FicWad

I soon caught up to him.

“Geez! You walk fast!” I exclaimed as I bounded in front of Mikey who chose to exit out the front door and head outside once he had stormed out of the garage.

He didn’t answer me.

“What? Don’t you want to play anymore?” I inquired curiously.
His eyebrows pulled together. “Do you like Frankie?” he asked seriously.

I was about to laugh but stifled that reaction when I saw that Mikey was completely serious and no longer in a playful mood. Now it made sense.

Mikey liked me. Maybe.

Maybe he thought I was cute which was why he invited me over. That or maybe because he just wanted to be my friend. But by introducing me to his other friends without getting to know more about me first, he probably felt inferior to Frank, especially because we did a dance routine and were already connecting in ways Mikey and I weren’t just yet.

“Uh- I like him as a person and he seems like a great guy and good friend.”
Mikey accessed my response before asking, “So…you don’t like him?”
“I don’t really know him well enough yet. I like all of you guys, though. You’re all very sweet and so far you’ve treated me like family. Thank you for that, Mikey,” I responded sincerely. “If you really need some sense of mind I do think you’re an amazing person and extremely cute and likeable. But for now, I think we should just focus on today and becoming better friends before we get into who likes who, okay?”
A slow smile spread to Mikey’s lips before he said, “Okay, let’s go back.”
I nodded and walked by Mikey’s side, grabbing his arm and stopping him before he entered the hallway that would lead back into the garage. There was something in my mind, a thought, I felt I had to address.

“What’s wrong?” Mikey asked gently.
“Mikey, I just think you should know that, you have just as good of a chance as Frankie, or any guy for that matter, when it comes to girls and dating. I mean, you’re funny, sweet, smart, adorable, sexy, you have an awesome personality, and I think I’ve already brushed on how cute and likable you are so anything else would be overdoing it.”
I was surprised he didn’t laugh at me, instead he gave me a delicate smile.
“Wow, thank you, really.”
I nodded and let us walk the last few steps to the garage.

Little did I know, those words would mean so much to him in the long run.

I was glad to join everyone else back in the garage as Mikey told them the reason he left was to use the restroom so they wouldn’t ask too many questions as to why he left in the first place.

“Okays, he’s back, let’s go!” Frank said enthusiastically.
“Alright, we’re an entitled band right now,” Gee stated simply. “And we’ll be playing out one of our song’s called ‘Our Lady of Sorrows’.”

I smiled widely as the guitars started up and then the drums. Then all the instruments clashed together and Gee began singing.

”We could be perfect one last night | and die like star-crossed lover when we fight | and we could settle this affair | if you would shed your yellow | take my hand and then we’ll solve the mystery of laceration gravity | This riddle of revenge | please understand it has to be this way.”

Gerard sang beautifully but also with an edge that made the entire song vibrate and come to life. So far, I loved the song.

”Stand up fucking tall don’t let them see your back | and take my fucking hand and never be afraid again | We’ve only got one chance to put things at an end
“And cross the patron-saint of switchblade fights | You said we’re all celebrities | We spark and fade, they die by three | I’ll make you understand and you can trade me for an apparition stand.”

The chorus repeated after that verse and I liked the way the guys worked together to make the song clash and liven the place up, as well as liven me AND my spirits up.

”Just | You said | you put the words in your head | Oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying | Stand | Take my fucking hand | Take my fucking!” Gee screamed lightly. ”Stand up fucking tall don’t let them see your back | and take my fucking hand and never be afraid again!” Toward the end Gee gave finished the lyrics and Frank added his own backup vocals along with some screaming which ended the song and had me overjoyed and smiling widely.

“Woo!” I cheered happily as the guys all looked expectantly at me. “You guys, that was was AWESOME!!! You’re all amazing! Wow.”
Gee smiled and said, “Thank you, Skyler. Glad you like us.”
“Yeah, you and several others,” Ray piped in.
“We already won battle of the bands at our last jam,” Bob pointed out.
“But this time we’ll have actual producers and recording companies to perform for. So, hopefully, this’ll turn our lives around.”
“Along with all the people we play for,” Frank contributed. “We want to be able to get our message out there and to encourage kids to be themselves and stick up for what they believe in even with all the crazy shit that goes on in the world.”
“That sounds amazing,” I responded truthfully. It was cool how they wanted to help so many people. “So when is this gig?”
“This weekend actually,” Gee replied.
“And it’s only Monday so we have plenty of time to practice.” Bob had a wide smile on his eyes as his eyes lit up.
“Yep, so anyone up for a snack break?” Ray asked curiously as he glanced around the room.
“I’m in!” Frank exclaimed.
“Me too,” Bob murmured as he went after the other two guys and headed back inside to where the kitchen was.

