Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Alfred A History
Harry left the Leaky Cauldron searching for answers. The resentment he had secretly been harboring towards those who had neglected to owl him could have been unfounded and he at fault. The guilt was hard to bear for one who had been so loyal for so long.
Walking down the streets of Diagon Alley was like going back in time. Boys still pressed their noses to the Quality Quiddich Supplies Window, and housewives still complained at the rising costs of potion ingredients. One glaring change was Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. The windows were crisscrossed with boards and a small foreclosure sign had been tacked to the front door. Shock was beginning to lose its impact on Harry. When he considered the Weasley’s situation, he felt sick to his stomach. He felt the need to once more be the hero. To save his friends from danger.
While he had fought nobly for the Wizarding World when it was being oppressed under Voldemort’s shadow, he had really only been fighting for the vague sense of the future that might be. With his long-term friends being directly threatened, Harry’s full sense of duty flew forth from the cramped space in his mind that it had been sharing with his magic.
Harry knew he had to find out if his practically adopted family was still alive. However, he was still Slytherin enough to know that he couldn’t just ask anyone, especially with how he looked now. Anyone who had helped hide them wouldn’t tell a stranger (he hoped) and others wouldn’t know. This was, of course, assuming that they had even had help hiding.
Harry stood close to the boarded up door, staring at the little sign but not reading it. In his mind he went over every possible place that he could imagine his friends hiding. It wasn’t until he thought about it that he realized how little he knew about his friends. Sure He knew that Hermione loved to read and her parents were dentists. But had he ever asked if her grandparents were still living or if she had any cousins? And Ron was even worse! He knew every single member of his best friend’s family, but he didn’t know of any place they could go other than the Burrow. He had always been the one in need of rescuing.
Thinking on this, Harry came to the conclusion that he was going to have to sneak into the ministry to check for other Weasleys among the records. Fortunately, as he was about to turn and leave, Harry finally noticed what the sign said.
Out to Lunch
If not back by 5
Out to dinner also
If not back by tomorrow
On Vacation
If not back by the time school starts
Swear.
To anyone but Harry, it was simply a funny way of putting ‘we got foreclosed’ as was expected of any proprietor of a good joke shop. The last two lines meant something to him though. Looking around furtively, our hero whispered, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” The letters flew into a neat boarder surrounding the message:
Go around back.
Harry was shocked. Not enough that he forgot to clear the message, but enough. He ran through a tiny ally to the back of the store. There was no door. Next to the dumpster there was instead a triple w marking on the pavement. Harry reached for it. And fell.
The trip wasn’t long and Harry landed on a large red pillow that looked like it had received quite a bit of use. Twin wands pointed at Harry until he smiled with joy and reverted to his actual appearance.
“Fred! George! What’s going on, it’s like the whole world went spare while I was gone!”
The wands dropped and Harry was lifted to his feet.
“Harry mate, the world has gone spare-”
“Completely topsey turvy-”
“Everyone is just dying to appease the new Dark Lord-”
“Dark Prick is more like it.”
“Wait,” Harry interjected, “Who exactly is the dark lord currently? It was a bit hard to keep track.”
The twins shared a pained look. “Well you see,” George started as they walked into the under ground room towards a bright orange table surrounded by blue chairs.
“There was a bit of a power vacuum when You-Know-Who died-”
“Tried to capitalize on it, we did.” They shared a smug look.
“Alas we were beaten out by the Dark Creep-”
“Darn Lucius.”
“First he takes our Mum, and then he takes our life’s ambition-”
“To be the greatest Prank Lords ev-”
“What! Wait a minute, what do you mean Malfoy took your mum?” Harry was shocked that they seemed to brush this off like a minor detail.
“Well, as you know”
“Or don’t know as the case may be”
“Our dad fought a lot with Mr. Malfoy-” Fred casually leaned back in his blindingly blue chair.
“Any chance he got really.” George leaned forward to share an amused look with his twin across the table.
