FicWad

I look at my reflection and see nothing but you.

You were so beautiful. So...nothing, so everything. The picture of purity destroyed by society. Destroyed by perfection, destroyed by life.

Destroyed by me.

I had hung on your every last word, your every move. I depended on you, like a pathetic little puppy. I couldn't be happy eithout you. I still can't. I bring my eyes away from the mirror. But I still see you. I can't escape your prescence. I know I can't, but I still try.
I try because it's easier without you. It has always been. But that doesn't mean it's better without you. I can't bear it. Part of me likes that. The other part knows better, it knows I will end up with you if I am for a second without you.

Those eyes.
That voice.
That look on your face, the same smirk that is slightly suggesting and slightly depressing is as it always was.
The make-up remains on your face forever, every time I see you. All the time. The same running black eyeliner, almost cinematic with precision. And all of a sudden I remember putting that same eyeliner on you. The touch of my cold hands against your smooth, warm skin as I pressed the pencil against your eye. The bumps on the road causing the car to jump and us laughing at your misfortune. The sudden realization as the car spun out of control that we would never reach our destination. Or at least one of us.

I shake my head of the thought, but failing that I try to drink it away, into the back of my head, or better yet maybe it would kill me. I freeze in my shock, I can't think like that. There's no way you would want that. But the more I drink the better an idea it sounds, and the less I want to be without you.
The gap between life and death gets smaller and smaller and closer and closer until I can practically step over it. But I need help to get over, your help.

My help.

How did it come to this? When we were younger you would joke and laugh about us being together forever, and I would always retaliate "Forever doesn't exist". Maybe I finally proved myself wrong. Or maybe I was right, either way, I will find out now.

The rain pounds against the window at the same pace as my heart, creating an unsteady, unsober rythem in my mind. I exchange the empty bottle in my hand for a kitchen knife. Everything becomes loud, my own breathing begins to irritate me. But it will all be gone when I am with you Brendon. Just wait. I'll see you soon, and when I do, I'll fix your eyeliner.

Hey x
Hope y'all liked that - took me a whole ten minutes to write!! :O Just kidding :3
But still, R & R too let me know what you thought of it please :)
I actually seriously needed to write and I don't know why but this is sort of what came out :S
Very short, and just a one-shot but I think it has meaning. And I quite like that :)
So yeah, thats all.
Oh yeah, - I will update all my other stories soon - I promise I'm not getting distracted! Okay maybe a little bit ;)
But hey, I'm the writer so :P
Thanks for listening to all that rubbish that spilled out of my fingertips and onto your screen :D
I just realized I press enter way to much O___O
xoxo
R