Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A Road Called Loathing
About an hour into the continuation of the trip, Margot clambered up into the front seat to sit passenger. She nodded every now and then in answer to Brendon’s occasional, “You okay, Mar-Bear?” The car ride was mostly silent after that, and it was killing Brendon. He wanted to say something, anything, to make Margot feel better. She didn’t seem to be in a feel-better mood, though. “Here,” he said, knocking open the glove compartment, startling her. “Pick a CD. Any one. Whatever you want.”
Margot slowly sifted through the pile of CD’s that had fallen into her lap, before slipping one into the player and filling the car with its music.
Love of mine,
Someday, you will die,
But I’ll be close behind.
I’ll follow you into the dark.
No blinding light,
Or tunnels to gates of white,
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs.
If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks,
I will follow you into the dark.
“Kinda depressing, Margot…” Brendon said, shooting a quick look her way.
“Why do you think that might be, Brendon?” Margot said, listless and sad-sounding.
“I know why,” Brendon snapped, losing a bit of his patience. “ All I’m saying is, it’s probably not a good idea to listen to sad music if you’re sad. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry if I’m not in the mood for a happy dance song. If you don’t like what I choose, then pick something yourself.” She turned toward the window, staring out as raindrops began to fall heavily on the glass, rolling down in criss-crossing patterns.
The subject was dropped, and Death Cab For Cutie continued to spill out sad songs into the car’s atmosphere.
Soon, a sign welcomed the pair to Mammoth Mountain Ski Lodge and Resort, and both teens felt a sinking in the pits of their stomachs. They pulled up to the cabin that was always theirs and Brendon honked the horn, signaling the parents to come out.
“Margot--” Brendon began, but was cut off.
“Do you really think I would tell my parents I got drunk and had sex with you?”
“No, I guess not.” He cut the engine and got out of the car, opening the trunk to get to the bags in the back seat. He grabbed both his and Margot’s bags, heaving both into the cabin which both their parents were exiting.
“You two are finally here!” said Brendon’s mother, Grace, excitedly. She planted a smacking kiss on Brendon’s cheek, ruffling his hair slightly as she hugged him.
“Mom,” he panted. “The bags.” They were quite heavy, and having to stand around while his mother coddled him was not a choice situation.
“Oh! Right, sorry, honey.” She allowed him to continue into the house, signaling that the father should help with the bags, as well.
“Margot! Honey, you must be freezing!” Donna ran out to her daughter, who had just stumbled from the car, clad in nothing but plaid pajama shorts and a T-shirt. She barely seemed to notice the wind chill, or the freezing snow crunching between her bare toes. The mother wrapped an arm around her, trying to shield her from the harsh winter-cold. “Are you sick? Do you have a fever?”
“I’m fine, Mom. Really,” Margot added at her mother’s skeptical look. “But I’m tired. It’s hard to sleep well in the car. I’m going to take a nap.”
“Okay, honey. Remember, your bed is on the left, and Brendon’s is on the right.”
“Yeah, believe me, I remember.” Margot murmured under her breath. She made her way back to the room that she and Brendon had always shared, collapsing on her usual bed.
“Margot.” She opened one eye and saw Brendon standing in the door way.
“What more could you possibly want from me?” Margot placed her palms on her eyes, groaning slightly, wishing she could fall asleep.
“I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about what happened…” Brendon was rubbing the back of his neck nervously, wondering if he should close the door for privacy. He did, and inched a bit closer to the bed that Margot was resting on.
“Nothing happened,” Margot told him firmly.
“That’s not true, and you know it,” Brendon said, sitting on the edge of her mattress. She lifted her head to look at him, furrowing her eyebrows in a frustrated manner. She sighed heavily before laying her head back down.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is something to talk about, Margot. There are actually quite a few things to talk about. Number one: how do you feel?” Brendon placed his hand on Margot’s shin, running his thumbs in circles over her leg. She tried to shake him off, but he wouldn’t relent, so she gave up.
“How do I feel about what?” she asked sourly, not looking away from the ceiling.
“How do you feel about the fact that we--”
“Okay, okay!” she said hurriedly, not wanting to risk one of their parents hearing. She sighed again. “Look…Can’t we just pretend it didn’t happen? We were both pretty smashed. Let’s chalk it up to teenage angst and leave it at that, okay?”
