FicWad

Stacey's POV
School continued as normal for a week and, despite now being best mates with Shan as well as Emma, I hadn't spoken to Jared once; until the next Monday. I bumped into him in the corridor. He looked like the walking dead. He was ghost white but his eyes were bluer than ever.
"Are you OK?" I asked, with a tone of apology in my voice.
He simply nodded and walked past me.

After school that day Shannon invited me and Emma back to his.
"Don't worry Jared won't be there," he said as he saw the look on my face.
"Why not?" I asked out of genuine curiosity.
"He only comes home to sleep," said Shannon.
"Not even to eat?" I asked, shocked.
"Nope. Are you coming?"
"Yeah, sure."
When we got there Shannon went to get us both a drink, so I snuck upstairs to Jared's room.
It was different than I thought it would be. Everything was black or red. The walls were red and the ceiling black. All the cupboards and units were black as was the carpet. I walked over to his red and black clad bed. I should have kissed back. I would so much rather have seen this room for the first time with him. Then I noticed the corner of a book poking out from under his pillow. I pulled it out. It was Jared's diary. I flicked through from the back and came to a page with a blood stain on the side. I started to read it.
'I met up with Lily again today. She's so pretty and sweet and really looks up to me. It seems a shame to end it. Tomorrow I'm going to bring up the subject, see how far she wants to go with me, if she refuses... I rape her next morning. It really is a shame because she's the nicest girl I've ever dated.
Oh, and sorry about the blood stain (although I don't know who I'm apologising to!) but there will probably be more to come.'
I sat for a while re-reading the last part not quite believing my eyes, then Shannon called up from downstairs to make sure I was ok. I must have been up there for a while.

Over the next week I kept an eye out for Jared at school but never saw him. Then Shannon invited me and Emma round his house again. When Shan's mum, Constance, got home and saw the three of us sat in the living room she looked really worried.
"Was Jared in school today?" she asked before even saying hello.
"No," said Shannon.
"Where is he then?" she asked.
"I don't know," said Shannon as if he didn't care.
"What's happened?" I asked.
"Jared's disappeared," said Shan. "He's not at school and he's not coming home."
Barely thinking about what I was going to do, I stood and ran straight upstairs to Jared's room. Sitting on his bed, I reached under his pillow and pulled out his diary. I flicked through until I found his last entry. It was only yesterday.
'No-one cares any more. No-one at school talks to me. Mum and Shannon aren't making any effort to get me home. When I thought I'd finally found someone who cares she walked away. I actually cared about her. For the first time in my life I had true feelings for a girl. My stupid 'addiction' ruined my life. I'm never going to get a girl now because, either, they'll know about my past or I'll be too hung up on Stacey to notice anyone else.
So, if anyone finds this: goodbye
If Stacey finds this: don't blame yourself. I love you too much to imagine you living with the guilt; that is if you actually care.'
I sat on the bed blinking away tears but one escaped and fell on to the diary to accompany the blood stains. Then I decided to go out and look for him, maybe there was a chance I could find him, save him.
I went straight back down stairs, hoping it wasn't obvious I had been crying; I didn't want to worry Constance any more.
"Where could Jared be?" I asked urgently.
"What? Why..." started Constance.
"Is there anywhere he could have gone?" I asked again.
"You know the old park down the back?" said Shan and I nodded. "Well, me, J and our dad used to go down there together. Sometimes Jared goes there to think."
Without answering I grabbed my jacket and left. It was getting dark. I walked quickly through the streets, which were already lit with the orange glow of street lights. I was thankful that L.A. nights weren't too cold, but I was still shivering. In the back of my mind was the thought that maybe I was too late, maybe Jared wouldn't be there and, if he was, what state would I find him in? I thought about the diary. Of course I cared; I just never thought he cared about me.
Just then I rounded the corner into the park. It was dark. There were no street lights here to illuminate it. I scanned the park and noticed a figure huddled up on the floor leaning against the frame of the swings. I walked towards it.
"Jared," I said. He jumped slightly and turned his face up towards mine. In the small amount of light shed by the moon I could see tears running down his pale face. Then he lowered his head to look at his hands which were lying in his lap. I followed his gaze. His wrists were now almost completely red, stained with blood. In his left hand he held a small blade also stained red. The state of his wrists made me rather light-headed. Then he moved his left hand, and the blade, towards his right wrist and looked up at me as he built up the courage to press down.
"Jared, no," I shook my head at him.
"I want to..." he said choking back more tears, "I want to die,~" he finished.
All I could do was shake my head as he pulled the blade lowly across his wrist. I flinched as he did it.
"No, Jared, stop," I said weakly. I could feel my eyes burn as the tears built up. I took hold of his left hand and tried to take the blade but he wouldn't loosen his grip.
"Jared, please, let go," I pleaded. "Jared, I love you," I said a few tears now running down my face too. "Please, for me, let go."
He finally relaxed his hold on the blade and I took it from him. As I pulled it away, Jared curled up in a ball and sobbed into his knees.

A/N: This chapter was going to be longer but I thought I'd leave you with a cliff hanger!! The next and final chapter should be up in the next few days!! Please R&R guys! Thanks, Jen xx