Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Under Jersey Skies
Gerard’s POV
“GERARD!” Donald yelled as I closed the front door.
I gave Mikey a warning glare, and he nodded and ran upstairs, understanding what I meant. I breathed in heavily, preparing myself for what awaited me just a few moment’s from now.
Donald stumbled into the hallway, his hair was a mess and there was a stain on his shirt that looked a lot like BBQ sauce. The fat pig had been stuffing his face again. As he came closer I could see his eyes were bloodshot and he stank of cigarettes and beer.
“Your Science teacher called again today” he said in a low growl.
“What’ve I done now?” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t start boy!” Donald snapped.
“I’ve been working more in class lately!” I pleaded, and what I said was true.
“WORKING? FUCKING BULLSHIT GERARD! YOUR TEACHER CALLED ME TODAY AND TOLD ME YOU WASTED YOUR LESSON TODAY DRAWING!” he roared.
“I…” I began, but gave up.
What he’d said was true, I had wasted my lesson today drawing. I’d had a lot on my mind and I didn’t feel up to working.
“Yes?” Donald mused, an evil grin formed on his face, he knew he had the advantage here.
“Nothing” I muttered.
“OH SO I AM RIGHT?! YOU’RE PATHETIC GERARD! I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHER PAYING FOR YOU TO GO TO SCHOOL!” he roared, walking forward and pushing me into the wall.
“HOW WOULD YOUR MOTHER FEEL IF SHE KNEW?” he continued, grabbing me by the scruff of the neck.
“Like you can talk, you beat me all the time and I don’t tell her a word, because she loves you. But still you drink and smoke and eat like a pig, and you call me pathetic? Take a look at yourself Donald” I said darkly, and spat in his face.
He let go of me, wiping his face from where my spit had hit him, and looked up at me through angry eyes. Shit. Not a good idea, I had only angered him more.
“How dare you” he growled.
“HOW DARE YOU!” he repeated, roaring this time.
He lunged at me, throwing me to the floor. He kicked my sides repeatedly, and I yelped in pain each time. He dropped to his knees beside me, and began punching me across the face, again and again. I coughed violently, and I could taste the metallic flavour of blood in my mouth.
“Dad, stop, you’re gonna fucking kill me!” I whimpered, and I could feel myself slipping from conciseness.
He stopped, and I saw a hint of regret in his eyes, but it quickly faded back to anger as he got to his feet.
“You got lucky this time kid” he growled, before leaving the room.
Mikey cautiously climbed down the stairs towards me. He helped me to my feet and held me up by slinging one of my arms over his shoulders. We slowly climbed the stairs, and Mikey took me to my room.
“You wanna talk about it?” Mikey asked, coming to sit beside me after he helped me onto my bed.
“No” I sighed, closing my eyes.
“Gerard, we’ve gotta talk about this, it’s getting out of hand, Dad could’ve killed you back there” he pushed on.
“I don’t wanna talk about it” I said sternly.
“Gerard” Mikey pleaded.
“Leave it Mikey” I growled through gritted teeth.
I rolled over onto my side, not wanting to talk anymore.
“Fine” Mikey scowled, getting up off my bed and walking towards my bedroom door.
“Wallow in your own self misery” he added darkly, and shut my door behind him as he left.
I rolled back over onto my back and sighed, glad to have some peace. Life had been so fucked up lately. First I had lost Jess, my girlfriend of 3 years, who I had loved more than anyone else in the world, who I’d have done anything for, who I’d have died for. And then Jackie, the one person who could make me happy after Jess and I broke up, had started going out with Frank. I’d been fighting it for ages, but it was undeniable now, Jackie had picked me up when I was weak, offered me a shoulder to cry on, had listened when I needed someone to talk to, and I had inevitably fallen in love with her.
But now she was with Frank, my best friend, and it was killing me. I didn’t know how much longer I could just sit by and watch while they kissed, while they laughed and talked, while Frank held Jackie in his arms. I blinked furiously, fighting back the tears in the corners of my eyes.
