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The last thing I needed right now was Bellatrix sitting on my bed. I mean, I had just about had the worst life in my life. Wait, scratch that. This had been the worst night of my life. So many feelings were flooding through my brain and causing me so much pain. I couldn't bear all those tumultuous feelings much longer. I had to let them out...but how?

Unfortunately, I couldn't concentrate on trying to sort out my feelings when Bellatrix was already occupying my personal space. Not in any mood to deal with her right now, I sighed and said in as pleasant of a voice as I could muster, "Do you need something or not? If you don't, I'm going to ask you to move. This is my bed and my space and at the moment, all I want to do is fall fast asleep."

Bella squirmed uncomfortably where she was sitting and tugged absentmindedly on a stray brunette curl that had fallen in front of her eyes. Finally, without really looking at me, she said, "I came to apologize to you, Cissy. I know I've treated you like crap these last few days and this is all my fault really. I guess I always knew you weren't cut out to be a Death Eater, but I just wished you could be part of us. Anyways, it's too late for that at this point. I'm really sorry for everything I said to you the other day. I guess I was just pissed off for a lot of reasons. And um...I'm sorry for telling on you."

My sister was actually and finally apologizing. That came as a bit of a shock. I mean, who would've guessed Bella would actually apologize at this point? It was like three weeks since our argument. I knew I should forgive her. After all, staying mad really didn't do anyone much good. Still though, I was kind of mad. If it weren't for Bella, Lucius wouldn't be lying almost dead in the boys' dormitory right now. And if it weren't for Bella, I might've been sitting on Lucius' lap and talking about Christmas break with him right now.

Deciding not to accept or reject her apology quite yet, I said emotionlessly, "Did you see what Tom did to Lucius?" A long pause followed my question. Finally, Bella squirmed uncomfortably and said in a quiet voice, "Not exactly. Tom just said that he was going to punish him. And...um...well, I have to admit I heard his screams."

At this point, I kind of lost it again. Staring at Bellatrix as if she were a stranger and not my sister, I blurted out, "I just don't get you anymore though, Bella. I mean, we use to be so close and now we're so different. What do you see in Tom? He's just sadistic and cruel. Don't you know he probably would've killed Lucius tonight?"

Bella answered me with silence. She kept her eyes on the floor and stayed silent. I stayed silent as well and let the anger pulse and run through my veins. I wanted to hurt someone. For a moment, I almost thought about grabbing my wand and cursing Bella. Someone had to pay for what had happened to Lucius. Who could be better than Bella since she was the one who had caused him the pain?

However, just as my hand went for my wand, I got back in control of myself and took a deep breath instead. Bella, who had been watching me out of the corner of her eye, said in a compassionate voice, "Look, Cissy, I'm really sorry for everything. There's no changing the past at this point though. What is done is done. I can't go back to change it and neither can you. You can either accept my apology or not. It's totally up to you. Really though, I'd rather not spend all of Christmas break pissed off at you."

I felt the same way to be honest. It would be like hell trying to survive two weeks at my mother's place without even having Bella to talk to. I didn't mind a little bit of time to myself, but complete isolation would be unbearable. Deciding to be the good girl, I forced a smile and said, "Okay, apology accepted. But now if you don't mind, I'd really like my bed back. It's been a long day."

Bella's face broke into a smile at my apology and she grinned, "I knew you couldn't stay at me long, Cis." With that, she jumped off the bed in an obviously better mood. Before retreating to her bed, she hugged me tightly. I let myself flop into her arms because there was really no strength left in my body to resist anymore anyways.

We hugged for a moment before Bella released me and went over to her bed. I immediately toppled into my own bed and yanked the comforter up to my chin. It was a very cold night and for some reason, I was freezing. My toes were numb and I was shivering. Just as I leaned over to turn the light on the nightstand off, Bella looked over her shoulder at me and said very apologetically, "You know I am really sorry about what happened with Lucius...I didn't know..."