“No, not okay, Margot. You’re obviously incredibly attracted to me, otherwise you wouldn’t have--”
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. I’m the one that’s attracted to you? I seem to remember that you threatened to bring Spencer up on charges for being the first one to get in my pants.”
“That’s because what he did was not right. He took advantage of you. That doesn’t mean I care about you.”
“If you don’t care about me, then why were you so keen on protecting me from scrawny little Spencer Smith?”
Brendon opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, then opened it, then closed it again. He opened it once more, intent on saying something to contradict her, but his jaw just hung slack, not knowing what words to form. “Well…” he said, searching his mind for something, anything, to say. He couldn’t think. “Well…Maybe I do care about you…but that’s not--”
“And why are you in here right now, trying to comfort me? And why are you all of a sudden being so nice to me?” Margot fired question after question his way, questions that he couldn’t answer, because he knew the truth and didn’t want to tell her. The pressure, however, seemed to be pressing in around him. Her questions, along with his confused thoughts, caused a mini-overload in his mind.
“Fine! Fine! Fine! Yeah, okay? I might be kind of attracted to you, but--”
“But what? You have that slut, Victoria, and can’t be bothered with me, right? Honestly, I don’t give a shit, Brendon. I don’t need Spencer, and I most certainly don’t need you. Alone is fine with me, if you people would just let me be! Go call Victoria, she’s probably biting her acrylics clean off in anxiety, wondering why you haven’t called her. So go, please.”
Brendon continued to sit on Margot’s bed, his heart sinking into his stomach. He didn’t want to leave, and certainly didn’t want Margot to think that he could pick Victoria over her, but…What was he supposed to do? Break up with her? And go to Margot, of all people? His reputation would plummet quicker than you could say, “Remember Brendon?” It was totally out of the question, regardless of how strong his feelings may have been for Margot. Oh, Margot. He remembered holding her, smelling her hair, kissing her…
“Go!” she repeated, kicking him. Margot got under the covers, burying her head beneath her pillow. Brendon wanted to say something, to make Margot understand that he did care about her, he just couldn’t date her, but he couldn’t think of how to convey that.
So he did what she told him to do, and left the room.
Gahhh, I'm sorry this took so long to update. I've been busy with Drama stuff, even though it's summer, and I've had other obligations. Gah! Okay, so...go rate/comment/subscribe, and I'll do my best to get another update up quickly. OverAndOutxx.
Margot slowly sifted through the pile of CD’s that had fallen into her lap, before slipping one into the player and filling the car with its music.
Love of mine,
Someday, you will die,
But I’ll be close behind.
I’ll follow you into the dark.
No blinding light,
Or tunnels to gates of white,
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs.
If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks,
I will follow you into the dark.
“Kinda depressing, Margot…” Brendon said, shooting a quick look her way.
“Why do you think that might be, Brendon?” Margot said, listless and sad-sounding.
“I know why,” Brendon snapped, losing a bit of his patience. “ All I’m saying is, it’s probably not a good idea to listen to sad music if you’re sad. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry if I’m not in the mood for a happy dance song. If you don’t like what I choose, then pick something yourself.” She turned toward the window, staring out as raindrops began to fall heavily on the glass, rolling down in criss-crossing patterns.
The subject was dropped, and Death Cab For Cutie continued to spill out sad songs into the car’s atmosphere.
Soon, a sign welcomed the pair to Mammoth Mountain Ski Lodge and Resort, and both teens felt a sinking in the pits of their stomachs. They pulled up to the cabin that was always theirs and Brendon honked the horn, signaling the parents to come out.
“Margot--” Brendon began, but was cut off.
“Do you really think I would tell my parents I got drunk and had sex with you?”
“No, I guess not.” He cut the engine and got out of the car, opening the trunk to get to the bags in the back seat. He grabbed both his and Margot’s bags, heaving both into the cabin which both their parents were exiting.
“You two are finally here!” said Brendon’s mother, Grace, excitedly. She planted a smacking kiss on Brendon’s cheek, ruffling his hair slightly as she hugged him.
“Mom,” he panted. “The bags.” They were quite heavy, and having to stand around while his mother coddled him was not a choice situation.
“Oh! Right, sorry, honey.” She allowed him to continue into the house, signaling that the father should help with the bags, as well.
