FicWad

Wow, so this is what it felt like to have your heart ripped out, thrown about and stomped on while it was still beating. I never thought I’d say this but I am heart broken. Heart broken because of him…

My names Frank and I am far from normal. I wear a lot of black, eyeliner, red and black hair and I am in love with my, now engaged, best friend. And today we’re going shopping for tuxedos. The wedding of his was in less than a week and there is nothing I can do to stop it. As I climbed into his black convertible he smiled at me and said “Thanks Frankie, there’s one thing I need to ask you”
I looked at him weirdly “And what’s that?”
“Will you be my best man?”
Those words, ‘best man’. Why would he ask me that? Best man my ass; I'm the worst man alive! But I wanted and felt like I HAD to be part of this wedding, even though its not my own. I was happy to just stay at home and drink the whole night by myself but hey, he wants me there he’s going to get me there. We pulled up outside some weird expensive shop and walked in.
“Hi, can I help you?” a lady asked walking with us to the back of the shop.
“No just looking for now” Gerard smiled. After she left he grabbed some off the racks and went to the dressing room. I sat on the chair outside. I’m really not into the whole ‘tuxedo’ thing… I was staring at a catalogue, not even reading it, when the door opened and he said, “What do you think?”
I looked up to see a smiling Gerard in a black and red lined tuxedo with a crimson red tie.
“Wow…” I whispered, daring not to blink. “You look amazing…”
“Do think this is the one?”
“Yeah, I definitely do” I replied staring at the angels face. He smiled, “what one you gonna get?”
“Dunno… I hate tuxedos…” I sighed going back to the catalogue. “Cant I just wear one of my suits?”
“Come on frankkieee! Get dressed up for mee” he whined. “Its gonna be my special day”
“But…”
“Please?”
“Fine…” I said getting up and looking through the racks of boring, plain tuxedos. “Boring, ugly, stupid, retarded, super ugly, boring,” I said out loud as I flicked through each one.
“Frank, just try one on, you might like it”
“Doubt it…” I muttered as he handed me one. I reluctantly put it on and stepped out. “Hey look, I look like a total dumbass too!” he smiled.
“You look awesome” and he didn’t stop smiling.
“Dude your creeping me out…” I said quietly, looking at the floor.
“Its just, you look totally awesome. I wouldn’t blame Zee if she fell in love with you on the night”
“Yeah, right…” I laughed nervously. “Fucking hate tuxedos…”

Once we had purchased the pieces of gay clothes, he dropped me home after telling me about an important date with Lyn-z.
“Bye, thanks for coming with me” he smiled watching me get out the car.
“Yeah… no problem. Um, catcha later” I grabbed my bags and took off inside. Once I was in, door closed and my back against the door, I slid down to the floor with my knees at my chest. Hell this is going to be worse than the fucking prom…

Well tonight’s the night of Gerard and Lyn-z’s wedding. Here I am, in the back of Ray and his girlfriend Ronnie’s car, heading towards the church. I really didn’t feel well and I didn’t want to be there, but I HAD to. We climbed out the car and walked over to Mikey and Bob who were standing at the doors.
“Hey! Gonna be a great wedding huh?” Mikey said happily.
“Mmm, yeah…” I replied looking at the ground. Fuck, I should just ditch this place… I need to get away from these people for a minute. “I need to pee…” and I dashed off to the restrooms. Shit… what am I going to do? I can’t stand up there and watch the man I love get married to some chick! I can’t stop it either, Ill ruin their lives…
I stayed in the restroom for ages, I don’t exactly know how long due to my watch stopping. So I just sat there, daydreaming about a land of nothingness. Where you could go and be whatever you wanted. God I wished I lived there…

Gerard’s POV
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, where is he?” I repeated pacing up and down the small room. “He’s meant to be here…”
“He WAS here,” Mikey said looking at a bottle of champagne.
“Well where is he NOW?”
“Well he went to ‘pee’ but that was two hours ago…”
“Oh god, what if something’s happened? What if he doesn’t want to be my best man, what if…”?
“What if you shut up and we went to look for him?” Mikey cut in.
“Yeah, your right lets go…”
We looked around everywhere but couldn’t find him. I don’t know where Mikey went but I assumed he was still looking when he texted and said ‘he’s not at the back, M’ so I kept looking. I was walking past the restrooms and eying them as I walked. Surely he wasn’t still in there… so I walked in and sure enough there he was sitting on the floor.
“Hey Frankie”
“Huh? Oh hey…” he replied looking up then down again.
“It’s about to start man, we gotta go. How long have you been in here?”
“I dunno, my watched stopped ages ago… I don’t feel too good”
“Shit… um come we’ll get you a drink” I whispered extending down a hand. “Come on”
We walked into the little room again and I got him a glass of water. He looked a bit better after it too. We sat there till the priest guy told us we had to go.
“Well, this is it!” I smiled, the excitement bubbling up inside me.
“Yeah,” was all he replied.

As I stood at the top of the isle, watching the girl I was about to marry walk up towards us, I heard a sniff come from next to me. Frank, the man who didn’t cry when he broke his arm, the man that didn’t cry when he got 12 stitches in his side, the man that didn’t cry when we knew he needed to, was crying but trying to hide it.
“You okay Frankie? What’s wrong?”

