Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > My heart, it beats for you.
A/N: Ryan's POV again... I'm going to try to get this to be a nice, long chapter, since my writings have been short, as of late. Ryan's POV is easier to write, for some weird reason. I mean, Nicole is kind of me during freshman year, and Ryan is the boyfriend I had from eighth grade up until two weeks ago, sophomore year, if we'd stayed together. Well, read it, sorry for the long-ass author note. Title is from "One Man Drinking Games" by Mayday Parade.
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That perfection ended when her bedazzled sidekick began to ring at around three in the morning, with her mother's ringtone.
This ain't a scene, yeah, it's a goddamn arms race, this ain't a scene, yeah, it's a go-\
"Hello?," she asked, her voice tired, but scared. I heard her mother shout something at my Nicole, my love. "I'm on my way, mother. I'll be there soon," she said as she packed up, pulling on the change of clothes she had brought with her: a long sleeve, neon purple Glamour Kills tee and slashed skinny jeans. "I have to go, babe. I love you," she whimpered. Her voice was obviously scared, and I was scared for her. I took her hands and carefully placed them onto my waist while kissing her passionately.
"I love you, too. So damn much, it hurts," I said, my lips on the top of her dainty head. "And I never want to loose you. Please, promise me you'll come back tomorrow."
"If I can, I will. I promise," she replied before giving me a quick peck on the neck and leaving, slamming the door behind her.
For the rest of the night, I was sprawled across my bed; sleep simply wouldn't come. Nicole had got me thinking about my dad, and his struggle with the bottle. Something compelled me to write something about it; maybe Panic! could turn it into a song? So I grabbed the blue notebook I kept on my nightstand and started writing.
Watch your mouth,
Your speech is slurred enough,
that you might swallow your tongue...
________________________________________________________(Nicole's POV in this next insert)______
I pulled into my apartment complex's parking lot, The Beatles crooning about how they were only sleeping. I knew she was home, and I knew she was angry. My stomach filled with dread as I turned off my car and climbed the stairs to apartment 326 on the third floor. I unlocked the door tentatively to be greeted by my short, stout, fifty six year old mother.
"Where were you?!," she demanded.
"I-I was at Kaylie's," I stuttered. Kaylie was my girl best friend, and my mother loved her. Kaylie also knew about what my mother did to me, and she knew to cover my ass, if need be.
"We'll just see about that!," she screamed. She pulled out her old flip phone and dialed the number to Kaylie's house. See, Kaylie's mother was rarely home, and her brother was rarely sober, so she was usually the one to answer the phone. I prayed tonight was not an exception. "Oh, hi, Kaylie," my mother cooed, her voice sticky-sweet. "I was just wondering if Nicole was there earlier, dear." I knew Kaylie would say yes, although I hadn't seen her all week; she was suspended for getting a septum ring. "Oh, ok, thank you. Bu-bye, dear," she said. "She said you were. You're lucky, you little whore!," she shouted as her masculine hand hit my face; her wedding ring cut my cheek. She huffed once, as if triumphant, and walked away.
I took this as my cue to sprint into my bathroom, locking the door behind me. The cut hurt, but it wasn't deep. Her hand, however, had left a budding bruise across my already hurt cheek. I sighed as I cleaned the wound. I didn't want Ryan worrying anymore, but he loved me, and I knew that he wanted only the best for me. I knew this wasn't the best, but this is what I had.
_______________________________________________________(Back to Ryan's POV)_____________________
The next day, Panic! practiced in the tiny soundproof space we rented out.
"Hey, guys, I wrote a new song!," I chimed as I walked in. Brendon was hyper, as usual, and Jon was tuning his bass and talking to Spencer.
"Yay, new song, new song, new sssoooonnngggg!," cried Brendon as he ran around in a circle, flapping his arms wildly. We were all used to his childish antics, but we couldn't help but to laugh.
"Like, music and everything?," asked Spencer. His face was lit up like a little boy in the Hot Wheels section of Toys R Us.
"Yes, Spencer. Now, lemme show you guys how to play this..."
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday morning, I found her by her hippie van, dressed in a loose, white peasant blouse with a neon pink pair of skinnies, her long hair unstraightened so that it hung in natural loose curls.
"You look beautiful this morning," I said while cupping her face with my hands and kissing her forehead. I slowly moved my lips to hers, deepening our kiss. Her small, pink tongue brushed my patient lips; this was unusual, as I was usually the one to lead our kisses. But none the less, I allowed her entry. I smoothed my tongue over hers, and it was amazing. Before long, Brendon, Spencer, and Jon had walked up behind us; we didn't notice.
