FicWad

Part Twenty-Five

I was expecting the worst, walking out of that bunk room. Especially when it was only Patrick and I in there. And I happened to scream out his name, which I KNEW everyone had heard. And I was right by preparing for the worst. Patrick slowly opened the door and I followed behind him and, just as I had expected, applause broke out in the bus. I felt my face go red, and Patrick's did too. Exasperated, he looked at them all and asked, "Really, guys? Do you have to do that?"
Joe thought for a second and nodded. "Yeah, I think so. It might be in a contract somewhere."
"Well...like...could you NOT do that, then?"
"I don't think that's possible. Not for this circumstance." Pete said, walking around to put his arm on Patrick's shoulder. "Especially with the way she screamed your name, Trick. VERY impressive." 
Even Farrah joined in on the laughter. "Well, I know Kel doesn't just scream about anything so that must've been DAMN good."
As she said that, I started giggling along with everyone else, Patrick's face getting even redder. I wrapped my arms around him and looked him in the eyes. "Come on, babe. It's a compliment. Just in a....very....rude way of saying it. It could be worse. They could be saying, 'Hey, good job banging your wife.'" I said, imitating a guy's voice. His face broke into a smile as he heard it, and he loosened up a bit.
Andy snapped his fingers. "Damnit, I knew there was one we forgot. Here, I'll just say it now. Good job banging your wife!" Everybody burst into laughter again and things started to relax as we both sat down to join everyone.
Patrick turned to Farrah, knowing she was the reliable source in the bus. "So, what did we miss while I was ahem banging my wife?"
She giggled and then sighed. "Uh...Andy beat Pete's high score at Super Mario Bros. Joe, I think found some sort of riff thing that he likes. He's been playing it for hours. And I've found a new way to keep myself entertained."
I was intrigued. "And how is that?"
"Watch this. It's amazing, because when I do it, I know they can't hit me back..."
She wadded up a piece of paper on the floor, watching Andy and Pete as their faces were intent on the game. Ninja-like, she threw one of them perfectly at Pete's head. "HEY, What the FUCK." he said, and that was it. No throwing down the game controller, no lunging at her. He just sat there and continued his game. I sat there for a second and then burst out in laughter. Patrick had a huge smile on his face. "Wait, wait, lemme try..." He grabbed a piece of paper and this time he hit Andy in the face. "Patrick, What the HELL?"
Patrick started laughing, clutching his stomach. "Oh my GOD, that is AMAZING!"
Farrah laughed with him. "I KNOW RIGHT?"
For the next few minutes we did nothing more than throw paper at Pete and Andy, until we suddenly felt the bus stop. Pete paused the game and looked at us confused. "We....shouldn't be stopping yet. We can't already be in Detroit." he whispered to himself, getting up to see what was going on. At that moment, Rob burst into the bus, a huge grin on his face. "GUESS WHAT?"
"Dude, why'd you stop our bus?"
"Well...thanks for asking Pete. Unfortunately, we have a mob of fans that apparently have been chasing us for ages. No press or anything, just a bunch of crazed girls."
Joe set his guitar down. "Well, let's go sign some autographs then."
Rob smiled and clapped his hands together. "I was so hoping you guys would say that. Because they said they wouldn't stop until they met you."
Andy laughed. "I love our fans."
I turned to Rob. "Hey, can Farrah and I get off the bus too? I really need to get some fresh air."
"Yeah...just...if the fans start lunging at you or something, then run. If they wanna talk to you, go ahead. Nothing stopping you."
Patrick held out his arm to me as he stood up. "Shall we?"
"We shall." I replied, taking his arm, following everyone else off the bus. The screams were LOUD. Many of them were screaming for Pete, and I actually heard a few for Andy and Joe. I think one girl fainted in the front when she seen the guys step off the bus. Patrick seen the worried look on my face and reassured me that she was ok. "Trust me. You have no idea how many girls I've seen faint. They revive after a few seconds. See? Already up and screaming again."