Frank’s POV
Here I was, crying like a baby, watching Lyn-z walk down the isle beautiful, as ever, up to the man I love when I heard him whisper
“You okay Frankie? What’s wrong?”
I sniffed and wiped away my tears before answering him. “I'm fine, I'm just happy for youse I guess…” I HAD to lie I had to. I couldn’t just say ‘I'm crying because I love you, I have since forever’ and hope for everything to be okay.
He smiled and said “Promise we’ll always be best friends?”
“I promise” I sniffed, tears threatening me in the back of my eyes.

“Do you Gerard Arthur Way, Take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? In sickness and in health, till death do you part?”
“I do” Gerard smiled, holding onto Lyn-z’s hands.
“And do you, Lyn-z Ann Ballto, Take this man to be your lawful wedded husband? In sickness and in health, till death do you part?”
“I do”
Then there was the exchanging of the rings and the moment everyone had been waiting for. Well everyone but me. The biggest kiss of their lives… and it happened. The most worst thing I have ever been obligated to watch. I couldn’t help to let out more tears and quiet sobs. I cant wait till its over…
Once they had FINALLY pulled apart from each other and happily skipped back to the car to head off the after party, I snuck out the back doors, trying to control my tears and lighting up a smoke. I breathed it in slowly and deeply, calming myself down enough and headed to Rays car.
“Can I get a ride with youse?”
“Dude you aught to get a license, seriously” Ronnie laughed.
“Mmm… cant be bothered and plus, I get to see youse more often”
“Yerp, hey dude are you okay?” Ray said looking at me seriously.
“Yeah I'm just a little tired” I lied rubbing my eyes. “So can I get a ride or am I walking?”
“Walking” Ray laughed and then said “Nah your coming with us.”
I climbed into the back as Ray and Ronnie climbed into the front and started the engine. I lay back thinking about how shit my life’s gonna be without Gerard always hanging out and shit, Now that he’s married, I guess he’s on a pretty tight leash… we drove a few miles down the road to a brightly lit dance club.
We walked inside and I headed straight for the bar. I guess I'm gonna need a heap of drinks tonight… I sat down, ordered my drink and was quickly guzzling it down when Bob popped up beside me.
“So… got your eye on any chicks yet?”
“Not really…”
He raised an eyebrow. “Sure you don’t, tell me?”
“Well, I’ve been watching the black haired one dancing with the bride”
“Oh? Wait. That’s Gerard…”
“You finally caught on,” I laughed. “Nah seriously I'm not here for that shit… I'm only here for something to do. And not get drunk by myself…”
A few little kids ran passed wearing fairy costumes, crowns and everything, squealing and laughing, almost causing a man to drop all the drinks he was carrying. “Another one please mate!” I called to the bar tender. “Keep them coming…”
When I was totally and utterly wasted, all the fear of going up to Gerard gone, I stumbled up to him and asked him to dance.
“Nah Frankie, not tonight” he said before turning back to men I didn’t know and talking quietly.
“Pleeaasseeee?” I whined pulling on his jacket.
“Later…”
“But, Come on!!! This migh be da last chanze we ‘ave to dance together” shit I was slurring.
“Frankie, you’ve been drinking and I'm in the middle of a conversation…”
“Fine… Ill go dnce with Mikey, prick…” I said stumbling over to where Mikey was drinking. “D’nce?”
“Sure, less go” and we stumbled out to the dance floor. Knocking into people every five seconds, tripping over our own feet. Trying to keep balanced in the spinning room… Not long after we were dancing with a circle of little kids all joined hands and
I was wearing on of their tiaras complete with a necklace and red flower behind my ear. As the little girls giggled and yelled while dancing, I felt as if I couldn’t dance anymore. So I decided to go sit down, being followed by the little bunch of girls, who started playing and platting my rather longish hair.
“Poofter!” Bob laughed sitting infront of me.
“Nah Bob, Juss fucking bored…”
“You drank too much bro!”
“Nah, not enough… Get me nutha one?”
“Fine, stay here”
Like I was going to move… soon after they had finished with my hair they pulled out some kind of nail shit and put it on my fingernails, pink I think it was… and added more necklaces. Then out of nowhere Gerard popped up.
“Oh, who’s a pretty princess!” he laughed grabbing my cheeks.
“Me, kiss da ring bitch!”
“Nah, wanna dance now?”
“not loud ta move… Bob getting meh a drink”
“Come on… and I'm not really a prick am I?”
“Yes, you are, but I sill love you”
“Yeah? If you loved me you’d dance with me”
I couldn’t argue with that, even though I was gonna dance with him anyway. I grabbed his hands and pulled him closer to me.
“Juss like…” I stopped talking and smacked my forehead down on his shoulder.
“You all right Frankie?” he asked quietly as he held me around my shoulders.
“Mmmmmmm…” and I grabbed him around the waist. We danced for a while until I was literally falling over and he had to carry me over to the chairs. “Gee, I dun feel gud…”
“I'm sure you wont” he laughed. “Ill take you home, Ill be back”
I watched him walk over to Lyn-z and started talking quietly to her and she looked over to me disappointed. She never liked me…
We stumbled out to his car and I sat in the front looking at the sky.
“WOO!” I yelled hearing my voice echo off the buildings. “Hey Gee?”
“Hey what?”
“D’you know how much I relly luv you?”
“Nope, tell me”
“Dis much!” I yelled holding my arms open as far as I could stretch them. Then I looked at them and frowned. “Its relly more… juss my arms are too fuckin short…”
“Ha, ha, of course Frankie” he laughed. “Don’t worry, youll be married one day”
Little did he know I wasn’t planning on marrying anyone but him, knowing that it would never happen just made the hole in my chest feel bigger.
“You wait till I sober… I tell you”
“Mhm… “
We pulled up outside my place and I turned to him. “Thankssss”
“Do you want me to help?”
“Nopes… I can do dis ma-self”
“Okay,” he sighed. I opened the door and went to get out, not realizing I had left my belt still buckled causing me to snap back into the car, which made Gerard laugh.
“Fuck…” I whispered trying to unbuckle but failing miserably.
“Here,” he said getting out the car and round to where I was sitting. “It helps to press the button”
“I know, it keeps movin’”
“Nah, your just stupid” he laughed helping me out the car and towards my house.
“Hey! I think I been ere before!” I yelled smiling uncontrollably.
“Yeah, you have. You live here dumbass!”
“Really?”
“No, not really”
“Oh… would’ve been nice ay?”
“Dude…” he giggled.
He ended up carrying me to my room and laying me on my bed. I closed my eyes, still feeling the room spinning.
“You alright to change into your P.J’s yourself?”
“No… you do it…” I sighed keeping my eyes closed.