Mikey remained a little while longer, smiling widely at me before removing his bass from around his shoulder, setting it down, and joining the other guys in the house.

Gerard stepped away from the microphone and sat next to me on the little couch I was seated at.

“So, how do you like the band?”
“It’s very cool. I wish I had that kind of talent.”
Gee nodded and sigh blissfully, as if deciding something or coming up with a solution to something. He then turned to me and asked, “Do you like my brother?”
At that I couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh, but of course I found him to be completely serious.
“Well, I kind of just met him.”
“And what about Frankie?”
“What about him?”
“Both he and my brother have gone completely goo-goo eyed over you. I think they both like you. And when I see it in their eyes I can tell and I’m usually right.”
I smiled and replied, “I like them, too, Gee, just…as a friend right now though. And, maybe, I like one a little more than a friend, too.”
Gee seemed amused. “Which one?” he asked curiously.
“Mikey,” I retorted nervously. “I think I liked him straight away, the moment he spoke to me. I know that sounds weird but people don’t usually talk to me, and he did. Besides, he’s really nice and I kind of like everything about him. His smile, his laugh, his voice, his whole personality.”
I looked over at Gee to see what he’d say and he had a genuine smile mixed in with a smirk plastered on his face.
“Someone has a crush on my brother,” he taunted lightly.
“Shh!” I warned. “He’ll hear you!”
“And is that a bad thing?”
“Yes!”
Gee’s eyebrows pulled together. “Why?”
"Because, I'm Skyler Emerson. I do not have relationships, get attached, and end up heart broken. The same cycle repeats and it's a waste of time. I do not fall in love- EVER," I said, raising my voice. The guys didn't hear me though. Again, I thought after I said the word ever. Maybe I could control my words but not my thoughts.

"What are you afraid of?" Gerard asked softly.

Man for a guy he sure can ask a lot of questions, I thought bitterly. He was asking the kind of questions that seemed to get to me the most, it felt like he already knew me inside and out so there was really no point in lying. I hated how well he can read me when he had only just met me.

"Love okay," I replied, my voice cracking.

The last thing I wanted to do was cry but right now that almost didn’t seem like an option.

"Why? What happened?" Gerard asked me sympathetically.
"I-I...I was a stupid kid back then, still am. But at least back then I had friends. I had a family, one that cared, I even cared. That all changed after 5th grade," I responded with the tears close to falling.

Shit! Don't cry. Not here. Not in front of Gerard Way!

"Go on," he coaxed.
"I-uh...someone made it better, someone made life worth living again, that someone gave me hope," I replied with a small smile.
"What was his name?" Gerard asked me in a knowing tone.
"Okay before I tell you...just letting you know right now...because of him I don't trust anyone, I don't even trust myself. Everyone in my life leaves at one point or another and he wasn't any different. Life, family, friends...it used to matter, but I don't think it does anymore. I've spent less than a day with you guys and I feel my happiness returning. I want to laugh, I want to smile, I-I actually want to talk and hang out with you guys. All I know is...if I give anyone a chance, I'm afraid they'll let me down...just like everyone else. I thought I'd change with him...but I was wrong," I explained.
"Well, we're not like most people; we're not like everyone else. I know you've only given me vague details but I can tell you’ve been through...hell it seems. But I just want you to know we'll always be here for you," Gerard said smiling.

Once I looked up at him, he gave me a hug.

I shuddered slightly and Gee pulled back momentarily.
“I noticed that earlier, too,” he commented as he gazed down at me. “When Frank put his arm around you earlier- before the dance. You shuddered then just like you did now. Why is that?”
I sighed long and hard. “Well, it’s a long story. I…don’t get much…physical contact. I had an um- a bad relationship and it was mostly physical. And it’s still kind of hard for me to think about it.”
Gee’s brows furrowed as he gazed intently at me.
“Skyler, this move- the one from Newark to Belleville- was it because of your ex?”

He was the catalyst. But in a split second I realized it was more my trashed reputation and me wanting to start my life over… but my ex was part of it. He was the cause of it all.