"Boo!," shouted Brendon, making both me and Nicole jump. "And so it begins," Brendon said, his arm wrapped around Kaylie's, Nicole's friend's, waist.
"Is my Brenny-Boo jealous?," cooed Kaylie.
"Brenny-Boo? Kaylie...?," said Nicole with a quizzical look.
"Yes, Nicole. I am dating this beautiful girl right here," said Brendon. He then looked down at the tiny, four-foot-eleven girl and kissed the top of her head before picking her up and pressing his full lips to her small ones; her septum ring was resting on his nose.
"Well, this isn't awkward at all," said Jon sarcastically as I turned to kiss Nicole. We didn't hear him as we walked the stairs into the school, sharing ear buds, listening to If I Fell by The Beatles. Our fingers were laced together as I bent down and kissed her with as much passion as I could muster. We were quickly surrounded by cat calls, but we didn't care. I never wanted the moment to end.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
As I walked home from a boring day at school, I pulled out my black, glossy Sidekick and texted Nicole.
Mom home?, I sent.
No, y??
Mayb ull movie in tonite?
Come over + help?
On my way. ily forever
ily till my last breath
I had no idea how close she was to that.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
As I approached her door, something didn't feel right. I don't know why; I guess you could call it a premonition. I knocked on the thick, wooden door, to be greeted by a woman about four foot ten, with tanned skin and long, fake nails. I knew this was her mother.
"Ah, the infamous Ryan. Nicole's in her room," she said coldy. That was weird,I thought. Nicole said she wasn't home. I made my way into her room and gasped. Nicole was passed out on her bed: her face was red and swollen; surely it would be bruised, her stomach had the word 'slut' carved into it, and there was a trickle of blood running from her nose.
"Oh, no, no, no," I muttered as I took my two fingers to her neck. A faint pulse met my fingers. I heard the door open behind me.
"Take her. I don't want a whore like her on my hands," her mother spat. "Take her, but know that this is what she is. She's a useless little slut." And with that, her mother left. I heard the front door slam shut, and I knew she wouldn't be back for a while. I took the crumpled, broken angel in my arms and sang into her ear: You're my, you're my, my, my true love. My whole heart. Please don't roll right away...
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A/N: I seriously think this is the best creative writing thing I've ever done. Love it, love it, love it. Please, review?? Oh, and her ringtone: This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race by Fall Out Boy; Ryro writes Nails for Breakfast Tacks for Snacks. And she listens to I'm Only Sleeping on the way home. Oh, and he's singing Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
That perfection ended when her bedazzled sidekick began to ring at around three in the morning, with her mother's ringtone.
This ain't a scene, yeah, it's a goddamn arms race, this ain't a scene, yeah, it's a go-\
"Hello?," she asked, her voice tired, but scared. I heard her mother shout something at my Nicole, my love. "I'm on my way, mother. I'll be there soon," she said as she packed up, pulling on the change of clothes she had brought with her: a long sleeve, neon purple Glamour Kills tee and slashed skinny jeans. "I have to go, babe. I love you," she whimpered. Her voice was obviously scared, and I was scared for her. I took her hands and carefully placed them onto my waist while kissing her passionately.
"I love you, too. So damn much, it hurts," I said, my lips on the top of her dainty head. "And I never want to loose you. Please, promise me you'll come back tomorrow."
"If I can, I will. I promise," she replied before giving me a quick peck on the neck and leaving, slamming the door behind her.
For the rest of the night, I was sprawled across my bed; sleep simply wouldn't come. Nicole had got me thinking about my dad, and his struggle with the bottle. Something compelled me to write something about it; maybe Panic! could turn it into a song? So I grabbed the blue notebook I kept on my nightstand and started writing.
Watch your mouth,
Your speech is slurred enough,
that you might swallow your tongue...
________________________________________________________(Nicole's POV in this next insert)______
I pulled into my apartment complex's parking lot, The Beatles crooning about how they were only sleeping. I knew she was home, and I knew she was angry. My stomach filled with dread as I turned off my car and climbed the stairs to apartment 326 on the third floor. I unlocked the door tentatively to be greeted by my short, stout, fifty six year old mother.
"Where were you?!," she demanded.
"I-I was at Kaylie's," I stuttered. Kaylie was my girl best friend, and my mother loved her. Kaylie also knew about what my mother did to me, and she knew to cover my ass, if need be.
