FicWad

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the material or characters mentioned in Rurouni Kenshin.


Tranquility
First Chapter

Friends

"Terrible," The ex-street fighter muttered after he took a bite out of it, "This fish is terrible."

Overlooking the fact that he continued to eat it, Sanosuke turned and looked the owner of the dojo directly in the face, "Even I can do better than this. How can both of you stand this crap?" He asked, questioning the two next to him.

Her student said nothing as he endured the taste because of his hunger but Kenshin lowered his unfinished fish from his mouth in order to speak, "It's not as bad as you say it is. Miss Kaoru's cooking has a... unique taste to it."

"Unique? It's just plain garbage."

Yakiho laughed as his teacher started to throw things at Sanosuke who used Kenshin as a human shield. The sticks and half eaten fish bashed into the wandering swordsman as she continued to have her tantrum.

It was amusing.

Everyone was having fun. From the recently met fighter who grinned as he dodged the stuff Kaoru threw to the former pickpocket who snickered as the items bounced off the swordsman, it looked like they were openly enjoying themselves in light of such a beautiful day.

Everyone except me of course...

I could neither taste nor smell her cooking so I had no clear opinion of it and, even if I did, I wouldn't be able to voice it thanks to the simple fact that no one could hear me. I tried to ignore the fact that I couldn't share this experience with him but, as his laughter reached my ears, I was forced to accept the fact that I couldn't.

Watching him laugh was just enough... Knowing that he was happy made me happy even if I had no part in drawing out the smile that adorned his face.

Looking at the man I loved laugh with the joy of life made me wonder if, and not for the first time, I was really happy? Every since he encountered this girl, he was changing little by little despite the fact that he was almost a different person when he met her in the first place.

He used to hold my scarf at all times no matter the season but, now, he had it secretly tucked away like a key to a diary that he didn't want anyone to read. The sad eyes that used to stare at the sharp edge of his bloody sword were now warmer than ever before and the downcast expression that used to be summoned to his face every time someone mentioned their wife was replaced with a sense of peacefulness that seemed to be wrapped around him like a cloth.

Still, every time he looked at his reflection, be it in a mirror or a body of water, his eyes would narrow in remembrance when he looked at the scar left on his face. It was then that only I was on his mind but it was also then that he didn't smile or laugh like he was doing now.

Yes, I was happy but at the same time I wasn't...

Again, I was forced to accept the wall of reality between us.

He was moving on with his life because he was still alive and I was, as far as he knew, very much dead. I was more than happy to see that he was still able to laugh and make friends but why couldn't he smile at my memory?

To this day, I only caused him pain and I was too selfish to just let him be...

As I watched them play, I briefly wondered if it would be like this if I was still alive. Instead of laughing with people that he only knew for a few months, would he be laughing with me and our children? Would he be hiding the sword that brought him so much trouble instead of my scarf that brought him so much anguish?

No... I shouldn't be thinking of things like that now. I should be enjoying the sight in front of me while I still could.

"Excuse me," A familiar man whispered from outside. Looking closer, I realized that he was the chief of police, "Can I please speak to Himura?"

Alas, even the peaceful day itself came to an end before I got a chance to really experience it.

~*~

Something I knew fully well before I died was that I hated fighting. It was understandable that people couldn't always resolve their differences by speaking to each other, but the solid clang that resulted from the clash of two swords meeting was a sickening sound that only swordsmen could take pleasure in.

The sound of a dull edge crashing into a sharp blade filled the small room as many men laid bleeding thanks to the surprise the swordsman brought with him by crashing into the room through the window.

The man himself was rather... imposing.

He was nearly twice as tall as Kenshin and the black clothing he wore only seemed to make his presence stand out even more in the small room but the thing that bothered me the most about this man was the fact that his eyes were merely white dots in a sea of black.

Looking into those eyes paralyzed me with fear that matched the sense of dread I started to feel as his sword continued to strike Kenshin who gracefull blocked all of his blows.

Watching them fight made me realize I was wrong. What bothered me the most wasn't those eyes but the twisted smile on his face as he attempted to cut down the man I loved.

The former assassin slid backwards and lashed his sword out at the same time Kurogasa brought his blade forward in a horizontal slash. The tip of his blade dug into Kenshin's arm resulting in a small spray of blood and the black hat from which he received his nickname fell from the top of his head in two pieces.

"The Battosai... I didn't expect you as an opponent but," He turned to towards the round man against the wall, "I'm going to complete my mission first!!"