You’re so pathetic, pull yourself together Gerard.
Then there was Dad, ever since mine and Mikey’s grandma had died, he had been a mess. As soon as she had been buried Dad had become seriously depressed. He’d started drinking, more than he normally would have, he’d started smoking, which he never did prior to her death. But worst of all, the excessive amounts of alcohol had made him become abusive, and he’d started beating me.
I winced, thinking about Dad beating me had reminded me of how much pain I was in. Every muscle and bone in my body was aching and a little place under my right eye was throbbing slightly. I guessed Dad had given me a black eye. Just great, I still had to go to school like this, and how the hell was I supposed to hide it from Mum?
I let out a huff of frustration, it was all just building up. Last year, I had been the happiest guy in the world, but this year had been nothing but hell for me. Oh how time changed everything, it was fucked up, what did I do to deserve this?
A few beads of water trailed down my face and I realized I was crying. I pushed myself up off my bed and walked into my bathroom. I opened the cabinet door that was the bathroom mirror and sifted through the back of the cabinet. There, pushed far into the back corner, was an old blade that I had hidden long ago when Mikey had been depressed, fearing for his safety.
Right now, the small silver object seemed dangerously friendly, and I reached for it. I quickly walked over and locked the door before sitting down on the cold tiled floor. I brought the blade to my wrist and pressed down, it hurt a little, and I quickly pulled it away.
Don’t be stupid.
I got up quickly and wrenched the cabinet open again, I threw the blade to the back and slammed it closed again. Stupid idea, stupid, stupid idea. I was already hurting enough, cutting would only make it worse. I walked over to my bathroom door and unlocked it, but paused for a minute to gather my thoughts. I breathed in deeply and rested my head against my arm, which was against the door.
Keep it together Gerard, you’re stronger than this, you know you’re stronger than this.
I opened the door and walked back into my room, flopping myself down onto my bed. I rolled over to see that my Batman alarm clock read 5:30. It might have been early, but I let myself drift into a deep sleep, it was the best way I could forget about it all for a few hours and let my worries just fade away…
“GERARD!” Donald yelled as I closed the front door.
I gave Mikey a warning glare, and he nodded and ran upstairs, understanding what I meant. I breathed in heavily, preparing myself for what awaited me just a few moment’s from now.
Donald stumbled into the hallway, his hair was a mess and there was a stain on his shirt that looked a lot like BBQ sauce. The fat pig had been stuffing his face again. As he came closer I could see his eyes were bloodshot and he stank of cigarettes and beer.
“Your Science teacher called again today” he said in a low growl.
“What’ve I done now?” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t start boy!” Donald snapped.
“I’ve been working more in class lately!” I pleaded, and what I said was true.
“WORKING? FUCKING BULLSHIT GERARD! YOUR TEACHER CALLED ME TODAY AND TOLD ME YOU WASTED YOUR LESSON TODAY DRAWING!” he roared.
“I…” I began, but gave up.
What he’d said was true, I had wasted my lesson today drawing. I’d had a lot on my mind and I didn’t feel up to working.
“Yes?” Donald mused, an evil grin formed on his face, he knew he had the advantage here.
“Nothing” I muttered.
“OH SO I AM RIGHT?! YOU’RE PATHETIC GERARD! I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHER PAYING FOR YOU TO GO TO SCHOOL!” he roared, walking forward and pushing me into the wall.
“HOW WOULD YOUR MOTHER FEEL IF SHE KNEW?” he continued, grabbing me by the scruff of the neck.
“Like you can talk, you beat me all the time and I don’t tell her a word, because she loves you. But still you drink and smoke and eat like a pig, and you call me pathetic? Take a look at yourself Donald” I said darkly, and spat in his face.
He let go of me, wiping his face from where my spit had hit him, and looked up at me through angry eyes. Shit. Not a good idea, I had only angered him more.
“How dare you” he growled.
“HOW DARE YOU!” he repeated, roaring this time.
