soon in the liberating open water of the Grand Line, and heading towards their next adventure, but Sanji had decided to retire to his bedroom as he was feeling completely shattered after their fight. Luffy moaned a little at the cook’s lack of kitchen-dwelling, as this meant that dinner probably wouldn’t be done yet. Nami clocked him over the head and told him that it was only three thirty.


Sanji kicked his shoes off and panted as he stripped his torso of his dark blue tee, throwing it on the floor and crumpling the word ‘GENTLECOOK’ across the surface. He then hurriedly unbuckled his denim shorts and threw both them and his boxers on the floor of the men’s quarters. Groaning painfully, he threw himself down into his hammock and lay breathing heavily for some time. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there before the door creaked open; all he could think about was the hot pain surging around beneath his skin and throbbing in his head. His hand had been resting against his lower abdomen ever since the end of the fight, and he didn’t become aware of his surroundings again until a familiar one covered his.


“Sanji,” Zoro said, voice unusually kind, “can you hear me?”


He thought he nodded. Then again it might’ve been the blood vessels rupturing in his neck.


“Okay,” Zoro whispered, probably nervous at seeing the normally cocky blond so weak like this. “I’m going to get Chopper.”


Sanji didn’t even protest. He didn’t think he was really in a position to do so.


He vaguely felt Zoro pulling his boxers onto his hips, thankful that the moron at least had the decency to do that. He didn’t remember anything else; he simply let the darkness claim him.


**


When he woke up, the sun was filtering in through a window to his right, and though the sudden sunlight was unwelcome to his tired eyes, it felt nice to be warmed by it. He sat up slowly, cringing at the movement - just how long had be been asleep? - and after a few delirious moments, he remembered everything that had happened. He had passed out..? His hand immediately travelled to his abdomen, and he was first glad to feel the smoothness of his skin and not a bandage, and also at the slight arc his hand had to make to cover it. He sighed and laid back down again, but turned his head on the pillow to look around the room. The infirmary.


Sanji lay there for several minutes, until he turned his head around to look at the door as it opened. To his surprise, Zoro walked in, hands in his pockets and a belligerent expression on his face, as though the very fact he was coming to visit the shitty cook annoyed him - he hadn‘t noticed that the blond had woken up yet. For some unknown reason, Sanji closed his eyes to pretend he was still asleep.


Zoro seemed to take an eternity to walk over to him, fiddling with things on the desk and dragging his feet. He finally sat down in Chopper’s swivel chair, a couple of feet away, and face the far wall.


“Shitty cook, over-exerting yourself like that…” he mumbled, and Sanji had the distinct impression he’d probably said it quite a lot while he’d been out cold. Depending on how long he’d been out. But Zoro continued. “I’m not one for sentiments, but… hah…” Zoro made a familiar rough noise; the sound his hair made when Sanji ran his fingers through it.


“Just… don’t fuck up like that again, okay? There’s something else sharing your body, you can’t just go and do selfish things like taking on thirty marines all by yourself.”


“Well maybe if you’d given me a hand instead of dancing around with your swords pretending to be a swordsman, fuckface.”


“What the f- how long have you been awake?” Zoro asked incredulously, and Sanji opened his eyes to see the confused, angry, relieved and somewhat red face of his lover.


“About an hour,” Sanji replied, glaring at him from the pillow.


“You could’ve said something!” Zoro said, eyes wide.


“It was more interesting to keep my eyes closed,” Sanji said with an evil smile.


Zoro rolled his eyes. “You’re fucked up,” he mumbled.


“And you’re a moron. What time is it?”


“Four thirty,” Zoro replied.


“Oh, well I still have time to make dinner, then,” Sanji said, glancing out the window. “Everyone must be hungry from the fight.”


Zoro blinked at him. “That was three days ago.”


“What?!” Sanji yelled, “what the hell happened?”


“You overexerted yourself, like I said. Chopper said the heat and then the fight did something to your system.” Zoro snorted. “Just like I said, ~frail~.”


“And whose fault is that, shithead?” Sanji quipped, glaring.


“Whatever,” Zoro replied, cleaning his ear out with his little finger and then wiping it on the bed sheet to Sanji‘s dismay, “just hurry up and get your bony ass out of bed, we’re hungry.


“I missed you too,” Sanji called after the other man, who simply ignored him and shut the door. When he had left, Sanji slumped back down on the mattress (careful to avoid Zoro’s contribution) and sighed. Well, at least he cared enough to visit him.