Quickly speeding towards the former patriot, the swordsman held his blade up to pierce his intended victim until a statue nearly fell on top of him, Sanosuke smirked as he watched the work of art fall, "It's too soon for that!"

Jin'eh chuckled as he sword impaled the street fighter's forearm but, before he could even dwell in his amusement, he could hear Kenshin approaching.

"Jin'eh!!"

My heart froze as the man drew another blade and countered his attack. Using his momentum, Kenshin launched himself in the air after their swords met and successfully landed a blow on the crazed assassin causing everyone to be relieved of the daze he put them in.

Seeing that his assassination failed, Jin'eh dashed backwards to the same window he used to enter the room. With a grin plastered on his face, he stared directly at the swordsman who struck him, "This is interesting... My next target will be you, Battosai!"

He laughed as he fell backwards out of the window, "Bring a real sword next time!!"

While nearly everyone around him stared at the window in fear, Kenshin looked on with a distant look in his eyes. Not the happy expression that he had when he was eating earlier or the blank expression he retained when his fingers traced the scar I left on his face... It was simply a look that knew that trouble was ahead.

It was then that I realized that he knew that this was going to happen, that he was going to counter the assassin and then become the target himself. Bravely, he came here knowing that he would be in danger but overlooked that fact in order to prevent anymore people from dying.

From the corner of the room, I watched as the man beside me laid on the floor holding his side where Jin'eh's sword cut deeply into his chest. In obvious pain, he silently allowed his tears to fall as he stifled his pained cried by biting his lip.

I knew that it was important to protect people but he deserved to be selfish more than anyone. He deserved the government positions that he was offered. He deserved to find that peaceful place where he could lay down his sword. He deserved quiet days where he could just hum a happy tune while his new found friends played around him.

That is why I hated weapons.

It was easy to preach that they were for protection but, in the end, they were just the means to harm people. People carried weapons because other people carried weapons and it was as simple as that.

But Kenshin's sword was different.

While swords were sharp objects that only seemed to carry killing intent, his reversed blade only carried his ideals. As foolish as it may seem to carry a dull sword, it perfectly reflected his vow to never kill again.

In spite of my earlier thought, I only liked the sword he carried. In a world were everyone drew a sharp blade, he was the only one who would hold up a blunt one that represented exactly what the girl at the dojo said...

It was simply an illusion to think that one could create peace by fighting so to protect life with a weapon was just as illogical a notion. Still, similar to Kenshin, I preferred her light-hearted words to the truth.

But what was the truth...?

The sound of a surprised gasp drew my attention and ceased my silent reflection. Everyone turned to the round man in the center of the room as he got on the floor and bowed to Kenshin for saving his life.

Modest like always, he quickly shook his head causing his hair to swing behind him, "You don't have to do that... and it was Sanosuke who saved you Tani."

The former patriot didn't move, "B-But you are being targeted by him now. I'm-"

"Don't apologize," Kenshin sheathed his sword and started to walk away as people came in to tend to the wounded, "I was protecting an old friend."

With that said, he quietly made his exit with Sanosuke, who was applying a bandaged to his own wound, lagging not far behind him.

Though he was moving, I did not follow.

I continued to stare at the window from which Jin'eh escaped. This time, instead of looking at the window itself, I looked outside of it at the vast darkness of the night sky. It was a beautiful sight.

From the glowing crescent moon that seemed to hang in the inky darkness to the bright dots that made the sky seem so radiant, it was indeed an amazing view to take in. Even though I tried my best to contain my feelings, the image of those dark eyes still haunted me.

What made me feel even more uneasy was the fact that, sooner or later, more blood was going to be spilled under a magnificent night like this.

~*~

Quietly, he sat at the riverside watching the strong current of the water. With his sword resting on his shoulder, Kenshin simply sat on a log as he waited for his enemy to come.

The sound of approaching footsteps was all that it took for him to reach for his weapon.

However, it was someone he didn't expect.

Kaoru angrily looked the wandering swordsman up and down as she took her time walking towards him. Placing her hands on her hips, she stared him down, "I've finally found you!"

Releasing his sword, he almost had a heart attack when he realized who it was, "M-Miss Kaoru..."

Despite the sudden meeting, I watched from behind as they fell into an awkward silence. With the sound of the gentle wind and the harsh splash of the water making the soft setting easier to pay attention to, I could only focus on how close they were sitting to each other...

It was enough space between them to deter the idea of a relationship to any casual onlooker. Overlooking that, I still felt a pang of envy when she slid a bit closer and it was then that I noticed that what I believed to be an awkward silence was instead a reassuring stillness.

