FicWad

30.08.10.
21.37, TL.

So here I am, back. Here. I can't even begin to say where I've been. Living life. Loving life. Being happy. But I've been feeling the last few days that I'm about to crash, and I finally have. I threw up about a week or so ago, and I keep nearly throwing up and I'm thinking it's because of the state of my mind.

I started back to school today and it was horrible. I'm completely taken out of my comfort zone. All the classes got mixed. And I'll not go in to explaining it all again. It was just horrible. I'm listening to sad songs when I know I shouldn't be. And I want to cut. I do. But I haven't. And hopefully I won't. This weekend I'm going away with this (I guess you could call it a club)I go to. Hopefully that will be fun.
I'm just terrified about going to school.

I shouldn't be feeling this at the age of nearly 14. But I am feeling it and I guess it just brought back all the memories of when I did feel that. I'm hoping everything will work out okay.

I've had the feeling many times before, the feeling that my life is coming to an end and soon. I feel like that now, but then again, I felt like that a month or two ago. And the things that are keeping me from doing it myself are my friends, and my curiousity. Of what will happen tomorrow. What I'll do in the next few months, years. What I'll miss out on. What I haven't created or did.

I sound strange, don't I? I don't sound like my usual self. I sound...office like nearly. There's alot of events I have left out, but eh.

My goals for this month;
1) Move class
2) Don't cut
3) Stay alive