Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Humorous Romance
This one just has to go to the Way family. All fiction, never happened, don't own.
One day, 6 year old Bandit Lee Way came home from school. Lyn-Z was in the kitchen, setting up things for dinner. "Mommy?" Bandit asked from the doorway, her green eyes huge. It was obvious that she had something interesting or something was bugging her, as she hadn't taken her shoes nor her bookbag off. "What hon?" Lyn-Z asked, head buried in the fridge, attempting to extract the bag of spinach from where Gerard had tried and failed epicly to hide it behind some of Frank's strange Vegetarian food.
"Mommy, what's a Son Of A Bitch?" Bandit asked, pronouncing the profanity like it was the most amazing thing she'd heard to date, and the most important thing she'd ever heard as well. Lyn-Z froze a moment, holding the Veggie food in one hand, some of it tucked under one armpit, the other hand clasping the spinach. A smile came onto her mouth as she remembered how much of a douche-bag the priest who'd married her to Gerard had been. Apparently, he believed anyone with tattoos would go to hell, women should be seen and not heard if seen at all, and any man with long hair was a faggot, which was doomed to burn in hell. He'd given them hell from the start.
When Lyn-Z had asked Gerard why they'd had to pick that church, his answer was even though he wanted to give the priest a knuckle sandwich on the house, he had to stick with that church because it was the same one his beloved grandmother Elena had visited. "Mommy?" Bandit asked, bringing Lyn-Z back to reality. "Oh, sorry sweetie, getting back to your question, a priest is a son of a bitch." Bandit nodded solemnly, and wandered off.
Later that night, Gerard Way came home. Seeing the bag of spinach sitting on the counter winking evilly at him, he let out a "Aw fuck no!" Lyn-Z snapped at him, "Watch your mouth!", hand planted firmly on her hip. Just then, Bandit wandered into the room, and said, "Daddy, what's a fuck?" Gerard blushed deeply. Lyn-Z glared at him, as if daring him to tell their young daughter what the word really meant.
"Well honey," Gerard started off, glancing at his wife. She was glaring daggers at him. Gerard tugged at his collar nervously and gulped loudly, comical infact. "When a grown-up says 'fuck' they can mean one of two things." Lyn-Z looked like she was practically ready to beat the shit out of Gerard with the rolling pin she had in a deathgrip. "Either they mean they're very upset about something, or they're getting dressed." Lyn-Z relaxed, and Gerard let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Bandit nodded, and said, "Okay Daddy."
About half an hour later, Lyn-Z burnt her finger taking a cake out of the oven. Without thinking, she yelled out, "Shit!!". Then she ran her finger under some cold water. Bandit was right behind her. "Mommy, what's a shit?" Lyn-Z looked petrified for a moment. Her young daughter was quickly picking up a potty mouth, most of it coming from her and her husband. "It's a type of cake. In fact, the same kind as the one I just took out of the oven."
"Okay." Bandit said, and wandered off. At this age, her mind was like a sponge. Lyn-Z set up the table nicely, with help from Gerard, and she put the cake in the centerpiece. They both walked upstairs, and Gerard told Bandit, "Bandit, if the priest gets here for dinner before me and Mommy are done getting dressed, tell him to make sure his fatass doesn't eat everything down. Then show him in. Okay?"
Bandit nodded, and said, "Okay. But whats an ass?" Gerard looked around, doing the stretchy-collar-and-gulp thing again, then said, "Its a donkey, but sometimes you call people an ass cause theyre stubborn like a donkey." Bandit smiled, and walked to the living room. Gerard walked upstairs.
While Gerard and Lyn-Z were getting dressed, the doorbell rang. It was the priest. Bandit opened the door and let him in. "Good evening young lady." he boomed out. Bandit cringed away from his loud voice and said, "Good evening son-of-a-bitch, the shit's on the table and Mommy and Daddy are upstairs fucking. And Daddy told me to tell you to please don't let your fatass eat everything down."
The priest fainted dead away, falling back, legs going up. Just then, Lyn-Z and Gerard came downstairs. "Good job." Gerard said, giving Bandit a grin and thumbs up, before dropping them both at a glare from Lyn-Z. "What happened?" Lyn-z Asked. "I used my new words and gave him the message Daddy told me to give him and the son of a bitch fainted!" Bandit said. Lyn-Z asked with disapproval creeping into her voice, "What message did Daddy tell you to give him?" Bandit drew herself up to her full height and said, "Not to let his fatass eat everything down."
Lyn-Z turned, and yelled, "GERARD!!" yanking off one heel, and holding it in her hand, she began to chase Gerard around the house.