“Turns out they used to be the greatest friends.” The twins stared at Harry as he processed this information, sniggering at the odd expression that came over his face as he tried to imagine the two as chums.
“That’s what we thought!”
“Apparently they had a bit-”
“Of a falling out over a girl.”
“Dad didn’t say which one-”
“But we aren’t idiots you know.”
“We know it was mum.”
“What?” Harry exclaimed. “I thought your families were in some sort of blood feud that had lasted centuries!”
Fred and George turned to each other and burst into laughter. By the time their eyes started tearing up; Harry got the feeling that he must have missed something.
“Ah ha ha, Ron and-”
“That little Malfoy twit-”
“Would make you thing that-”
“But really they just don’t like each other.”
“Little snots take it out on-”
“Absolutely everyone, and we-”
“Just think Malfoy’s a brat.”
Once again, Harry’s worldview was shattered over his head like the first bottle in a bar fight.
“Then, your mom and Mr. Malfoy-? But what about Mrs. Malfoy! And how-? Huh?” Apparently that bottle hit him pretty hard. “You know what? I really don’t want to know.” Harry shook away a few disturbing images and abruptly changed the subject.
“Speaking of: how is Ron doing?” Harry was considerably calmer. All his nervous energy was placed in the shaky stroking of an absent moustache, which he had grown used to but no longer possessed.
The twins sobered at this, “He, well, he had a fight with Hermione.”
“Turns out all the fighting and the nagging weren’t because she liked him.”
“Boy, was he shocked!”
“She wanted to go to a Muggle University-”
“There aren’t any Magical Universities you know-”
“Newts are the highest you can get-”
“ ‘Sides Apprenticeships for advanced jobs.”
“And guess where she got accepted?”
“The American University in Bulgaria”
“What!” Harry spat.
“Yea, apparently she ended up visiting Victor Krum on the sly.”
“She didn’t tell anyone because she thought-”
“And rightly so-”
“That Ronnie-kins would flip his lid.”
Harry interrupted again, “But how can she even be accepted in a university? She didn’t continue her normal studies did she? Oh its Hermione, of course she did!”
“Got it in one, old chap!”
“No wonder the poor thing was so tightly strung.”
“I can’t believe this, she’s in Bulgaria? That’s why she didn’t send me any letters I guess” Harry murmured morosely. “But what’s Ron’s excuse?”
The twins looked exasperated. “He’s at the zoo.”
“Today?” Harry asked, frustrated.
“Er, no.”
“You remember he got in a fight with Hermione.”
“She knows spells like you would never believe”
“Would be right scary if she ever turned to pranking”
“She right scary any way”
“Wish she would work for us”
“Yeah.”
They contemplated this thought for a moment, shivering in delight. Harry didn’t want to know what horrible things they were thinking up, but at the same time, he could appreciate the thought of Hermione backing up the twins shear creativity with her vast knowledge of spells.
Leaning back farther, Harry’s eyebrow moved up.
“The zoo?”
“Aah, well, Hermione is creative.”
“She-”
“Well-”
“Uh haha-”
“Spit it out.” Harry exclaimed.
“She turned him into a baboon.” They said in tandem.
“Said if he wanted a domineering wife he could have one.”
“We got him back to normal-”
“Eventually.”
“But apparently it was so nice at the zoo-”
“They fed him and he didn’t have to think or bathe-”
“That he didn’t want to come back to human civilization-”
“So we turned him back.-”
“But if you ever want to visit him-“
“You can go see the baboon exhibit at the London Zoo.”
“He is the one with the long red nose”
Breathing became an issue as Harry laughed. And laughed and laughed.
“I guess that’s okay then, we can still visit.” He forced out eventually.
“So,” Harry leaned back still farther in his chair. “How is everyone else doing? How is the old Quiddich team?”
“Ah, so glad that you asked!” George exclaimed as Fred stood up.
Fred opened an adjoining door, “Let me introduce you to-”
“Our lovely-”
“Minions,” they finished together as all the girls Harry had ever been on the Quiddich team with walked into the room wearing short magenta robes.”