A few minutes after Zoro had left, Chopper came in and gave him some pills that he explained would stop the panging in his head. Within an hour or so the pills had kicked into effect and Sanji felt well enough to return to the galley, where he began preparing dinner.


He was nearly finished with chopping the vegetables when Robin came in through the galley door holding a book. Sanji turned to face her with a bright smile (three long days without his Nami or his Robin had made him weaker, evidently) and he felt the energy return full-force.


“Hello, Robin-chwaaan~” he swooned, a bright pink heart where his eye should be as usual. “I missed you~~”


Robin chuckled and sat down at the table. “Good afternoon, Cook-san,” she answered, “how are you feeling?”


“Ah, Robin-chan is so caring,” Sanji said, turning to finish chopping the carrots, “I’m feeling much better now that I’ve seen you.”


“I’m glad to hear that.” Robin crossed her legs and smiled. “I have to say, you had us all rather worried when you suddenly went to sleep for so long,” she explained.


“Ah, I’m so sorry to have worried you like that,” Sanji said, putting the vegetables into a pan and placing it on the hob.


“You know, Sanji-san, we’re all very worried for you. You haven’t been well ever since we left Salrynn,” the dark-haired woman replied, placing her chin on her hand. “I hope you haven’t got a bug…”


“Ah, no, nothing of the sort,” Sanji replied, and finally turned to face her. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”


“How far along are you?” She asked suddenly.


“Wh-what?!” Sanji yelled, and then regained his composure. “I mean- what do you mean?” Was she psychic or something?


“You know what I mean, Cook-san.” She answered seriously.


Sanji stared at her. “Excuse me a moment, Robin-chan,” he said quietly, storming out of the galley to find Zoro. No way he was facing this conversation alone.


Zoro’s meditative peace was interrupted rather rudely when he felt a heavy foot connect with the side of his head. “Shithead, come with me,” Sanji said, in a voice that Zoro, in his tranquil state, did not even try to argue with.


When they entered the galley Sanji was all sunshine and happiness and apologizing for the interruption. “Zoro, please explain to Robin what’s been happening for the last few weeks. She knows.”


Zoro blinked a few times in surprise but decided it was easier to just talk about it. Everyone would know soon anyway. “Well, you know me and Sanji have been fucking for nearly a year? Well, recently I knocked him up.”


The silence that followed was deadly, only punctuated by a brief giggle from Robin.


“What?” Sanji said deeply, brow furrowed with rage. Zoro was officially no longer allowed to explain things. Ever. In fact, Sanji would make sure he wouldn’t speak for at least a month after this.


“Cook-san,” Robin said finally, “please don’t be too angry. I knew before Doctor-san did, I read about it in this book,” she finished, and stood to hand it to the blond.


Sanji looked at the cover for a minute and read over the words ‘SALRYNN: Goddess of the Legendary Land’.


“Read it,” Robin said, “I think it will explain a lot of things to you both.” Then she turned to leave. Before she shut the door, she turned and said: “I won’t say anything.”


Zoro left soon after her to continue meditating, and Sanji hid the book beneath the spice rack to read after dinner.


**


That last part is very mashed up and the whole thing is extremely disjointed (as well as a few mistakes I may have made), but I updated! Yay!

Sanji poked cautiously at the large, orange, dead-looking thing that the Marimo had dumped unceremoniously onto his kitchen counter. Said Marimo was now looking at him from the side like there was some kind of reward involved.



"And what do you call this thing?" Sanji asked, chewing on the nicotine gum like it was his life source.



Zoro shrugged. "Dinner ala Zoro."



Sanji glared. "You know, basic survival instincts usually tell you that brightly coloured things are often poisonous. Thank you for validating my suspicions that you do not, in fact, have any survival instincts to speak of."



"Che, that's what I get for trying to help," Zoro mumbled, turning to walk out of the galley.



"Hey! Take your... thing with you!" Sanji called, and gave a satisfied scowl when Zoro returned.



"Sorry, I forgot that being pregnant makes you ~/frail~" /Zoro teased, and lumped the thing over his shoulder with such force that several spurts of purple fluid flew out of its mouth.



Sanji bristled. "Asshole!" He hissed, " and what if the girls heard you?!"



Zoro rolled his eyes. "They already know, I've told you this before. And even if they didn't, everyone's going to know that I ~/deflowered~ /your /~rose~ /pretty soon anyway."



