FicWad

Oh, where to start? There were so many things I wanted to know about Natasha and Lucius. I wanted to know when they had gotten together, how they had gotten along, why Natasha got pregnant, and whether or not they had ever had sex. Of course, I couldn't just blurt all these questions out though. I had to be careful what I asked Lucius so he didn't clam up on me.

Considering all my options, I opted to start at the beginning with, "How did you meet Natasha?" It was the simplest question and would definitely end up leading to all my other questions. Besides, I wanted to hear Natasha and Lucius' story from the very beginning. I wanted to know everything about Lucius.

Sighing, Lucius thought for a moment before he answered, "Natasha and I met just like you and me did. I met her during my first year at Hogwarts. You see, Natasha is one year older than you." I thought Lucius was going to stop there, but he continued onwards, "We got along really well at first. She was the first one to talk to me. We chit chatted for a while and became good friends. Before long though, it wasn't just friendship Natasha wanted. All she wanted to do was make out and go farther."

I raised my eyebrows curiously. What I really wanted to know right now was whether or not Lucius went ahead and "went farther" with her or not. Unfortunately, Lucius didn't answer this question. He did go on though, "Natasha is really just a bitch. I loved her at one time. I really did. She was sweet to me at times, gave me what I wanted, and was a good friend and someone to talk to. Turns out I misplaced my love on a hoe." Lucius' eyebrows knotted together and his eyes went dark.

I kind of sat in silence and gazed at him with wide eyes. I was surprised Lucius had gone far enough to actually call Natasha a hoe! Of course, my busy brain was already wondering why Natasha was a hoe. Lucius seemed kind of lost in thought, so I dared to prod him onwards, "So...um...what makes Natasha a hoe?"

Jerking out of what must've been painful memories, Lucius looked up at me with saddened eyes. Bitterness filling his voice, he told me, "There was one night when Natasha wanted me to go all the way with her. I told her no. That was the first time we ever got into a really big argument. Before then, I had given the bitch everything she wanted. When I refused her, she got pissed. Really, really pissed. She yelled at me, told me I was just a little fuck, and that she wished I'd go to hell."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I burst out sympathetically. It totally fit Natasha's personality to be so nasty, but I was still shocked by her red hot temper. Nobody should ever dare tell Lucius to go to hell. Natasha was the one who was going to go straight to hell. Lucius was an angel sent from heaven to lighten even the darkest days.

Lucius gave me the smallest smile and said, "It's alright. I'm over her now." Lucius took a sip of the fire whiskey and then went on, "That's not the end of the story yet. After that night when Natasha got so angry with me, she went and slept with Rabastan instead. That's how she got pregnant. Unfortunately, most people believe I was the one who got her pregnant. It's a ver embarrassing misconception. There's not much I can do about it though."

Natasha had actually slept with Rabastan just to get back at Lucius? How awful was that? I couldn't believe the girl's nerve. I would never go sleeping with someone else just for vegence. That was just plain stupidity. Wanting to know what had happened to Natasha and Rabastan, I questioned, "So what happened next? You know, with Natasha's baby?"

"Oh that," Lucius said, rolling his eyes. "Well, not surprisingly, Natasha tried to get back with me as soon as she figured out she was pregnant. She wanted me to pretend to be the father of the child. After all, she didn't really have anything going with Rabastan. Besides, Rabastan didn't want anything more than a one-night stand with her anyways. He refused to have anything to do with her child. That's why Natasha turned to me. I refused her though. I won't ever forgive her for how bad she hurt me..."

I wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or not, but I swear I could see Lucius' eyes glisten slightly. I could tell that Natasha had hurt him very badly. He had trusted her, loved her, and had given her his trust. In return, Natasha had slapped him in the face by sleeping with Rabastan and getting pregnant just because Lucius wouldn't obey every single one of her demands.

