FicWad

A/N: Italic parts are song lyrics, regular text is the story. Enjoy. Peace, love, empathy xx

And if you save yourself
You will make him happy
He'll keep you in a jar
And you'll think you're happy
He'll give you breathing holes
Then you'll think you're happy
He'll cover you with grass
And you'll think you're happy
Now

Made the "wise" decision of not killing myself because of depression. It's all for him though. I love him..... I think. Sometimes he never lets me leave. He's probably just protecting me because he cares, right? I get to go places with him sometimes though. But one night... things went very wrong. We were at a friend's house, and we were all squeezed together at a really small table. I guess he had thought that some guy and I were playing with eachother underneath the table. Now, I have a huge black bruise circling my eye. "That'll teach you," he had said. I wish he would realize there is no one else. I have so many scars...

You're in a laundry room

He's also been getting really lazy. He makes me do everything around the apartment. And if I forget sometrhing, anything at all, I get hit. So many bruises...

Conclusion came to you

The few friends that I have left (he doesn't like me talking to anyone. Not even family) tell me that I need to leave him because they think thinks will only get worse. I choose not to believe them. Why? Because I love him more than anything. I also think we can work things out together.

And if you cut yourself
You will think you're happy
He'll keep you in a jar
Then you'll make him happy
He'll give you breathing holes
Then you'll think you're happy
He'll cover you with grass
Then you'll think you're happy
Now

My depression has been getting alot worse lately. Now I cannot go anywhere at all. I can only make phone calls, when he's not around of course. I can only imagine what he'd do if he caught me using a phone....
I'm trying to help the pain. So I've been cutting the insides of my thighs. I really just want to end it all, to leave this life behind. The slight numb feeling I get from it makes me feel a little better. I still have to push forward though. It's all for him....


You're in a laundry room
Conclusion came to you, oh

I've lost alot of blood from the cutting. I've decided not to tell anyone though. That could only make things worse, and I really don't want anyone worrying about me. I'll be fine, right?
I've been getting dizzy from the blood loss. It's gone to my head and now I get so forgetful. As before, more bruises came along. But there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, right?

And if you fool yourself
You will make him happy
He'll keep you in a jar
And you'll think you're happy
He'll give you breathing holes
Then you will seem happy
You'll wallow in your shit
Then you'll think you're happy
Now

Now isolated from everyone I once knew. But I try to add a little positivty, I still have him. That's all I need, right? I can't feel it when he hits me anymore. I've grown immune, but I don't let him know that. He could very well beat me harder. I doubt he would. He loves me, right? I still have all the bruises and scars he gave to me, but they'll go away and I'll pull through. He'll come to his sense eventually, right?

You're in a laundry room
Conclusion came to you, oh

All the numbness and dizzyness is taking over. My legs are so red, covered with sticky red blood and sore cuts. Soon I'll leave this Earth, this life. Leave it all behind. But while I'm still here, I hope he stops. I loved him. Shit. He's calling me now, better brace myself for what's to come.