FicWad

FINALLY!! It's officially taken me five days to get this chapter up! Bloody Ficwad and it's diva tantrums....

Somehow I mange to make it home without killing myself. I park the truck outside my house and storm inside barely noticing the strange red car parked in the drive. I push open the door violently, slam it and make my way into the kitchen.

As I'm walking past the living room I hear the distinct sound of a woman's laughter inside, but I'm currently too mad to care. I walk straight to the fridge and open the door. I'm not hungry but staring at the contents of the fridge gives me something to do. I quickly get bored and end up slamming the door.

There is fruit bowl sitting innocently on a counter. I eye it ferociously and grab a shiny red apple from it. I take a knife and stab it viciously, imagining it is Gerard, or his hussy. Or Mikey. God I hate them all.

After I have stabbed the apple to death I toss it into the bin feeling worser the ever. I have never been more angry and hurt in my life. I feel like....like..that's just the problem, I just don't know how to react.

I sit down heavily on a chair and rest my head on the cool table willing myself to calm down a little so I can begin to think straight.

"Hey there, Stella!" says my dad cheerily, striding into the kitchen.

I can't be bothered to lift my head to greet him so I grunt instead. "What's up?" he asks. I hear the sound of running water and dishes being washed.

I don't bother answering. What can I say? "Oh, it's nothing. I just caught my boyfriend in bed with another woman-who, by the way, is so good looking she makes me look like a drowned cat?"

"Nothing," I reply wearily.

"You sure?" He sounds concerned.

"Mmm," I mumble.

"Okay, but there is something I'd like to talk to you about," he says, nervously I notice.

Now? Really? Do I have to?

"Fine," I say in defeat.

"Okay, it's like this.....," he pauses, "I have an...erm, how should I say this?"

At that moment I hear someone else walk into the kitchen. This someone is wearing a hell of a lot of sickly sweet perfume.

"There you are, sugar muffin." A cat-like screech fills the air.

I raise my head in surprise. Could it be? My eyes zone in on a tall woman wearing a mini skirt and a red string vest thing. Her hair is bleached blond and I can see she is wearing a LOT of make-up. The word STRIPPER enters my mind.

"Is this her?" she smiles at me and I grimace back. "She's so cute!"

She rushes over and grabs my cheek. I don't have to energy to punch her back.

"Hello, sweety pie!" she trills. I wish she'd shut up.

"This is Mindy," says dad. "My girlfriend."

My head falls back onto the table with a thunk. Great, that's all I need. For dad to hook up with a stripper.

"She's a dancer," he adds.

"I'm an exotic dancer, silly," she giggles.

I groan loudly. So she is a stripper. Now I understand why Jacob and Gerard were acting all weird.

"Dad, you're the sheriff. You can't date a stripper," I tell him. Could my day get any worse?

"We're in love," says dad simply. "I'm crazy about her."

"But she's a stripper!" I cry, in disgust. "And eew!" I add as an afterthought.

"Exotic dancer," corrects Mandy or Mindy slowly, like I'm a retard. "I dance to make people happy!"

There is nothing I can say to that that won't offend her so I stay quiet. I push back my chair and get to my feet. "I'm going to kill myself," I announce.

"Have fun!" She wiggles her fingers at me as I walk out of the kitchen.

Maybe I should just kill myself? No-one would miss. Not Gerard, not my dad-he's never paid any attention to me. I should just jump into a river and be done with it. I open the front door to get some fresh air and walk to the back of the house.

I stare at the forest as it gets closer. At the moment it is the only sanctuary I have.

Once under the protection of the trees a strange sort of clam washes over me. Maybe it's because I know the trees won't backstab me like all the men in my life seem to be doing at the moment.

I lie back on the ground and close my eyes.

In my heart I know I can't forgive Gerard, and to be honest I'm a bit fed up of his family members and ex-girlfriends trying to kill me, tired of being thrown through tables and tired of him trying to tell me what to do concerning Jacob. I wish everyone would stop trying to kill me.

It suddenly occurs to me what I have to do.

"Stella?" whispers an all too familiar voice.

It's him. I open my eyes to see him standing over me. I keep me face blank. I have to stay calm if I am to do what I have decided. He won't take me seriously if I scream at him.

I get to my feet refusing the hand he holds out to me. He doesn't say a word and lets his hand drop to his side. I take a few steps away from him, a small frown appears on his face.

"We need to talk," he says quietly.

"I'll go first," I say hurriedly. I don't want to hear what he has to say otherwise it will just confuse me.

He looks at me intently. "Fine."

"Okay," I say, realizing I haven't a clue how to go about this. I take a breath to steady my rapidly beating heart.

"Take your time," he says. Is he being sarcastic? I can't tell.

"There's no easy way to say this, Gerard, so I'm just going to say it out right," I pause. He waits for me to continue.

"I don't think we should see each other any more." There, I've said it. It's in the open now. I wait for him to react.