Sure enough, she was back up, flailing her arms all over the place. The guys were finally close enough and started signing almost everything. Andy signed some guy's tattoo on his arm, Joe signed a guitar; all sorts of crazy things were being signed. Farrah and I hung back a little ways, watching the girls, and I seen a couple of them wave at us. I got Farrah's attention and we headed over towards them. They were closer to the back, so it wasn't likely that they were going to get seen, but we went over there anyways. It was two girls, probably around 15 or 16, one blonde, one brunette. 
"Ohmygod, you are even prettier in person." the blonde said to Farrah.
"Oh...well...thank you! That's very nice of you to say."
The brunette stared at me for a second and I politely said hello.
"I wish I was you."
"And stay on a bus with those guys? It may seem like a dream come true, but it tends to be a nightma-"
"No, I mean, like...I wish I was married to Patrick...." her voice got quieter with shyness as she said it out loud.
"Well, I'd think anyone was crazy if they didn't. He's a fantastic guy."
"He's AMAZING." She said with great enthusiasm.  
"That he is."
The blonde one turned to Farrah again. "Is it true that you made out with Pete?"
Farrah was slightly taken aback by the question but she answered nonetheless. "Yes. I did once. I'll let you in on a secret though-" she leaned in closer as the blonde listened intently. "-he's not that great of a kisser."
Both girls giggled incessantly and I smiled at them. "Hold on just on sec. I'll be right back." I left Farrah to talk to the two girls as I headed towards Patrick who was still signing this, that, and everything.
"Hey, babe. What's up?" he said, pausing for a moment.
"I just met a couple of girls and one of them is a HUGE fan of yours. She told me she wanted to be married to you." He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"And you didn't punch her in the face or anything?"
"I don't get THAT jealous."
"Well, then, let's go meet this girl." 
Patrick quickly signed the majority of everything else that was being thrust towards him and took my hand as he joined me towards the back where Farrah was still chatting with the two of them. I smiled as the brunette seen me walking with him by my side. I thought she was going to have a heart attack from seeing him in person.
"OHMYGOD."
I grinned some more as Patrick nervously adjusted his hat, watching her reaction.
"YOU'RE PATRICK STUMP."
"Yes. Yes, I am." he said calmly, smiling at her.
"....YOU. ARE. SO. HOT!!!!"
I had to bite my lip from laughing as Patrick's face turned bright red.
"Thank you, I think." he managed to giggle out. He turned to me, and I grinned at him, egging him on. "So, have you been to a show before?"
"Yeah, I've seen you loads of times. I cannot BELIEVE you are standing in front of me right now! This is like, a DREAM! I've like, imagined making out with you..." her voice got quiet again, as it did the first time, her shyness coming back. She looked quickly over at me and I winked. I leaned over and whispered in Patrick's ear.
"Go on, kiss her."
"I'm not gonna kiss her, she's not you." he hissed back quietly, making sure she couldn't hear.
"Aw, just do it once. You'll totally make like...her life. Not just her day. Her life. Look how excited she is to meet you, it's adorable."
He sighed quickly and looked back at the brunette. He looked towards me again and whispered, "Fine. But you have to promise to be jealous."
I smirked at him. "I'll try my hardest. You'll be punished for it later."
He bit his lip. "That's good enough for me."
We both turned back to the brunette and she was watching us intently. "What was that about?"
Patrick turned to me quickly with an apologetic look before he took a step forward towards the girl and replied, "Well, see, my wife here was just-"
She quickly moved forwards, crashing her lips onto his. Patrick was almost scared stiff. Patrick had gotten Farrah's attention, as she stopped chatting with the blonde, staring at him dumbfounded. "What the hell is he-"
"Just wait." I replied, waiting for the brunette to realize what she had just done.
Patrick pulled away quickly, and the girl stood there for a few minutes, so awestruck at what had just happened that she didn't say a word. Patrick moved back to me, grabbed me by the waist, and turned to the two girls. "Well, uh...see you soon, hopefully at a show or something."