He didn't have to say that he was here for her safety and she didn't have to say that she came here to be with him despite the danger.

The peaceful understanding blended so well with the setting yet it sparked a flame, albeit a small one, of jealously in me. Looking back on it, this wasn't what triggered the flame. It simply provided more fuel to keep it alive.

In the back of my mind, I always had a fear that he would meet the right person and forget about me. Almost like I was cursed, this girl was a manifestation of my nightmare. Unlike me, she was confident, strong, and she had a goal in life...

Her feelings for him were obvious but it was his feelings for her that were a mystery to me.

Kenshin was always an enigma, like a puzzle that I could never quite put together without help. I never really knew what he had on mind unless he voiced or acted on it.

Even now, I didn't know if he hid my scarf because of the season or because of the girl sitting beside him...

"I heard from Sanosuke that you're not coming back," Kaoru raised her head to look at the various leaves and what not that sailed by in the water, "So I'm going to stay right here with you."

"No..." I softly muttered before I could stop myself.

I bared the girl no ill intent but I wanted to keep being selfish. I wanted him to only belong to me. I didn't want to share him with other people. That was right since he was still my husband... even if I wasn't at his side like she was.

It was then that I remembered that I didn't merely leave a wound on his face. The cross shaped scar that made him so easy to identify was more than a reminder of me. It was my attempt to secure him, to bind him to my memory. A twisted delusion it was seeing that I just wanted him to be happy. I honestly wanted to see him laugh with his friends and enjoy the life that I saved but, in the depths of my soul, I wanted to be laughing with him.

"I can't possibly beat Jin'eh if I'm also protecting someone..."

A sudden movement drew my attention and I realized that she was getting up. With a slight tug at the ribbon, her shiny black hair fell to the small of her back, "Here."

Kenshin looked up in confusion as she handed him the indigo ribbon, "Oh no, I can's possibly accept your-"

"It's alright! Just take it!" Kaoru shouted before she placed it in his hands, "It's my favorite ribbon... I'm only lending it to you so, if you leave, I'll never forgive you."

The slight confusion in his eyes gave way to the cheerful look they normally contained, "I understand. You can wait-"

She was snatched away right in front of his eyes.

With a hand over her mouth and his arm around her waist, Jin'eh pulled the girl into the boat sailed away thanks to the rough current of the river.

"Miss Kaoru!!" Kenshin shouted as the swordsman drifted away.

I watched as he stared at the retreating boat in an expression I haven't seen in a long time. The raw anger on his face even scared me as he tightened the grip he had on the hilt of his sword.

"Damn you Jin'eh!!"

~*~

The night I admired seemed to be reborn anew as I looked at the stars. In a harmony that could only be achieved by such a radiant combination, the night sky seemed even more beautiful than the one before.

Kenshin quietly walked towards the place Jin'eh chose for their battle.

Just as I predicted, blood was going to be spilled.

Weaving his way through the dense forest, he finally arrived at the opening in the center. Quickly looking around, he spotted the girl being held captive in the small shrine while his opponent sat on top of a rock.

"Ah, just on time Battosai..."

Kenshin drew his sword, "You've got Miss Kaoru involved in this and that is something I cannot allow."

"Perfect, I can see the anger in your eyes," Jin'eh smiled, "You even put the edge of your strange sword where it belongs."

That was all that was said as he drew his sword. It didn't even take a second before they were charging towards each other. Under this moonlit night surrounded by nature, the swordsmen fought. The swords that they carried clashed so many times that it was hard to be sure exactly how many strikes were made.

Despite the sharp look in his eyes, it was easy to see that he was in absolute concentration. Jin'eh's twisted smile grew in size as he attempted to bind him with his ability but Kenshin easily broke it, "Your tricks won't work on me!!"

With the sharp side of his sword still being pointed at his opponent, Kenshin dodged his strikes until he successfully used the blunt side of his blade to break Jin'eh's stance. Surprised, he reeled back and red haired swordsman was too preoccupied with his own attack to notice that the crazed swordsman switched the sword to his other hand behind his back.

I gasped as his thrust cut into Kenshin's arm...

Blood splattered across the grass and the former assassin fell to his knees, holding his arm as he looked up at the man that injured him.

"Boring... I could crush as you are now." Jin'eh turned towards the shocked girl who stared at the swordsman on the ground, "Maybe if I make you a little bit angrier."