Gerard’s POV
I felt a bit weird taking off Franks clothes… I mean I’ve taken off Lyn-z’s loads of times, but with Frank it felt different. As I slipped his shirt over his head, trying to keep him in a sitting position, he groaned and complained of feeling sick. As I was putting on his singlet, I noticed a new tattoo on his collarbone. It was a small, black, broken heart with blood seeping out of it and a bandaid trying to keep it together. Why would he get that?
When I finally left his house and back to Lyn-z she was already asleep. So I quietly got changed and slipped into bed beside her.
“What took you so long?” she whispered turning to face me.
“I had to help him into his P.J’s and into bed…” I yawned, putting my hands around her waist. “He was so drunk… I wasn’t sure if I should of left him by himself…”
“How can he be your best friend when youse are nothing alike? I mean, you don’t drink, he does, you don’t smoke weed and crap but he does, he’s loud and obnoxious your not, how can that be?”
“I dunno Zee, we just clicked when I met him in my first year of high school, you’d understand if you were me…” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I'm so tired…” and I fell asleep.

I woke up to my phone blaring out misfits. I let my hand out from under the covers and felt around till I found the noisy piece of technology and flipped it open.
“Hello?” I said barely over a whisper.
“Gee?”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, you sounded weird, um its Ray”
“Oh, hey what’s up?”
“I'm sorry if I woke you but, it’s Frank…”
My stomach flipped and my heart fell.
“W-What happened?!” I shouted into the phone. “Is he alright? Shit… I knew I shouldn’t of…” then I heard giggling on the line.
“It was a joke man! Ha, ha! I wish I had of seen your face!”
“That wasn’t funny Ray…” I said sighing with relief.
“It was, Sorry, wanna go get some coffee’s with me and Frank?”
“Yeah, Ill be there soon… Lyn-z ditched me and went to her parents for the weekend. I dunno why, their sick or something…”
“Alright cool, see you soon” he said hanging up.
I slowly climbed out of my bed into the cold air. I stretched up towards the roof, arching my back, hearing the click of my bones. Hmmm, what to wear… I slipped on some jeans and an Iron-maiden shirt. That’ll do… I brushed my fingers through my hair, put on a tiny amount of liner and chucked on my old beaten up converses. I ducked out the door, locking it behind me and jumped into the convertible, without opening the door and took off to star bucks.

