FicWad

I pushed into the dormitory and barely made it to my bed. My legs were threatening to give out underneath me at any moment and my lip was quivering violently. As soon as I collapsed onto the bed, I dissolved into a fountain of tears. They fell hard and fast, dripping down my face and making little puddles and wet spots on the sheets.

As I cried, I heard the door to the dormitory open back up. Laughing voices and footsteps sounded as the door was shut once more and the girls entered. I shut myself off from the laughter. Laughing was the very last thing I wanted to do right now. I didn't understand how anyone could possible want to laugh after seeing that little boy being tortured to his death.

I had closed myself off from everything so completely that I jumped in shock when I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a voice in my ear, "Hey Cissy...are you alright?" Alright? How the hell could I be alright? Did I look alright? Anger flashed throughout me and started burning a hole in my heart. I looked up to see who the inquisitor was. It was dear Bellatrix.

Normally, I would've looked for Bella's comfort. I would've wanted her to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. Not today though. Today, the anger raging inside of me was directed right at Bella. After all, she had been the one who had helped Tom get that little boy in the castle. If it weren't for her, then maybe that poor child would be home in his mother's arms right now.

Turning angry, watery eyes up to Bella, I snapped, "How the hell can I be alright, Bella? It doesn't matter how I feel though. I should be grateful to still be alive. But I have to ask you something. Are you alright? I think you're turning sick in the mind." My words were mean, but I didn't regret them. They were one hundred percent true. Torturing and mocking an innocent being to the death definitely was something that took a sick mind.

Bella looked at me with shock for a few, long moments. I had never really turned against her like this before. I had always accepted everything she had done as good and right. My mom always thought she made the best decisions. I trusted my mom and therefore, I trusted Bellatrix. Only now was I starting to realize that Bella was not who I thought she was.

Finally, after the tense silence, Bella cocked her head at me and asked, "What do you mean, Narcissa?" Here eyes were black and she didn't resemble my sister. Instead, she looked like a stranger that Tom had turned my sister into. I noticed that she called me "Narcissa" instead of "Cissy". She only called me Narcissa if she was really angry or very serious.

Deciding to tell her exactly what I meant, I fixed her with an evil stare and replied, "That was sick, Bella. Really, really sick. I can't believe you helped Tom get a little kid into the castle so you could watch him die before your eyes. That was beyong evil and you looked...you looked like you actually enjoyed the kid being murdered!"

Bella's eyes flashed and I noticed her hand going to her wand. I stared at her in shock. Would she actually consider hexing her very own sister? The anger instantly vanished and was replaced by fear. Bella was far more powerful than me and could hurt me very badly if she wanted. I had just experienced her ruthlessness moments before.

Luckily, before Bella could do anything too awful to me, footsteps came thundering down the walkway. Not sure who they belonged to, Bella gave me a funny look and then quickly retreating to her bed without replying to my last statement. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe I didn't really want to know what it was that Bella would've said (or done) to me in response.

As I sat wiping the tears from my face, I looked up to see who was thundering down the isle between the two rows of beds. A figure whizzed by me and towards the bathroom. I barely had time to make her out as she flew past my bed. However, by the dull hair and slim figure, I knew it was Natasha. I really did feel sorry for her today. I didn't know if she was sick or what the deal was, but I did know that I could relate better to her than my sister who had gone from bad to worse.

~ ~ ~ ~

The next day was awful. Bella was angry at me. I knew that from the moment when I woke up and saw the sun shining in through the windows. That was always a bad sign. Usually, the sun didn't even come up until classes started. We were always up and getting ready for the day when it was still dark outside.

Bella usually woke me up, but today, she had not. Yup, she was definitely pissed off at me from last night. I was pretty pissed now too. Jumping out of bed, I took a look at the clock ticking noisily from my nightstand. Oh god, I had only ten minutes before Transfiguration started. How the fuck was I going to make it to Transfiguration in such a short amount of time?

Knowing that standing around and thinking about this wasn't going to help me out, I stripped down quickly and yanked a simple black dress on before tugging my robes on over it. All the while, I was thinking about how to get revenge on Bella. I mean seriously, how dare she try to make me late for class? Damn her.

Before running off to Transfiguration, I took a quick look in the mirror. Shit, I looked pretty awful. My eyes were still bleary, there was not a hint of makeup on my too pale face, and I looked and felt very weak. I felt pretty sick too. Something just didn't seem right inside of me. Something was off and just plain wrong. Too bad I couldn't figure out what it was.

Sighing at not having time to do my hair and makeup, I sped out of the dormitory and towards Transfiguration. On the way, my stomach rumbled loudly. Okay, I would admit that I was hungry. It had been a while since I had eaten. Plus, there was a spasm of pain coming from right below my heart. Running my hands over the spot, I could feel bones from my rib cage protruding there.