Farrah ended her conversation with the blonde, hugging her before she said goodbye, and the brunette still stood there. Patrick waved a hand in front of her face to get some sort of response. "Nope. Nothing. Well, we gotta go, girls. Come on." We turned our backs to them and just as we were about to board the bus I heard a loud scream come from the crowd.
"I JUST KISSED PATRICK STUMP!"
I withheld my laughter until we got on the bus and then I let go. "See, Patrick? Look at that, you made that girl's entire life. You made her dreams come true."
Patrick shook his head sitting on the couch. "Ugh. Look, I'm all for the, make dreams come true thing, but NOT like that. Oh god, I am NEVER letting that happen again."
I sat down next to him and ran a hand down his chest. "You still made her happy. That was nice of you to...sort of agree to, Trick." Patrick still looked disgruntled.
Pete, Joe and Andy boarded the bus soon after us and Pete came over and pinched 
Patrick's cheeks. "Look who kissed his first groupie! I'm so proud of you! Our little Trick is growing up!"
Patrick batted Pete's hands away from his face. "Hey. I am not proud of that fact. Besides, I didn't kiss HER, she kissed me first."
"Aw, but some of them are fantastic kissers!"
Joe grinned. "I'll agree with that."
Andy nodded. "Some of them are respectable."
Patrick had a disgusted look on his face. "I feel like I've cheated on Kel, though."
I ran a hand over his face and looked at him worriedly. "Oh, honey, you didn't cheat on me. If you'd SLEPT with one of those nasty whores, then yes, that would've been cheating, but all you did was kiss a perfectly sweet girl and I was the one who told you to do it. Of course, she took initiative first, but, I see I shouldn't have put you up to it; I didn't know it was going to affect you this bad."
"I just feel bad about it. It's like there's this just...disgusting taste in my mouth that doesn't taste like...you."
Pete coughed, trying to disguise, "That's what she said."
Farrah stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, YOU'RE what she said, Pete."
"I should damn well hope so. Ain't no girl out there not screaming my name." he said, jokingly with a smirk. Farrah flipped him off and turned back to us. "Patrick, don't beat yourself up for it. You can't tell me that you haven't had a groupie attack your face before."
Patrick bit his lip and looked her in silence. Her mouth dropped open.
"Are you serious?!? Dear god, what is wrong with your guys' fans? If I was a fan of Patrick and I was you know, in love with him or whatever, I would be totally be all over that."
I laughed out loud at Farrah. "Well, that was definitely what she did."
"I'm just surprised there's not more of people like HER."
Pete casually crashed on the couch again. "Please, that's what I've been trying to tell him for years. There is TOTALLY a bunch of people that would probably kidnap the president to make out with Patrick."
Patrick threw his hands in the air. "And WHERE, dare I ask, have they been? In the past 5 years, I have never had a girl pounce on me and kiss me! You're all crazy!"
Pete laughed. "I've kidnapped them all. They aren't allowed to come anywhere near you, Trick, because you are ALL mine."
I grabbed onto Patrick's arm. "Hey, Patrick is mine."
"You're just lucky I didn't find a large garbage bag in the hotel to put you in before he asked you to marry him."
With that, all of us laughed out loud. Rob came onto the bus again, his hands full of papers. Farrah stared at all the papers. "WHAT in the WORLD is that?"
"Fanmail." he replied quickly, separating the piles of papers for each of the guys. "And, actually, Farrah, Keliah, you both got some stuff too."
We both grabbed our few letter and ripped them open. Rob said farewell, and the bus started moving again as we all sat down, looking through our letters. Pete held up one of his letters and waved it around. "Ha, this girl loves me."
Joe shook his head, reading one of his letters, not looking up. "Yeah, yeah, Pete. Everyone knows that."
Patrick read one of his out loud. "God, guys, listen to this: 'Patrick. I absolutely adore your voice and your music. Not to mention the fact that you are incredibly handsome. And as much as I think you being married may be the worst thing to happen in my life, I love you anyways.' What the hell kind of fan letter is that?"
