FicWad

BEFORE I BEGIN.
THE FOLLOWING IS FICTIONAL AND DEPICTS NO REAL PERSON(S) OR EVENTS.
PLEASE BE RESPECTIVE OF WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN AND LEAVE ONLY CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK.
THANK YOU.

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I left home on June 6th 2010 at 23:00 to explore a small part of England until my money runs out.

The reason I’ve decided to just up and leave abruptly will become apparent in time.

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7th June 2010 - YORK

Home has got too much for me. I needed to get out for a while, so I decided suddenly that is what I was going to do. I slept with D and I don’t know what I expected when I did.

I figure now that I liked him way more than I should. And then he told me I couldn’t see him again and I felt used.

That is what pushed me to get out, to go anywhere and it seemed that York was a good place to go. I came here when I was young with Mum and Dad and I enjoyed it.

The pain that D caused me brought me to a place with good memories. I got on the first train that came.

You should know that I’m with a man already - Yes, I cheated on him, but I don’t regret it. It was an experience. However I had no Idea that I would care this much for D after 3 days in Sheffield.

I arrived in York with no Idea where I was going to stay. The original Idea was going to be Scotland to see family, but I needed to be alone for a while. And so I found a hotel and booked 2 nights in.

Oh, shit, it’s raining.

OK, I found shelter under a tree, isn’t nature helpful?

So anyway, I leave York on Tuesday, but I don’t know where to go next.

I know I need to keep enough money to be able to get home though, that is all that matters. I came here with £200 in my pocket and £600 in my bank. The hotel alone cost me £155 and the train was £21 odd.

I miss Rufus, my precious motorbike :(

So, I’ve visited the York dungeons, a little ‘House of Horrors’ so to speak, and the castle like D said I should. I may go to Devon tomorrow, but then I want D to come with me.

What am I doing? I hope this trip sorts my head out. I kinda did all this to run away from the whole situation.

We had a conversation, D and I, while I was waiting for the train home from Sheffield. It was about just getting on any train and leaving for anywhere, little did I know that less than a week later, I would actually be doing it! That is when he told me he wanted to go to Devon.

He acted so great with me and I wanted to stay with him. But right now I hate him, even though I keep texting him. I don’t know what I want. I’m not even sure I want any relationship at all at the moment.

I really need time to think about everything that has happened to me in the passed few weeks.

Just been for dinner. Had an Ocean Pie, and it’s was really nice, but all I could see around me were couples and friends.

All I want to do is write about D, the reason I’m here, however over-dramatic that may seem. But that is how I feel - IRRATIONAL.

I’m a little annoyed with myself for spending so much money today, but this is my getaway and it will happen however it happens - However I NEED it to happen.

I just found out Ky, my friend, is pregnant. I sort of expected it to happen.

Today has made a somewhat unexpected impact on me. It feels more like a day out though and I’m contemplating giving up all outside communication.

Maybe just for a day.

Let’s see, eh?

But once again my mind keeps leading me back to D.

Every time I see a mini, I hear the words in my head “Mini Punch, No Return”. And yet I believe this makes me a little pathetic.

This is the reflection I need to figure out what I want, though.

Yet, I still wish he would text me. I think it’s because I’m in a relationship… no I KNOW it is. I know that once he sees me again, he would fall in love with me again. But what would happen one I leave?

Do I actually LOVE him? Or maybe it’s just LUST? Ah, the age old question…

For now though, I’m just going to try and get this DW video to work…

K x