FicWad

They didn't retrieve her body until later that evening, her last smile still set on her pale icy face. She died while I lived; and so the other half to me died with her under the cold water. I felt it when I woke up, the air I breathed didn't seem to content me. I was broken and not even death could heal the wounds.

"You're hair's just untameable!" Mom mumbled, yanking a comb through my tangled hair. I stood staring out the window at the rain falling outside; what a lovely day for afuneral. Mikey stood at the bottom of the stairs watching me motionlessly; he'd taken to being my... well babysitter in a way, afraid if he left me alone long enough I'd try join her. "Are you okay?" Mom wiped an un-noticed tear from my cheek. I tried to smile; only half my mouth pulling up. "Yeah".
We huddled in Dad's car following the procession.
She was so beautiful when I saw her. She wore a black ankle length dress, a thick red ribbon around her waist. Ballerina shoes with the ribbons twining around her legs like ivy. Ididn't cry. Crying wouldn't bring her back, wouldn't get rid off the empty feeling inside. We all sat down, the silence broken only by the sobs of her Mom.
After her Dad stepped down from the podium, it was my turn to speak, to share what I'd miss, what she was like.
I stood where I was, I couldn't stand up there; next to her. "She's gone" I whispered through gritted teeth jumping into the aisle and running for the doors, silent tears streaming down my cheeks.
She'd left me here alone, she didn't care; she never did. I'd seen it in her eyes, she felt nothing for me; I was merely a convenience, a pet at most.
The cold air stung my flesh as I stood immobilised. Cars raced up and down the busy streets in aconstant stream. For a second I wanted to run into their midst and be left bleeding on the road; but why should I do that? I meant nothing to her, so Iwouldn't end my life for her. I wandered down the street and through the park kicking at the leaves that had replaced the early snow, finally, some hint of normality.
I walked for a while, the sky darkening as I sat beneath a tree, its branches bare and dead.
How'd this happen? We hadn't been 'together' long, a few months was all. And yet I tried to kill myself for her. The way the world works is confusing. The way my heart's still broken, half empty is unfair. It's hard to understand how I got so close to someone who never opened up and show me the real her.
Life's a real bitch.
I wiped away blinding tears and looked up to the sound of shuffling leaves.
A shadowed figure stood over me looking down a worried expression stretched across their face.
"Are you okay?"