Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy

A Self-Esteem To Match

by Keliah 0 reviews

I sat in the hallway outside the band room waiting for class to start. I did this almost every day. Normally before class I would just sit and read a book or write some vague lyrics down in my note...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Published: 2010-09-29 - Updated: 2010-09-29 - 2917 words - Complete

So, this is all written from Patrick's perspective. I'm sure there's alot of discrepancies, but hey, I have no clue what his high school was like. Either way, I've always wondered how he behaved as a teenager, so I suppose this is what I've pictured in my head of him to be. I guess I could turn this into a whole full-blown story, but I don't know as of right now what I'm going to do with it. So, rate and review please, tell me whether you'd want to read more of this nonsense, all that good stuff. In the meantime, enjoy!

I sat in the hallway outside the band room waiting for class to start. I did this almost every day. Normally before class I would just sit and read a book or write some vague lyrics down in my notebook, but today I actually had my guitar with me. Luckily, the hallway was practically empty, so I decided to take it out and play. My legs were crossed, my faded and ripped jeans fitting tightly to my thighs. I rolled up the sleeves of my shirt and pushed up the glasses on my nose to read the chords in front of me. I opened my book full of songs to a random page and let it choose for me. Looks like song of the day was 'Let's Get It On' by Marvin Gaye. It was one of my most beloved songs, not counting all the Prince songs I had stashed in my repertoire.
I quickly adjusted the hat on my head and glanced at the chord book again before I started to play. I sang quietly at first. I didn't really want more attention than I already would probably get playing a guitar in the hallway. You'd think people around here have never seen a dude with a guitar before. It's pathetic how they'll gawk and stare. It's not like I'm that good. I just strum chords. I don't get it. I looked up quickly from my book to see that there was no one else left in the hallway, so I started singing a bit louder.
"There's nothing wrong with me,
Loving you...
Giving yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true, oh baby..."
I really got into the song. It was a good song, I don't know of anyone who doesn't get into the groove of a favorite song. I know I get carried away sometimes, but hey. There's no one in this hallway to make fun of me for it today, so there. I closed my eyes and continued to sing.
"...If the spirit moves you,
Let me groove you good..."
I finished the song with one last strum of the guitar. I opened my eyes to see a girl standing off to the side, waiting for the class across from me to open. She was watching me, and I tried to ignore it for awhile, fumbling with my things trying to pretend like it never happened. Honestly, of all songs, I had to be singing THAT one when a girl is in the hallway? Really? Thank you world, for making me seem even more awkward than what I already am. I grabbed my guitar and my bag and tried to lean up against the wall, thinking maybe she didn't hear all of it. My hopes were crushed when I heard her voice softly say, "You play really well."
I was about to reply when the bell rang in the halls, everyone rushing through the hallway at once. I saw her hurry into her class, and I just sighed and walked into the band room without another thought.
I lugged my guitar with me to lunch after band was over with. I looked desperately for that girl that spoke to me earlier, but I couldn't find her. The only thing I remember before I nervously looked down, was her hair. It was light brown. Her hair was fairly short, it wasn't long by any means, but it wasn't pixie short either. It was probably about shoulder-length. Dear god, look at me. Obsessing over what a girl's hair looks like. Like she'd even wanna talk to me after what she heard. She probably thinks I'm some jerk who wants to sleep with every girl he meets now. I seen my friends sitting at the lunch table waiting for me. Pete was the most obnoxious of the bunch. But he was my best friend, so what can you do, you know? Andy was the quiet one. He never talked much, but we had a lot on common, so we got along really well. Joe was right in between. He was obnoxious at times and outspoken, but there were other times when he would be shy and reserved for awhile. I was really good friends with all of them, and to be perfectly honest, they were my only friends in the school. I had some people that I got along with every once in awhile, everyone would talk to me, but no one ever really wanted to be my 'friend'. Most of the time I would brush it off as nothing; if they didn't want me as a friend, they probably weren't worth my time.
I sat down, carefully setting my guitar on the cafeteria table. I quickly adjusted my hat on my head, and put my bag next to the guitar. Pete eyed the guitar and spoke.
"So...writing music again?"
"Not this morning." I said with a sigh.
"Then what are you doing carrying around a guitar?" Joe said.