“Hey gullible man!” Ray laughed when he saw me at the door.
“Hey little prick that scared the fuck out of me this morning” I said seriously.
“Hey Gee,” Frank said barely over a whisper.
“Hey Frankie”
“Hey, why do we keep saying hey?” Bob asked confused.
“Dunno, Its annoying the shit out of me at the moment…”
“Yeah, oh yeah! Gee, we got some awesome ideas for the band” Frank smiled, his eyes lighting up.
“Oh yeah? Tell me,”
“Well, Ray and I were thinking that maybe, we could have a whole vampire phase and…” he droned off as I stared at him. Something seemed different. Something seemed, missing. His eyes looked so empty, like there wasn’t any happiness anymore.
“What do you think?” he and Ray said together.
“About what?”
Frank and Ray frowned. “The ideas…”
“Oh, yeah shit sorry I wasn’t listening…”
“Yeah, you were busy thinking about your wife huh?” Ray laughed as Frank looked down at his coffee. “I never thought you’d be the one to get married, I always thought Mikey would, even though he is engaged and all…”
Frank stared at his coffee so hard it looked as if he were trying to make it explode.
“You okay Frank?” Ray asked punching Frank softly on the jaw.
“Mmm, I dunno, yeah I guess, maybe”
“Hey bitch” I smirked as Ray looked at me. “Okay Ray, so you’re my bitch now, get me a coffee pronto!”
“Shut up. Fine… asshole…” he muttered as he walked over to the counter. My gaze went over to Frank who was still staring at his coffee cup.
“So…”
“Yeah so how’s being married?”
“Not much different to being non married actually…”
“Oh…” was all he replied.
“You havent been the same lately, is something wrong?”
“Nope,”
“Frank”
“Nothings wrong,”
”Frank, tell me the truth”
“Nothing the hell is wrong!” he said with anger.
“Frank I can see there’s something wrong, tell me what the fuck it is!”
“Its nothing, I gotta get home…”
“Why?”
“I have to feed my… Cat…”
“You don’t have a cat.”
“I could and you just havent seen it”
“You’re a bad liar, tell me or ill stalk you home and demand you to tell me there too” he cracked a small smile thinking I was joking, which let me tell you, I was not.
“Oh well, Bye” he said getting up and leaving, me sneaking behind him. As he walked down the street I slowly followed, leaving my car behind. A couple of times he looked behind and I had to quickly think and look for something to hide behind or in. Finally we reached his street and he casually walked to his house and opened the door to barking dogs, as usual… I jumped over the fence into the backyard and went through the back, quickly siting down at the kitchen table like I had been there the whole time. I heard Frank sigh and he walked past me and looked in the fridge grabbing out the carton of milk, drinking over half of it at once, which he spat out and choked on when he saw me sitting there.
“How the fuck did you…” he choked, wiping the milk and spit off his chin. “How’d you get in my house?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Dude, you were just at starbucks and now you’re in my house, start talking”
“I'm just a figment of your imagination, I can be anywhere you want,” I teased.
“What? Seriously Gerard cut it out…”
“Cut what out?”
“What your doing, I know your not a ‘figment of my imagination’”
“That is where your sadly mistaken you see, I only come up when you want me the most and when you think you don’t need me but you do. Its always been this way, don’t you remember?” this is gonna be funny I thought.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah” I sighed. “You don’t believe it, I'm sorry ill just erase myself from your memory…”
“Noway! IF you ARE a figment, you’re the best figment ever”
I looked up at the clock. “MTV hits list is on in about 5 mins, don’t miss it”
“Yeah right, like Id miss that…” he said walking into the lounge room. I followed closely behind.
“So Gerard, hows Lyn-z?”
“She’s fine… shit!” I yelled when I saw the look like ‘ha suck, I caught you’ on his face. “Damn you Frankie…”
“Yeah well now that we know your ‘real’ why are you here?”
“For you to tell me what’s wrong”
“I told you no-“
“Fuck Frank, I know something’s wrong. You’ve been so fucking depressed lately its worrying me!”
“Yeah, right, you were to caught up with the wedding shit that I wasn’t even in your life for about two months”
“What? You were always in my life, you were the one that help me with most of the shit”
“Yeah, right. You disagreed with everything I said”
“No I didn’t?”
“No? You asked me what colour roses you should have. I said red but you said no and went with white. You asked me about the invitations, I said those awesome white ones with the gold frame around the edges, but you said no, again, and chose some gay looking yellow ones…” he sighed. “The only thing you did agree with me on was the tuxedo… which you rocked in…”
He was right. I did disagree with him, but why? I really couldn’t pin point it. Why the fuck did I disagree with the things he said?
Then it hit me. We planned this shit when we were little, around 6 or 7, when we were ‘going to get married’. We wanted red roses, awesome invites, fucking rocking tuxedo’s, even though he never EVER has liked tuxedo’s, the biggest wedding cake ever… I miss those days…
“Hey Frankie do you remember when we were young? When we always wanted to-“
“Get married, yeah… The good days…” he said finishing what I was going to say. “I wish we were back in those years where we didn’t have to give a shit about anything than what we believed in…”
“Fuck so do I…”
“But Lyn-z…” he sniffed.
“Oh Frankie, don’t cry!” I said softly, pulling him into a hug. “Please don’t cry…”
“Gee now your married we cant have all these good fucking moments together anymore!” he cried into my shoulder.
He was right. Now I was married to Lyn-z, my life to do with the guys is over. Hell she doesn’t like the guys much I wont see them as much anymore.
“Frankie, Shhhh, don’t cry okay? Its alright”
“No it isn’t, it never will be… I… I'm tired… I'm just gonna go to bed… If you wanna stay you can. Make yourself at home like old times” he sighed pulling away from me and walking down the hallway. Fuck…
I sat on the couch, falling asleep when my phone rang. Hell yeah! Misfits!
“Hello?” I answered groggily.
“Hey baby!” Lyn-z’s voice said happily. “Did I wake you?”
“Nah, I wasn’t fully asleep yet…”
“I called to let you know I have to stay here for two weeks, I know it’s a long time but mums sick and dad cant take care of her cause of his sickness… Are you at home?”
“I'm at Franks, he was upset and crying and shit, I had to calm him down, he’s asleep now”
“Oh…” she said disgustedly. “Mum, I told you to stay in bed! I'm sorry, I have to go ill see you when I can, bye! I love you!” and she left me to the beeps of disconnection.
“Hmmm…” I sighed flipping my phone shut again. As I continued staring at the photo on the wall, I remembered so much shit.