I felt so horrible for Lucius. I wanted to comfort him somehow, but I just didn't know what to do. Comforting people wasn't one of my biggest skills. Still, I wanted to do something though, so I reached out and put a hand on his arm, "I'm sorry, Lucius. I really am. Natasha never ever deserved you. I hope someday you will find a girl who does-"

"No, Narcissa," Lucius cut off my sentence with a sharp look, "We've been over this before." We had? I didn't remember that. So in response, I gave him an inquiring look. Giving me a tired look, Lucius replied, "Yes, we have indeed been over this! Remember me telling you that I wasn't ever going to get into any other relationships? My goal in life is just to serve the Dark Lord."

I tilted my head at Lucius in puzzlement. I couldn't see why in the world he would want his life's goal to be to serve Tom. Don't shoot me for saying this, but I hated Tom. I thought he was evil, vile, and merciless. Who would want to spend their life doing his wicked deeds? And who would want to go through their entire life without love?

I couldn't imagine a life without love. All my life, I had daydreamed about growing up, falling in love, getting married, having kids, and making a loving, close-knit family for myself. Companionship and love was what I had always wanted most in life. Perhaps this was because I was neglected by my mother and for the most part, by my sister as well.

"But Lucius," I couldn't help but protest, "What kind of life is that? Don't you want a family? Don't you want a wife and kids? Don't you want to learn to trust again?" I knew I was blabbing and asking way too many questions, but I couldn't help it. They just seemed to tumble out of my mouth without me being able to stop them.

Lucius gave me a sad little smile and said, "You can't trust anyone, Narcissa. They can turn their back on you at any moment. It would be nice to believe in the concept of trust, but in reality, it's nothing more than a mere fantasy. And as for a wife and all that, don't you think we're a bit young to be discussing this? Are you one of those people who believes in destiny and fate?"

I paused and thought about this for a few minutes. Did I believe in fate and destiny? I decided I did. As a matter of fact, I thought it was destiny that had brought Lucius and me together. I also thought that it was fate for us to end up together. Hoping Lucius might be thinking this way as well, I nodded, "Yes, I do believe in it. And you?"

"I do," Lucius nodded seriously. Hoping he was thinking that we were destined for each other, I gave him a little smile. My smile didn't last long though. Lucius continued, "I believe it was destiny for me to go through this experience with Natasha. It helped me to learn that trust doesn't exist and that I'll be happier in life with one sole purpose; serving the Dark Lord."

Oh shit, that was not what I was hoping to hear from Lucius! Feeling kind of crushed, I looked at the ground and gave one last attempt at trying to convince Lucius that the life he was living was not for the best after all, "But are you happy now? You seem sad. You seem lonely too. Don't you think that maybe you'd be happier if you gave someone else a try? Not everyone is like Natasha, you know. There are girls out there who wouldn't try and push you into things..."

I let my sentence trail off, knowing I was yammering. Suddenly, I was aware that Lucius had taken my hand in his. My fingertips tingled from the warm touch of his hand. Praying I wasn't imagining all this, I took a nervous glance towards Lucius' face to see what I could read there. In Lucius' face, I saw years of suppressed pain, anguish, and just a tad bit of hope.

Hope. It was a beautiful word. Hope was what made the world go round and what made life worth living. What was Lucius hoping for? Did he hope that he could trust another girl? Did he hope that she would treat him right? Did he wish to give me a chance? He wouldn't be disappointed if he did. I was so much different than Natasha.

Natasha was pushy, forward, and the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts in my opinion. I, on the other hand, was typically quiet, shy, and not-so-pretty. I wondered how much beauty mattered to Lucius. Was it why he had chosen Natasha to be his first girlfriend? Needing to know this, I asked quietly, "Did you love Natasha because she was beautiful?"

Meeting my eyes, Lucius shook his head, "Not completely. I mean, every guy would like a girl that's pretty. But seriously, what good is the most gorgeous girl in the world if she's a liar? What matters most is loyalty. Without loyalty and trust, there is nothing. That is why relationships never work out. Trust doesn't exist."

