FicWad

I examine my reflection in the mirrored wall of the bathroom, nervously pulling at the dress. The backless halter gown swishes silkily against my black heels and I pull a face. It is way over the top and I know it, but when I tried on the dress it looked so great that I couldn't say no. It is held up by a thin chain of diamonties that connects behind my neck and trails half way down my back, and the loose front of the dress doesn't show off too much of my breasts. I have my long black hair in an updo to draw focus to the gaping back of the dress, which stops just above my panty line. It belongs on the red carpet, not in the Smith's living room.

I screw up my face, "Blagh!" and poke my tongue out. Through the make up I can almost make out the thirteen year old girl I used to be. I take in a deep breath, push all my nerves deep into my fluttering stomach and attempt a smile. It would have to do, I decide, grabbing my long coat and heading out the door. I decide to walk, simply because I know I will be so nervous that I will probably crash, I don't want to ding my baby. And it was only half a block.

The light night breeze cools my face and I close my eyes. A million thoughts are running through my head and I try to calm my nerves. What the hell and I going to say? What are they going to say? They probably don't even remember me. They'll be polite but the whole time waiting until I leave. And George probably has a girlfriend. For some reason it was never something I could stomach researching. If he did I would have gotten depressed. If he didn't, well I know I would have acted like a stupid teenager with a crush. After all, seeing him was a complete fantasy come true. And being with him? My cheeks flush. I had already played out every scenario in my mind thousands of times. But that is where they would remain, in my mind, because it would never happen. He wouldn't even remember me.

I draw a deep breath, hold it, then exhale as I knock lightly on the front door. A few seconds later Victoria opens it and ushers me in.

"Oh you look gorgeous!" She claps her hands together and smiles.

"You don't think it's too much?" I worried, "I feel so overdressed."

"No, you look perfect. They're in the living room." she informs me as I hang my coat. I exhale again and smooth my dress as Jackie dances towards me, squealing. We hug briefly.

"Wow! You look stunning!" I have never seen someone grin quite that wide.

"No way, look at you! You look perfect!" She does a little twirl and we giggle.

"They are going to freak when they see you! Spenny has no idea who Mom's 'mystery guest' is, it's hilarious." She waltzes into the kitchen, to gossip with Victoria no doubt, and I slowly walk toward to living room.


"I hope your Mom's not trying to set me up again."

Spencer chuckles lightly before replying. "Nah, I think it's just a cousin I haven't spoken to in awhile." I step around the corner. "It's probably Derek, Mom was talking to Aunty -" Spencer - who is cuddling a brunette on the love seat - breaks off when he sees me. George is stretched out on the sofa and turns his head around to see the mystery guest. Only it's not George. He has changed so much, all of his boyish features have hardened and he has, incredibly, grown taller. He is now a man, still gorgeous and still with the same deep honey eyes, but he is no longer George. He is Ryan.

Spencer smiles at me tentatively. "Hello."

"Hi." I reply with a nervous smile.

"Uh, you're not one of my cousins are you?"

"Dude, if she's related to you, I'm the Pope." I shoot an amused glance at Ryan and laugh softly.

"You don't remember me? That's not surprising, it's been awhile." I pause, watching Spencer's face struggle to place mine, before glancing quickly at Ryan. I smile nervously again. "Guess I'm not such a ... 'stinky pooper'? anymore ... isn't that what you used to call me Georgie?"

Spencer mutters, "Stinky pooper" followed by a louder "Cooper! SAMMY!" He leaps off the couch and wraps me in a rib crushing bear hug, twirling me around in the air, all the while nearly yelling, "I don't fucking believe it!" I laugh as he eventually puts me down and stares at me. "Look at you, you're a fucking woman! How the Hell did that happen?!"

"Language!" I hear Victoria yell, listening in to every word of course. Ryan still hasn't said anything, he is just staring.

"Sorry Ma!" Spencer yells, then turns back to me, "Shit! I never would have believed it! Jesus fuck Sammy, you look like a fucking model!" His grin is infectious and return it quickly.

