Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7 > Missions

Mission 68

by Mikari 0 reviews

Mission 68: Smart

Category: Final Fantasy 7 - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Elena,Reno,Rude,Rufus Shinra,Tseng - Published: 2010-06-24 - Updated: 2010-06-24 - 1143 words - Complete


Mission 68: Smart

Reno stood dumb-folded, further proving the point that Rufus had just expressed when he called the Turks to his office that morning. "I'm not stupid!" The denial only made him sound more lacking in the brain department, as anyone who was smart, should not need to point it out.

Rufus was feeling nice that morning and decided to elaborate, "I know you're not stupid, you have some useful skills," building explosives, finding blackmail, sneaking around, surviving being thrown against walls and off buildings, piloting a vast variety of vehicles, getting drunk on orange juice, among other talents. "The point is people think you look stupid."

"I look cool!" Reno insisted, "I have fan girls!" Not just fan girls, but also a ghostly stalker, a shape shifter body of thoughts, a being created by the love of his fan girls, far more powerful than any remnant of Sephiroth ever was. It was a scary thought, but also something that filled him with pride.

"We all do," Rufus reminded, though clearly he was grimmer about it then Reno, as the distraction sometimes became annoying to his work, while Reno welcomed all distractions during work.

"I have fan boys," Elena grinned, the discovery had been truly amazing to her as she had been feeling ignored among the Turks, but she soon realized that perhaps it was not so unique after all, "but I guess you all do too."

The four men in the office cringed, "there's no need to discuss this," Rufus half growled, he didn't need to remember the fan boys. "Anyway, the point is that for the sake of public relations I'm giving all of you the mission to make Reno look smart; that is all, you are dismissed."

xoxox xox xoxox

Tseng, being the leader, decided to give the issue the first attempt. He made Reno sit down at the Turks office and began to brush his hair. Of course Reno didn't sit still, so he had Rude hold him in place. "Some of this... just like that... okay, you're ready!"

Reno looked in the mirror with a tortured expression. His hair was flat and well brushed, not a single hair out of place. Plus the sticky stuff Tseng put on it made it appear darker instead of the overly bright red that made him stand out.

"Go walk around the city to show how smart you look," Tseng ordered, despite Reno's complaints, pouts and sad kitten eyes, "that's an order Reno! Rude, make him go."

xoxox xox xoxox

At the end of the day Rufus viewed the results of an online survey, Reno was still thought of as stupid and no one really liked the unidentified new Turk whom they did not believe to be Reno. He couldn't possibly be Reno, his hair wasn't bright enough and his expression was sad and uncomfortable instead of cheery.

xoxox xox xoxox

Having failed, Tseng stepped aside to allow Rude to give the mission a try on the next day. By then Reno's hair was fixed to his bright messy style and he was feeling much better.

Rude tried to make Reno appear smart by stopping him from saying anything silly. However, try as he may to get Reno to stay silent, it never lasted long and Reno would always blurt out some random silly comment about something or other. The quiet Turk gave up mid day and allowed the Rookie to give it a shot.

Elena's idea was simple but classic; she got a pair of glasses and had Reno wear them. They were not geeky bottle-bottoms, as that would be too excessive, instead the glasses has a classy elegant frame that looked pretty good. The Turks thought that Elena had found the solution to their mission, but then Reno started running into walls and tripping over his own feet. Alas the glasses were not regular glass as initially assumed, but actually prescription and they did not match Reno's eyes at all.

Elena had apparently found them while cleaning Healin Lodge in an old box labeled 'aniki', though no one really knew why Rufus kept such things. She had mistakenly assumed the glasses, despite the box's mysterious label, belonged to Rufus and he had them as a non-prescription accessory, since the Turks knew he didn't really need them. As a result of Reno's clumsiness, despite looking cool, his level of stupidity went up on the public polls.

xoxox xox xoxox

The next day happened to be a Sunday and though Tseng wanted to continue the mission until it was done, Reno stuck away. The other Turks, under Tseng's workaholic insistence, tracked Reno down to Rocket Town.

Puzzled by his location, the Turks observed Reno quietly as he helped Cid with his airship. They knew Reno loved flying, though he wasn't as obvious about it as Cid. They also knew that they had actually become friends due to their mutual interest in flying machines after Shinra and the former Avalanche made peace. What they did not know was that Reno had such a geeky side to him, actually calling the airship parts by their technical names and using terminology that most regular people might not understand at all, while discussing the inner workings of the airship's design.

xoxox xox xoxox

When Monday came around, Rufus was surprised by the public opinion survey results many of which labeled Reno as some kind of mechanical and aviation engineering geek. Cid was angry that his airship parts were filmed, while the Turks secretly filmed Reno for the purposes of their mission, but he was assured his copyright would be protected by Shinra and didn't make too much of a fuss after being bribed with some shiny new airship parts.

Nonetheless the general public was not happy, Reno was still cool, attractive and overall fan girl worthy, but at the same time a big nerd which did not make any sense. They feared the contradiction was due to some kind of severe mutation he had kept hidden for years and was finally becoming too unstable to suppress. Surely the redhead Turk would soon become insane and start burning down random little towns all over the planet.

Resigned to the inevitable failure of their mission, the Turks decided to tell people that the video was a fake, and that the geek talk was a voice-over by a paid actor, because Reno wasn't even smart enough to read those big words from paper. People believed it immediately and calmed down.

Rufus ultimately canceled the mission, concluding that trying too hard to get approval was not worth it and that unless you want to be labeled as a mutant freak, you should just be yourself.

End of Mission 68

Disclaimer, I don't own Final Fantasy VII. Mission 68 was requested by Naruta13, to make Reno look smart. The glasses were Lazard's.
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