“I guess you could say that,” I answered Gee. “Only, I wasn’t really moving away from my ex. More like toward him.” I hadn't meant for that to happen. We dated when we attended different schools but when rumors go around everywhere he intended for them to...there was no way I could stay at my old school. Deal with the stares and the pain and betrayal. And not just from him...

“So your ex goes to Belleville now?” Gee asked, bringing me out of my little thought bubble.

“Sadly, yes,” I responded, “and he’s the biggest jerk there from what I’ve seen so far.”

For a brief moment I allowed myself to think about how we were back then to how we were now.
“Gosh! I never would have given him a chance if I’d had known he’d turn out this way- change so completely from the guy I fell in love with.”
Gee shifted on the couch a bit and folded his hands together, contemplating.
“And uh-who, may I ask, was your ex? Who was the one who added on to your pain?”

I really hoped Gee wouldn’t hate me for the name I was about to reveal…because it was the same guy Mikey detested.

“Derek Wickman,” I mumbled softly as I glanced over at Gee.

His face said it all; he was at a total loss of words.

“Please don’t tell anyone, Gee! I don’t care if they know I was in a bad relationship but I do mind if they find out who I was in a relationship with. I would just prefer to forget about it, about him and his existence.”

Gee cautiously placed his hand on mine and avoided the light shudder that rippled through my body.

“Skyler,” he spoke gently, “I won’t judge you. Neither will the guys. You’re a sweet girl and what happened in the past doesn’t really matter. You’re with us now, and Derek is a total douche bag. So with that said, I won’t tell the guys, not even my brother, if that’s what you want. I know they hate him too, Mikey possibly more than the others because of the way Derek bullied him and broke a few pairs of his glasses.”

Though I felt bad for Mikey having been picked on by Derek, I couldn’t help the smile that found its way to my face. Never in my life had I felt so accepted for just being me. Usually, that wasn’t enough for most people.

I soon found myself laughing and leaning my head on Gee’s shoulder.

“Thanks for being so cool, Gerard.”
“Anytime,” he responded as he once more slicked an arm around my shoulder- ignoring the small shudder- and gave me a comfortable side hug.

"So...do I need to hurt him for you because I will?" Gee asked while holding me.
I laughed again.

"No, you don't have to hurt him. I can take care of myself," I responded faintly.
"You sure?”
"Yeah.”
"So, you used to go there huh?" I questioned. “You used to attend Belleville?"
"Yep,” Gee stated with a wide smile, which in turn made me smile.

Gee’s arm was still around me and it was so comforting in a strange sort of way because it still felt foreign to me. Soon both his arms were around me in a tight hug and I didn’t fight it. I loved being in his arms. It’s been a while since I’ve been in anyone’s arms, it felt nice. Already I could see Gerard like my older brother and I already loved him like one.

“I really promise I won’t tell anyone,” Gee murmured into my ear.
“Good.” I smiled. “I trust you.”
"Unless you want me to," Gee added quickly.

I looked up at him and we were both smiling.

"Thank you Gerard Way." I squeezed him tighter.
"Hmm… When was the last time you had a hug? Besides today?" Gee asked curiously.
"Umm...middle school," I replied reluctantly.
"Whoa...and I thought I need lovin’," Gee remarked as he held me tighter. "Just tell me when to let go."
"Never," I said playfully.
He laughed. "Yes ma'am," he replied jokingly.

Just then, the rest of the guys walked back into the garage, and each of them seemed intrigues to find me and Gee in the positions we were in- squeezing the life out of each other.

"Whoa...what's going on in here?" Bob asked as soon as he saw me and Gee; he almost dropped his soda. All of the guys were now in the room with eyes popping out and mouths agape.
"N-nothing is going on," Gerard said, letting me go.
"Y-yeah n-nothing," I replied, also pulling away. I knew what the looks on their faces was insinuating.
"Didn't look like nothing," Ray commented.
"Okay, I'm going to make this very clear...I don't like Gee. I mean I like him just not in a boyfriend girlfriend way," I stated seriously.
"Whatever," Ray said taking a seat.
"I'm cool with it," Bob said also taking a seat.
"I'm not," Frankie muttered and left the room.
"Gosh I HATE drama," I exclaimed as I went after him. I had had enough of it back in middle school and at my old school.

It didn’t take me long to catch up to him. Déjà vu anyone?

