Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Darkness Of Flashbacks
- A warning to the people, the good and the evil -
May 16th, 2007
Jared woke up a couple of minutes earlier than usual. He stayed in bed and stared up at the white ceiling. His head felt like a huge and heavy brick that was tightly glues to his pillow as he huffed out a mouthful of hot air.
Jared felt a bit ashamed for acting like a jerk towards Madison. She hadn't deserved being treated badly and Jared wasn't a man who acted like an ass without reason. He was just so afraid of flashbacking again, and again, and again... Jared's now long hair tickled his face and annoyed him enormously much. The former rockstar thought how great it'd be if he had access to an electric razor or a pair of scissors, then he could cut his ridiculously long hair and shave off the great amounts of facial hair. But that wouldn't happen in a million years since he was a patient and according to the staff not a very reliable one as well. Not like Jared had ever done anything to harm anyone at Martha's, he was just a question mark and therefor a threat.
The guards, nurses and psychiatrists didn't even let their patients near a sharp object in fear of them hurting themselves or others. That happened after a severely disturbed woman with split personalities killed herself by using a razor blade as a grater. Let's just say that she used her body as a living cheese.
Jared touched his bristly cheeks with the sensitive tips of his fingers and felt the stubble underneath. He wanted the hair gone. Gone somewhere where he couldn't see or feel the roughness of it.
Jared rolled out of bed and entered the small bathroom which belonged to the cell. Or, dorm as the staff so nicely put it. He turned the water on in the moldy shower and turned the heat up to maximum. The clothes were quickly shed from Jared's body who got skinnier for each and every day. He entered the shower and hissed, pleased with the scalding hot water which embraced his naked body. The stench of the filthy sheets went down the rusty drain and made the singer feel a bit lighter. It took great amounts of will-power to resist humming as he suddenly felt a beat that started building up from somewhere in the depth of his whole being.
Suddenly a loud bang startled Jared and brought him out of his bubble of steaming air and water. "Hey, you're going to be late for breakfast!" the voice of Valentino screeched from outside the cell and he slammed his huge fist into the wall. Jared quickly turned off the water and jumped out of the shower. He quickly dried himself with a rough and old towel, got into the red overall and hurried to the door where Valentino let him out. Jared's hair was still dripping wet as he entered the canteen just before the rest of the patients. Jared put some milk and a plate with yogurt on his tray and walked to his favorite seat in the whole canteen. A bench in the far corner, placed in the shadows, of the canteen. A place where Jared could eat alone and in peace.
He put the first spoon of the smooth substance in his mouth and sucked it down contently. Then the familiar darkness arrived. Jared leaned his head to the side against the wall and sighed.
July 11th, 2000"
Aren't you going to call her?" Shannon asked his little brother and grinned. Jared turned to face his older brother with a glass of milk in his hand and shook his head slowly. Shannon gasped and jumped down off of the counter, which he sat on, and grabbed his brothers shoulders and shook him roughly. Jared spilled almost half of the glass onto his own shirt and on the wooden floor. "What the fuck are you doing Shan? Are you going nuts for real?" Jared spat and frowned. Shannon sighed loudly and dramatically. "No, you're the one who is going insane! Why aren't you going to call her?" The older brother screeched.
"Just... because." Jared answered and pouted childishly. "'Because' isn't an answer and you know it." Shannon growled. Jared removed his brothers hands from his body and walked over to the counter to grab some paper to clean up the milky mess with.
"Fine, I don't want her to think that I'm clingy or anything." Jared said quietly as he sat down on the floor and mopped up the spilled milk. Shannon suddenly started laughing out loud. He raced down the hall and grabbed Jared's phone and then raced back into the kitchen again, jumping over small obstacles as scattered shoes and guitars. "Here. Call her." Shannon ordered and practically shoved the phone into Jared's hand.
"Are you deaf or didn't you hear what I just said?" Jared asked, a bit annoyed with his older brother. But he still held on to the phone with his clenched hand. Shannon raised his hands up into the sky. "I heard you bro." he answered. Jared opened his mouth to scold his brother but got cut off. "Just call her. She won't think that you're clingy at all. She was all over you yesterday, and plus, she also gave you her number." Shannon continued and grinned.
Jared reluctantly smiled. "No shit?" he said. "No shit." Shannon replied. The younger brother inhaled deeply and dialed the number and put the phone to his ear.
"Hey... Is this Yolanda? Really? Great... Well, I wondered if you would like to go out tomorrow night?"
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Jared snapped back to reality and exhaled sharply. He was alone in the canteen and it was time for his session with Madison. Jared rushed down the hall to the therapy room and hurried inside the room. Without looking up he sank down into the same old chair.
Then he looked up to see something he didn't expect. An old woman with grey hair and huge glasses who looked extremely strict and up-tight.
"Hello Mr Leto. I'm Micha and I'm going to be your psychiatrist from now on." she said and opened a thick file which laid on her table. Jared could read his name on the file. "Madison couldn't handle the pressure. And as I can see..." she opened the file and scanned it quickly. "she hasn't made much progress with you. She's not the one to blame though, she is young, dumb and inexperienced..."
