FicWad

Ryan offers me a lift home after dinner, which I instantly accept. At one point he had grabbed my hand under the table, making me jump and blush constantly the rest of the night. Victoria and Jackie's knowing smiles to each other weren't helping either. It was great catching up with Spencer and reliving some of the better times I'd had as a child, but I couldn't wait to get out of there.

Ryan opened the door for me and I hopped into his black Audi. The drive took less than a minute, being only half a block away, and neither of us felt the need to say anything. As he turned off the engine I unbuckled my belt and opened my door without a word, an obvious indication that I expected him to follow me.

"Wow, this brings back memories." he mutters as we walk the path to the front door.

"Yeah I know. But trust me, the outside is the only thing that looks the same." I open the door into the newly decorated living room. Ryan trails after me in awe as I give him a brief tour of the downstairs.

"You did all this?"

"Well, I had help. I really only put it together." I couldn't keep the pride from my voice.

"It looks amazing. Really. It's changed so much." Still grinning proudly I lead him upstairs. I show him the spare bedroom, which used to be my own, and open the curtains.

"There's your old room." We stood looking out the window for a while, then I sigh, closing the curtains and turning away.

"How did it happen?" he asks as I show him the final renovation; the master bedroom.

"Cancer. Started in His liver and spread. Not that I knew, I just got a letter saying 'Here! Have a house, on you're old man!'" I say with sarcasm. I sit on the edge of the bed, averting my eyes from his penetrating gaze.

"This might sound horrible, but I'm not sorry. Not that anybody deserves to die ... but He got what was coming to Him." Ryan sits softly beside me. "Must be hard being back."

I shrug, "Not really. I had a bit of counseling and thought about it for a long time when I was younger, then I just buried it deep down inside me so I didn't have to actually face it." I laugh shakily. "I'm sure my real feelings will all come out one day in a counseling session in prison after I go on a massive killing spree." He doesn't say anything and stare at the wall. "I try not to think about it."

"Sorry."

"Thanks." I keep looking at my feet, "For everything that happened back then. You- you have no idea how much you helped me. If it wasn't for you ..." I trail off, my eyes tearing up. Being sexually abused by your father was bad, but being stuck in a house and constantly raped by Him?

I would have killed myself.

I blink rapidly. "You saved me. Ryan." I try out his name aloud.

"I wish you had told me when it first started, I could have saved you so much more ..."

"It's ok. You helped me in other ways. Just being able to ... sneak out, without Him knowing, that was what made me feel strong enough to leave."

"The Cubby." He smiles slightly at the wall.

"We were so young."

"I had no idea what I was doing."

I laugh. "Trust me, you did absolutely fine. Perfect. No one compares to you, George." I say softly.

"Ryan."

"Whatever." I mutter, hiding my smile.

"Nobody even comes close to you Sam." My eyes shoot up to his face, which is still looking at the wall. "You were my best friend." He sighs, "You didn't know this but you always cheered me up when I was sad, and you never asked questions about ... Dad. You were always there for me. And when you left, things got a lot worse and I didn't have you there to keep me sane. I had to remember the nights in The Cubby just to stop myself doing something stupid." His voice gradually becomes a whisper and he is still facing the wall, his eyes lost in memories. "It was my happy place. In there, with you, no one else, just us. And that's all I had.

"Right up until I started writing. I mean you had your Mom and people helping you ... I didn't have that, and you were gone. It made me miss you so much more. I keep wondering what would have happened if you found some way to stay without Him." I grab his hand, like I did all those years ago in The Cubby, on our first night. He looks at it for a few seconds, then smiles at me.

He holds me so gently, and we stay there, wrapped in each others arms as our lips move of their own accord. His tongue entwines with mine and I push my mouth harder against his, needing him more than ever, and finally I am able to show him how much he means to me. I kick off my shoes and stand in front of him as I fumble with the clip on my dress. He stands and kisses me, which makes it even more difficult to concentrate, but I manage, and the top falls down to my waist. His hands roam hotly over my skin as I fumble with the buttons on his shirt. The dress pools to the floor and I am left standing in nothing but a g-string. I don't deliberate on my nakedness and continue to kiss him hungrily as he takes over with the buttons and I start on his belt.

Ryan sits on the bed and pulls me with him, rolling me over as his tongue rakes my mouth. He pushes his pants and boxers off, then removes my underwear. The bloody is pounding in my ears, making it hard for me to think, which is just as well, because if I could have even a second to think about what I was doing - what I had dreamed about since I was fourteen - I would surely freak out. He smothers my mouth with his and I clutch at him. I gasp into his mouth as he enters me, letting my head fall away from his and matching his urgency. I push myself to him, drawing him in deeper and biting my lip to stop myself from crying out.

For the first time in my life, I feel complete. The feeling is incredible, like being filled with every emotion at the same time and being completely lost in them. I drown in feelings, not knowing whether to cry or laugh or scream. As my orgasm rocks through me the only thought that runs through my head is that I could die right now and be completely satisfied.

I shudder uncontrollably for a few moments, tears leaking out of my eyes as I moan softly. Ryan slows down and my shudders finally cease. I laugh, I always laugh, and the tears fall, the sea of emotions finally spilling over. I open my eyes to see him looking at me with a twisted smile. I touch his face with a heavy arm and he bends down, kissing me with overwhelming passion. I moan again and he lifts his face off mine.

"I love you." I smile at his responding elated grin.

"I love you."

I close my eyes again as he starts to move again and a moan escapes my throat. "Oh God you have no idea how good that feels." I whisper.

He kisses me again and I clutch at his shoulders, unable to keep the whimper from escaping into his mouth. I gasp as I feel another orgasm build. Oh God. He thrusts harder, erratically, and as he tenses I explode with him. He collapses on top of me as our shudders subside, and I smile, gently trailing my fingers across his back. He kisses my neck and props himself up, smiling.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"Believe me, I have been waiting just as long as you." He chuckles and kisses me again. "Seriously Ryan, you only had a memory to deal with. I had to watch you for the last however many years. I wanted to see you so many times but I knew you'd never remember me, and I didn't want to ... make a complete fool of myself." He rolls off me and pulls me to him.

Cuddling me close, he softly murmurs, "I loved you for so long. Spent so many nights thinking about you, dreaming about you. Wasted so much time without you." I kiss him desperately, the tears leaking out of my eyes as he caresses my face, my arms, my stomach, then holds me tightly and covers my mouth with his.

I pull away. "You make me feel so much," I whisper into his neck as I blink through the tears. "My heart is beating so hard, it feels like it's going to explode." I laugh a little. "It sounds stupid but it's actually starting to hurt."

"Believe me, I know how you feel. I do." Ryan whispers fiercely then kisses my mouth softly, slowly becoming more passionate. "I would do anything, anything for it to be just us again. I love you so much. Too much." My mouth closes on his and his tongue wraps around mine. I cling to his shoulders as he pushes me back to the pillows, our lips sucking at each others desperately.

And we escape. Just like we did eight and a half years ago when we were only thirteen, escaping our fathers, our pasts, our presents. Time. We escape.

To our own World.




FINISHED!!!!! Sorry it took so long for me to put this up, I'm very slack, and I also really don't like the way it ended. That's the biggest problem I have with writing, I can never end a story well lol.

I have another story that I'll put up here eventually, I think it's a LOT better than this one, but I don't have an end lol

Anyways, just want to thank everyone one for reading and thank you soooo much for the lovely reviews, especially JokeMeKisses, absolutely blew me away =D lovelovelove you all