Categories > Games > Sonic the Hedgehog > Fuck the Jesus Beam
Fuck the Jesus Beam
A TENGEN TOPA SONEN TALIANN FIC
By: LOVEPOINT23
"Look you retarded shitcocks, I don't give a fuck f you're looking at gay porn, I'M TRYING TO WRITE A LITERARY FUCKING MSTERPICE HERE."
AUTHNO: hello CUNTS. Cool Understanding Never Terrorizing Superpeople. CUNTS. Nwo uyo KNOW. OK!
I AM CRYING
CHAPTER VOYAGE: IN THE YEAR 1492, COLOMBUS SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE. 16syl
CHAPTER HOLOCAUST: IN THE YEAR 1942, HITLER KILLED A LOT OF JEWS. 16syl
I growled. "It's not a fucking coincidence, is it?"
They responded, whispering their malign rape fantasies. Little many-legged bodies twisted and spun, circling me. Black eyes watched impassively from beyond the face of the deep. Blued sunlight poured into the cup. I lifted it to my lips and drank the poison.
An explosion issued from beyond them, and Simaoils came to my domicile, edging past the carvings of a fallen hero.
"Niamy!", he yelled, "The Bombignats and Fetii are invading! Kaminic is gone!"
I considered, thinking as diseased flesh pulsated languidly from within my intestines. If Kaminic had fallen...
There was no other option.
"Simaoils!" I shouted into his face, "RELEASE O.B.A.M.A.!"
"AYEAYE!" His shouted back into my face, already turning.
With a snap, his neck broke.
"Fucking faggot..." I muttered, and walked out of the room. I made my way down the hall, listening for the sounds of barrage. They couldn't be heard. A false alarm, or..."
I spun around and released the parasites in my gut. My arms became RPG launchers, and I fired a barrage of Monster Hunter Three at the Fetus Inferna that had been creeping up behind me. With a sickening crunch, the not-child broke all of it's bones and dodged like an jellyfish having anal sex with a limber porcupine.
"Sucker."
The twisted face looked to it side at the games, just as they decomposed into mindworms and began to eat away at it's toes. In an hour, I would have another loyal servant.
No time for that now. I turned down the corridor of the Dai-Sonen and ran to the nearest pole I could find. I latched on, and slid down through five dimensional space made of armless men wearing syphilis infested kittens and earmuffs made of locusts made of deranged butter fornicating with an Arabian man with the mind of a penguin in then Western Sahara looking for an icecube while it melted into a corpse of mummified flesh on a broiling day while it rained.
It had to end, and as I slid back into regular space and into the sacred chamber, I sighed. I liked the Insanity. Heheheh. Um...
In front of me was a green cylinder filled with amniotic fluid. Inside of it slept the greatest evil that had ever been known... Until now.
BaROCK Dominatus Caesar Inferno Vespucci Giovanni Goku Super Sexy Awesome Absolute GOD O.B.A.M.A. A terrorist of KenyaN Origin. He had hidden his past and become the president of the united states. After he achieved office, he launched World Wars 3 through 97 serving a total of 14,657 consecutive terms in office.
I slammed my fist into the decantation switch. The guillotine dropped and severed my lower arm, cauterizing it.
I screamed, and blacked out
I came to, and HE stood over me, looking down with concern with eyes made of blue dragonfly shit.
"Are you," He began, but I cut him off.
"O.B.A.M.A...", I said, "We... We need you help."
"HE narrowed his eyes. O.B.A.M.A. Said" Are you kidding me, girl? I've been in stasis for over a HUNDRED MILLION YEARS. If anyone threatens my domain, they -will- die. But first, I shall reclaim it.
"HE turned, raised his fist and gestured. Reality split into fine hairline fracture and hE began to walk. Then HE stopped and Said" Bombignats, Fetii, TO ME.
"oh," I said.
We are well and truely fucked.
Kaminic was not dead. He had been Converted. Wearing a blue hat, with coffee-stained eyes and metallic skin, Bombignat Kaminic followed HIM.
And then they were gone.
MOTHERFUCKING END OF CHAPTER VOYAGE.