Harry fell out of his chair.
Walking down the streets of Diagon Alley was like going back in time. Boys still pressed their noses to the Quality Quiddich Supplies Window, and housewives still complained at the rising costs of potion ingredients. One glaring change was Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. The windows were crisscrossed with boards and a small foreclosure sign had been tacked to the front door. Shock was beginning to lose its impact on Harry. When he considered the Weasley’s situation, he felt sick to his stomach. He felt the need to once more be the hero. To save his friends from danger.
While he had fought nobly for the Wizarding World when it was being oppressed under Voldemort’s shadow, he had really only been fighting for the vague sense of the future that might be. With his long-term friends being directly threatened, Harry’s full sense of duty flew forth from the cramped space in his mind that it had been sharing with his magic.
Harry knew he had to find out if his practically adopted family was still alive. However, he was still Slytherin enough to know that he couldn’t just ask anyone, especially with how he looked now. Anyone who had helped hide them wouldn’t tell a stranger (he hoped) and others wouldn’t know. This was, of course, assuming that they had even had help hiding.
Harry stood close to the boarded up door, staring at the little sign but not reading it. In his mind he went over every possible place that he could imagine his friends hiding. It wasn’t until he thought about it that he realized how little he knew about his friends. Sure He knew that Hermione loved to read and her parents were dentists. But had he ever asked if her grandparents were still living or if she had any cousins? And Ron was even worse! He knew every single member of his best friend’s family, but he didn’t know of any place they could go other than the Burrow. He had always been the one in need of rescuing.
Thinking on this, Harry came to the conclusion that he was going to have to sneak into the ministry to check for other Weasleys among the records. Fortunately, as he was about to turn and leave, Harry finally noticed what the sign said.
Out to Lunch
If not back by 5
Out to dinner also
If not back by tomorrow
On Vacation
If not back by the time school starts
Swear.
To anyone but Harry, it was simply a funny way of putting ‘we got foreclosed’ as was expected of any proprietor of a good joke shop. The last two lines meant something to him though. Looking around furtively, our hero whispered, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” The letters flew into a neat boarder surrounding the message:
Go around back.
Harry was shocked. Not enough that he forgot to clear the message, but enough. He ran through a tiny ally to the back of the store. There was no door. Next to the dumpster there was instead a triple w marking on the pavement. Harry reached for it. And fell.
The trip wasn’t long and Harry landed on a large red pillow that looked like it had received quite a bit of use. Twin wands pointed at Harry until he smiled with joy and reverted to his actual appearance.
“Fred! George! What’s going on, it’s like the whole world went spare while I was gone!”
The wands dropped and Harry was lifted to his feet.
“Harry mate, the world has gone spare-”
“Completely topsey turvy-”
“Everyone is just dying to appease the new Dark Lord-”
“Dark Prick is more like it.”
“Wait,” Harry interjected, “Who exactly is the dark lord currently? It was a bit hard to keep track.”
The twins shared a pained look. “Well you see,” George started as they walked into the under ground room towards a bright orange table surrounded by blue chairs.
“There was a bit of a power vacuum when You-Know-Who died-”
“Tried to capitalize on it, we did.” They shared a smug look.
“Alas we were beaten out by the Dark Creep-”
“Darn Lucius.”
“First he takes our Mum, and then he takes our life’s ambition-”
“To be the greatest Prank Lords ev-”
“What! Wait a minute, what do you mean Malfoy took your mum?” Harry was shocked that they seemed to brush this off like a minor detail.
“Well, as you know”
“Or don’t know as the case may be”
“Our dad fought a lot with Mr. Malfoy-” Fred casually leaned back in his blindingly blue chair.
“Any chance he got really.” George leaned forward to share an amused look with his twin across the table.
“Turns out they used to be the greatest friends.” The twins stared at Harry as he processed this information, sniggering at the odd expression that came over his face as he tried to imagine the two as chums.