Was boniness attactive? I still hadn't figured out the answer to that question and I certainly wasn't going to be asking Bellatrix about it right now. As I ran down the hall, my breathing became labored and I felt like I was going to faint. Deciding that it was better to be a bit late for class versus fainting, I slowed down just a bit and caught my breath before I reached the Transfiguration classroom. As soon as I was there, I pushed the door open with a lot of effort and stumbled inside.

Almost immediately, all the eyes in the room turned towards me. Blushing, I ignored the stares and turned sincerely towards Professor McGonagall as I gave her an apologize between gasps for breath, "Sorry about being late. My sister usually wakes me up, but apparently she forgot about me this morning." I said that all in a resentful tone. I was still really pissed off at Bella.

From the front of the classroom, the Professor gave me a funny look from over the tops of her spectacles. In her rigid voice, she called out, "Speak up just a bit, Narcissa. I can't hear a word you're saying." I stopped and got my breath back before repeating everything I had just said in a slower, more comprehensive tone.

"Ah," Professor McGonagall said when I was done with a short nod of her head. "I see. I won't give you detention or anything, but I would suggest on relying on your sister as your alarm clock. I'm sure you can figure out how to set one yourself. Now please take the remaining seat at the back of the room, dear. We've been talking about transfiguring plants into objects."

Very grateful not to have gotten detention, I hurried to the back of the classroom and looked for the remaining seat. Not bothering to see who was sitting next to me, I sank into the chair and dumped my books onto the desk with a thud. As I tried to find the right chapter for the lesson we were working on today, I felt eyes on me.

Do people always seem to be staring at me or am I just really paranoid? I turned my head to the side to see who I was sitting next to. Oh shit, it was Walden. He was staring at me with evil, glittering eyes. His eyes seemed to cut underneath my heavy robes so he could see right down to the core of my being. Walden didn't seem to be scared of paying attention to me when Lucius wasn't around. He feared Lucius because Lucius was quite powerful compared to himself. But me? I was just a little first-year who still hadn't really learned any useful spells except for the Cruciatus Curse which I refused to learn.

As McGonagall started lecturing on lesson five, I did my best to pay attention. However, even though I was putting effort into trying to learn what she was saying, most of my attention seemed to be on Walden. Walden was still giving me a creepy look from next to me. I attempted moving my desk over slightly to the right. All that did was cause a nice, loud squeaking noise and gave me a reprimanding look from the Professor. There seemed to be no escaping Walden.

The class seemed to last an eternity. I didn't think it would ever end. Finally, when there was only five minutes left, Walden leaned over to talk to me. My blood instantly ran cold and started hammering loudly in my chest. Walden gave me a smirk and hissed sadistically, "You think Lucius will protect you, hm? I'm sorry, but you've got a lot to learn, Cissy. Nobody refuses me and I mean absolutely no one. Run and hide all you want, but in the end, I will have you."

I knew those were just empty words. Walden was only trying to threaten me. So why did those words chill me to the bone and cause me to start hyperventilating? Actually, I was doing more than hyperventilating at the moment. Everything was starting to spin. Walden's face blurred before my eyes and became disfigured. The whole ground started shaking underneath my feet and I felt like I was being pitched around in a raging storm.

I tried to figure out what was going on and escape the storm. Nevertheless, no matter how hard I fought, the waves kept pushing me down into the blackness of the sea below. I kept fighting, but to no avail. My breath was gone, taken away from the frigid water and I was falling down, down, down...

~ ~ ~ ~

"Is she going to be alright?" a voice from what seemed like miles away cut into my brain. Another voice answered the first voice, "Yes, she'll be fine. She just needs her rest, that's all." Both of the voices were female. One was strict and strong while the other one was caring and comforting. I recognized both voices, but it took me a few minutes to figure out who the people were.

Finally, after racking my slow brain, I recognized the first voice as Professor McGonagall. The second voice belonged to Madam Pomfrey, the nurse. Hm, that was strange. I rarely saw Madam Pomfrey. I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing here. But now that I'm thinking about it, where exactly is "here" anyways?

With quite a bit of effort, I somehow managed to get one heavy eyelid to open. Peering around, I can see that I'm definitely no longer in the Transfiguration classroom. So what exactly had happened and where was I now? All I remembered was sitting in McGonagall's class and trying to pay attention to the lesson.

But oh, now I remembered more. Walden had been sitting next to me. He had threatened me and then there had been that storm that had dragged me under. Now it was starting to make sense. I must've fainted. Great. It figured that I would be so weak that I would end up fainting. Why did the bad things always seem to happen to me?

Footsteps sounded from the doorway and I watched with one sleepy eye as McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey left the room. I was glad that they had left. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a little bit. I was really starting to think that I had to do something about Walden. He was going too far. As long as he was at Hogwarts, I could never fully relax.

The only question was: how exactly was I suppose to get rid of Walden? I wasn't cruel; I didn't want him dead. He did bother me though. His assault on me from only a few weeks ago had left me scarred for life. I would never feel the same way about guys and I certainly would never give my trust and my body away easily...

As I was thinking all this, a voice suddenly met my ears, "Narcissa? Are you awake?"