-FLASH BACK-
“Forget about the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, You wear me out-Woo!” I sang into the microphone as we rocked out in Franks dads garage.
“Yeeahh!” Bob said happily, hi-fiving Ray who turned to Mikey smiling and hi-fiving him.
“Now all we gotta do is get a gig!” Mikey exclaimed, almost hyperventilating.
“We could try to get into that talent show thing at school this year” Ray said looking around at each of us, waiting for an answer.
“Sounds like a plan!” I smiled. “Now we need a name…”
“How about, ‘Early fire’?” Ray said after a little while. “Don’t ask, it came to mind…”
“What about The Broken?” I said realising it was probably gay. I turned to Frank who hadn’t talked since we had finished playing. “Frankie?”
“Huh? Oh, um what about Ghosts In The Snow or, The Black Parade?” he suggested staring at the floor.
“Awesome,” I said writing them down.
“Shit! Gee I need to go to that stupid book store!” Mikey exclaimed, jumping up and putting his bass down. “Before it shuts”
We ducked out the garage and down the street to the store.
“Help me find the book?”
“Mmm…” I replied looking in a box.
“I got it Gee!” Mikey squealed from the back of the store.
“Got what?”
“The book, duh!” he replied holding ‘Ecstasy: Three Tales Of Chemical Romance”
“Oh, right, go pay then, ill be outside” and that’s where I waited. We went back to Franks to find them all still there, Frank in the corner playing a random song on his guitar and singing along with it. I never realised this before, but I always noticed Frank before ANYONE. Mikey walked over near him and threw the book onto the table and grabbed his bass again. It was pretty quiet, apart from me quietly singing some lyrics and the sound of franks beautiful voice and guitar when all of a sudden he shouted
“I got it!”
We all looked at him like he was crazy and as if to ask what do you have.
“The name I mean…” he blushed.
“Oh yeah, what is it?” I asked smiling the biggest, goofiest grin in the world.
“My Chemical Romance!” he squealed.

-END OF FLASH BACK-

The night he came up with our band name, the night he got us into the talent show, the night I will never forget.
“Hey Gee, want a coffee?” I heard Frank sniff from behind me.
“Yeah” I said with my voice cracking and on the verge of tears.
“Are you alright?”
“Mmm, I will be… maybe” I replied covering my face with my hands. Those are going to be just memories, Ill have no more band. No more of anything… No more Frankie…

Frank’s POV
I seriously couldn’t stand Gerard, the love of my fucking life, being married to her. I really couldn’t. I just wanted to tell him and kiss him until the end of time but I couldn’t. He was a married man now; I can’t do anything about it.
“Gee I uh, I decided something…” I said, just over a whisper.
“Huh?”
“I'm going to move… I'm going to move back to New York”

4 years and 6 days later… (Frank’s POV)
I sat at the desk in my apartment, writing an article for the newspaper I now worked for when I started thinking about the man I could never get out of my head. Gerard Way. I remember promising we would be best friends forever, never leave each other and now here I am, in New York and Gerard god knows where with what’s her name? Lyn-z? I threw my pencil at the wall, it landed on the pile of other pencils I have thrown over the last week, which was about thirty, and put my head on the desk. I wonder what he is like now… I thought picturing him. I wonder if he’s changed…
“Frank I'm going to work now, if I’m not home by two call me okay?” Lily, my roommate, said walking into my little room.
“Wow, you look… different” I replied looking at her white, hardly buttoned blouse, black leather skirt and black-heeled boots up to her knee. More make up piled on than usual.
“Shhhh” she giggled. “I'm glad to have a mate like you that accepts my job”
I smiled. She said I was the only one that appreciated her apart from her clients, which is a different appreciation than mine. Lily, is a genuine, New York, all American prostitute. But god she is pretty, coming from a gay guys perspective. Too god damned pretty to be a prostitute.
“Alright, Ill see you later” she winked and left the apartment.
Back to being lonely… Good one Frank.
Shut up.
Well its true, your just Frank that loner!
Your me dumbass, you’re a loner too.
Well if I’m you, you just called yourself a dumbass.
I really have to stop talking to you…
I got up from the desk chair and made my way over to the window, opening it and sitting on the windowsill. The smell of petrol always lingered around here in New York, no matter where you go. No colour, a lot of smoke, bums and posties, Not that there’s anything wrong with them. This is the concrete jungle for you…
I closed the window once again and went to the T.V, switching it on and flicking through the channels and stopped on MTV, who just so happened to be playing, you guessed it; My Chemical Romance, I'm not okay.
“Mother fuckers!” I yelled throwing the remote and the screen. God why do you do this to me? I lay down on the couch and was just falling asleep when my phone rang.
“Hello?” I answered groggily.
“Hey Frank! What’s been happening?” it was Mikey. Why he was calling me at this time and after a year is beyond me…
“Nothings been happening, what’s up?”
“Nothing much, Just that I'm… Getting married!” he squealed, making me hold the phone away from my ear.
“That’s great!” I smiled, at least one of us shall be happy. “Who’s the lucky girl?”
“Alicia!”
“You still with her? Mikey that’s wonderful!” I said still smiling; the smile wouldn’t seem to go away.
“I know, I wanted to know if you’d be my best man,” he said before a crackle, shifting the phone to the other ear I presumed. “You know, since you’re a fucking awesome friend of mine and I havent seen you in so long”
“Of course I will Mikes, how could I say no?” I laughed.
“So, found anyone?”
“Nope…”
“No one? At all?”
“Nope, I’ve been a loner since I moved here and will carry on in being a loner till the day I die” I replied. God knows that’s the truth, the one person that I loved and wanted to be with was taken, Ill never love anyone else… Speaking of him… “Hows the guys?”
“Fine, Ray, Bob and Gee are still tight friends, we’re all awesome, be better if you were here though man… we all miss you!”
“Yeah… Shit was too much for me so I moved in with this girl named Lily, my room mate, she’s awesome”
“Oooohh, Frankie’s got a crush”
“Nah, I don’t actually. She’s just a really good friend”
“Yeah well, I sent out the invitations, you should receive it in like the next three days” he said happily.
“Cant wait man, I get to see youse all again!”
“Hells yeah! Maybe you could stay down here for a little while?”
“Maybe,”
“Well I have to go, I'm taking Alicia out for dinner tonight, Ill talk to you soon alright? Bye!”
“Bye Mikes” I returned and hung up. Wow, Mikey was getting married. I mean Mikey of all people! He was always the type that said ‘I'm never giving my life away to marriage’ and here he is getting married. How things have changed.
I went over to my cupboard flipping through the clothes till I found it. The same old tuxedo I wore at Gerard’s wedding. Oh great… I put it on, happy that it still fit me but angry that I had to wear a tux again. I fucking loathe them… I happily took it off again and paraded around in my boxers until I finally decided to go to sleep. I lay in my bed listening to the sound of cars and sirens from below and the occasional helicopter shining its bright beaming light on the city. It was much more quiet in Belleview… Much, MUCH more quieter. Eventually I fell asleep only to be woken again by the sound of the misfits playing. My ring tone, funnily enough…
“Mmm?” I said as an answer.
“Uh, Frank?”
“Yeah?” I croaked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out my eyes before focusing on the clock. Three in the fucking morning!
“Oh cool, you sounded different. Did I wake you up?”
“Nah I was already awake at fucking three AM,” I said sarcastically.
“Oh, shit sorry man… Um its Ray by the way”
“I know who it is, how are you man?”
“Great to be honest, missing you heaps. Can’t believe there’s no more My Chem.”
“Yeah… that’s what happens when people get married…” I sighed.
“Yeah, stupid Gerard! Ha, ha oh well… hows life in the big city?”
“Noisy! I hardly get enough sleep with out receiving calls from lunatics named Ray Toro” I giggled.
“ha, ha, sorry, I should of waited till tomorrow but I was bored so…”
“Yeah its fine” I said quietly as I heard the front door open and close. “Lily? Is that you?” I called into the lounge.
“Yeah its me babe, sorry if I woke you!” she called back.
“I was already awake, Friend called me”
“Oh, okay then, I'm off to sleep. See you in the morning!”
“Night!” I yelled before getting back to the phone conversation. “Sorry, my roommate came home”
“Its cool, Lily huh? She hot?”
“She’s rather pretty” I said keeping quiet. “You going to Mikey’s wedding?”
“Hell yes! That’s what I called about, are you going? Did he ask you yet?”
“Yeah, dude of course I’m going! I'm the best fucking man!” I squealed.
“That’s both Way weddings, some people have a favourite!”
“Your just jealous” I said sarcastically.
“Totally, well I probably should let you get back to sleep… you should introduce ‘Lily’ and me” he said eagerly.
“Mmmk, I will one day” I laughed. “Bye then”
“Bye” and he hung up. Wow… two phone calls from people I havent talked to in so long in one day! I’m so good… I fell asleep for the second time and this time nothing disturbed me. This time, I had a bigger smile on my face. This time, I wasn’t thinking about Gerard.