“That’s what we thought!”
“Apparently they had a bit-”
“Of a falling out over a girl.”
“Dad didn’t say which one-”
“But we aren’t idiots you know.”
“We know it was mum.”
“What?” Harry exclaimed. “I thought your families were in some sort of blood feud that had lasted centuries!”
Fred and George turned to each other and burst into laughter. By the time their eyes started tearing up; Harry got the feeling that he must have missed something.
“Ah ha ha, Ron and-”
“That little Malfoy twit-”
“Would make you thing that-”
“But really they just don’t like each other.”
“Little snots take it out on-”
“Absolutely everyone, and we-”
“Just think Malfoy’s a brat.”
Once again, Harry’s worldview was shattered over his head like the first bottle in a bar fight.
“Then, your mom and Mr. Malfoy-? But what about Mrs. Malfoy! And how-? Huh?” Apparently that bottle hit him pretty hard. “You know what? I really don’t want to know.” Harry shook away a few disturbing images and abruptly changed the subject.
“Speaking of: how is Ron doing?” Harry was considerably calmer. All his nervous energy was placed in the shaky stroking of an absent moustache, which he had grown used to but no longer possessed.
The twins sobered at this, “He, well, he had a fight with Hermione.”
“Turns out all the fighting and the nagging weren’t because she liked him.”
“Boy, was he shocked!”
“She wanted to go to a Muggle University-”
“There aren’t any Magical Universities you know-”
“Newts are the highest you can get-”
“ ‘Sides Apprenticeships for advanced jobs.”
“And guess where she got accepted?”
“The American University in Bulgaria”
“What!” Harry spat.
“Yea, apparently she ended up visiting Victor Krum on the sly.”
“She didn’t tell anyone because she thought-”
“And rightly so-”
“That Ronnie-kins would flip his lid.”
Harry interrupted again, “But how can she even be accepted in a university? She didn’t continue her normal studies did she? Oh its Hermione, of course she did!”
“Got it in one, old chap!”
“No wonder the poor thing was so tightly strung.”
“I can’t believe this, she’s in Bulgaria? That’s why she didn’t send me any letters I guess” Harry murmured morosely. “But what’s Ron’s excuse?”
The twins looked exasperated. “He’s at the zoo.”
“Today?” Harry asked, frustrated.
“Er, no.”
“You remember he got in a fight with Hermione.”
“She knows spells like you would never believe”
“Would be right scary if she ever turned to pranking”
“She right scary any way”
“Wish she would work for us”
“Yeah.”
They contemplated this thought for a moment, shivering in delight. Harry didn’t want to know what horrible things they were thinking up, but at the same time, he could appreciate the thought of Hermione backing up the twins shear creativity with her vast knowledge of spells.
Leaning back farther, Harry’s eyebrow moved up.
“The zoo?”
“Aah, well, Hermione is creative.”
“She-”
“Well-”
“Uh haha-”
“Spit it out.” Harry exclaimed.
“She turned him into a baboon.” They said in tandem.
“Said if he wanted a domineering wife he could have one.”
“We got him back to normal-”
“Eventually.”
“But apparently it was so nice at the zoo-”
“They fed him and he didn’t have to think or bathe-”
“That he didn’t want to come back to human civilization-”
“So we turned him back.-”
“But if you ever want to visit him-“
“You can go see the baboon exhibit at the London Zoo.”
“He is the one with the long red nose”
Breathing became an issue as Harry laughed. And laughed and laughed.
“I guess that’s okay then, we can still visit.” He forced out eventually.
“So,” Harry leaned back still farther in his chair. “How is everyone else doing? How is the old Quiddich team?”
“Ah, so glad that you asked!” George exclaimed as Fred stood up.
Fred opened an adjoining door, “Let me introduce you to-”
“Our lovely-”
“Minions,” they finished together as all the girls Harry had ever been on the Quiddich team with walked into the room wearing short magenta robes.”
Harry fell out of his chair.
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