Bella let her sentence trail off and studied my face to see how I would react. I merely nodded at her before rolling onto my side to fall asleep. As darkness overcame me, I couldn't help but wonder whether or not Bella was genuine or not. Was she really sorry about Lucius? Or was she only trying to get on my good side? Only time would tell.

~ ~ ~ ~

I spent the next two days a mess. All I could think about was Lucius and unfortunately, nobody could tell me how he was doing. I corner Rabastan, Rudolphus, and Nott. All of them said that they hadn't seen Lucius at all and they didn't even know that he had been injured. That just spiked up my worry level a few notches. Where the hell was Lucius?

I also looked for Severus over the next few days. After all, he had been the one who had agreed to take care of Lucius. But of course with my luck, I didn't run into Severus once. Today was our last day at Hogwarts before Christmas break. As soon as our last class was over, we would be heading off to our mom's home for a long two weeks.

I had just figured Potions and was figuring that I should probably give up on trying to find Lucius before break. He was nowhere to be seen. I might've searched around for him if I hadn't been feeling so exhausted. My legs were weak under me and there was an ache in my stomach. I still hadn't been eating, but I didn't dare eat now. It would only make me fat and make my stomach hurt more.

Right now, I was going up to the dormitory to retrieve my suitcase with all my robes and other junk. As I was walking up the stairs, I ran into a familiar figure. Natasha was walking down the stairs with a pinched expression on her face. She looked even more tired than I was feeling and she was biting her lip nervously between her teeth.

I figured something was wrong, but then again, it seemed like there was always something wrong with Nat these days. Deciding to be friendly, I waved at her and called out, "Hey Nat! How's it going? Do you have any Christmas plans?" At my voice, Natasha jumped and almost lost her balance. Before she could go toppling down the stairs, I grabbed her arm to steady her and asked again in concern, "Nat? You okay? You seem a little jumpy. Did something happen?"

Catching her breath, Natasha forced a smile on her face and said, "Yeah...I'm okay now. If I had fallen down the stairs and cracked my skull open, then I might not be so okay!" She tried to laugh, but the laugh came out as more of a choke. Concern washed over me as I watched Nat. I had noticed that she hadn't been looking too good over the last few weeks. I hadn't noticed just how bad she looked though. She was continually getting worse and more run down over time. What on earth was happening to her?

Before I could ask, Natasha answered my other question, "About Christmas plans...nope, I don't have anything planned. I guess I'm just going to have to stick around here at Hogwarts. My parents offered for me to come home over break, but I really can't stand being around them. We don't get along at all and they kind of scare me to be honest."

Strange. I would definitely have guessed someone from a rich, privileged family like Nat would definitely be going home over Christmas break. Apparently, I was wrong. I was about to ask Nat about why she wasn't going home for Christmas when her face suddenly blanched and she went still. Every muscle in body tensed and with much effort, she whispered, "I've gotta run. Have a nice break, Cissy." With that said, she turned and slipped quietly away.

Wondering what had caused Natasha to flee like that, I looked around and saw Tom walking with Bellatrix and Walden along the corridor. My heartbeat started racing as well and like Natasha, I turned tail and ran up the rest of the way to the dormitory to avoid them. I burst through the door to the common room only a few seconds later and slammed the door rather loudly behind me.

I couldn't help but think about poor Natasha. Something bad was happening to her and I had a feeling it might have to do with Tom. Unfortunately, there was no way to confirm this though. And even if there was a way, what exactly could I be expected to do about it? We were all at Tom's mercy. There was no begging, pleading, or bartering with Tom.

Feeling anxiety rise from the pit of my stomach, I started walking through the common room to get to the dormitory. However, before I could reach it, a voice called my name, "Hey Narcissa. Are you getting ready for Christmas?" Turning, I saw Severus sitting on the chair in front of the fire place. He was smiling a sad smile at me and I could see that something was bothering him.

I stopped in my tracks and retraced my steps until I was standing by his armchair. Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, "Yeah, I'm packing my stuff up for the two week break. To be honest, I'm not at all happy about it though. Two weeks alone with my mother and sister is like hell. So do you get to stay here all alone over break?"

