FicWad

If ever there were tears,
i had to cry...
i would know that in my heart...
there were reasons why.
like the petals of a rose...
thats lived without the sun.
i find myself longing..
to leave this place..
just run.
nothing is left..
just shattered hopes and dreams..
my happy little reality...
has been torn ...at the seams.
That i held so dear...
has disapated from sight.
leaving me hollow...
and doubting my whole life.
Floating .... falling....
everything is numb.
I just want things to get better...
i just want to be done.
because.. im torn inside...
reminded of things now lost.
Things should be so much simpler..
yet, everyone knows theyre not.
Nothing is ever settling..
nothing ever solved...
nothing really changes,
and yet, everything is lost.
If only the memories..
could start to disperse.
and there was nothing left..
to hold in my grasp.
Perhaps i wouldnt feel this..
perhaps.. i'd be ok.
But even good memories haunt me..
and never go away.
I close my eyes in hoping..
that i cant see the truth.
I curl up in a fetal way,
to somehow ... keep from losing you.
for if i lose the memories..
then i will lose the essence.
and with that comes the feeling..
that you are still so near.
i sit back and try to relax...
staring out my window..
the rain heavily falling
reminds me of a happier time.
soothing like a rose...
whose petals are still in tact.
but i am far beyond that point..
my petals are brown in fact.