Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Alone In This Bed, House and Head - Ryan Ross

What Was It That Pushed Her Over The Edge?

by greengrapefruit 1 review

Brendon lets out some anger at band practice.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Published: 2010-08-18 - Updated: 2010-08-18 - 1113 words

-Introduction to Ryan-
Ryan's point of view

I've always known that my family, and my life, wasn't the typical definition of normal. It wasn't anything close. I've always noticed the fighting, the drinking and the cheating. I knew my house was below average and we still couldn't afford it.

When my mom left, I was scared. Not only did she leave my father, she also left me. She just left. I was 11, and all I was told was that "Things had changed." I understood that things actually hadn't changed between my parents, they've always hated each other. For as long as I can remember, at least. For years I lived in this hallucination that my mother would come back, put me in the car and we'd leave together. That ended when she called, told me she loved me, and said goodbye.

I never called her, but she called me every year, usually around the time of my birthday. Last year she called, "There's something I should have told you years ago." Then, in a calm, cool, who-gives-a-crap manner, she told me she remarried a few months after she left, and that I have two half brothers. She wants me to come visit. I told her that maybe when I figure why my mother hid an entire family from me then I'll visit.

My father drinks, a little more than he should. Most days he comes home from work wasted. The rare day he doesn't come home drunk from work are the days he didn't bother getting up and going to work. I usually have a bottle or four to clean up every morning. I pour the remains down the sink, cursing at the substance.

I have a best friend, Spencer Smith. I've known him since I was six, but I don't talk about any of this stuff in front of him. He has a normal life with a normal family, he just wouldn't understand. Thank god for Anna.

Anna's been there... she is there. She knows what I've gone through and she knows exactly what to tell me when I'm upset, or mad. She moved in next door when I was 8, she was 7. My parents forced me to hangout with her... it's they best thing they ever did for me. We've spent a lot of time together in 10 years and I'd never considered her anything more than a friend, until recently. Sometimes I catch myself smiling like a fool when I'm just sitting beside her, or I come a little to close to kissing her lips when I kiss her cheek.

Too bad I'll never get to have her. Once a girls dated your best friend, you just don't go there.

"Hey, head's up!" I hurried through the garage door of Spencer's grandmother's house, "There's probably not going to be a practice today."

Brent, who was sitting at Spencer's drunk kit, stood up with drum sticks still in hand and said, "What!"

Spencer took a seat on the beat up old couch against the far wall, I took a seat beside him, "Yeah, Anna broke up with Brendon. She said he's pissed."

"I canceled plans to be here today!" Brent complained, sitting back down.

"Thank god she finally did it." Spencer nodded a little, "What finally pushed her over the edge?"


"Brendon what?" Brendon entered the garage and was instantly glaring at me.

"Nothing, we were just wondering when you were going to get here." I covered myself up.

"Ryan, do me a favor and leave what's going on between me and my girlfriend, between me and my girlfriend." He snapped.

"Woah, Brendon. She's the one who told me-"

"Of course she was! You've only heard her side of the story, so until you've got all the facts, keep your mouth shut." He was more pissed off than I thought he would be.

"So what's your side?" Spencer asked.

"That's none of your business."

Spencer started to look a little offended, "She's one of my best friends, and she's Ryan's best friend... I think it is our business."

"Well it's not! okay?"

"Brendon, we're-"

"Shut up, Ry. I'm getting really sick of you." He spat, "My girlfriend's more in love with you than she is me. Not only do I feel like I'm dating her, it's like you come along with the package! She tells you everything, some days she doesn't even talk to me!"

"Sorry, Brendon." I apologized, "But that's the type of relationship we have."

"I have a relationship with her! Not you." He yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

"You don't have a relationship anymore." Spencer mumbled. Brendon glared at him. "Hey, all I'm saying is that clearly you two were better off as friends, everyone can see that but you."

"How can everyone see it when it's not true? We were great together-"

"She broke up with you because she was sick of trying to be pressured in to sex, by a guy she didn't even want to be dating anymore!" I said loudly, standing up off the couch, "If you can't see that she didn't want to be with you, than you've got something wrong in that head of yours!"

Brendon held his hand up in front of my face for a moment, my heart was pounding, but I wasn't scared of him. He took his hand down and said, "I don't need to sit here and take this."

As he left the garage, Brent, who was sitting quietly this whole time, stood up. "If there's no band practice, than I'm out of here."

We waited until Brent was out of the garage, and until we heard the door of Brendon's car close to speak.

"I love Brendon, but sometimes he can just be so oblivious." Spencer sighed. He got up and went over to his drunk kit to make sure Brent didn't damage anything.

I fell back on to the couch, grabbed my phone from my pocket and called Anna.

"Hello, beautiful!" She greeted after I waited for the phone to ring a few times. Just her voice could make me smile.

"Hey An." I smiled, "Brendon just stormed out of band practice, wanna come swimming at Spencer's?" I looked over at Spencer who was nodding approvingly.

"Yeah, that sounds great. Why don't you pick me up on your way there?" I could hear her rummaging through her closet on the other end.

"Perfect. See you soon." I hung up.

"That sounds great, An. I'll see you soon, An. I love you, An." Spencer mocked jokingly.

"Shut up, man." I smiled at his joke, and tossed a pillow from the couch towards the drum set.
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