"SPENCER!!" He grimaces guiltily as I watch Ryan walk towards me slowly. He wraps his arms gently around me, and I squeeze his shoulders slightly, wanting desperately to tell him how much I have missed him.

"No we grew up together." I hear Spencer mutter from miles away. Ryan peels himself from me and pulls us down to the sofa. "This is my Hayley Sammy, and that's Sammy Cooper. She used to live around the corner and we were best friends for ages!"

"Bennett now actually, and still live around the corner. I got the house." Ryan's hand that is absently playing with his jeans tenses slightly. "I've just finished renovating it. Well, nearly."

"That's awesome!" Spencer is still grinning at me and I laugh. "So what happened with you? You just dropped off the face of the Earth!" I shift uncomfortably as Ryan sneaks a quick glance at me, I'm starting to feel warm and I can hear my heart pounding in my chest with nerves.

"Uh, I moved to Florida. With Mom. She came to pick me up one day and ... yeah. Just left."

"You look ... nothing, like you used to!"

"Well neither do you guys. Famous rockstars." He chuckles lightly. Ryan still hasn't said anything. I glance at him again but he turns away and looks at the TV.

"Yep. Panic at the Disco."

"Yeah I've heard some of your songs. The lyrics are shit and the drummer can't keep a beat to save his life." Spencer laughs loudly.

"Sure. What have you been doing? Modeling?" His face was straight and I'm not sure if he was being serious.

"Uh, no. I'm studying. Architecture. Which is fun. Can't wait until it's over though, studying constantly is pretty boring." His facial expression is one of utter enthrallment and I have to laugh.

"I just can't get over it! It's been ... what, ten years?"

"Eight." Ryan speaks for the first time.

I smile. "And six months."

Spencer starts laughing again. "Remember that time with the supersoakers at Ryan's? And I got you right in the face!" He cackles, "And then you chased me all the way back here. And I pushed you in the pool! Oh that was classic!" I shake my head.

"Yeah ... You guys loved picking on me." He continues laughing as we hear his Mom call out. He stands up sighing and takes Hayley with him into the kitchen, leaving Ryan and I alone on the couch.

Taking a deep breath I turn and smile nervously at Ryan. His lips twitch a little as I exhale. "Hey." My voice is small and soft, barely above a whisper.

"Hey." He turns away and looks at the TV, and I notice for the first time that his cheeks are slightly pink. It would be nothing compare to mine, they feel like they're on fire. "So ... you're back."

I just nod and he shoots me another quick look. I smile, but I honestly feel like I'm about to vomit. My stomach is churning and my heart is beating faster than a humming bird. He smiles slightly and glances down at my crossed legs.

"You look really great." I blush a little as he quickly focuses back on the TV.

"Not so yuck hey." I say with a smile, glad that he is finally talking to me.

"I never thought you were yuck." He pauses briefly, a slight smile playing on his lips, "I ... Actually I had a bit of a ... crush on you. Back in the day." My eyes widen.

"You're kidding! I had the biggest crush on you! Since I was like ten!"

"Yeah I know." I wait for him to continue, horrified. "You always used to blush and giggle when I was around ..." He looks back at me briefly, leaning back into the couch before continuing. "I never really thought anything of it. But I remember seeing you after school one day laughing. And ... Yeah, it hit me like a truck. I always made sure Spence was around after that."

"He wasn't always around." I point out, blushing.

Ryan whips around to stare at me for a moment, "You remember that?" The color on his cheeks deepen.

I shrug trying not to grin like an idiot, "How could I forget?" I pause. "That was the first time I ..." I look away and so does he, probably as embarrassed as I am.

"... Yeah. Same." I laugh nervously and recross my legs, smoothing the silk over them. "We ... had some fun times. In that Cubby." he says eventually.

"The best times of my life." I take in a deep breath and exhale quickly, "When I think of everything that's happened since then, and everything that ... happened before it ... Those last few weeks here were the best of my life." I swallow and look at my knees, keeping my feelings pushed deep down inside, numbing myself.

