FicWad

By the time that Robin's SUV had pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex, Patrick and Josh had changed tactics. Instead of using cheesy pickup lines, they were serenading their two new roommates.

"Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down, any place but those I know by heart, anywhere you go, I'll follow you down, I'll follow you down but not that far!"

Tina risked a glance over at her best friend, who had rested her head on the wheel at this point, almost dying in laughter.

"At least it's good music, right?" she giggled.

"True."

"I KNEW IT! All we really need are our guitars and a harmonica to charm them," Josh grinned.

"Dude, all I have to do in order to charm a beautiful girl is take off my clothes—in fact, let's get out of these clothes, it's pretty stuffy in this SUV," Patrick retorted, undoing the button on his jeans.

"OKAY, I'd rather not see your junk all over the custom interior of my new car. Keep your pants ON until we get into the apartment, and even then, keep them on until you get into the bedroom."

"I wouldn't count on that, babe. Patrick here is a bit of an exhibitionist, he loves to be in the nude. Loves it," Josh smirked.

"I love it so much that I sleep in the nude—I hope that's okay, Tina."

Rather than reply, Tina choked on the soda that she'd picked up at the service station on the way home; thinking quickly, she sprayed it out the window rather than all over the seats, before bailing out of the car completely. Turning around in her seat, Robin shook a fist at Patrick.

"You'd better be thankful she didn't do that on my seats, or I'd make sure you didn't HAVE junk to show off!"

"If it makes you feel any better, I sleep in boxers," Josh stated.

"Black silk ones, all cool and smooth against the skin—you should really feel of them," Patrick added.

"Oh, is that so? I guess you'd know from experience?"

The redhead was chuckling silently as she began to carry groceries up to the apartment; both Josh and Patrick had sputtered indignantly at her remark, immediately putting as much distance between themselves as possible. In fact, just behind her she could hear Patrick mumbling about how he most certainly did not know from experience. Josh however had sprinted ahead, and was walking backwards, trying to convince her.

"He really doesn't know that firsthand, he's never touched my boxers—and I've never wanted him to—I mean, yeah, we like to joke that we're life mates, but not that kind!"

"Relax, Harter, I was joking. Go get some groceries, and earn your keep, would ya?"

Following Josh's lead, Patrick and ran ahead to speak with Tina. Both Robin and Josh burst out in a belly laugh as they heard her screaming at him.

"YOU'D BETTER KEEP THE TROUSER SNAKE PUT AWAY WHILE YOU'RE LIVING HERE OR I WILL KILL IT!"

"…She'll come around eventually. She wants me, I can feel it," he smirked, as both of his other companions rolled their eyes.

"Believe it or not, she really does want him, she's just not going to admit it right now. Doesn't believe in mixing business and pleasure. Maybe after we figure out who is trying to kill you, and y'know, put 'em behind bars, she'll change her tune," Robin hissed.

"And what about you? Do you have a problem mixing business and pleasure?"

Josh smirked, biting back a chuckle as Robin threw her head back, laughing out loud.

"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"

They both doubled over in laughter as they heard Patrick crash and burn once again in the living room.

"Let's face it, I'm hot, you're hot, and we both know you have a crush on me. And, really, who could blame you with a gorgeous face like this? Anyway, can I snatch a kiss or vice versa?"

Possibly the wittiest line of the day was greeted with a face full of caffeine free Mountain Dew.

"Mmm…tasty…care to help me clean off my face, with your tongue?"

Josh planted his face firmly in the palm of his hand, moaning as though he were in pain. Robin fell backwards into the floor, cackling like a demon. Tina's face turned a very pretty shade of red, before she finally did what she'd been resisting the urge to do all day—she snatched the front of Patrick's shirt, yanked him forward, and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.

"There now, you can kindly stop using those horrible pickup lines!" she snapped.

Robin was still chuckling quietly as she headed back down to the parking lot to grab the last load of groceries. Josh slapped Patrick on the back in encouragement.

"Dude, I never thought I'd say this, but I think your method of wooing is actually working for ya!"

~*~

In the wee hours of the morning, Robin was awakened by a scuffling noise outside the front door of their apartment. She attempted to shoot up in bed as she normally would, but found herself prevented from doing so by some rather large arms, and instead gathered closer to a hard chest and toned abs. A scruffy cheek nuzzled her forehead as said arms squeezed tighter around her, and a masculine voice mumbled softly in its sleep about it not being time to get up yet.

With a growl and a hard kick to his shin, the redhead managed to disentangle herself from her new roommate.

"Damn it, Josh, let go!" she hissed, dragging open the drawer on her nightstand long enough to snatch her personal weapon—a 9mm Beretta.

"What's going on?"

"Somebody's fuckin' around the front door, that's what—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Josh was heading for the bedroom door.

"Stay here—" he started, but was quickly cut off.

"No, you stay here—have you forgotten who is guarding whom? I'm the one with the badge and the weapon here, bub," she retorted.

She tiptoed out of the bedroom and bumped into Tina who immediately aimed her own personal weapon at her roommate.

"Jesus Christ, Jameson, would you point that damn thing the other way?"

Tina sighed audibly in relief, lowering her pistol.

"Sorry, I'm a bit jumpy—you thinking what I'm thinking, Leigh?"

"I'm thinking we kick the damn door down on three."

"We can't do that! Remember the landlord telling us about that kind of shenanigans?"

"Alright, you open and I shoot on three."

"Robin, you could kill someone!"

"For all I know someone's here to kill us!"

"DON'T SHOOT! IT'S JUST ME, JENSEN!"

Tina rolled her eyes, and wrenched open the door to face her ex-fiancé, Jensen Ackles.

To make a long story short, Jensen and Tina had met in a bar during the first week of filming that he did on the set of One Tree Hill. It had been a whirlwind romance, quickly followed by an engagement. The problem was, he'd decided he was more into one of his co-stars, and had found it impossible to be faithful.

"Why, I do declare! If it ain't the lying bastard who can't keep his pecker put in his pants!"

"Blanche Devereaux, how nice to see you again," Jensen deadpanned, attempting to sidestep his ex-fiancee's roommate.

"Don't you have a redheaded tramp back in Wilmington that you need to be canoodling with?"

"You're one to talk."

"Yes, but the difference is mine is natural," Robin retorted, smirking widely.

"Teej, babe, what's going on?"

Robin stifled her laughter into a hacking cough, turning away abruptly, as she caught sight of a completely nude Patrick strolling into the room. He sauntered over to where Tina stood, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck, before glancing up at the Supernatural actor, who seemed to be in a state of disgusted shock.

"Who are you, and why are you showing up at my girlfriend's apartment at…2 am?"

"Apparently making a complete ass of myself," Jensen retorted.

"As usual. Like I was saying, don't you have some redheaded tart back in Wilmington that you need to be canoodling with?"

"You know, I never did like you."

Jensen glared at the offending redhead as he was marched back towards the front door of the apartment.

"Really? Oh, I am so heartbroken. Here's a bombshell just for you, turns out the feeling's mutual. Now, if you'll kindly vacate my apartment, I'd really appreciate it,"

"Hey, this is her apartment too!"

"Yes, but her boyfriend is very happy to see her, judging by his state of undress, and I have a man back in my room wearing nothing but a pair of black silk boxers, and he's been begging me to stroke them all day. Good day."

"But—"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!"

And with that, Jensen was tossed out the door unceremoniously, and said door was slammed in his face.

"Teej, don't forget, we have to be at the office tomorrow morning to be debriefed about how we're supposed to act while we're traveling. And Patrick, for the love of God and my eyesight, would you please put on some boxers before you pull another stunt like that?"