Hearing the envy in my voice, Severus laughed, "Well, not quite. I mean, the other teachers and other students will be here as well. But yes, I am staying here over Christmas. I'm sorry you can't too. Your sister can be a bit of a bitch sometimes, there's no denying that. So are you leaving right after you get your bags then?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, looking up towards the dormitory. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to know how Lucius was doing! Unable to refrain myself, I gave Severus a little smile and said, "Alright, now tell me how Lucius is doing. You know full well I've been worrying myself to death over him the last few days. Where is he now? How is he feeling?"

Severus' eyes clouded up at Lucius' name, but his voice was steady when he spoke, "Lucius recovered surprisingly quick. He's not one hundred percent better, but he'll certainly be fine. He's conscious and can move around on his own and stuff. I think he went off to go meet his family for the Christmas break." Yes! I felt like cheering or doing a little dance of some sort. Lucius was going to be okay after all! Before I could let out a whoop of joy, Severus added in a warning voice, "Um, Narcissa?"

Something told me that whatever he was going to say was not going to be good. Freezing in the middle of my euphoria, I nodded slowly to show I was listening. Looking me straight in the eye (which ended up making shivers go up and down my spine), Severus added, "You remember what you promised about staying away from Lucius, right? I don't want either of you getting hurt."

Oh yes, the stupid promise. Sadly, of course I remembered that stupid promise. I had been trying to forget about it. Why did Severus have to go and kill all the joy now? I nodded slowly and confirmed, "Yes, I remember. And yes, I will stay away from Lucius from now on. I'm not going to be the cause of his death. Ugh, I can't even think about that right now. I'm going to go pack my bags."

I hated thinking about something like Lucius being dead. I couldn't imagine a world without Lucius. To try to distract myself from the pain, I needed to go occupy myself with something like packing. Before I reached the door to the dormitory though, Severus reached out and touched my shoulder. Curious to see what he wanted, I turned and found myself only inches away from him. Before I knew it, I was crying into his shoulder and his arms were around me.

We stayed that way for only god knows how long. When all my tears were finally dried and I had let all my misery out, Severus and I separated. Our eyes met and something more than just a sympathetic look passed between us. Severus touched my cheek gently and said, "I know this has all been hard on you. Tom isn't always the nicest. Just try to hang in there. I'll miss you during break."

My emotions raged in turmoil inside me, so all I could do was nod slightly and scurry up to the dormitories. Once I was inside, I flopped down on my bed to think for just a second. It was weird how Severus could cause all these crazy feelings inside of me. I still couldn't identify the way I felt about him. Did I even want to be able to identify the way I felt about him?

"Hey Cissy, are you going to get ready or fall asleep there on your bed?" a voice called my name from across the room. Jerking out of my reverie, I whipped my head around to see who had called my name. Bellatrix was standing across the room with her suitcase already packed and with a hand on her hip. She was obviously ready to go and wanted me to hurry up.

Jumping to my feet, I said, "Sorry, I was just thinking. You can head to the Great Hall if you want. That's where we're suppose to meet mom, right? I'll be there in just a second. I just have to finish my packing. It shouldn't take me too long." Bella paused for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. As she skipped out of the dormitory, she cried over her shoulder, "Alright, but don't be too late!"

Little did Bellatrix know that I did want to be late. The sooner I got to the Great Hall, the sooner I would have to endure the torture of being left alone with mom, Andromeda, and Bella. At least here in the dormitory I didn't have to listen to them blab all the time and I could at least be alone. Hm...maybe I'm starting to become a recluse or something.

I stuffed my robes, dresses, and a few pairs of panties back into my suitcase and tried to zip it shut. Unfortunately, it would not close. Shit. After stuffing everything down to the bottom of the suitcase, I somehow managed to get it to close. I grabbed the bursting suitcase and stumbled back out of the dormitory, out of the common room, and out into the corridors.

I walked close to the wall to avoid getting run over by careless people and tall seventh-years. Just as I was turning a corner, I felt someone grab my suitcase and a voice in my ear said, "I don't think you'll want to be going quite yet."