Sanji spat the gum into the bin and picked up the nearby mop, only to crack it over the swordsman's head. "Clean the damn fish blood off of my floor, or yours will be joining it," Sanji threatened lowly, glaring at the other man.



"It's more of a fungus than a rose..." Zoro countered, but began to mop the kitchen floor begrudgingly anyway.



Sanji ignored him and stormed out, slightly sunburnt feet padding against the warm deck. Since the rain had stopped, the sun had apparently decided to intensify in heat about a million times, and began burning all the puny humans on the planet to a crisp like tiny little ants. The sun was something that Sanji was not very fond of. It made his skin singe and peel and that wasn't very becoming for the girls to see, so he was forced to wear his black suit around the ship in stupidly hot weather. They'd been docked at Epona for just over a week now, and the weather had been like this for a few days, which had forced Sanji to wear said suit at mealtimes or to bring the girls' their colourful drinks. At some point the cook had nearly fainted from the heat which, in turn, caused Chopper to confiscate all winter gear and formal wear from Sanji's trunk until the weather cooled down.



Zoro had laughed when he saw the reddish stains on his body that night, had poked at the sore peeled patches until Sanji kneed him in the thigh and told him to stop doing that if he wanted to get laid ever again. Zoro bought him a bottle of sun block at the market the next day.



In fact, Zoro gave him a lot of things (even if he hadn't bought them with his own money). The fish, the sun block, booze at the bar occasionally. And this baby thing. Sanji sighed. Zoro was such an ass.



He fished around the pockets of his swimming trunks for a moment before he produced a mostly full packet of cigarettes. He stared at it mournfully in his palm for a minute before he threw the thing overboard. It was only nine months.



***



They ate dinner as usual, and then returned to the deck for a party of sorts. A bundle of candles created a mock-campfire as Usopp told ridiculously far-fetched stories to the rest of the crew, about dragons and mermaids and a hero called Sogeking. Chopper, Luffy and Brook listened intently while the others lounged around distantly, listening but not really paying attention.



As Sanji looked up at the sky, he scanned the stars and the moon fondly, at the distant orange glow on the horizon of the day leaving them languidly. Sanji decided that growing up on a pirate ship probably wouldn't be that bad for the kid. It had people around it that would look after it at least.



The next day, the crew set out from Epona, once again heading into an endless blend of sea and sky after having changed course.



"But why can't we go and visit all those other islands?" Luffy whined with a dramatic pout, sitting on the large sofa in the Aquarium Bar with his legs crossed and holding his ankles boyishly.



Nami glanced up at him agitatedly from studying her map; her feet were rested on the bar table at the centre of the room lethargically, a slightly crumpled map resting on her thighs and her sunglasses pressed up onto her head. "Because the other five islands on the Glordonia chain are marine towns! If we go within ten kilometres of the next island we'll be ambushed by at least twenty patrol ships. Those islands are fortresses and I'm sorry but they're just things we can do without right now," she explained, slightly exasperated from the captain's complaints.



"But they're adventures!" Luffy protested, sounding as though he were close to tears. "Think of all the treasure we could get, or the people we'd meet!" He added, his voice filled with childlike wonder.



Nami's brow twitched with frustration at the sound of any money she could be missing out on, but she knew better. She rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes tiredly, before speaking slowly to the boy like he was far younger than his actual age. "Luffy, these islands may be marine towns but that doesn't necessarily mean they're full of riches. The other islands of Glordonia are called the 'Ugly Stepsister Islands' because they have very boring natural terrains, they're not wealthy in the slightest and they are totally dominated by the marines. The most fun you'd ever have there would be watching the paint dry on their dull, grey buildings." She finished, opening her brown eyes and looking over at Luffy pointedly.



Luffy frowned once more but then announced that he was hungry, despite only having finished lunch less than half an hour ago, and headed for the galley for something to eat. Nami sighed once he had left, happy that he had bought her story.



"Ugly Stepsister Islands? That's an interesting name," Robin said from the side with a slight smile on her elegant features.



"Yeah well, I'd like to see you do better," Nami said, and went back to studying her map. "Don't, though," she said, knowing that the other woman probably had a whole list of better lies in her intelligent mind. Robin only giggled softly.



"MAAAARIIINES!!!" Usopp bellowed from the deck, and Nami sighed loudly.



"I knew this would happen," she said, and planted the map down on the table irritably, almost knocking the ornamental decanter off of the surface.