He lunged at me, throwing me to the floor. He kicked my sides repeatedly, and I yelped in pain each time. He dropped to his knees beside me, and began punching me across the face, again and again. I coughed violently, and I could taste the metallic flavour of blood in my mouth.
“Dad, stop, you’re gonna fucking kill me!” I whimpered, and I could feel myself slipping from conciseness.
He stopped, and I saw a hint of regret in his eyes, but it quickly faded back to anger as he got to his feet.
“You got lucky this time kid” he growled, before leaving the room.
Mikey cautiously climbed down the stairs towards me. He helped me to my feet and held me up by slinging one of my arms over his shoulders. We slowly climbed the stairs, and Mikey took me to my room.
“You wanna talk about it?” Mikey asked, coming to sit beside me after he helped me onto my bed.
“No” I sighed, closing my eyes.
“Gerard, we’ve gotta talk about this, it’s getting out of hand, Dad could’ve killed you back there” he pushed on.
“I don’t wanna talk about it” I said sternly.
“Gerard” Mikey pleaded.
“Leave it Mikey” I growled through gritted teeth.
I rolled over onto my side, not wanting to talk anymore.
“Fine” Mikey scowled, getting up off my bed and walking towards my bedroom door.
“Wallow in your own self misery” he added darkly, and shut my door behind him as he left.
I rolled back over onto my back and sighed, glad to have some peace. Life had been so fucked up lately. First I had lost Jess, my girlfriend of 3 years, who I had loved more than anyone else in the world, who I’d have done anything for, who I’d have died for. And then Jackie, the one person who could make me happy after Jess and I broke up, had started going out with Frank. I’d been fighting it for ages, but it was undeniable now, Jackie had picked me up when I was weak, offered me a shoulder to cry on, had listened when I needed someone to talk to, and I had inevitably fallen in love with her.
But now she was with Frank, my best friend, and it was killing me. I didn’t know how much longer I could just sit by and watch while they kissed, while they laughed and talked, while Frank held Jackie in his arms. I blinked furiously, fighting back the tears in the corners of my eyes.
You’re so pathetic, pull yourself together Gerard.
Then there was Dad, ever since mine and Mikey’s grandma had died, he had been a mess. As soon as she had been buried Dad had become seriously depressed. He’d started drinking, more than he normally would have, he’d started smoking, which he never did prior to her death. But worst of all, the excessive amounts of alcohol had made him become abusive, and he’d started beating me.
I winced, thinking about Dad beating me had reminded me of how much pain I was in. Every muscle and bone in my body was aching and a little place under my right eye was throbbing slightly. I guessed Dad had given me a black eye. Just great, I still had to go to school like this, and how the hell was I supposed to hide it from Mum?
I let out a huff of frustration, it was all just building up. Last year, I had been the happiest guy in the world, but this year had been nothing but hell for me. Oh how time changed everything, it was fucked up, what did I do to deserve this?
A few beads of water trailed down my face and I realized I was crying. I pushed myself up off my bed and walked into my bathroom. I opened the cabinet door that was the bathroom mirror and sifted through the back of the cabinet. There, pushed far into the back corner, was an old blade that I had hidden long ago when Mikey had been depressed, fearing for his safety.
Right now, the small silver object seemed dangerously friendly, and I reached for it. I quickly walked over and locked the door before sitting down on the cold tiled floor. I brought the blade to my wrist and pressed down, it hurt a little, and I quickly pulled it away.
Don’t be stupid.
I got up quickly and wrenched the cabinet open again, I threw the blade to the back and slammed it closed again. Stupid idea, stupid, stupid idea. I was already hurting enough, cutting would only make it worse. I walked over to my bathroom door and unlocked it, but paused for a minute to gather my thoughts. I breathed in deeply and rested my head against my arm, which was against the door.
Keep it together Gerard, you’re stronger than this, you know you’re stronger than this.
I opened the door and walked back into my room, flopping myself down onto my bed. I rolled over to see that my Batman alarm clock read 5:30. It might have been early, but I let myself drift into a deep sleep, it was the best way I could forget about it all for a few hours and let my worries just fade away…
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