His prisoner fell victim to the look in his eyes and she virtually stopped breathing. Kaoru tried to breath but she simply could inhale any air since her throat wouldn't allow it. Jin'eh laughed, her pathetic attempt to fight off his spell was almost as pitiful as the lame offensive the manslayer tried attempted to mount on him. Seeing that he had successfully brought her under his ability, the Jin'eh turned back to his opponent, "Dying by suffocation is not pretty..."

But... Kenshin was gone.

Shocked, Jin'eh looked around for sight of him and could only see the blunt side of a blade rapidly approaching. The sword smashed into his face, a blow which easily broke his nose, and caused blood to spill from his mouth. He fell to his knees but the smile on his face dripped with insanity, "Yes... This is the fight I was looking for! This is the legendary manslayer himself!"

With a quick swipe that caused the blood on his sword to splash on the ground, Kenshin stared at the man in front of him with an expression that I nearly forgot about. True to Jin'eh's words, the man in front of me was no longer the present Kenshin but the murderer that I once knew.

"Come... so I can kill you." He taunted the killer with an invite, the attack that broke his nose just an indication that the next one would be with the sharp edge.

"Kill me?" He snapped his nose back in place, "You must have it twisted."

Jin'eh laughed as he held his sword in front of him and stared at the reflection. Using the same skill he did on Kaoru, he started to bind himself with a spell except in his case...

"I am the strongest! I can't be beat!"

His aura radiated with raw strength. Somehow, he fooled his body into thinking that he was indeed the strongest and the increase in muscle mass was proof of that. Also, the overwhelming darkness in his eyes were now gone. They were replaced with a set of eyes that were filled with arrogance and the same lunacy I saw in his twisted smile, "This may not be an honorable technique but it is still mine."

"Use any technique you wish. You will not overcome me." Kenshin sheathed his sword and got into a crouching position.

It was a doubled-edge technique.

Coming out of the sheath, the sword was drawn with incredible speed in order to strike down the opponent but, if the attack missed, then the user was left completely open to attack.

With knowledge of this, both of them stared at each other until Jin'eh started to chuckle. Raising his sword for hopefully the last time against his opponent, the crazed man charged towards him again. Just as predicted, Kenshin drew his sword and it instantly turned into a grayish blur as he slashed at the man.

I was sure my eyes doubled in size as I realized that Kenshin missed, only managing to cut a few strands of the man's hair thanks to the fact that he backed up at the last second. Jin'eh laughed loudly as he brought his sword down, "I win Battosai!!"

The iron sheath met with his elbow and the terrible sound of bone being shattered echoed through the night, "You win nothing Jin'eh."

"A t-two sword skill!!"

Kenshin ignored him, "The bone is smashed and your tendons are severed. Your life as a swordsman is over... next is your life."

Long ago, I learned that the assassin's blade was covered in sorrow that sliced through all happiness. Dramatic words that were true nonetheless.

The sword that he once carried was drowned in the sadness that he attempted to rid himself of but it was easy to tell that simply throwing away a katana wouldn't do away with those ill feelings. Instead, Kenshin carried that despair deep inside his heart and only I was a witness to it...

However, the blade that shinned in the brilliant rays of moonlight contained neither the sorrow that I was familiar with nor the ideals that I treasured. The reversed blade was indeed reversed but I referred not to the blade but the thought behind it. Kenshin wielded the sword with a vow not to kill and the sharp edge of his sword was now pointed at his enemy.

Somehow I had to stop him... I couldn't let this happen! I couldn't let those ideals be stained, the vow that he tied around his life broken merely because of a lunatic.

The blade gleamed in the light as it sailed through the air.

"Kenshin!!" I yelled his name, clutching my clothes with my hands as I screamed for him to stop.

Shocked by the sudden mention of his name, he stopped before he delivered the killing blow. I froze as he withdrew his sword and slowly came back to his senses. Did he hear me? After all this time, did my feelings finally reach him?

He looked at me and I could feel myself shaking, trembling at the thought that he could see me. My voice caught up in my throat and my heart was beating so hard in my chest that I couldn't focus my thoughts.

Those crystal blue eyes stared at me and he finally opened his mouth to speak after he regained his composure, "Miss Kaoru..." He whispered as he sheathed his sword.

Something in me snapped as I realized, in hindsight, that I wasn't the only person that yelled for him to stop.

No, that wasn't the right word. Something in my fractured, like wood being broken into pieces that could never be put back together. As he stared through me to look at the unconscious girl in the shed, I couldn't help but realize that my feelings were hurt.

They weren't just hurt... My feelings were what broke inside me.

