FicWad

Here I am, eight months into my pregnancy. The baby should be coming at anytime. Pharclaun and I were wandering around in one of the many parts of the jungle-istic forest on the island. I was about four feet in front of him. He's been keeping such a close eye on me since I started to finally show.
"Fisona?" I got so used to being called that, I'm a little afraid that I've forgotten my actual name. I stopped, turned around and walked up to him.
"Yeah?"
"I've been thinking a lot lately, and...well..."
"Is something wrong?"
"Well, -sigh- I'll be leaving in a few hours, t-to go, back. And-"
"You're just gonna leave me here?!? All by myself-"
He held my hands, "And I want you to come with me."
"Y-you want me, to go back, with you?"
He pulled me closer, "Yes, I do. So...will you?"
I stared at him, then looked down at the baby, and back up at him, "Yes, I will."
-
He had built a boat, rather than a raft. We left the island, and I watched as it disappeared yet again. No longer than an hour passed, and we reached the shore of the lake. After Pharclaun anchored the boat, he jumped out. I stood.
"Fall back."
"Excuse me?!" Did he just say "fall back"? Is he crazy? Well, sort of.
"Fall back. I've got you." So I let myself fall, he caught me and carried me to the nearest tree. Why to a tree, I have no clue. But, then again, this is Pharclaun. The unexpected. "How do you feel? Do you feel nauseous at all? Or dizzy, do you feel dizzy? Do you need to ly down?"
"No, Pharclaun, " I giggled, "I'm perfectly fine."
"Perfectly fine?!?" I gasped and turned around. Shrek. "You do know that you're pregnant, right?! Cause I sure as hell do!" I walked to him.
"Shrek! Calm down!" I reached him, and he raised his arm beside me and pointed at Pharclaun.
"And this!"
"Shrek-" I placed my left hand on his raised arm.
"Who's this bum?!"
"Hey, who are you calling a bum?!" Pharclaun marched up to us, Shrek rather.
"Pharclaun, don't." I tried to keep a good distance between them.
"Is he the father, Fiona?!"
I heard Pharclaun gasp, "Fiona?"
"Shrek!"
"Is he father?!!"
"Shrek, no! You are!!!" They both had gasped. I felt a sudden rush to my head. I placed my hand on the baby. I looked down, "Oh no."
"What is it??" They asked at the same time.
I looked up at them, "My water broke."
-
I'm constantly seeing bright light after bright light. I'm being rushed to the emergency room. Wow, what a trip. Doctors and nurses trying to stick needles inside me, and I kept trying to push them away.
-
"Oh no." I heard.
"Oh no?! What's going on??" I tried to get out. I felt weak and tired.
"Fiona? Listen to me. I'm going to need to you to not push, okay? Do not push." The doctor told me.
"Doctor, what's wrong?" A nurse asked him.
"The umbilical cord is wrapped around it's neck." They tried to whisper, but I still heard it. Oh my god. Is my baby going to die? I started to black out.
"Doctor!" another nurse said, almost yelled, "She's crashing!!" My heart was pumping faster and faster. And so rapidly, it became slow.
"Fiona! Stay with me!" I felt it when they finally pulled the baby out. "It's a boy." He said. I heard him cry. I heard my baby boy, cry. Then I heard the longest sound I've ever heard. "Fiona? Fiona!!"
-
Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep... Is what I slowly woke up to. I blinked my eyes open. I looked around, I was in a regular hospital room. My hair, was down. No longer in the braid it was in. "Fiona?" I looked to my right, and Shrek stood up, walked up to me and sat on the side of the bed. He put his right hand on my face, "Y'know? I've never, not even when we were little, have seen your hair down."
"Is that a problem?"
"No. It isn't."
I looked around again, "Where's Pharclaun?"
"Oh, he left not too long ago. Said he's been away from home long enough. Said after holding the baby, he realized what it meant to have a family."
"Oh."
"He wanted you to know that he hopes you'll always be happy. He prays that you will be."
"Oh, I wish I could tell him thank you." Baby?! "Where's my baby? Shrek, where is he?!"
"Fiona, calm down. I'll go get him for you." He walked over to the other side of the room, and came back with a blue bundle in his arms. Something about Shrek was off. Different. I couldn't really put my finger on it. "Here you go." I sat up and he carefully handed him to me. Just as I removed part of the blanket from his face, the sun began to rise, and it brightened the entire room. Sunrise. Nothing changed. I should be human by now. Why am I not human? I looked down at him. He was an ogre. He was the most precious ogre, baby, I've ever seen. "Fiona? Is something wrong?" I looked to Shrek, and I got it. I finally got what was so different. Shrek was, an ogre as well.
"Y-you're an-an ogre."
"Yeah. I know."
"Why?"
"Well-"
"Because the baby was born after sunset. And we all know that after sunset you're an ogre. So the baby was born an ogre. And since Shrek is the baby's biological father, and the baby was born an ogre, that immediately turned Shrek into an ogre. Making this the perfect family just for the baby." A nurse walked into the room.
"Well, uh, I was going to say something totally different." Shrek said.
"What were you going to say?" I asked.
"Well, I want you and the baby to be happy, Fiona. And if that means making changes, then, so be it."
"Aww. Thank you, Shrek."
"So, have you decided on a name?"
"Yeah, I believe we have."
-
Three years later...
"Fergus." I called. I took a step outside, and he fell from the on top of the house.
"Ha ha ha! Hi mommy!"
"-sigh- Fergus. What am I going to do with you?"
"Love me, mommy. Love me."
"Come on," I set him on the ground, "daddy made dinner. Your favorite."
He gasped and his cute little face lit up, "Fish eye tar-tar?!?!"
"You bet. Now, come on inside and get washed up."
"Okay!!" Wow. He's growing so fast. I have everything I ever wanted. But why can't I shake the feeling that something's missng?