I woke up around twelve in the day, I know. Don’t I get up early? I slowly climbed to the end of my bed and stretched, messing up my already messed up hair before making my way to the lounge. I flopped onto the couch to find sponge bob on. Hey, I might be twenty-three but I’m aloud to still love sponge bob! I was in the middle of a pretty good episode when an envelope caught my eye on the coffee table. It was a fancy gold-rimmed envelope with the name Frank written in perfect, fancy handwriting. Mikey’s wedding invite! I opened he envelope carefully to revile a white, gold-rimmed card inside that read:
Frank,
You are invited to the wedding of Mikey Way and Alicia Harris
In the Belleview Chapel on the 23rd of September.
We would love to see you there, Best man.
Love from Mikey Way and Alicia Harris.
Twenty-third! Oh my god that’s only four days away now! I have to get them a present! I grabbed my keys and dashed out the door, not bothering about a note or whatever for Lily and drove down to the shops. Hmm… Pans, pots, Toasters… Definitely not! Umm… god I don’t know what to get them! So I ended up buying a waffle maker and a few coffee mugs. I really didn’t know what else to but, I mean I havent seen them in so long!

-WEDDING-
As I drove up and parked outside the Chapel, I saw Mikey, ray and Bob standing down the stairs near the door. A smile crept across my face and I quickly got out my car and ran up to them, hugging them the minute I was in reach. They obviously never saw me coming because when I hugged them, they almost screamed and wet their selves.
“Frank!” Mikey squeaked and hugged me tighter. “I'm so glad you’re here man!”
“We’ve missed you so much!” Bob said joining the hug.
“I love you man, you’re never leaving again!” Ray laughed and joined too. We stood there in a little reunion when Mikey decided we should go into that ‘little room’ where he was meant to be. When I walked in it all looked familiar to me. The small room, the full body mirror, the expensive champagne… then it hit me. This was the exact room, exact chapel Gerard was married in. Fucking memories…
“Oh god I'm so nervous!” Mikey exclaimed, his voice trembling and him shaking all over.
“Relax, its all good. Just picture everyone but me naked”
We laughed and then the old guy came and told us we had to go. Mikey took a deep breath and followed the man, me close behind.

