Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Take A Chance On Me

Learning to Fall

by adalae 0 reviews

It's been two weeks since Ryan and Addy met. No calls, nothing at all, and Addy goes out with Bryan.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2010-06-19 - Updated: 2010-06-20 - 1821 words


Chapter Four: Learning to Fall

“And I can't stop dreaming, Watching you and him. When it should have been. It should have been me” Boys Like Girls

“Have you heard yet?” Harper asked me as I walked into the apartment. She had asked me every time I came home for the past week and a half.

“No,” I said with a sigh, “But whatever.” I threw my keys down onto the kitchen counter and dropped my bags onto the ground. I slipped off my coat, “I mean, it was nothing. It IS nothing. Can we please move on now?”

“Uh, no!” Harper called from the couch, “I mean, you meet this random guy on the street and then run into him AGAIN the same day, give him your number, almost hook up – sorry about that by the way – and make plans to make plans the next day…. And nothing? No. We do not give up.”

I forced myself to give Harper a smile, “He just didn’t want to call. He probably found some other girl by now. I mean, c’mon Harper. You work with guys like him every day, I know from your stories that’s how they are.”

“Well then, we find him, and… push him in front of a car. But in any case,” Harper said jokingly, “we find him!”

Harper was more frustrated about the situation than I was because as much as she tried to use her connections to get Ryan’s phone number and information she kept coming up blank. She had no links to the bands that performed that night, none of the members had returned her calls or phoned her from the cards she handed out. “But on the bright side of today,” I said trying to get her attention back, “I have a date tonight.” This made my best friend’s face perk up, “He’s a guy from work. Another composer, Bryan.”

“Oooooo,” Harper chimed, “Bryyyyaaann.” It was rare moments that Harper and I were girly, and we enjoyed it when we were. “Do I need to vacate the apartment tonight?” she asked laughing.

“Haha,” I said throwing a pillow at her while I walked towards my bedroom. “I’ve got to shower and stuff. Bryan will be here to pick me up at seven and it is already five thirty.”


“Oooh la la!” Harper said as I exited my bedroom. I spun in acknowledgement and grinned widely. As much as I loved my normal day to day wear, I greatly enjoyed the nights I got to dress up. I had settled on my favorite dress – a sleeveless, full skirted, purple dress that fell just above my knees – and paired it with simple black peep toe heels. I threw on some black earrings and a black beaded choker necklace and my black leather cord charm bracelet. Harper tossed me a sequin black clutch, “Borrow it,” she said, “Looks a lot better than the crappy purses you own.”

“Thanks,” I said half in gratitude and half in hate for her ragging on my choice of purses. It was true though, most of the things I owned were rather ordinary – but that’s another reason I kept Harper around – to steal her stuff when it suited me.

“It’s cold, grab your jacket,” she said as I stuffed my phone, wallet, keys, and lipstick in the clutch.

“Thanks mom,” I joked. It was the middle of October and rightfully chilly out. Not death cold, but close enough for me. I snagged my dark grey pea coat from the closet by the door and slipped it on, “Approved?”

“Approved,” she said quickly, “I’ll be out tonight. In case you have any guests over for… Scrabble or something..”

I shot Harper a quick glare and said my goodbye. I rushed out the door, closed it behind me, and went down the three flights of stairs, in heels.

Waiting outside my building was Bryan Regan. Six feet tall and long gorgeous blonde hair pulled into a pony tail. “You look great,” he said and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks,” I said. I felt my cheeks begin to blush. “So, where are we going?” I asked.

“There’s this quaint Italian place that my brother told me about that I thought we should try. ‘Scoperta’.”

“Never heard of it,” I said after thinking for a moment. He opened the car door for me and I climbed in. Then we were off to the restaurant.


Meanwhile on the other side of town….

“Fuck dude,” Brendon said with his arms across his chest, “Come out with me tonight. Let’s man-date this shit. You’ve been so bummed, bro. Is this still all about this Adalae chick?”

Ryan looked up from his bed, where he was currently reading Rant by Chuck Palahniuk. “Dude,” he said emphasizing the words, “I just don’t feel like it. I don’t wanna do a man date tonight. Kay?”

“You gotta eat,” Brendon said, “C’mon. I have reservations and everything set up by the label! It’s free! Don’t make me go by myself. That’s even lamer than a man date…” Brendon put on his ‘pretty please’ face and Ryan gave in.

