Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer > BUFFY Meets STAR TREK
- Traders' World -
--Unmasked And Exposed--
23
Somewhere in the west of Traders' World:
Spike was midway through enjoying his rather foul beer when a shadow loomed over him from behind the counter.
"You're face is bothering my customers," the barman said to Spike. "Drink-up and /leave/."
"My face?" he scoffed. The vampire scanned the room. There was one guy... no. It couldn't be. It WAS. His head was completely transparent. You could see his damn /brain/!
"When was the last time they looked in a mirror?" Spike replied with a smirk. But the barman was not impressed.
"If it helps, I can take it off," he added. Spike was met with puzzlement, so he let his human face return. Unfortunately he hadn't stopped to think first, and this action was met with disgust.
"Just pay and get out, /freak/!" the green barman shouted.
"Pay? ... I thought things were free in this universe..."
"Only within the confines of Starfleet!. Are you one of THEM?!"
"/Snoozefleet/? Hell, no!"
"Then pay up, stranger."
"I-I...I don't actually have..." feeling around in his own pockets and finding something, he held up a shiny coin to the hostile group that had formed around him. "...I've got a quarter..."
Bad move.
He hit the badge on his inner jacket. "Spike to...ship!" Hell! What was it? "/Enterprise/!" he recalled. "Spike to /Enterprise/!"
"Ensign Scott here. Is there a problem?"
Ensign SCOTT? Where's Warren THIS time?
"You ARE Starfleet!" the barman roared. "GET HIM!"
Is there a problem? "That's puttin' it a bit mildly," Spike whimpered as the hostile crowd began to move in on him.
A blue man was the first to attack Spike - clambering over a chair to reach him - and Spike cut him down with a jab to the gullet. A sharp back-kick took out the guy with the brain for a face. Two more came at once; one small with pointed ears and a harsh scowl, another tall and slimy.
Spike went low and rammed a fist into the gut of the small one. He spun to the one that looked like an anorexic Swamp-Thing, twisted its arm and smashed its head into the nearest table. He caught a bottle in his free hand and a side-kick did away with the alien on the other end of it. He broke the bottle over Swampies head as the little angry elf returned for his second-helpings. Spike dropped and took out the elf's legs.
When he stood, he was met with a hard plastic chair right across his back. The seat shattered on impact and, though stunned at first, Spike came back - taking the fat orange-skinned creature by the collar and hurling him into the crowd.
There were many at the far side of the bar who couldn't get to Spike. Most couldn't even see what was happening. They were so eager to join in that they happily settled for fighting each other, and the bar fell into chaos. The naked girls were screaming as they either climbed their poles, hid up on the podiums, or fled toward the back room.
The elf with the thick forehead came again for his dessert. Spike decided to give him ice-cream punch. The elf came foaming at the mouth. Spike stopped him with a vamped punch, and the alien fell away with a scream.
I-scream Punch.
He soon re-thought his choice of strategy when he caught sight of the barman lifting out a laser gun from beneath the counter.
Oh, crap! He quickly pressed the badge again. "Scotty... beam me up!"
--Unmasked And Exposed--
23
Somewhere in the west of Traders' World:
Spike was midway through enjoying his rather foul beer when a shadow loomed over him from behind the counter.
"You're face is bothering my customers," the barman said to Spike. "Drink-up and /leave/."
"My face?" he scoffed. The vampire scanned the room. There was one guy... no. It couldn't be. It WAS. His head was completely transparent. You could see his damn /brain/!
"When was the last time they looked in a mirror?" Spike replied with a smirk. But the barman was not impressed.
"If it helps, I can take it off," he added. Spike was met with puzzlement, so he let his human face return. Unfortunately he hadn't stopped to think first, and this action was met with disgust.
"Just pay and get out, /freak/!" the green barman shouted.
"Pay? ... I thought things were free in this universe..."
"Only within the confines of Starfleet!. Are you one of THEM?!"
"/Snoozefleet/? Hell, no!"
"Then pay up, stranger."
"I-I...I don't actually have..." feeling around in his own pockets and finding something, he held up a shiny coin to the hostile group that had formed around him. "...I've got a quarter..."
Bad move.
He hit the badge on his inner jacket. "Spike to...ship!" Hell! What was it? "/Enterprise/!" he recalled. "Spike to /Enterprise/!"
"Ensign Scott here. Is there a problem?"
Ensign SCOTT? Where's Warren THIS time?
"You ARE Starfleet!" the barman roared. "GET HIM!"
Is there a problem? "That's puttin' it a bit mildly," Spike whimpered as the hostile crowd began to move in on him.
A blue man was the first to attack Spike - clambering over a chair to reach him - and Spike cut him down with a jab to the gullet. A sharp back-kick took out the guy with the brain for a face. Two more came at once; one small with pointed ears and a harsh scowl, another tall and slimy.
Spike went low and rammed a fist into the gut of the small one. He spun to the one that looked like an anorexic Swamp-Thing, twisted its arm and smashed its head into the nearest table. He caught a bottle in his free hand and a side-kick did away with the alien on the other end of it. He broke the bottle over Swampies head as the little angry elf returned for his second-helpings. Spike dropped and took out the elf's legs.
When he stood, he was met with a hard plastic chair right across his back. The seat shattered on impact and, though stunned at first, Spike came back - taking the fat orange-skinned creature by the collar and hurling him into the crowd.
There were many at the far side of the bar who couldn't get to Spike. Most couldn't even see what was happening. They were so eager to join in that they happily settled for fighting each other, and the bar fell into chaos. The naked girls were screaming as they either climbed their poles, hid up on the podiums, or fled toward the back room.
The elf with the thick forehead came again for his dessert. Spike decided to give him ice-cream punch. The elf came foaming at the mouth. Spike stopped him with a vamped punch, and the alien fell away with a scream.
I-scream Punch.
He soon re-thought his choice of strategy when he caught sight of the barman lifting out a laser gun from beneath the counter.
Oh, crap! He quickly pressed the badge again. "Scotty... beam me up!"
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