FicWad

Gerard and I sat down on the couch, leaving no space between each other. My knuckles were swollen and had dried blood on them. Gerard looked down at them and back at me. I suddenly became lost in his hazel eyes, we have the same color eyes, but his were different somehow. He smiled that dark smile. It was a good kind of dark though, it was the ray of light in my world, that is surrounded by darkness. Every time I saw it, I got once feeling from it, hope. This was the man that had saved my life while I was almost going to splatter my brains across the bathtub. That night, he took me to my room and sang me to sleep. This is the man that I love, but my love for him shouldn’t be there. Why do I feel this way about him? My thoughts were interrupted but the tap tap tap of Grandma’s shoe.
“Tell me everything that has been going on, and don’t tell me nothing has been going on. I know something has been. I don’t like secrets.” Elena sounded mad, I could tell in her ice blue eyes she was. Her lips were a thin line, it reminded me of Mom. I almost cried thinking this.
“I don’t know what you are talking about Grandma. I really don’t” Gerard lied to her. She was too smart
“What is going on with Bert? What is going on with Mikey? I know something wrong was with Mikey. You’re father’s gun had finger prints on it. Mikey, what happened?” Grandma looked at me, her blue eyes full of sorrow. This was going to hurt her so much, the truth. She is not going to trust me by myself for awhile.
“Grandma, I tired to commit suicide a while ago, after Mom and Dad….were kil…when they left us.” I couldn’t bring myself to say killed or died. “Gerard talked me out of it though, he helped me so much Grandma, he really did.” I told her, I could feel the tears around my eyes as I told her this.
She looked in shock, she blue eyes seemed to be bathed in different emotions to the point where I couldn’t read them. Even Gerard, who could read emotions so easily, had trouble telling what Grandma was feeling. But when she spoke, she voice shook with sadness. “Mikey, why didn’t you tell me that you were feeling this way? You know you can trust me.” When she said the last part, Elena sounded hurt.
It was after that Gerard and I felt bad about keeping this from her. We told her everything. About me drinking and cutting. About that night Gerard helped me, and about Gerard’s relationship with Bert and why I did what I did. She took it all in, and was silent long after we were done telling her. She was letting it soak in.
“Well, I don’t want anymore secrets in this house. We are a family and we shouldn’t have to hide things from each other! I love you boys so much, I want nothing bad to happen to you two, you are all I have from Kelly and John. You boys mean the world to me. No more secrets, okay?” Grandma informed us.



(2 months later)
We have been together for one month now. I was happy with him, extremely. And even though where we lived, people were opposed to our love, we still held hands. I walked to his locker so we walk home together. “Hey baby” I said, I could hear my own beam in my voice. He really made me happy.
“Hey honey” Frank said, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Yeah, I know it isn’t Gerard, but I still like Frank. He was so welcoming. I feel like I could tell him anything, and he would still be by my side. Even though he had a crush on my sibling, he told me he loved me more.
We walked hand and hand and we were met by the normal cat calls of “faggots” “fucks” “emos” and “worthless scum”. Oh, how I love those. Those welcoming words from the rednecks that live in our town. We walked up to my door and stopped.
“I have to go home tonight, my mom is in need of help with the babies.” Frank laughed, oh how I loved his laugh.
“Okay, see you later then.” I smiled, as the setting sun hit my face. Frank moved closer to me. “What are yo…” I was silenced with Frank’s lips. I have never kissed anyone before. I liked it, I liked it a lot. His lips were hard and chapped, but I like it for some reason. He parted my lips with his, he put his arms around my neck and I put mine around his waist. We stayed like this for I don’t know how long. But, while I was kissing him, time seemed to stop. The whole world seemed to disappear. I loved it, and it made me love Frank even more. When he pulled back, Frank was smiling. The sun shone on his face, making his eyes light up.
“I’ll see you tomorrow baby” He said and he kissed me on the cheek. He walked in the direction of his house. I stood there for a few minutes and walked in the house. I heard Gerard singing, most likely a song he wrote. I walked upstairs and right as I was about to enter my room, my elder brother called me in to his room.
“What is it?” I asked, I looked at him. He looked worried.
Gerard responded “Mikey, I…oh god, you’re gonna hate me for this. Mikes, I have something really important to tell you.”