"We'll just see about that!," she screamed. She pulled out her old flip phone and dialed the number to Kaylie's house. See, Kaylie's mother was rarely home, and her brother was rarely sober, so she was usually the one to answer the phone. I prayed tonight was not an exception. "Oh, hi, Kaylie," my mother cooed, her voice sticky-sweet. "I was just wondering if Nicole was there earlier, dear." I knew Kaylie would say yes, although I hadn't seen her all week; she was suspended for getting a septum ring. "Oh, ok, thank you. Bu-bye, dear," she said. "She said you were. You're lucky, you little whore!," she shouted as her masculine hand hit my face; her wedding ring cut my cheek. She huffed once, as if triumphant, and walked away.
I took this as my cue to sprint into my bathroom, locking the door behind me. The cut hurt, but it wasn't deep. Her hand, however, had left a budding bruise across my already hurt cheek. I sighed as I cleaned the wound. I didn't want Ryan worrying anymore, but he loved me, and I knew that he wanted only the best for me. I knew this wasn't the best, but this is what I had.
_______________________________________________________(Back to Ryan's POV)_____________________
The next day, Panic! practiced in the tiny soundproof space we rented out.
"Hey, guys, I wrote a new song!," I chimed as I walked in. Brendon was hyper, as usual, and Jon was tuning his bass and talking to Spencer.
"Yay, new song, new song, new sssoooonnngggg!," cried Brendon as he ran around in a circle, flapping his arms wildly. We were all used to his childish antics, but we couldn't help but to laugh.
"Like, music and everything?," asked Spencer. His face was lit up like a little boy in the Hot Wheels section of Toys R Us.
"Yes, Spencer. Now, lemme show you guys how to play this..."
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Monday morning, I found her by her hippie van, dressed in a loose, white peasant blouse with a neon pink pair of skinnies, her long hair unstraightened so that it hung in natural loose curls.
"You look beautiful this morning," I said while cupping her face with my hands and kissing her forehead. I slowly moved my lips to hers, deepening our kiss. Her small, pink tongue brushed my patient lips; this was unusual, as I was usually the one to lead our kisses. But none the less, I allowed her entry. I smoothed my tongue over hers, and it was amazing. Before long, Brendon, Spencer, and Jon had walked up behind us; we didn't notice.
"Boo!," shouted Brendon, making both me and Nicole jump. "And so it begins," Brendon said, his arm wrapped around Kaylie's, Nicole's friend's, waist.
"Is my Brenny-Boo jealous?," cooed Kaylie.
"Brenny-Boo? Kaylie...?," said Nicole with a quizzical look.
"Yes, Nicole. I am dating this beautiful girl right here," said Brendon. He then looked down at the tiny, four-foot-eleven girl and kissed the top of her head before picking her up and pressing his full lips to her small ones; her septum ring was resting on his nose.
"Well, this isn't awkward at all," said Jon sarcastically as I turned to kiss Nicole. We didn't hear him as we walked the stairs into the school, sharing ear buds, listening to If I Fell by The Beatles. Our fingers were laced together as I bent down and kissed her with as much passion as I could muster. We were quickly surrounded by cat calls, but we didn't care. I never wanted the moment to end.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
As I walked home from a boring day at school, I pulled out my black, glossy Sidekick and texted Nicole.
Mom home?, I sent.
No, y??
Mayb ull movie in tonite?
Come over + help?
On my way. ily forever
ily till my last breath
I had no idea how close she was to that.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
As I approached her door, something didn't feel right. I don't know why; I guess you could call it a premonition. I knocked on the thick, wooden door, to be greeted by a woman about four foot ten, with tanned skin and long, fake nails. I knew this was her mother.
"Ah, the infamous Ryan. Nicole's in her room," she said coldy. That was weird,I thought. Nicole said she wasn't home. I made my way into her room and gasped. Nicole was passed out on her bed: her face was red and swollen; surely it would be bruised, her stomach had the word 'slut' carved into it, and there was a trickle of blood running from her nose.
"Oh, no, no, no," I muttered as I took my two fingers to her neck. A faint pulse met my fingers. I heard the door open behind me.
"Take her. I don't want a whore like her on my hands," her mother spat. "Take her, but know that this is what she is. She's a useless little slut." And with that, her mother left. I heard the front door slam shut, and I knew she wouldn't be back for a while. I took the crumpled, broken angel in my arms and sang into her ear: You're my, you're my, my, my true love. My whole heart. Please don't roll right away...
________________________________________________________________________________________________
A/N: I seriously think this is the best creative writing thing I've ever done. Love it, love it, love it. Please, review?? Oh, and her ringtone: This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race by Fall Out Boy; Ryro writes Nails for Breakfast Tacks for Snacks. And she listens to I'm Only Sleeping on the way home. Oh, and he's singing Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
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