Categories > Celebrities > Green Day
At the Library
1 reviewA story about a prank. Rated "PG-13" for language and content. If you have no problem with the concept of homosexuality, there should be no problem.
0Unrated
DISCLAIMER: I do not advocate homophobia, nor do I advocate prejudice against homophobics, homosexuals, etc. To each his own, I just thought this made a funny story.
John Kreffmeyer was jogging his usual route to the library. It was Friday, the day that anybody with a juicy secret snuck over to the town library to discuss it. As he approached the steps, he noticed a familiar head of dreadlocks disappear into the building. John grinned and cackled in his mind. This would be a great day for eavesdropping.
John stepped into the air conditioned library, thankful for the rush of cool air, and silently followed his friend.
He watched as the boy, Billie Joe, grabbed The Big Book of Trains from a clever hiding spot in the "Young Adults" section, and open it to a specific page, placing a small piece of paper there, and quickly shutting it. He replaced the book, stood, and went to leave.
John waited until he was sure that Billie Joe would not return before he emerged from his hiding place to see what Billie Joe had done.
Immediatly when he picked up the book, the paper partially fell out. He opened the book to the page and then proceeded to read the note:
My Dearest Mike,
So long it has been since I've spoken with you. It may have only been a day, but to me, it feels like a year.
It is killing me inside to have to keep this a secret for so long. Please, tell me, when can we make our relationship public?
Billie Joe
John nearly laughed out loud. Billie Joe had never written anything as girly as this. It had to be one of the funniest things he'd ever seen.
He heart footsteps approaching, and quickly replaced the note and book before diving back to his hiding spot.
Seeing that it was only a little boy, he breathed a sigh of relief. He was almost positive that it would be Mike. John stood, brushing off his clothing, and left.
*
Monday, after school, John returned to the library to see if anything had happened that was worth seeing...or reading.
He grabbed the book from its spot under the shelves and frantically opened it to find yet another note:
Billie Joe,
I agree, it has indeed been too long. My heart aches as well from the stress and pressure this secret relationship has been putting me through. I truly wish that we could publicize our love for each other, as well. Maybe then all the girls would stop hitting on you. But, we must keep in mind, our band. We cannot let John know of our relationship. I do believe that if he knew, it may tear Sweet Children apart.
I'm afraid that we will have to keep ourselves confined to these small notes until we are sure that Sweet Children is stable enough to withstand such a change.
Love,
Mike
John nearly choked on his own tongue. It wasn't possible. Two thirds of his band could not be gay! It was unheard of, unnecessary, unsanitary!
*
Each day, John returned to the library, and each day, he found even more proof of his band mates' homosexuality. As little as he wanted to believe it, he was coming closer and closer to it.
He'd been avoiding Billie Joe and Mike ever since the first note. Skipping band practice, and actually going to classes (he usually skipped with Billie Joe and Mike). Both were taking a huge toll on him.
That Friday, they finally confronted him.
"Dude, what's going on? We haven't seen you at all this week, and we have a huge gig tomorrow!" Billie Joe said.
John shrugged, trying his best to stay calm, "I've been busy, so sue me."
Mike placed a hand on John's shoulder, making him shudder. A queer was touching him.
"Dude, we've been practicing loads of new songs, and if you don't learn them ASAP, we can't play the set."
Billie Joe was the first to notice the sweat forming on his forehead, "You alright?"
John side-stepped from Mike's grasp, "Yeah, fine. Just don't touch me!" He snapped.
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, I know that you're a homo - both of you! I've been reading your notes!"
Billie Joe and Mike stared blankly at him before erupting into enormous fits of laughter, and Mike actually fell to the floor.
"Oh my fucking God, you fell for it?!" Billie Joe finally choked out.
"Man, he fell hard!" Mike laughed.
John looked at them both stupidly, "What?"
They took a moment to collect themselves, "It was a joke! We were teaching you a lesson for all the spying you've been doing on everybody-"
"Yeah, and long overdue," Mike interrupted.
"You mean, you're not really queers?"
"We employed that chick that's always hanging around the library to write sweet, romantic, and poetic notes addressed to one of us, from the other, and each day we planted the seed-"
"And each day you fell for it!" Mike taunted.
"Man, am I glad the student body finally decided-"
"Wait, the entire school is in on this?!" John yelled, receiving enthusiastic nods from Billie Joe and Mike.