"I was waiting for the band room to open. I always get there way too early, so I decided to just play some songs in the hallway."
Pete spoke up again. "You sang in the middle of the hallway? Since when are you Mr. Confidence?"
I shot him a glare and replied. "There was no one in the hallway...well, at least, there wasn't when I started singing..."
Andy looked up from his comic. "Someone heard you?"
"I don't really know how much she heard..."
Pete got excited. "SHE? A girl heard you?"
"I had my eyes closed when I was singing and I don't know how long she was standing there. She looked at me when I finished and said something like, 'You play really well.' and then the bell rang and I never saw her again."
Joe held up his hands. "Now wait a second, hold up. Why she talked to you can be figured out by one small piece of information you decided to leave out."
"What song were you singing?"
I held my face in my hands, dragging my fingers down my face, thinking of my stupidity. "Let's Get It On."
Joe and Pete high-fived each other and smiled wide. "She totally wants in your pants, bro."
I looked at them with annoyance. "Really? That's what you've come up with?"
Joe shrugged. "Well, if you were singing 'Private Eyes' or something, she'd probably think you were a stalker. So...given the song choice, it's obvious she wanted in your pants." he said matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, sure." I said, rolling my eyes. "Look at me. Girls don't talk to me. Hell, I can't even get a girl to be my science partner, let alone be my girlfriend. Senior year of high school, and I can't even get a girl to look at me. What is it about me that seems to just...scare them off?"
I looked down at what I was wearing today. A plaid shirt was typical, sleeve rolled up to my elbow, and black sweatband around my wrist. My pants were nothing different than what everyone else wore. Washed out, and faded with the pant legs fairly loose. The black thick-rimmed glasses on my face probably didn't add to whatever look I was trying to achieve, but I didn't quite care. It helped hide my face along with the hat on my head. Either way, I wasn't exactly the most handsome guy in school. I was basically the band geek, nerd, whatever you wanna call it. I wasn't on the football team, I wasn't an incredibly good student, I really didn't have much to brag about except for my musical abilities, and that never seemed to pick up chicks in my case. Pete never had a problem with it. Maybe it was something about bass players. I could play bass. And the drums. And the guitar. Damnit, why weren't girls paying attention to me?
Pete sighed at my remark. "Maybe because you're such a self deprecating son of a bitch." he said exasperatingly. I nodded in half-agreement and Andy patted me on the back.    
"Eh, Trick, don't worry about it. There has to be at least one girl in this school that likes you. You just don't know who she is."
Joe smirked. "Yeah, she probably follows you to your house every day, but because she's so good at stalking you, you have no idea who she is."
Andy slapped him on the arm and looked back at me. "Do you know who the girl was in the hallway? Was she someone in our class?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. She had light brown hair that was about shoulder-length, but that's all I seen before everyone filled into the hallways."
Pete and Joe looked at each other. "We're gonna find this girl. Meet us at Joe's locker after school. We'll find her."
I laughed a little at Pete's determination. "Yeah, alright."
The bell rang again. Lunch was over, and now it was time for math. I HATED math. Not only was it the most boring class I had throughout the day, it was the last class of the day, making it seem like it lasted HOURS. Pete quickly stood up. "Fuck, I'm gonna be late, my class is all the way on the other end of the school."
With that, he ran off without another word. Joe headed after Pete, and Andy was in my math class so we just walked there together. He opened the door to the room. "Welcome to hell." I smirked a bit, sighed and walked in the classroom.
Last class was finally over with just as the teacher was about to assign homework. I ran out of the class like a bat out of hell. If you didn't hear the homework, you didn't have to do it, was my philosophy. I waited for Andy outside the room.
"Hey, we have homew-"
I held up a hand to stop him. "Nope. No. If I don't hear it, I don't have to do it."
Andy rolled his eyes. "No wonder your grades suck."
I smiled and we headed to Joe's locker. There was a mob of girls around his locker all talking to Pete at the moment. The minute I seen all those girls, my eyes shot straight to my shoes and I walked to his lockers nervously. I avoided their eyes and started talking to Joe. "What the hell have you guys done?"
"Found every single girl in the school with light brown hair."
As small as the school is, they probably did find them all. Pete waved to me and tried to get my attention. Oh fuck, I thought. He's gonna make me talk in front of all these girls.
"TRICK. Hey, dude." he walked through the swarm of girls. "So, which one was it?"
