Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I think I'll die alone
Alex's POV
I watched as everyone was happy with a boyfriend , girlfriend , or best friend.
I just watched.
I was a Bisexual , mostly a lesbian though.
I drank my ice coffee like cyanide.
Slowly, as my thoughts of death approaches me.
I thought of the hand gun under my bed, about how I would never be able to use it, and how I want to die.
"Hey Alex," My thoughts faded as Frankie walked towards me.
I smiled on the outside, I was thinking of death on the inside.
"Alex, tell me something," I nodded and rubbed my scared arm.
"What happened to you?" Frank sat down next to me on the grass.
I understood why Gerard thought he was beautiful, I know how Gerard feels about Frankie, and I understood why he hid it from the world.
My step parents would not except my sexuality.
They only support gays and lesbians.
Thanks to those STD Hollywood whores, they think that bisexuals only choose that sexuality to get other guys to like them.
"Frank, my parents were murdered when I was 13, I watched them die. "
I started to cry, I put my head on franks shoulder,
" My boyfriend Anthony and I wanted to die together one day. We tried to O.D. My grandparents found us on the bathroom floor. They tried to save us."
The tears like liquid silver trickled.
"What do you mean they tried to save us? Your still here," Electric tears pierced like the blade of a knife , "I feel dead in this world. Ya I act all random and crazy, but its all fake. I don't want to bring other down."
He hugged me. I wept. I couldn't hold back all of those tears. The memory of the knife to my mother's neck sent pain through my empty heart.
"Frank," I held back my tears He pulled away and looked at me with his light brown hazel greenish eyes filled with sympathy and sorrow,
"I want you to do something for me."
I looked at our friends who were chasing each other around the play ground ,kissing, or throwing rock and shit at each other. All so happy.
"Your going to your boyfriend's house today," I giggled and he smiled to himself.
"Fine your going to stay at Gerard's house tonight?"
He nodded.
He needed to do this for me because no one else would.
"Come here tomorrow at 8 pm, okay? I need you to help me."
He didn't look me in the eye.
He grabbed my arm and looked at the scars.
He traced the newest one with the tip of his finger.
"Ill come, I could never imagine someone hurting themselves like this."
He was write my scar were deep and bloody, sometimes I fainted because of the amount of blood I lost.
"Thank you," I kissed his cheek and got up.
The thought of what he was going to do made me smile.
The thought of Frank Iero pulling the trigger and I would never feel the pain again.
*
I laid on the bed.
I smiled at the idea of Frank Iero ending my sorrow.
No! Alex bless his innocent soul , don't you dare do this to him.
I pulled the gun from under my bed.
The pills and razors in my drawer.
I needed help , you can't hold me back from this.
But you have sympathy Alex, your broken heart still has love.
I thought of the gun to my head,
I thought of the razors in my drawer,
I thought of the pills Eric swallowed,
I thought of the love Frank had for Gerard,
I thought of the Venom in my veins,
I thought of the sorrow in my heart,
and I thought of my body on the bathroom floor.
I watched as everyone was happy with a boyfriend , girlfriend , or best friend.
I just watched.
I was a Bisexual , mostly a lesbian though.
I drank my ice coffee like cyanide.
Slowly, as my thoughts of death approaches me.
I thought of the hand gun under my bed, about how I would never be able to use it, and how I want to die.
"Hey Alex," My thoughts faded as Frankie walked towards me.
I smiled on the outside, I was thinking of death on the inside.
"Alex, tell me something," I nodded and rubbed my scared arm.
"What happened to you?" Frank sat down next to me on the grass.
I understood why Gerard thought he was beautiful, I know how Gerard feels about Frankie, and I understood why he hid it from the world.
My step parents would not except my sexuality.
They only support gays and lesbians.
Thanks to those STD Hollywood whores, they think that bisexuals only choose that sexuality to get other guys to like them.
"Frank, my parents were murdered when I was 13, I watched them die. "
I started to cry, I put my head on franks shoulder,
" My boyfriend Anthony and I wanted to die together one day. We tried to O.D. My grandparents found us on the bathroom floor. They tried to save us."
The tears like liquid silver trickled.
"What do you mean they tried to save us? Your still here," Electric tears pierced like the blade of a knife , "I feel dead in this world. Ya I act all random and crazy, but its all fake. I don't want to bring other down."
He hugged me. I wept. I couldn't hold back all of those tears. The memory of the knife to my mother's neck sent pain through my empty heart.
"Frank," I held back my tears He pulled away and looked at me with his light brown hazel greenish eyes filled with sympathy and sorrow,
"I want you to do something for me."
I looked at our friends who were chasing each other around the play ground ,kissing, or throwing rock and shit at each other. All so happy.
"Your going to your boyfriend's house today," I giggled and he smiled to himself.
"Fine your going to stay at Gerard's house tonight?"
He nodded.
He needed to do this for me because no one else would.
"Come here tomorrow at 8 pm, okay? I need you to help me."
He didn't look me in the eye.
He grabbed my arm and looked at the scars.
He traced the newest one with the tip of his finger.
"Ill come, I could never imagine someone hurting themselves like this."
He was write my scar were deep and bloody, sometimes I fainted because of the amount of blood I lost.
"Thank you," I kissed his cheek and got up.
The thought of what he was going to do made me smile.
The thought of Frank Iero pulling the trigger and I would never feel the pain again.
*
I laid on the bed.
I smiled at the idea of Frank Iero ending my sorrow.
No! Alex bless his innocent soul , don't you dare do this to him.
I pulled the gun from under my bed.
The pills and razors in my drawer.
I needed help , you can't hold me back from this.
But you have sympathy Alex, your broken heart still has love.
I thought of the gun to my head,
I thought of the razors in my drawer,
I thought of the pills Eric swallowed,
I thought of the love Frank had for Gerard,
I thought of the Venom in my veins,
I thought of the sorrow in my heart,
and I thought of my body on the bathroom floor.
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