I bit my lip on frowned. Why couldn't I get Lucius to believe in trust? I believed in it. I trusted some people. I trusted my mother, Bellatrix, and the teachers at Hogwarts. Sure, maybe Natasha wasn't trustworthy, but there were other people out there (including me) that could be trusted. Couldn't Lucius just give me one little chance?

Trying to figure out a way to convey my thoughts to Lucius, I leaned closer across the table to him and whispered, "But Lucius, what if there was someone out there willing to do whatever you wanted? What if there was someone who was your perfect match? Wouldn't you want to find her and give her a chance?"

Taking a long sip of the fire whiskey, Lucius thought this through and shook his head, "Narcissa, nobody wants to do whatever I want. I've learned that a long time ago." At Lucius' sentence, I immediately shook my head back and forth and protested, "That's not true! I'd do whatever you'd want. I'd be your slave. Please, Lucius? Please?"

Lucius had a strained expression on his face. I had a feeling that there was an intense battle going on in his brain. After a long, tense moment of thinking, Lucius leaned forward and cupped my chin in his hands so we were merely inches apart. I looked up into longing gray eyes and the face of an angel.

"You're beautiful, Cissa. You really are," Lucius admitted in a husky voice. He tucked a strand of hair that had fallen in my face behind one ear. I didn't dare breathe as his hands brushed over the side of my face. Leaning even closer to me so that we were now centimeters apart, Lucius continued, "It's just that...I..."

"Hello Lucius, thanks for keeping an eye on Narcissa," a cold, rigid voice broke the silence. Lucius and I practically flew apart and both blushed tomato red. Shit! Why in the world did Tom have to interrupt us right at that moment? I wanted to know what Lucius had been going to say so badly. Was there a chance he would've said yes to me? Unfortunately, I would never know now.

Feeling frustrated, I sighed and felt like slapping Tom in the face or telling him to go the fuck away. Of course, I knew way better than to actually say that though. Tom would probably kill me for real if I said any of that aloud. Just as I was thinking this, Tom's eyes turned straight towards me and seemed to see straight to my heart. His eyes narrowed and I saw his fingertips tighten around his wand. Wondering if he somehow knew what I was thinking, I instantly tensed up and stood up in an attempt to get away from him.

Luckily, Bellatrix, totally unaware of the tension, piped up, "Come along now, Cissy. You and I have to get our dresses before it gets too late. We don't want to make mother mad!" Turning to Tom, she flung her arms around him in a unrepressed hug and whispered in his ear, "Thanks for such a wonderful afternoon. I'll see you on Monday, alright?"

As Tom and Bella hugged, Lucius and I just kind of faced each other awkwardly. I wanted to hug Lucius and be held in his arms more than anything. Just imagining being wrapped in his arms sent a shiver of excitement though me. However, I knew keep inside that this was not the place for our first hug (would there ever be a hug between us?).

So instead, I awkwardly held out a hand for Lucius to shake. Giving me a little sideways smile, Lucius stretched out a hand and shook mine, "See you at school." I merely nodded. I couldn't speak when I felt Tom's gaze on me. Tom seemed to suck the words from my lips and steal the strength from my body.

Lucius and I broke the handshake and I quickly retreated to Bellatrix's side. Bella waved at Tom and Lucius before grabbing my forearm and tugging me along out of the Three Broomsticks and into the street. Wondering how her afternoon was, I asked curiously, "So what have you been up to? Did you have a nice time?"

Bella gave me a look like I was crazy, "Hell yeah, of course I had a nice time. Tom is so wonderful." Bella's eyes glazed over with happiness as she thought about Tom. To be honest, it really disgusted me. I mean, I totally get that Tom is nice to her, but Tom was just so evil to me! I couldn't see anything good in the man. As time went on, he would continue to lose respect in my eyes.