Robin stood and joined Nami as the two women ran to the deck. Once there they joined the rest of the crew in their battle preparations as the two heavily armed marine ships approached from the starboard side. Zoro drew Wadou and placed her between his teeth excitedly, Usopp ran, screaming, to the cannons, Chopper fearfully became his human-reindeer form, Nami connected the poles of her staff together and Sanji tapped his foot on the wooden deck in anticipation. Luffy eventually emerged from the galley, half a loaf of bread in his mouth and chewing lazily.



Sanji and Zoro exchanged a brief, worried look, but they adverted their eyes as soon as they connected.



'Che, think that I can't look after myself, fucking Marimo," Sanji thought, turning his gaze to the quickly approaching ships.



Within minutes they were being boarded, and the Sunny erupted in a flurry of blood and combat: swords flying, legs kicking, men screaming, feet stomping, ammunition flaring. The fight went on for almost three hours, until Robin's handiwork with the naval ships and Usopp's assistance with the cannons successfully sank both ships, leaving the few surviving men to return to their little island with their asses in their hands on a couple of salvaged dinghies.



Unfortunately, this meant that they then had to sail away from the apparently dangerous waters of Hone-Onna, which was some distance away-- really too far away to be attacked by her patrol ships. Franky used his remaining energy on a Coup de Boo to get them away from the island as quickly as they could. It took about a day or so off of their journey, so they wouldn't need to worry about any more marine ships at least.



They were soon in the liberating open water of the Grand Line, and heading towards their next adventure, but Sanji had decided to retire to his bedroom as he was feeling completely shattered after their fight. Luffy moaned a little at the cook's lack of kitchen-dwelling, as this meant that dinner probably wouldn't be done yet. Nami clocked him over the head and told him that it was only three thirty.



Sanji kicked his shoes off and panted as he stripped his torso of his dark blue tee, throwing it on the floor and crumpling the word 'GENTLECOOK' across the surface. He then hurriedly unbuckled his denim shorts and threw both them and his boxers on the floor of the men's quarters. Groaning painfully, he threw himself down into his hammock and lay breathing heavily for some time. He wasn't sure how long he laid there before the door creaked open; all he could think about was the hot pain surging around beneath his skin and throbbing in his head. His hand had been resting against his lower abdomen ever since the end of the fight, and he didn't become aware of his surroundings again until a familiar one covered his.



"Sanji," Zoro said, voice unusually kind, "can you hear me?"



He thought he nodded. Then again it might've been the blood vessels rupturing in his neck.



"Okay," Zoro whispered, probably nervous at seeing the normally cocky blond so weak like this. "I'm going to get Chopper."



Sanji didn't even protest. He didn't think he was really in a position to do so.



He vaguely felt Zoro pulling his boxers onto his hips, thankful that the moron at least had the decency to do that. He didn't remember anything else; he simply let the darkness claim him.



**



When he woke up, the sun was filtering in through a window to his right, and though the sudden sunlight was unwelcome to his tired eyes, it felt nice to be warmed by it. He sat up slowly, cringing at the movement - just how long had be been asleep? - and after a few delirious moments, he remembered everything that had happened. He had passed out..? His hand immediately travelled to his abdomen, and he was first glad to feel the smoothness of his skin and not a bandage, and also at the slight arc his hand had to make to cover it. He sighed and laid back down again, but turned his head on the pillow to look around the room. The infirmary.



Sanji lay there for several minutes, until he turned his head around to look at the door as it opened. To his surprise, Zoro walked in, hands in his pockets and a belligerent expression on his face, as though the very fact he was coming to visit the shitty cook annoyed him - he hadn't noticed that the blond had woken up yet. For some unknown reason, Sanji closed his eyes to pretend he was still asleep.



Zoro seemed to take an eternity to walk over to him, fiddling with things on the desk and dragging his feet. He finally sat down in Chopper's swivel chair, a couple of feet away, and face the far wall.



"Shitty cook, over-exerting yourself like that..." he mumbled, and Sanji had the distinct impression he'd probably said it quite a lot while he'd been out cold. Depending on how long he'd been out. But Zoro continued. "I'm not one for sentiments, but... hah..." Zoro made a familiar rough noise; the sound his hair made when Sanji ran his fingers through it.



"Just... don't fuck up like that again, okay? There's something else sharing your body, you can't just go and do selfish things like taking on thirty marines all by yourself."



"Well maybe if you'd given me a hand instead of dancing around with your swords pretending to be a swordsman, fuckface."