"I'm sorry." Ryan says softly. "I'm glad you got away." he whispers after awhile.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't leave ..." I mumble. His expression is grave, and I know this isn't the kind of talking I wanted to be doing. I tear my eyes away and stare at the wall. "But, there wasn't any way I could have stayed without ... going completely mental." I laugh and sit up a little, sighing. We sit in silence for a few moments before we both caught each other's glances. I smile nervously and tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"So ... Bennett. You got married." He doesn't meet my eyes and I laugh softly.

"No ... I changed it when I went back to Mom's. Bennett was her name before she got married." I pause. "She remarried a few years ago, but I'm staying a Bennett." At least until I get married, I think. He seems to relax slightly and when he turns back to me his eyes roam quickly over my face

"You don't look that different, you know." I smile as he examines my face with his warm eyes. "I knew it was you as soon as you walked in. But I kept telling myself it was impossible. And then you called me Georgie ..." I laughed as his faced grimaced.

"Georgie ..." I grin, "I'd never get used to calling you Ryan. I look at you and I still see that skinny little thirteen year old boy who I used to ..." I drift off and glance away nervously, "... hang out with in The Cubby." I smile at him nervously, unable to bring myself to admit what really happened between us.

Ryan smiles at me and I turn away, blushing profusely. After a moment he clears his throat slightly. "It so weird that you're here. I was thinking about ... the last night ... I had a dream about it. It's so crazy that a few weeks after that you're here. I was thinking, like, Spencer and Jon remember their first kiss but they don't remember exactly who it was and it wasn't anything special ..." He pauses and smiles at me without meeting my nervous gaze. "That last night ... I remember wishing it would never end."

I look into his eyes briefly before fixing my stare on my hands. "I remember one time I really needed to go to the toilet but I didn't want to leave." He grins and I smile back.

His face softens and my eyes travel involuntarily to his lips. I didn't have any pictures of him as a child so I couldn't say they were the same, but they were familiar. I imagined that same clean taste that Georgie always had and I couldn't help flicking my tongue quickly over my lips. Ryan shifts and sits up slightly. I tear my eyes away from his beautifully soft lips and adjust myself too; the squirming in my belly and the memories swirling in my head are making my thighs tingle with warmth. When I look back at him his face is closer, his eyes dark and his pupils large. My heart beats hard in my chest as he moves in and I close my eyes.

The heat spreads right through me from the pit of my stomach out to my toes as soon as our lips meet, followed by a cool wave rushing over me. His lips are soft and wet, tasting dark and bitter-sweet, and I let instinct take over, completely giving myself to my senses. His hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me to him, his chest warm and hard against mine. My stomach swirls and the blood pounds in my ears, just like all those years ago. George was the only one who ever had this effect on me. Sure, I had been with other guys before, even loved them. But at the end of every relationship there was always a sense of relief where the sadness should have been. And making out had only ever seemed like a prelude to sex, which I had loved, but had never seemed overly remarkable.

My arms circle around Ryan's neck and I resist the urge to sigh into his mouth. It feels so wonderful, like going back in time to a simpler life. Of course, life wasn't ever simple for George and I, but when we were together the rest of the World seemed to fade away. His tongue grazes lightly over mine and my heart jolts as I respond to his passion. We were in our own World where I was enjoying the lightheaded feeling and the blood rushing through my system, until soft footsteps brought me back to reality. Ryan pulls his lips away hurriedly and glances back at Spencer as he walks over and flops himself on the couch. I glance quickly back at Ryan, the flush starting to creep into my cheeks. He has lipstick around his mouth and we are still criminally entangled.

"Oh don't stop on my account. Continue." Spencer's eyes are closed as he leans back, his expression one of exhaustion. No laughing or smiling or jeering. Like it is completely normal for you to walk in on your band mate and best friend of sixteen years, making out with his ex-neighbor and childhood friend that neither of you have seen in nearly a decade. I look back at Ryan, confused and embarrassed. He shrugs, kisses me quickly one more time, then pulls himself away and throws the remote at Spencer. He jumps, and flicks through channels as though nothing has happened.

"Oh, dinner's going to be out in five."




So there we go! Only one more chapter to go! I rewrote these last two so many times, I just couldn't get them right. I'm still not entirely happy with them. Anyways ... let me know what you think! Last chapter up soon!