FicWad

~Gerard~



“Gerard!” Mom was calling me from upstairs. “Gerard would you get up here!”


Lazily pulling myself out of bed, I made my way upstairs to the kitchen where I smelt fresh coffee. Mikey was standing in the doorway, satchel over his shoulder.


“I wanted you to see your brother off to his first day of his senior year.” Mom explained, I looked at Mikey, light denim skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt, with a black beanie on his head and his glasses sliding down his nose- again.


“Looking sharp Mikes.” I laughed, leaning over and pushing them up his face. “Have a good day of school, and don’t take anyone’s shit, I love you bro.”


“Love you too.” He smiled. “See ya!” and he was out the door to catch the bus.


“He’s growing up so fast.” My mom sighed, so I got out of there before she started crying or giving a speech. Down in my room I flopped down on my bed, I was both jealous and relived. I was relived that Mikey wouldn’t get picked on like he did when I was a senior and he was a freshman, because he got picked on because of me. No one in that high school even remembered I was his brother, and I wanted to keep it that way. Mikey had friends, I did not have very many at all, people liked Mikey, he was funny and smart and had talent, I did not. Mikey had one set of genitals, I did not.



Hermaphrodite, the fucking word I hated, but its what I was, labeled at birth. Problem was, before I was born, the sonograms only showed that I was a boy, so my name was chosen before birth, and it was kept I even after my parent’s realized I was equipped with both a vagina and penis, however no testicles, so basically I can never have children.

For the majority of my young life, I had thought I was a boy, and all boys had parts like that. I dressed in boy clothes, everything. Until I was 13 and I “menstruated” I literally thought I was dying, no one had warned nor informed me this was going to happen, I was just a terrified 13 year old bleeding from my genitals. My parent’s took me to see a special doctor, several tests were done, and that’s when I first heard someone call me a hermaphrodite. In a long hour, the doctor taught about what I was, what I had extra and what I lacked. It left me mentally fucked up for several months, and when I finally got hold of the concept, figured I would proceed in wearing boys clothes, no one had to know about my problem, it would have all been perfect, if it wasn’t for a nasty little called breast development.


My teen years were so fucked up, what 13 year old boy has to go bra shopping with his mother? Of course at first, it was only sports bras, to make them as less obvious as possible, but every few months, I was upgrading to a bigger size. I couldn’t hide my chest size once I was in high school, by the time I was 16, if you didn’t notice, you were blind. It caused a lot of depression and self hatred, which I still posses. No one wanted to be friends with Gerard way the freak with boobs.


Between all that, I had realized I was attracted to men, to make matters even worse, fag was added to my list of names, and all that goes with that.


Now I lay here on my bed, 20 years old, 21 in April, the school I go to for art, first semester doesn’t start until next week, and eventually I will have to drag my ass out of bed, seeing that I start work at 11 in the morning, it was 8 right now. I sighed, got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, stripped off my clothes, and for once I looked into the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes as always, my face was pale, thanks to having both sex hormones, I don’t grow facial hair so I never have to shave. My body was pale too, but such a contradicting image. Broad shoulders, large breasts, a not so flat stomach, but not huge, an average waist, a feminine ass, men’s legs, and not to mention two sets of genitals between my legs, of great fucking joy.




I climbed into the shower, letting the hot water consume me, when I opened my eyes, I realized it wasn’t just the hot water trickling down my cheek, they were tears. Why can’t I just be normal, like Mikey? He has looks, friends, he looks like one gender, people like hanging out with him, he’s even good in school. And I’m just Gerard way, a somewhat failure, a disappointment to my parent’s, though the never say it to my face they never wanted a gay hermaphrodite son who wants to do art for a living. By now I was sobbing, trying to get a hold of my self, I haven’t cried this hard in a long time.



I got out of the shower and got dressed in black boxers, a black sports bra, wincing at its tightness, but the tighter it was, the more it flattens out my chest. I found some jeans and one of my Iron Maiden tees, slipped on converse, and ran a comb through my wet hair and went upstairs.


The clock said it was only nine, but Grandma’s house was on the way, and I had the urge to stop in, because she always made me feel better. I walked the four blocks to her house, and smiled when she opened the door. She was about 5’5, with graying black hair tied in a lose braid, wearing simple jeans a sweater.



“Gerard! Come in!” She pulled me into a hug and into the house. “I don’t ever expect you over so early.” she smiled.

“I wanted to stop in before work Grandma.” I explained, she just smiled and nodded.


She reached up and touched my cheek. “You’ve been crying, what’s wrong?





A hour and a bunch of cookies later, I had spilled to her everything I felt this morning, she just listened and squeezed me hand the whole time, then told me to have another cookie, she’s trying to get me fatter I swear.


“Now listen Gerard.” she said seriously before I had to leave. “There is no one like you and there will never be. You are Gerard Arthur Way, the one and only, and my beautiful eldest grandson. Don’t let anyone ever put you down, because then that makes a coward out both of you. I love you Gerard, now have a great day!” she smiled and leaned up to kiss my cheek.













OK, this is totally new, i reallt need feedback on this one, please tell me what you thought of it.