MOTHERFUCKING END OF CHAPTER HOLOCAUST.
A TENGEN TOPA SONEN TALIANN FIC
By: LOVEPOINT23
"Look you retarded shitcocks, I don't give a fuck f you're looking at gay porn, I'M TRYING TO WRITE A LITERARY FUCKING MSTERPICE HERE."
AUTHNO: hello CUNTS. Cool Understanding Never Terrorizing Superpeople. CUNTS. Nwo uyo KNOW. OK!
I AM CRYING
CHAPTER VOYAGE: IN THE YEAR 1492, COLOMBUS SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE. 16syl
CHAPTER HOLOCAUST: IN THE YEAR 1942, HITLER KILLED A LOT OF JEWS. 16syl
I growled. "It's not a fucking coincidence, is it?"
They responded, whispering their malign rape fantasies. Little many-legged bodies twisted and spun, circling me. Black eyes watched impassively from beyond the face of the deep. Blued sunlight poured into the cup. I lifted it to my lips and drank the poison.
An explosion issued from beyond them, and Simaoils came to my domicile, edging past the carvings of a fallen hero.
"Niamy!", he yelled, "The Bombignats and Fetii are invading! Kaminic is gone!"
I considered, thinking as diseased flesh pulsated languidly from within my intestines. If Kaminic had fallen...
There was no other option.
"Simaoils!" I shouted into his face, "RELEASE O.B.A.M.A.!"
"AYEAYE!" His shouted back into my face, already turning.
With a snap, his neck broke.
"Fucking faggot..." I muttered, and walked out of the room. I made my way down the hall, listening for the sounds of barrage. They couldn't be heard. A false alarm, or..."
I spun around and released the parasites in my gut. My arms became RPG launchers, and I fired a barrage of Monster Hunter Three at the Fetus Inferna that had been creeping up behind me. With a sickening crunch, the not-child broke all of it's bones and dodged like an jellyfish having anal sex with a limber porcupine.
"Sucker."
The twisted face looked to it side at the games, just as they decomposed into mindworms and began to eat away at it's toes. In an hour, I would have another loyal servant.
No time for that now. I turned down the corridor of the Dai-Sonen and ran to the nearest pole I could find. I latched on, and slid down through five dimensional space made of armless men wearing syphilis infested kittens and earmuffs made of locusts made of deranged butter fornicating with an Arabian man with the mind of a penguin in then Western Sahara looking for an icecube while it melted into a corpse of mummified flesh on a broiling day while it rained.
It had to end, and as I slid back into regular space and into the sacred chamber, I sighed. I liked the Insanity. Heheheh. Um...
In front of me was a green cylinder filled with amniotic fluid. Inside of it slept the greatest evil that had ever been known... Until now.
BaROCK Dominatus Caesar Inferno Vespucci Giovanni Goku Super Sexy Awesome Absolute GOD O.B.A.M.A. A terrorist of KenyaN Origin. He had hidden his past and become the president of the united states. After he achieved office, he launched World Wars 3 through 97 serving a total of 14,657 consecutive terms in office.
I slammed my fist into the decantation switch. The guillotine dropped and severed my lower arm, cauterizing it.
I screamed, and blacked out
I came to, and HE stood over me, looking down with concern with eyes made of blue dragonfly shit.
"Are you," He began, but I cut him off.
"O.B.A.M.A...", I said, "We... We need you help."
"HE narrowed his eyes. O.B.A.M.A. Said" Are you kidding me, girl? I've been in stasis for over a HUNDRED MILLION YEARS. If anyone threatens my domain, they -will- die. But first, I shall reclaim it.
"HE turned, raised his fist and gestured. Reality split into fine hairline fracture and hE began to walk. Then HE stopped and Said" Bombignats, Fetii, TO ME.
"oh," I said.
We are well and truely fucked.
Kaminic was not dead. He had been Converted. Wearing a blue hat, with coffee-stained eyes and metallic skin, Bombignat Kaminic followed HIM.
And then they were gone.
MOTHERFUCKING END OF CHAPTER VOYAGE.
MOTHERFUCKING END OF CHAPTER HOLOCAUST.
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