"What the f- how long have you been awake?" Zoro asked incredulously, and Sanji opened his eyes to see the confused, angry, relieved and somewhat red face of his lover.



"About an hour," Sanji replied, glaring at him from the pillow.



"You could've said something!" Zoro said, eyes wide.



"It was more interesting to keep my eyes closed," Sanji said with an evil smile.



Zoro rolled his eyes. "You're fucked up," he mumbled.



"And you're a moron. What time is it?"



"Four thirty," Zoro replied.



"Oh, well I still have time to make dinner, then," Sanji said, glancing out the window. "Everyone must be hungry from the fight."



Zoro blinked at him. "That was three days ago."



"What?!" Sanji yelled, "what the hell happened?"



"You overexerted yourself, like I said. Chopper said the heat and then the fight did something to your system." Zoro snorted. "Just like I said, /~frail~/."



"And whose fault is that, shithead?" Sanji quipped, glaring.



"Whatever," Zoro replied, cleaning his ear out with his little finger and then wiping it on the bed sheet to Sanji's dismay, "just hurry up and get your bony ass out of bed, we're hungry.



"I missed you too," Sanji called after the other man, who simply ignored him and shut the door. When he had left, Sanji slumped back down on the mattress (careful to avoid Zoro's contribution) and sighed. Well, at least he cared enough to visit him.



A few minutes after Zoro had left, Chopper came in and gave him some pills that he explained would stop the panging in his head. Within an hour or so the pills had kicked into effect and Sanji felt well enough to return to the galley, where he began preparing dinner.



He was nearly finished with chopping the vegetables when Robin came in through the galley door holding a book. Sanji turned to face her with a bright smile (three long days without his Nami or his Robin had made him weaker, evidently) and he felt the energy return full-force.



"Hello, Robin-chwaaan~" he swooned, a bright pink heart where his eye should be as usual. "I missed you~~"



Robin chuckled and sat down at the table. "Good afternoon, Cook-san," she answered, "how are you feeling?"



"Ah, Robin-chan is so caring," Sanji said, turning to finish chopping the carrots, "I'm feeling much better now that I've seen you."



"I'm glad to hear that." Robin crossed her legs and smiled. "I have to say, you had us all rather worried when you suddenly went to sleep for so long," she explained.



"Ah, I'm so sorry to have worried you like that," Sanji said, putting the vegetables into a pan and placing it on the hob.



"You know, Sanji-san, we're all very worried for you. You haven't been well ever since we left Salrynn," the dark-haired woman replied, placing her chin on her hand. "I hope you haven't got a bug..."



"Ah, no, nothing of the sort," Sanji replied, and finally turned to face her. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"



"How far along are you?" She asked suddenly.



"Wh-what?!" Sanji yelled, and then regained his composure. "I mean- what do you mean?" Was she psychic or something?



"You know what I mean, Cook-san." She answered seriously.



Sanji stared at her. "Excuse me a moment, Robin-chan," he said quietly, storming out of the galley to find Zoro. No way he was facing this conversation alone.



Zoro's meditative peace was interrupted rather rudely when he felt a heavy foot connect with the side of his head. "Shithead, come with me," Sanji said, in a voice that Zoro, in his tranquil state, did not even try to argue with.



When they entered the galley Sanji was all sunshine and happiness and apologizing for the interruption. "Zoro, please explain to Robin what's been happening for the last few weeks. She knows."



Zoro blinked a few times in surprise but decided it was easier to just talk about it. Everyone would know soon anyway. "Well, you know me and Sanji have been fucking for nearly a year? Well, recently I knocked him up."



The silence that followed was deadly, only punctuated by a brief giggle from Robin.



"What?" Sanji said deeply, brow furrowed with rage. Zoro was officially no longer allowed to explain things. Ever. In fact, Sanji would make sure he wouldn't speak for at least a month after this.



"Cook-san," Robin said finally, "please don't be too angry. I knew before Doctor-san did, I read about it in this book," she finished, and stood to hand it to the blond.



Sanji looked at the cover for a minute and read over the words 'SALRYNN: Goddess of the Legendary Land'.



"Read it," Robin said, "I think it will explain a lot of things to you both." Then she turned to leave. Before she shut the door, she turned and said: "I won't say anything."



Zoro left soon after her to continue meditating, and Sanji hid the book beneath the spice rack to read after dinner.



**



That last part is very mashed up and the whole thing is extremely disjointed (as well as a few mistakes I may have made), but I updated! Yay!