"What did you say?" he asks softly. His face is blank.

"I said I don't think we should. No." I shake my head vehemently. "I don't want to see you any more."

Now I get a reaction. He recoils as if he has been slapped across the face. I remember Is did actually slap him earlier but only ended up hurting myself. Luckily no bones were broken.

"You don't mean that," he says, his eyes flashing dangerously.

I stand firm. "Yes I do. It's my decision."

"I don't accept it," he says, his voice is soft and low. The tone he uses when he is absolutely furious. Strangely I'm not afraid.

"You don't have a choice," I tell him resolutely.

"Really?" He covers the distance between us so he is standing right in front of me. "Do you think it's that simple?" He takes my hand and pulls me closer.

This isn't going well.

"Look, Gerard," I say, mostly to his chest. "I don't want to be with you any more."

He lifts my chin up so he can look into my eyes. "I don't believe you."

"That's too bad," I say flatly, trying to show him how serious I am.

He strokes my cheek. "You can't walk away from me. I won't let you."

"Even when you know I don't want you?"

If that comment hurts him he doesn't let it show on his face. "This is about what you saw in my bedroom, isn't it?" he says savagely.

"You mean the half naked girl lying next to you on your bed?" The memory makes me mad and I fight the sudden urge to kick him.

"It's not what you think," he says in a less menacing yet slightly frustrated tone.

"I don't want to hear it," I interrupt. "I just want to go home."

"You're not going anywhere," he informs me and grips my arm tighter. I hate the fact he is more powerful then me.

I take a very deep breath otherwise I know I'm going to lose my temper. Trust him to make breaking up difficult.

I decide to try another way. "Gerard," I say with as much authority as I can muster. "You are going to let go of me and I am going to go home. You will not follow me or ever speak to me again. Okay?" Hopefully he gets the hint.

"You're not going anywhere," he repeats, as if he hasn't heard what I just said.

I exhale sharply feeling frustrated. How the hell do I dump this guy?

"I. Don't. Want. To. Be. With. You. Anymore," I say loudly, enunciating each word carefully and clearly.

His eyes are almost black and his face is more pale then I've ever seen before. He looks quite frightening to me and I have to look away at a tree to compose myself.

After two whole minutes of silence I figure he's got the picture. "I'm going home now," I say to the tree, too afraid now to look him in the face.

His hand stays glued to my arm. "My dad must be waiting for me." If he's not too busy with his new stripper friend.

"It's not over, Stella," Gerard whispers, breaking the silence.

"I think I just ended it," I say. "Yeah, it's totally over."

Suddenly he lets go of my arm. It's quite a violent move and more out of surprise then anything else I end up on my ass at his feet.

He stares down at me harshly and I gulp. Maybe now he's gotten the picture?

I get to my feet on shaky legs and brush my jeans off. I know I should be mad at him for sort-of assaulting me but I'll let it slide. The murderous glint in his eyes tells me I shouldn't push my luck.

"Is this what you really want?" he asks in an emotionless voice.

I nod fervently. "Yes."

"There's no going back after this."

"Okay," I say, not really understanding what he is saying but glad he's not going to kill me.

"Really?"

"I don't belong in your world, Gerard."

"There was a time when you wanted to be one of us," he reminds me softly.

"Not any more," I say. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"Very well." He closes his eyes then opens them slowly.

"We can still be friends and stuff," I tell him, trying valiantly to make the atmosphere less intense. "I mean, we'll still see each other at school."

He looks at me sadly then shakes his head. "I'm afraid not."

"What do you mean?" I ask, taking a step backwards. Oh, God. He is going to kill me after all.

"We're leaving," he says, dropping the bombshell on me incredibly casually.

"What?!" I cry. "When did you decide this?" I cry, panic gripping my heart.

"Just now," he replies calmly.

"But, but...," I splutter like a fish. "Where are you going to go?"

"Far far away."

Bizarrely, the magical world of Neverland enters my stupid head. I tell myself if I don't start focusing I will have to slap myself.

"But why?" I demand. "Why do you have to leave?"

"Stella," he says lightly, "If I can't have you in my life, then there is no reason for me to stay in this place. It's better for both of us if I leave."

Or maybe it's because he knows there are no other girls dumb enough to date him in this town?

"Okay," I say, with a shrug of my shoulders. "Great." I put on an excellent performance of nonchalance.

"This is the last time you'll ever see me," he says. He moves closer to me and kisses me gently on my forehead. "It'll be like I never existed."

I nod dumbly and he takes a tiny step away from me. His beautiful face shows no hint of sadness but I'm pretty certain I'm about to burst into tears.

He gives me one final look before turning away. He begins to walk away from me towards the tall trees. The further he gets the emptier I feel. I keep my eyes trained on him, unwilling to even blink in case I lose sight of him. But it's a lost cause.

He is gone.