“Frank, it was just a hug!” I exclaimed as I ran from behind him. “Gerard was being supportive.”
“Will it didn’t look like that to me,” he countered as he spun on his heels to face me.
“Well, it was,” I stated calmly. “And besides, you shouldn’t care all that much.” My eyes narrowed as my reply sunk in. “Why do you?” I asked curiously. I mean I had barely met the guy and already he was being protective of me, that or jealous, but neither one made sense to me.

“Who said I cared?” he shot back. “I don’t. It’s just that you’re a very sweet person and cool to hang out with and…you are kind of cute.”
I ignored the light rush of blood that ran to my cheeks and switched the topic.
“Frankie, honestly, I only see Gee as a friend. Not even that but like a brother- that’s the kind of vibe he gives off, okay?”
“So, you don’t like Gee?” Frank asked with a hopeful tone to his voice.
“Not in that way,” I retorted truthfully. “I mean, I like all of you…just differently. I think you’re all nice and sweet guys. Obviously awesome and fun to be around. I don’t even think I have to get into how gorgeous you all are. But, Frankie, I assure you, nothing will happen between me and Gee.”
Frank smiled and asked, “So you think we’re all gorgeous. Hmm, but do you like any one of us more than a friend?”

Since Frank had calmed down and seemed genuinely curious, I saw no reason not to tell him the truth.

“Well…yeah. I mean, umm, I may like someone more than a friend but I’m not really all too sure if he likes me and I don’t want to rush things. And it isn’t Gee or Ray or Bob though I do find them charming and sweet.”

The reason I didn’t say Mikey’s name is because he was the one I was interested in. Not only did he let me be a part of his world, but he made me feel welcome and good and like being myself was the greatest thing ever. And also because he opened up to me, was kind and friendly. He was himself from the start and also because there was something about him that drew me in, lighted some sort of fire or longing inside of me.

Then there was Frank. He was still gazing at me and he was cute, hot, and gorgeous all rolled into one. But, I didn’t feel anything close to what I felt being near Mikey. But as I stood there watching him intently, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I wasn’t interested in him either. Especially not now that we were already friends and he was being so sweet to me. And I also couldn’t bring him into the conversation because I was speaking directly to him, and it’d be weird.

It was a very slow and awkward conversation.

“Maybe we should go back in and rejoin the guys?” I suggested lightly.
Frank nodded and smiled and followed after me back into the garage.
“Sorry I freaked. We’re all good, Gee. I still love you, man,” Frank commented.
“Uh…” Gee paused and gazed over at me questioningly. “Glad to hear it?”

I could tell Gerard was confused my Frank’s response. I probably would’ve had the same reaction. Especially not having known the reason Frank stormed off in the first place.
I glanced outside and could no longer see any traces of sunlight.

“It’s getting late,” I stated, glancing at the neon wall clock hanging in the garage to confirm my assumption. I was correct. “I’d better start heading home.”

I don’t know where the time had gone but somehow it was already nine at night.

“Thank you all so much for having me over. It was a blast!”
“No problem, Skeye,” Mikey said sweetly. “Thanks for coming. You’re welcome anytime.”
He is so cute.

“Yeah, hang out with us more often,” Ray joined in. “You’re fun to have around.”
I nodded with a smile and headed to the door that led outside.
“No goodbye hugs?” Frank asked sadly.
I forced a smile. “Well…you guys don’t have to…”
Gerard gave me a sympathetic smile but Frank ignored my subtle plea and ran over to hug me. The intensity he used startled me so I jumped involuntarily, just as I had the last two times.
When Frank let me go I was shocked no one seemed to really notice anything except me and Gerard.

I then went around the room and hugged each of them, shuddering only slightly and trying to tell my body it was okay, that I was okay and it was a safe and calm environment.

But then I got to Mikey.

The instant I locked eyes with, him my body loosened entirely. I was contemplating whether or not to hug him tightly or gently when he made the decision for me and leaned in all the way to wrap his arms around me.

I smiled at the contact and felt so comfortable in his embrace. So comfortable I didn’t realize I hadn’t shuddered at all. The hug just felt so warm, so nice, so…right. I took in his scent as I wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled even more.

When he let me go I still didn’t realized that I hadn’t shuddered when Mikey touched me. I was too content to notice.

“Well, bye, guys. Thanks again. I’ll see you soon,” I retorted as I walked out the front door.
“Bye, Skyler!” the guys all chorused after me as I stepped into the cool but freezing night air.

Today had been one of the best days of my life. Aside from getting asked out by Derek back before he changed drastically from sweetheart to jerk. Back then I was happy. But maybe, just maybe, with these five, I could be happy once more.