Farrah laughed. "Sounds like an angry kind of fan letter. You think that's bad, listen to this one: 'You're really pretty, Farrah. Don't take offense to this, but each of those guys could do way better than you.' In what way could that not be considered offensive?"
Andy giggled at that. "Oh god, this is amazing. 'Andy, you sometimes look like Animal when you play the drums. It's AMAZINGLY hot. If you ever need a girlfriend, I would be HAPPY to take the spot.' Girls are now offering to become my girlfriend. That. Is. AWESOME."
Joe flailed around one letter. "See, this is a pure example of how awesome our fans are right here: 'So, I seen you guys back in L.A, and it was a fantastic show, you're all really really talented. But that's not the reason for my letter. I've taken the liberty to have an actual star in space named Fall Out Boy. So now your guys' talent and music and stuff can be remembered forever. At least by me.' Someone named a fucking STAR after us!!! That is the COOLEST THING EVER!"
I was silent as I read some of mine. Many of them were nice, some with congratulations, some with best wishes and things of that sort. But there were some that were just outright mean. A few told me that they wished I wasn't married to Patrick, and that I would be out of the way so they could get THEIR man. Patrick nudged me with his elbow.
"Hey, honey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's nothing."
Patrick lifted an eyebrow. "I don't believe you."
He grabbed one of the letters I had set aside and read it, his face turning from calm to outrage. "Oh my GOD. What the hell-"
Andy looked up to see Patrick's face. "Whoa, dude. What's up?"
Patrick stood up, pacing the floor as he read. "Listen to this bullshit. 'I understand that you're married to Patrick and all that, but he doesn't love you. We all know that. He's doing this all for press, because everyone thinks that he's too shy and doesn't talk to anybody. I wouldn't trust him if I were you. Besides, I'm going to marry him when I'm older anyways, so you don't have a chance.'"
Pete took the letter from Patrick's hand, and I curled up in the corner of the couch. Pete read over it and shook his head. "Kel, you can't take this stuff seriously. They're just jealous."
I stayed silent and Patrick sat back down next to me. He ran his hand up my thigh and spoke calmly. "Pete's right. You can't worry about people like that. Some people are always going to talk shit, and there's nothing anyone can do about it." he turned back to the rest of the band. "I knew this whole press nonsense was a bad idea. I never wanted this to affect my family!" he added, getting angrier again.
Farrah gave me a hug and put her hand under my chin. "Come on, sweetie. We've been through a lot together, and this is definitely not the worst we've had to deal with. So a few fangirls think we're not good enough for their boys. Do you hear THEM complaining about us?"
The guys all piped up and answered.
"I don't see a problem with either of you. You're both fantastic."
"And who doesn't like having a couple of hot chicks on the bus?"
"Yeah, and don't forget the fact that you make us fruit milkshakes. For breakfast."
Patrick smiled at the both of us. "Farrah, you're a marvelous, very loyal girl, and if anyone ever said otherwise, they don't know you at all. And Kel, there is NOTHING bad about you. Absolutely NOTHING. You are the most compassionate, perfect, talented, beautiful girl I have EVER met, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And if anyone EVER doubts my love for you, I will personally kick them in the mouth, I promise."
Pete nodded. "Yes, as much as I am a douche bag at times, you girls are definitely like family by now. You've both seen us as people instead of rockstars, which is much appreciated. Some fans just...don't get that we're...people, I guess."
Farrah gave a half-hearted laugh. "Ain't that the truth. If they had to spend over a month in a tour bus with you guys, I think they might run away screaming."
Soon enough, everyone was laughing again, and the mood lightened up a great deal.
"See? We all get along fine. No one hates anyone else. They have no idea how great our lives are." Patrick said gently, stroking my hair. I finally looked up at him and lunged at him, knocking him over on the couch with a hug. "I love you. So so so so much." I gently placed my lips on his and he ran his hands down my spine. 
"I love you too. Don't EVER forget that."