“Fine,” he said, “Give me a minute to change and we’ll go.”

“Yay!” Brendon said, “We’ll head to the bar after and get our heavily drinking faces on. BY tomorrow morning you’ll be saying ‘Ada-who?’!”


“That was delicious,” I said smiling as the waiter took our dishes away, “Your brother… we trust him now..”

“He did good,” Bryan said refilling my wine glass. We clinked our glasses together. We finished our wine and left the restaurant. Standing outside Bryan and I laughed nervously, for no reason.

I was about to say something witty and amazing when Bryan kissed me. It was much different than the kiss I had shared with Ryan. It was more provocative, less sweet. Not that I had anything to complain about. I pulled back for a moment and out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a familiar face… “I’m sorry Bryan,” I said quickly. I looked around for the familiar figure but couldn’t find it. I turned my attention back to Bryan after my mind was convinced that I had just drank one glass to much of wine.

“No,” he replied, “Me. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just..”

I smiled and put a hand onto his cheek, “I think I’m going to walk home,” I said. He looked disappointed so I pulled his chin down to me and kissed him once more, “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

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Ryan and Brendon had gone to dinner across town to a steak house across the street from Brendon’s favorite restaurant – Scoperta. The drank, talked, joked, and ate and at the end of the meal Brendon had gotten the number of the hot waitress and left with her while Ryan decided it was a good idea to walk around to kill time and clear his head. Brendon had him convinced that it was fate telling him to steer clear from the girl he had met before, but Ryan wasn’t the spiritual type. There was nothing that was preordained, people made their own choices. Everything was coincidence and nothing more. He cross the street and passed through a group of people when he was stopped dead in his tracks by the sight of two people kissing in the middle of the sidewalk. He took a step back and off to the side, hiding behind a group of people, until he saw the guy leave and the girl left alone by herself.


I felt so giddy about the way my date ended with Bryan that I was shocked at how disappointed I felt when I heard Ryan’s voice behind me, “Hey,” he said.

I turned to face him. I had thought of nothing more than seeing his face the past two weeks and now that I was… I was confused. “Hey,” I said, somewhat unenthusiastically.

Ryan seemed to pick up on it and cleared his throat, “Look, Adalae… I’m sorry about not calling.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said trying to ease the guilt and hide the pain it caused on my face, “I understand. Really. Don’t worry about it.”

“No,” Ryan said, “Unexcuseable. I wanted to call, I just couldn’t. I mean, I really couldn’t-“

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Couldn’t?” I asked. “Look, you didn’t want to call, I get that. I moved on.” I was angry. Just like every other guy, I felt Ryan was trying to excuse his actions.

“No it wasn’t that I didn’t want to it was just that I lost your number,” he said quickly, trying to recover.

“Oh,” I said. I didn’t really believe him. Part of me wanted to but I had been through this song and dance before, “Well I guess it just wasn’t supposed to happen.” I offered him a smile and tried to think of a way to make my exit, I was never to good at awkward situations. I avoided them at all costs. “It’s late, I should be heading home. It was nice seeing you Ryan.”

I turned and began to walk away when Ryan stopped me by grabbing me by the arm, “Please Adalae,” he said.

I pulled my arm away, “Don’t grab me,” I spat out. What gave him the right to grab me like that? He didn’t call – excuse or not – and I had just had an amazing date with an equally amazing guy. I didn’t need him to grab me.

“Sorry,” he said and quickly took his hand back. “Please don’t be angry. Give me a chance.”

“Sorry Ryan,” I said. My mind was working harder than it needed to in order to think of a way to just leave, but part of me kept shutting it down. “I’ve spent every day waiting for your call or any sign from you and it hasn’t happened. I don’t care if it was in your hands or not, it just didn’t happen. I gave you the chance and I met someone else. I’m sorry Ryan but I cant have these thoughts of you plaguing my mind all the time anymore I just-“ Then Ryan kissed me. It wasn’t anything like the way Bryan kissed me or even the way Ryan had kissed me before. It was desperate, spontaneous, and wonderful. My mind had gone blank for the moment when our lips met but snapped back to reality soon after. I pulled away and before Ryan could react, I slapped him in the face. “Goodbye Ryan,” I said.
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