“Margot! Honey, you must be freezing!” Donna ran out to her daughter, who had just stumbled from the car, clad in nothing but plaid pajama shorts and a T-shirt. She barely seemed to notice the wind chill, or the freezing snow crunching between her bare toes. The mother wrapped an arm around her, trying to shield her from the harsh winter-cold. “Are you sick? Do you have a fever?”
“I’m fine, Mom. Really,” Margot added at her mother’s skeptical look. “But I’m tired. It’s hard to sleep well in the car. I’m going to take a nap.”
“Okay, honey. Remember, your bed is on the left, and Brendon’s is on the right.”
“Yeah, believe me, I remember.” Margot murmured under her breath. She made her way back to the room that she and Brendon had always shared, collapsing on her usual bed.
“Margot.” She opened one eye and saw Brendon standing in the door way.
“What more could you possibly want from me?” Margot placed her palms on her eyes, groaning slightly, wishing she could fall asleep.
“I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about what happened…” Brendon was rubbing the back of his neck nervously, wondering if he should close the door for privacy. He did, and inched a bit closer to the bed that Margot was resting on.
“Nothing happened,” Margot told him firmly.
“That’s not true, and you know it,” Brendon said, sitting on the edge of her mattress. She lifted her head to look at him, furrowing her eyebrows in a frustrated manner. She sighed heavily before laying her head back down.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is something to talk about, Margot. There are actually quite a few things to talk about. Number one: how do you feel?” Brendon placed his hand on Margot’s shin, running his thumbs in circles over her leg. She tried to shake him off, but he wouldn’t relent, so she gave up.
“How do I feel about what?” she asked sourly, not looking away from the ceiling.
“How do you feel about the fact that we--”
“Okay, okay!” she said hurriedly, not wanting to risk one of their parents hearing. She sighed again. “Look…Can’t we just pretend it didn’t happen? We were both pretty smashed. Let’s chalk it up to teenage angst and leave it at that, okay?”
“No, not okay, Margot. You’re obviously incredibly attracted to me, otherwise you wouldn’t have--”
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. I’m the one that’s attracted to you? I seem to remember that you threatened to bring Spencer up on charges for being the first one to get in my pants.”
“That’s because what he did was not right. He took advantage of you. That doesn’t mean I care about you.”
“If you don’t care about me, then why were you so keen on protecting me from scrawny little Spencer Smith?”
Brendon opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, then opened it, then closed it again. He opened it once more, intent on saying something to contradict her, but his jaw just hung slack, not knowing what words to form. “Well…” he said, searching his mind for something, anything, to say. He couldn’t think. “Well…Maybe I do care about you…but that’s not--”
“And why are you in here right now, trying to comfort me? And why are you all of a sudden being so nice to me?” Margot fired question after question his way, questions that he couldn’t answer, because he knew the truth and didn’t want to tell her. The pressure, however, seemed to be pressing in around him. Her questions, along with his confused thoughts, caused a mini-overload in his mind.
“Fine! Fine! Fine! Yeah, okay? I might be kind of attracted to you, but--”
“But what? You have that slut, Victoria, and can’t be bothered with me, right? Honestly, I don’t give a shit, Brendon. I don’t need Spencer, and I most certainly don’t need you. Alone is fine with me, if you people would just let me be! Go call Victoria, she’s probably biting her acrylics clean off in anxiety, wondering why you haven’t called her. So go, please.”
Brendon continued to sit on Margot’s bed, his heart sinking into his stomach. He didn’t want to leave, and certainly didn’t want Margot to think that he could pick Victoria over her, but…What was he supposed to do? Break up with her? And go to Margot, of all people? His reputation would plummet quicker than you could say, “Remember Brendon?” It was totally out of the question, regardless of how strong his feelings may have been for Margot. Oh, Margot. He remembered holding her, smelling her hair, kissing her…
“Go!” she repeated, kicking him. Margot got under the covers, burying her head beneath her pillow. Brendon wanted to say something, to make Margot understand that he did care about her, he just couldn’t date her, but he couldn’t think of how to convey that.
So he did what she told him to do, and left the room.
Gahhh, I'm sorry this took so long to update. I've been busy with Drama stuff, even though it's summer, and I've had other obligations. Gah! Okay, so...go rate/comment/subscribe, and I'll do my best to get another update up quickly. OverAndOutxx.
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