FicWad

I couldn’t concentrate on my work. English was ending in five minutes and the end of the lesson brought with it the end of the school day. I didn’t want to go home, going home meant I had to face my mother, and I sure as hell didn’t want to speak to her, I’d made that pretty clear last night. That’s when a brilliant idea struck me; something that would help me avoid my mother for a few more hours.

The school bell rang and I left the room, stopping beside the door to the next classroom, where Mikey had Math. I waited as the students filed out, until I saw Mikey, and followed him down the hall. When I got close enough, I grabbed his arm.

“What the? Oh, hey Jackie.” he smiled.
“Hey, Mikey.”
“What’s up?”
“I was wondering, could I maybe hang at yours this afternoon?”
“Yeah sure, but why?”
I bit my lip, and lied. Well. Not entirely, part of what I was going to say was true. “I wanna see Gerard, it’s been awhile and I wanna make sure he’s okay.”
“Might do him some good, he hasn’t left his room since...”
“Yeah” I nodded, understanding what he meant.

Gerard would be devastated, Jessica had meant a lot to him. That added with the fact that I could already sense something was wrong even before her death, worried me. What state would he be in when I saw him? I tried not to think about it, trying to just picture the happy, cheerful Gerard I knew and loved.

“Hey dude!” Joey held his fist out to Mikey as we approached him.
“Sup, dude?” Mikey replied, punching it with his own.
“You still cool with me chillin’ at yours tonight?” Joey asked.
“Yeah man, oh, so you know, Jackie’s coming with.”
“To see Gerard?” Joey asked me, with a wink that I don’t think Mikey saw.
“Yeah. . . That was the idea.” I replied, giving him a puzzled look.
“Then I guess we’re all walkin’ home together.”

The walk home was quiet. For me, anyway. I let Joey and Mikey walk ahead while I trailed behind. They were so happy and hyperactive, talking about their comic books, video games, and having fake light saber fights using their rolled up schoolbooks. I wish I could be that happy, but ever since Jess had died and my mother had come back, I had just been completely down all the time. As it was, I was going to the Way’s house just to avoid going home.

“Welcome to my humble home.” Mikey chuckled as he unlocked the door.

I walked into the main room, and looked around. I could see a man asleep on the couch in what I guessed was their lounge room; he was rather large and was that Barbeque sauce on his shirt? Mikey quickly ran over and shut the door. I looked at him with a puzzled expression, but he simply just grinned.

“Joey.” he spoke. “You go on upstairs and set up the Xbox, I’ll be with you in a minute, just gotta have a quick word to Jackie.”

Joey nodded and began climbing the staircase. When he was out of earshot, Mikey turned to me.

“Good luck with Gerard, he hardly lets anybody into his room anymore, but if you can get in, please try and get through to him, he’s been a mess since Jess died.”

I nodded, and we both ascended the stairs. On the second floor, Mikey pointed me in the direction of Gerard’s bedroom, and then parted ways with me, heading for his own room. As I continued down the hallway, I could hear a guitar being played; the tune was soft, yet beautiful. I could faintly hear singing, though it was too quiet to make out the words. Every few seconds, the music would stop and I’d hear a grunt, before it began again. I reached the door to Gerard’s room, and knocked.

“Whoever it is, fuck off, I’m busy!”

I knocked again.

“I said, FUCK OFF!” he shouted.
“Gee, it’s Jackie.”

I heard footsteps and then the door opened.

“Thanks for stopping by.” Gerard’s weary face smiled weakly at me.

He looked pale, more than usual, and slightly yellow. His long jet black hair was messy and greasy all over, and his eyes were red and swollen, as if he’d been crying quite a lot. It broke my heart to see him like this, my friend, my good friend; Hurting.

He walked back into the room and I followed, closing the door behind me. It was a mess, his bed was unmade, there was a faint smell of food going bad, and his clothes from Friday night still sat crumpled up in a pile in the corner of his room. There was paper all over the floor; some had writing on them, others with drawings.

As Gerard packed up his guitar, I bend down to pick up a piece of paper at his feet. He tried to snatch it before I could read it, but I pulled my hand away. He bit his lip nervously, staring at the piece of paper in my hands. I gave him a puzzled expression, before reading it. They were song lyrics.

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...
Ever...

Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies…

I gasped and my hand flew to my heart. It was about Jessica. Incredibly heartbreaking and sad, yet beautiful. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I realized just how much Gerard had loved her, and exactly just how much he was hurting. I felt a tear roll down my face, and quickly wiped it away. Dropping the lyrics to the floor, I launched myself at Gerard.

I held him tightly, thinking that metaphorically, I could keep him from falling apart. He tightened his hold on me; I’d never realized just how strong he was. I felt comfortable, protected even. Though it might sound a little mean to say, hugging Gerard was better than hugging Frank. I felt his body shudder, and realized he was crying, which made the tears I had tried to hold back flow freely.

“I’m so sorry Gerard.”
He tightened his hold on me just that little bit more. “I just can’t believe she’s gone.” he whimpered…