May 16th, 2007
Jared woke up a couple of minutes earlier than usual. He stayed in bed and stared up at the white ceiling. His head felt like a huge and heavy brick that was tightly glues to his pillow as he huffed out a mouthful of hot air.
Jared felt a bit ashamed for acting like a jerk towards Madison. She hadn't deserved being treated badly and Jared wasn't a man who acted like an ass without reason. He was just so afraid of flashbacking again, and again, and again... Jared's now long hair tickled his face and annoyed him enormously much. The former rockstar thought how great it'd be if he had access to an electric razor or a pair of scissors, then he could cut his ridiculously long hair and shave off the great amounts of facial hair. But that wouldn't happen in a million years since he was a patient and according to the staff not a very reliable one as well. Not like Jared had ever done anything to harm anyone at Martha's, he was just a question mark and therefor a threat.
The guards, nurses and psychiatrists didn't even let their patients near a sharp object in fear of them hurting themselves or others. That happened after a severely disturbed woman with split personalities killed herself by using a razor blade as a grater. Let's just say that she used her body as a living cheese.
Jared touched his bristly cheeks with the sensitive tips of his fingers and felt the stubble underneath. He wanted the hair gone. Gone somewhere where he couldn't see or feel the roughness of it.
Jared rolled out of bed and entered the small bathroom which belonged to the cell. Or, dorm as the staff so nicely put it. He turned the water on in the moldy shower and turned the heat up to maximum. The clothes were quickly shed from Jared's body who got skinnier for each and every day. He entered the shower and hissed, pleased with the scalding hot water which embraced his naked body. The stench of the filthy sheets went down the rusty drain and made the singer feel a bit lighter. It took great amounts of will-power to resist humming as he suddenly felt a beat that started building up from somewhere in the depth of his whole being.
Suddenly a loud bang startled Jared and brought him out of his bubble of steaming air and water. "Hey, you're going to be late for breakfast!" the voice of Valentino screeched from outside the cell and he slammed his huge fist into the wall. Jared quickly turned off the water and jumped out of the shower. He quickly dried himself with a rough and old towel, got into the red overall and hurried to the door where Valentino let him out. Jared's hair was still dripping wet as he entered the canteen just before the rest of the patients. Jared put some milk and a plate with yogurt on his tray and walked to his favorite seat in the whole canteen. A bench in the far corner, placed in the shadows, of the canteen. A place where Jared could eat alone and in peace.
He put the first spoon of the smooth substance in his mouth and sucked it down contently. Then the familiar darkness arrived. Jared leaned his head to the side against the wall and sighed.
July 11th, 2000"
Aren't you going to call her?" Shannon asked his little brother and grinned. Jared turned to face his older brother with a glass of milk in his hand and shook his head slowly. Shannon gasped and jumped down off of the counter, which he sat on, and grabbed his brothers shoulders and shook him roughly. Jared spilled almost half of the glass onto his own shirt and on the wooden floor. "What the fuck are you doing Shan? Are you going nuts for real?" Jared spat and frowned. Shannon sighed loudly and dramatically. "No, you're the one who is going insane! Why aren't you going to call her?" The older brother screeched.
"Just... because." Jared answered and pouted childishly. "'Because' isn't an answer and you know it." Shannon growled. Jared removed his brothers hands from his body and walked over to the counter to grab some paper to clean up the milky mess with.
"Fine, I don't want her to think that I'm clingy or anything." Jared said quietly as he sat down on the floor and mopped up the spilled milk. Shannon suddenly started laughing out loud. He raced down the hall and grabbed Jared's phone and then raced back into the kitchen again, jumping over small obstacles as scattered shoes and guitars. "Here. Call her." Shannon ordered and practically shoved the phone into Jared's hand.
"Are you deaf or didn't you hear what I just said?" Jared asked, a bit annoyed with his older brother. But he still held on to the phone with his clenched hand. Shannon raised his hands up into the sky. "I heard you bro." he answered. Jared opened his mouth to scold his brother but got cut off. "Just call her. She won't think that you're clingy at all. She was all over you yesterday, and plus, she also gave you her number." Shannon continued and grinned.
Jared reluctantly smiled. "No shit?" he said. "No shit." Shannon replied. The younger brother inhaled deeply and dialed the number and put the phone to his ear.
"Hey... Is this Yolanda? Really? Great... Well, I wondered if you would like to go out tomorrow night?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jared snapped back to reality and exhaled sharply. He was alone in the canteen and it was time for his session with Madison. Jared rushed down the hall to the therapy room and hurried inside the room. Without looking up he sank down into the same old chair.
Then he looked up to see something he didn't expect. An old woman with grey hair and huge glasses who looked extremely strict and up-tight.
"Hello Mr Leto. I'm Micha and I'm going to be your psychiatrist from now on." she said and opened a thick file which laid on her table. Jared could read his name on the file. "Madison couldn't handle the pressure. And as I can see..." she opened the file and scanned it quickly. "she hasn't made much progress with you. She's not the one to blame though, she is young, dumb and inexperienced..."
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