The last time I stood up here I was watching the man I loved get married to some bitch that had always hated me. Even before she knew me. I never liked her anyways… So I stood there watching one of my best friends in the world get married to the one he loved. I couldn’t help but to feel a little jealous… I wanted Gerard but he had Lyn-z. Speaking of Gerard… where was he?

After the kiss of their lives they did the same thing Gerard had and skipped their way down to the car and headed for the party. Again I stood there like a complete idiot… and again I went out the back door for a smoke but I never got to the door because a hand stopped me, grabbing my shoulder.
“Hey,” it was that voice… I had heard it before… I turned around slowly to see a smiling Gerard, his hand still on my shoulder. I swear my heart almost leaped out my chest and I almost screamed.
“H-Hey” I stuttered. “H-How have you b-been?”
“Good I guess… could be better though, how about you? Found anyone yet?”
“Nope… probably never will” I replied as two people walked passed. “No one but you…” I muttered.
“So hows New York?”
“Meh, New York’s New York, loud, dull, boring…”
“Yeah, that’s a city for you… so I heard your staying down here for…”
“A couple of days yeah”
“Yeah, I’ve missed you heaps man… I was kicking myself in the head when I lost contact with you… I was pretty… depressed…” he said quietly.
“So how’s Lyn-z?” I said reluctantly. Sure times have changed, but I still hate her…
“Dunno” he replied looking behind himself. “We uh, kinda split…”
“Fuck… Really? But youse were great together” I really didn’t want to say that but it was true. They are loved up, well, were loved up…
“Yeah… it was all me though”
“When?”
“About a year after you left…”
“”Oh, if you don’t mind me asking w-“
“You guys coming to the party?” Ray shouted down the long hallway.
“Yeah!” Gerard shouted back. “Come on, let’s go…”
I ended up giving Gerard a lift. It turned out his car got smashed up on the highway a couple of weeks ago and he didn’t have the money for a new one. We drove to the party in near silence, the occasional cough or sneeze or whatever, but he broke the silence.
“So why havent you found someone Frankie?”
“Havent been looking…” I replied. “I'm not good enough for anyone”
“Bullshit! You are you’d enough for any lucky fucker!” he exclaimed staring at me.
“Nah, anyone’s lucky to have not met me”
“I bet there’s a girl out there just waiting for you… right under your nose…” he sighed and looked out the window once again. There was more silence until we arrived at the after party. I pulled up near the door, I knew I had to be close if I was gonna drink. I know, drunken person plus driving equals disaster. But who cares right? Not me, not anyone. We walked inside, Gerard being greeted by Mikey and me walking straight over to the bar. Its funny how the Way brothers have the exact same wedding things… this time, the little girls from 4 years ago were now nine or ten, not into the whole ‘princess shit’ anymore, and they weren’t running around giggling and screaming, they were talking about boys and stuff. Yeah, I thought a little too young too but it doesn’t really matter much huh?
“Can I get you anything?” the bartender asked.
“Yeah, anything, whatever it is just keep it coming… I plan to get totally wasted tonight…” I sighed. Not long after, I had drank four beers and needed to piss. But I really couldn’t be bothered. I looked scanned the area for the one and only, Gerard Way. And funnily enough, there he was talking to, who is that? LYN-Z!?