Much to the dismay of the man who wanted death by his hand, Kenshin ran to the girl as she slumped over on the ground. Arriving at the small shrine just in time to catch her, Kaoru landed softly in his arms, "Please wake up!"

She stirred in his arms, "I'm alright. I... I just fainted."

The expression on his face softened as he received the news. I studied both of them as Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief. They were happy while I was sad. I did not bear a grudge and I already knew he didn't hurt my feelings intentionally.

Still...

I shook me head in an attempt to free myself of such thoughts. Things like this happened before but it never hurt like this. I never felt this bad. I was prepared for this and I couldn't let my resolve be shaken so easily.

Their time together was cut short and I raised my head to look at the injured man stand with short sword in hand, "I didn't expect the girl to break free..."

"Jin'eh, it's over... You can't beat me with a wakazashi."

"Over?" Jin'eh raised the blade in the air, "There are still things to be settled!"

With something too insane to be called laughter spilling from his mouth, the man plunged the short sword into his chest. The short sword pieced his heart and the end of the blade protruded out of his back.

Blood sprayed from the wound as he fell backwards into the grass, "Yes... I like this feeling."

Everyone, including myself, looked on in surprise as blood squirted out of his chest and onto the ground, "Don't look so surprised. It was bound to come to this."

Kenshin still couldn't mask his shock as he listened to the dying man's words but he still allowed him to continue.

"I told you to stop looking at me like that!" Jin'eh yelled, "You should keep that murderous look in your eyes. Yes, the look of a cold blooded killer! I want to see the expression you had when you were ready to take my life!"

This man...

"After all, we'll be fighting again in Hell!"

Was far beyond crazy...

His ravenous laughter echoed through the night and it continued until it came to an abrupt halt, but the twisted expression on his face remained. It was a smile, a disturbing one at that. It was a smile that told me he was going to enjoy suffering he was going to experience in the afterlife.

Of course, my feelings weren't forgotten but we all remained there for quite a while and simply stared at the corpse. Neither of them spoke as they got up and quietly walked away and left the madness that once known as Jin'eh fade from this plane of existence.

With silence in our company, it didn't take long for us to be on our way back to the dojo. Kenshin stifled a yawn as he walked down the empty streets and I watched as the sky gradually stared to change colors, a sigh that the sun was barely under the horizon.

"Kenshin..." She whispered his name softly as they neared her dojo.

In his own world, the swordsman continued walking as he thought about the events that transpired but that only caused the woman that accompanied him to become more upset.

"Kenshin!!"

He quickly raised his head and turned towards Kaoru, "Ah...? What is it?"

"Thanks for saving me." She smiled brightly before bowing to him which invoked one of the clumsy responses that usually came from the vagabond, "I really-"

Flattered, Kenshin smiled as he waved his arms in front of him. "N-No," He interrupted, "I should be thanking you... I'm grateful."

She turned away to hide her blush, "I... Well... It's nothing."

"Oh! Your scarf!"

She raised an eyebrow, "Scarf...?"

He drew my attention with mention of a scarf as he reached inside his clothes and pulled out her ribbon. Happily, he attempted to hand her the stained fabric but, when he opened his eyes, he noticed the confused look on her face.

"First of all..." She was visually becoming angry as she spoke, the stains on her favorite accessory more than enough to infuriate her, "Why did you call it a scarf?"

Kenshin blinked, the happy smile disappearing the moment he realized his mistake. Anger quickly became concern as she looked at her savior, his expression becoming unreadable as he stared at the cloth he held in his grasp.

"I..." He started, clutching the bloody ribbon as he spoke, "I felt like someone else was there, someone important to me."

Again, his actions tugged at my feelings...

"Do you want to go back?" Kaoru asked gently, the look on his face proof enough that this was way more significant than the blood stained ribbon, "The person is probably still-"

"No," A small smile came to rest on his face as he looked at the morning sky, "She wouldn't be there... but I'm glad I had that feeling."

As she studied the look on his face and slowly started to understand, my feelings were pieced together not by something as dear as his touch but by his words. I mirrored his smile as he handed her the ribbon and I happily followed him as they walked towards the dojo.

He would never know that he broke my heart and put it back together in a matter of hours and he would never know how good it felt being acknowledged for a few minutes but I would never forget.

For the first time, his bloody hand casually touched the scar on his face and the smile on his face remained even as his fingers trailed across the wound.

I would never forget how much I loved him.

Fin

Author's note: Hard to write from a woman's point of view... >