"You dickheads!"
They shrugged, "It's what we do," they replied in unison.
John turned on his heel and walked away.
Time to start applying to foreign colleges.
John Kreffmeyer was jogging his usual route to the library. It was Friday, the day that anybody with a juicy secret snuck over to the town library to discuss it. As he approached the steps, he noticed a familiar head of dreadlocks disappear into the building. John grinned and cackled in his mind. This would be a great day for eavesdropping.
John stepped into the air conditioned library, thankful for the rush of cool air, and silently followed his friend.
He watched as the boy, Billie Joe, grabbed The Big Book of Trains from a clever hiding spot in the "Young Adults" section, and open it to a specific page, placing a small piece of paper there, and quickly shutting it. He replaced the book, stood, and went to leave.
John waited until he was sure that Billie Joe would not return before he emerged from his hiding place to see what Billie Joe had done.
Immediatly when he picked up the book, the paper partially fell out. He opened the book to the page and then proceeded to read the note:
My Dearest Mike,
So long it has been since I've spoken with you. It may have only been a day, but to me, it feels like a year.
It is killing me inside to have to keep this a secret for so long. Please, tell me, when can we make our relationship public?
Billie Joe
John nearly laughed out loud. Billie Joe had never written anything as girly as this. It had to be one of the funniest things he'd ever seen.
He heart footsteps approaching, and quickly replaced the note and book before diving back to his hiding spot.
Seeing that it was only a little boy, he breathed a sigh of relief. He was almost positive that it would be Mike. John stood, brushing off his clothing, and left.
*
Monday, after school, John returned to the library to see if anything had happened that was worth seeing...or reading.
He grabbed the book from its spot under the shelves and frantically opened it to find yet another note:
Billie Joe,
I agree, it has indeed been too long. My heart aches as well from the stress and pressure this secret relationship has been putting me through. I truly wish that we could publicize our love for each other, as well. Maybe then all the girls would stop hitting on you. But, we must keep in mind, our band. We cannot let John know of our relationship. I do believe that if he knew, it may tear Sweet Children apart.
I'm afraid that we will have to keep ourselves confined to these small notes until we are sure that Sweet Children is stable enough to withstand such a change.
Love,
Mike
John nearly choked on his own tongue. It wasn't possible. Two thirds of his band could not be gay! It was unheard of, unnecessary, unsanitary!
*
Each day, John returned to the library, and each day, he found even more proof of his band mates' homosexuality. As little as he wanted to believe it, he was coming closer and closer to it.
He'd been avoiding Billie Joe and Mike ever since the first note. Skipping band practice, and actually going to classes (he usually skipped with Billie Joe and Mike). Both were taking a huge toll on him.
That Friday, they finally confronted him.
"Dude, what's going on? We haven't seen you at all this week, and we have a huge gig tomorrow!" Billie Joe said.
John shrugged, trying his best to stay calm, "I've been busy, so sue me."
Mike placed a hand on John's shoulder, making him shudder. A queer was touching him.
"Dude, we've been practicing loads of new songs, and if you don't learn them ASAP, we can't play the set."
Billie Joe was the first to notice the sweat forming on his forehead, "You alright?"
John side-stepped from Mike's grasp, "Yeah, fine. Just don't touch me!" He snapped.
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, I know that you're a homo - both of you! I've been reading your notes!"
Billie Joe and Mike stared blankly at him before erupting into enormous fits of laughter, and Mike actually fell to the floor.
"Oh my fucking God, you fell for it?!" Billie Joe finally choked out.
"Man, he fell hard!" Mike laughed.
John looked at them both stupidly, "What?"
They took a moment to collect themselves, "It was a joke! We were teaching you a lesson for all the spying you've been doing on everybody-"
"Yeah, and long overdue," Mike interrupted.
"You mean, you're not really queers?"
"We employed that chick that's always hanging around the library to write sweet, romantic, and poetic notes addressed to one of us, from the other, and each day we planted the seed-"
"And each day you fell for it!" Mike taunted.
"Man, am I glad the student body finally decided-"
"Wait, the entire school is in on this?!" John yelled, receiving enthusiastic nods from Billie Joe and Mike.
"You dickheads!"
They shrugged, "It's what we do," they replied in unison.
John turned on his heel and walked away.
Time to start applying to foreign colleges.
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