One day, 6 year old Bandit Lee Way came home from school. Lyn-Z was in the kitchen, setting up things for dinner. "Mommy?" Bandit asked from the doorway, her green eyes huge. It was obvious that she had something interesting or something was bugging her, as she hadn't taken her shoes nor her bookbag off. "What hon?" Lyn-Z asked, head buried in the fridge, attempting to extract the bag of spinach from where Gerard had tried and failed epicly to hide it behind some of Frank's strange Vegetarian food.
"Mommy, what's a Son Of A Bitch?" Bandit asked, pronouncing the profanity like it was the most amazing thing she'd heard to date, and the most important thing she'd ever heard as well. Lyn-Z froze a moment, holding the Veggie food in one hand, some of it tucked under one armpit, the other hand clasping the spinach. A smile came onto her mouth as she remembered how much of a douche-bag the priest who'd married her to Gerard had been. Apparently, he believed anyone with tattoos would go to hell, women should be seen and not heard if seen at all, and any man with long hair was a faggot, which was doomed to burn in hell. He'd given them hell from the start.
When Lyn-Z had asked Gerard why they'd had to pick that church, his answer was even though he wanted to give the priest a knuckle sandwich on the house, he had to stick with that church because it was the same one his beloved grandmother Elena had visited. "Mommy?" Bandit asked, bringing Lyn-Z back to reality. "Oh, sorry sweetie, getting back to your question, a priest is a son of a bitch." Bandit nodded solemnly, and wandered off.
Later that night, Gerard Way came home. Seeing the bag of spinach sitting on the counter winking evilly at him, he let out a "Aw fuck no!" Lyn-Z snapped at him, "Watch your mouth!", hand planted firmly on her hip. Just then, Bandit wandered into the room, and said, "Daddy, what's a fuck?" Gerard blushed deeply. Lyn-Z glared at him, as if daring him to tell their young daughter what the word really meant.
"Well honey," Gerard started off, glancing at his wife. She was glaring daggers at him. Gerard tugged at his collar nervously and gulped loudly, comical infact. "When a grown-up says 'fuck' they can mean one of two things." Lyn-Z looked like she was practically ready to beat the shit out of Gerard with the rolling pin she had in a deathgrip. "Either they mean they're very upset about something, or they're getting dressed." Lyn-Z relaxed, and Gerard let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Bandit nodded, and said, "Okay Daddy."
About half an hour later, Lyn-Z burnt her finger taking a cake out of the oven. Without thinking, she yelled out, "Shit!!". Then she ran her finger under some cold water. Bandit was right behind her. "Mommy, what's a shit?" Lyn-Z looked petrified for a moment. Her young daughter was quickly picking up a potty mouth, most of it coming from her and her husband. "It's a type of cake. In fact, the same kind as the one I just took out of the oven."
"Okay." Bandit said, and wandered off. At this age, her mind was like a sponge. Lyn-Z set up the table nicely, with help from Gerard, and she put the cake in the centerpiece. They both walked upstairs, and Gerard told Bandit, "Bandit, if the priest gets here for dinner before me and Mommy are done getting dressed, tell him to make sure his fatass doesn't eat everything down. Then show him in. Okay?"
Bandit nodded, and said, "Okay. But whats an ass?" Gerard looked around, doing the stretchy-collar-and-gulp thing again, then said, "Its a donkey, but sometimes you call people an ass cause theyre stubborn like a donkey." Bandit smiled, and walked to the living room. Gerard walked upstairs.
While Gerard and Lyn-Z were getting dressed, the doorbell rang. It was the priest. Bandit opened the door and let him in. "Good evening young lady." he boomed out. Bandit cringed away from his loud voice and said, "Good evening son-of-a-bitch, the shit's on the table and Mommy and Daddy are upstairs fucking. And Daddy told me to tell you to please don't let your fatass eat everything down."
The priest fainted dead away, falling back, legs going up. Just then, Lyn-Z and Gerard came downstairs. "Good job." Gerard said, giving Bandit a grin and thumbs up, before dropping them both at a glare from Lyn-Z. "What happened?" Lyn-z Asked. "I used my new words and gave him the message Daddy told me to give him and the son of a bitch fainted!" Bandit said. Lyn-Z asked with disapproval creeping into her voice, "What message did Daddy tell you to give him?" Bandit drew herself up to her full height and said, "Not to let his fatass eat everything down."
Lyn-Z turned, and yelled, "GERARD!!" yanking off one heel, and holding it in her hand, she began to chase Gerard around the house.
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