One girl in the group snarled at Pete. "You said you'd hook me up with a CUTE guy." A few of them agreed and stormed off.
I glared at Pete. "Well, that was awesome for my self-esteem, what the fuck else can you do to me today?"
"Forget them, they were bitches anyway. I really only know a few of these chicks, and I only brought them because they had the hair color you were talking about. Most of them were probably fake. Anyways, just look at them. Which one was it?"
I nervously looked up from my shoes again, and looked at the few girls left. The minute I saw her, I knew which one it was. "Her." I whispered to Pete, nodded towards the one on the far left.
Pete looked over at her with interest. "Really?...interesting...." he walked over to her, and I spun to face Joe and Andy. "What am I gonna do? Ask, 'hey, you said you liked my playing, do you wanna hang out sometime?' I'm gonna sound like an idiot! I can't do thi-"
I heard Pete behind me, telling the rest of the girls to beat it. I was quickly forced to turn around by Pete's hand on my shoulder and I was face to face with the girl from the hallway. Pete grinned at the stunned look on my face.
"So, Patrick, this is Matilda. Mattie, this is Patrick."
She smiled at me, and I could feel my cheeks get hot. She spoke first, luckily. "You're the boy that was playing in the hallway." 
I nodded, still at a loss for words. I tried to stumble out something to say. "Yeah, um....yeah. That w-was, um, me."
She laughed the cutest laugh I've ever heard. Pete hit me lightly in the arm, and I looked up from the floor again. I looked into her eyes. They were a pale blue. I didn't see much more until reflex took over again and I looked away.
"You sing really good, too." she said, trying to break the silence.
"Oh...uh, thanks."
"I love that song that you were playing. Marvin Gaye, right?"
Her knowledge of what I was playing got my attention. "Yeah, 'Let's Get It On'. Not like, we should get it- I mean, you know, the name of the song, not like, you and me, oh god...I'm just gonna stop talking..."
I heard Joe suppress a giggle as I stumbled over my words. Matilda laughed. I shoved my hands in my pockets and spoke without thinking. You've gotta take a leap at least once in your life, right?
"So, would like to hang out sometime? about, music, or something. Or we don't have to talk about music, we could just-"
I was taken back by her giggles again, laughing at my nervousness. "Yes. We can hang out sometime. How about tomorrow after school? We'll go to that coffee shop down the street."
"Uh...okay. I'll drive, if you'd like."
"Sure. See you tomorrow, then."
She smiled and waved as she walked away to the end of the hallway and down the stairs. Pete smirked. "You are SO lucky I actually know that girl."
"What do you mean, you know her?"
"She's a friend of the family. Her parents are friends with my parents. She lives right next door to me, actually."
I looked at him as we all started walking out of the school. "You mean to tell me, as many times as I've been to your house, SHE'S been living next door? And I've never seen her?"
Pete held up his hands. "Hey, how was I supposed to know she was your type?"
"She's not my type." I scoffed at him. "I just wanna talk to her. It'd be nice to talk to someone without any kind of alternate motive that's a girl for a change. Or at least, a girl that isn't talking to me to get to you."
Joe laughed. "Yeah, Mattie's definitely not into Pete, is she Pete?"
"Shut up, dude." he said.
"Pete tried to get her attention by doing something stupid when he was in elementary school. He tried jumping off the roof onto something in the yard. Long story short, he broke something of hers that had been left in his yard, and she threw a rock at him."
Andy and I burst out laughing and Pete had a scowl on his face. "I kept trying to tell her it was an accident, and I ended up with a huge bruise on the side of my head. We were both like, 9 years old anyways. However, because of that bruise on my head, we've been friends ever since. Apparently nothing bonds two people like one hitting the other with a rock."
We all laughed at him at that point. I was soon lost in my own thoughts as said our goodbyes and got into our cars. That girl didn't like me. I could tell from the way she talked. She just thought that I sang and played guitar really well. Still, I couldn't believe after all these years, I've never seen her before. She was pretty, but as I said, she wasn't my...normal type, guess. Last few times I've liked a girl, it's always been the girl that every guy wants, of course, leaving me behind in the dust when the rest of the guys chase after her. Maybe that was my biggest problem. Right now, I just want a girl to talk to. I wasn't looking for a 'love at first sight' thing. Maybe if I got to know at least one girl, maybe my chances of getting a girl would be higher. If I can keep a friend that's a girl, I should be able to keep a girlfriend, right? Matilda seemed nice, and really sweet. Not to mention that she had the most adorable laugh I've ever heard.
It's a start, I suppose.
It's a start.
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