I watched them talk for a little while longer before stumbling over to Gerard.
“Hey Gee, wanna dance?” I shouted over the beat of the music.
“Hello to you too Frank”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, hello” I mumbled. Anger filled her face and looked as if she was going to have a go at me when Gerard quickly cut in with a “Yeah, lets go”
I grabbed his hand and lead him out to the dance floor, bumping into people everywhere. I took hold of his other hand and started to move.
“See? Last time it wasn’t going to be the last time we danced together” Gerard smiled.
“You, you remember me saying that?” I stuttered.
“How could I forget? You begged me to dance and I rejected you, so you danced with Mikey” I grinned.
“I thought you would have forgotten” I said as the music died down into a slower and much quieter song. Still holding hands with Gerard, he pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist, my arms immediately going around his neck. We swayed in time with the music, my head on his shoulder and his head on the top of mine.
“You know, I was totally gutted when I lost touch with you…” Gerard said quietly into my hair. “You promised you’d be my best friend, always”
“I AM your best friend, I always WILL be your best friend, I just…” I sighed. I couldn’t tell him now, I really couldn’t.
“Frankie, promise me we’ll keep in touch, all the time. I never want to lose my bestest friend ever again” he whispered pulling me tighter into his chest. It felt great to be this close to him, after all these years apart. The smell of his after-shave and a hint of tobacco and coffee made me feel dizzy, he smelt so good. I swear, if I could stay this way forever I would. But that ended way too soon.
“Woo wooo!!” Bob shouted from the bar at us. “Go Frankie!”
“Shut up man!” Mikey said from next to him, punching his arm.
“What why? Oh shit, there’s trouble…” Bob said staring behind me. I slowly and fearfully followed his gaze behind me to see Lyn-z standing there, a look of disgust on her face mixed with anger. Shit…
“Gerard, dance with me?” she said in the best, flirty voice she could.
“Zee, I'm kinda dancing with Frankie, later…”
“Pleasseee?” she whined stomping a foot on the floor.
“Zee im-“
“Well last time I check Gerard, you weren’t gay and that was just last week!” she spat, glaring at Gerard.
“What, well I uh”
“Trying to fucking hit on my girlfriend huh?” a man boomed, putting his arm around Lyn-z.
“What? no”
“Hey, isn’t this that little bastard you hate?” he asked her motioning to me. I stood there, afraid of what might happen if I moved or talked. She just nodded and the man cracked his knuckles.
“Darren, what ever your thinking about doing just don’t!” Gerard said walking towards, Darren as his name was, who just pushed him out the way and kept going towards me, smirking at my blood drained face.
“Darren! Lyn-z stop him!” Gerard pleaded, grabbing her shoulder. She just smiled and nodded at Darren. “PLEASE!”
“Why do you care about him so much?” she hissed. “He did abandon you an move away, not keeping in contact”
“Because-“
“And then, four years later its like he never left, why is that?”
“Because h-“
“He ruined our marriage Gerard! So how could you even-“
“Because I love HIM!” he yelled.
“Fucking Faggots!” Darren yelled, drawing his fist back and colliding with my face. There was a burn in my nose and a liquid dripping down my chin. Fuck… tears filled my eyes as a regained my balance. “Awwww, little princess heres going to cry!” he laughed as he took another hit, sending me to the ground. At this point the party had stopped and people just stood there watching, terrified to stop it. Apparently Darren was in a gang or some shit… I stood up, holding my now painful jaw and looked at him, tears streaming down my face. I could barely see a thing, the last thing I remember seeing before I ran was Gerard’s pale white face, tears flowing from his hazel eyes and a sorry look on his face. I ran out the club, I ran across the grass and to my car, climbing inside it, closing and locking the door. I slammed my head onto the steering wheel and cried my heart out, the pain from my nose and jaw making it all worse. At that moment I hated my life, I hated Lyn-z more than ever and whoever this Darren guy was, I hated him with everything. As I sat their crying, letting my nose bleed all over the tuxedo I had had for many years, there was knock on the window, which startled me. I looked up to see Gerard’s tear stained face staring back at me.
“Go away” I sniffed, wiping some of the blood off my face with my sleeve.
“Frank, open the door”
“No!”
“Please, Frankie just please open the door?”
“No, I-I'm sorry Gee, I… Just go away!”
“Frank Anthony Iero! Open the door now!” he yelled with more tears escaping his eyes, his fist pounded on the window. I couldn’t stand to watch him cry, I really couldn’t. Reluctantly, I unlocked the door just for it to swing open quickly, the air pressing on me and then Gerard swept me up into his arms, crying into my shoulder.
“I'm so sorry Frank, I'm so fucking sorry” he cried.
“Fuck, don’t be sorry Gee, its not your fault” I cried back.
“It is…”
“Gee, what you said, the reason you ‘care’ so much about me, is that true?” I asked, digging my head into his neck. I heard him take a deep breath before replying with a quiet and croaky “yes”
My heart wanted to leap out my chest and dance right infront of Gerard and anyone who saw. So as I was sitting on Gerard who was sitting in the drivers seat of my car, I actually felt happy inside, even if I didn’t look it.
“I'm sorry Frankie… For everything” he choked. “I know your straight and-“
I couldn’t take anymore sorry’s, I couldn’t find enough strength to talk, so I kissed him. There and then. He looked kind of shocked at first, his eyes widened when my mouth clashed with his, but then he seemed to relax, then smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me tighter.
“I love you too Gee” I whispered, nuzzling my blood dried face into his neck. We stayed that way for a little while before he suggested we headed home, where ever that was going to be for me… he suggested I stayed at his place till I HAD to go back to the city, which at the moment I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t just ditch Lily…
When we got back to his place, we sat huddled up together on the couch, practically asleep with a single blanket thrown over us.
“Gee?” I whispered, hoping he was awake.
“Yeah?”
“Will you um, maybe, well if you wanted to, be uh, my um, Boyfriend?” I stuttered and then held my breath. There was a silence. Fuck, I think I just got rejected… I thought. “I'm sorry…” I said getting up off the couch.
“What? why? Sorry I was just thinking… I would absolutely LOVE to be your boyfriend Frankie, I love you” he whispered grabbing my waist and pulling me back on the couch. “You don’t know how long I have wanted this…”
“Gee, I think I’ve wanted this way more than you” I said, smiling into his chest. “Why do you think I cried on your wedding night? And kinda disappeared for a few hours…”
“I'm sorry Frankie” he whispered hugging me tight. “We’re together and nothings gonna stop us now”
“I love you Gee” I smiled, my eyes welling up with tears.
“I love you too, Frankie” and he kissed my head.

-ONE YEAR LATER-

The first time I stood at the end of this isle, I watched my bestest friend, my lover, get married to someone else.
The second time I stood at the end of this isle, I watched my best friend, and my lover’s brother get married to a lovely lady.
This is the third time I have stood at the end of this isle, and this time, its my turn.
I watched as my soon to be husband walked down the isle with his father, just as a bride would have done. Tears filled my eyes as I saw the beautiful man walk towards me. I extended a hand as he walked up the stairs, which he happily took and held on to as the priest talked. We exchanged our vows, I do’s and rings and the moment I had been waiting for, the moment I couldn’t watch when other people did it. The biggest, best kiss of my entire life, and it was with the one and only lover of mine, Gerard Arthur Way. After the best kiss of my life ended, just like he and Mikey had done on each of their weddings, we skipped down the isle and to the car and took off to the same club for the after party. We danced, sang, laughed and drank all night until we couldn’t anymore and left for home. Gerard’s home. Our home.