Categories > TV > WWE

A Parting Gift

by BuddyG 0 reviews

Two things I learned tonight. One, this chick really was a nerd, and probably had been avoided by guys in high school because of her happiness. And two, she's a screamer. No, THE screamer. AJ/Punk.

Category: WWE - Rating: R - Genres: Humor,Romance - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2011-01-13 - Updated: 2011-01-14 - 2283 words - Complete

Indeed, this is very random. You clicked it, which means you can’t complain. Well, you can, but you’d only be ignored, or laughed at. One of the other. This is extremely exaggerated, with characters being magnified to a somewhat disturbing level. You’ve been warned.
This is a bad joke about AJ, so if you like her, and blindly defend her, you might not want to read this.

Oh, and I own nothing. But if I did, the ratings would be higher. Just saying.


I’d never really given this “nerdy” girl much thought, or attention. Apparently, she liked that.
“Dude, she’s so in to you. Take it while you can. Heard she’s still,” Cody paused for a moment, “fresh.”

I snorted.

“Fresh? What is she, a fuckin’ subway? Drop it. I’m comfortable alone.” I said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. One thing you should know, “dashing” Cody Rhodes should change that adjective to “annoying” or “pushy”, because once he sees something happening, no matter how unlikely it is, he finds some way to make it happen.

Hell, most of the guys on Smackdown were like that. And with all the different accents, from ‘Scottish’ to ‘Deep South’, I’d be happy to be on Raw again for a while, where things almost made sense. Made enough sense so I could peacefully manage work, a social life, and family comfortably.

“Oh c’mon, Phil! Don’t tell me you’re intimidated by the damn rookie divas.” He joked. He knew joking would annoy me, that damn smirk on his face told me so.

“No, I’m not, I just don’t want to bang them. You seem to interested, why don’t you break one in?”

He snorted this time.

“Wait,” I started, “You mean…”

“Yep. Kaitlyn. Not too bad, wasn’t exactly hard to get, but you know how it is. Or do you only go for the chicks with the buzzcuts like you?” He teased again. Alright, I had half a mind to throw a roundhouse.

“So I’m behind here, I see. Let me guess, you had a fun time with Drew watching, right?” I shot back. He looked over, knowing that was low. I knew it was low. Thing is, I really didn’t care.

“In fact, Drew had Naomi. Seeing that they travel with Smackdown, why not give them the best, and…what’s so damn funny?” He asked. I really tried to hold in the laughter, but it was just too funny. He told me that some preppy Scottish guy scored a “hood” Nicki Minaj wannabe, and expected me not to laugh? He was sadly mistaken.

“Listen to what you just said. Please, and tell me that isn’t the funniest thing you’ve heard in a while.”

And at that point, Drew was heading for the door, silent, and red as a tomato, which was pretty hard to do to the fake tan he had.

“Wow, guys must have skill to go red through an almost orange tan like that.” I joked, trying to change the subject.

“Don’t change the subject.” He said back, softly to keep from attracting attention.
Damn it Cody.

“C’mon,” He tried again, “Think of her as a going away gift. You’re heading over to Raw, and odds are no one will ever have to know, or find out.” He said. Funny thing in this company, one way or another, word spread. Quickly. I looked down at my phone. It was almost two hours after the actual show, I was tired, finished up the promos I had to, and really just wanted to sleep. We’d just have to change plans to sleep with her. I sighed.

“Fine. Where is she.”
I worked a little different. When I liked some diva, I’d tell her. When I wanted to smash, I’d tell her. When we were done, that was it. No random movie, or inviting me to a club. Just easy sex, and maybe a good book if I couldn’t sleep. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a horrible person.

“Speak of the devil.” He said, motioning with his eyebrows over to the door before heading out. He was getting the reputation of a pervert, and was currently tried to save himself. Wonder why. Wasn’t too hard to see that Cody was as much into women as his grooming, maybe a little more.

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered, he left me the fucking lip gloss on my bag. I’d have to remember to kick his ass for that later, should I see him before I head out for Monday night. I put on the best smile I could, which was really a content smirk, and gave her a small wave and called her over.

“Listen, I really, really like you, alright? Would you want to…hang out with me?”

Now, something you had to realize. AJ was…like a twelve year old. Anything too sexual, and she’d be creeped out, but too simple, and she tried to play the “I’m too cool for you” card. I saw right through it.

He gleamed with excitement. Too much for a grown woman, but I had to remember who this was.
“Of course! It’ll be soooo much fun! Dude!...I’ll be back, I’ll text you!” She basically yelled, before running off again, to get ready I’m guessing. Wait.

She had my number? Already? The fuck?

I shook my head, then scratched it, then looked around. Kinda forgot about some of the other guys in here, who already knew what I was planning.

“All of you know nothing. Got it?” I said in general, in my defense, of course. They all had their little giggles and chuckles, which only made me leave much like Drew did, quickly and red in the face. Horrible. I was already screwed. Least I wouldn’t be the only one tonight.

“Gah, stop thinking like that.” I muttered to myself. Couldn’t believe I was mentally preparing myself for…her, of all people. And don’t get me wrong, I do like the divas, but not as “fuck” buddies. More like “the random conversation on the tour bus, because I’ bored” buddies. I was glad I chose to drive my rental to the show, because the tour bus back to the hotel would have been pure torture. The ride back was horrible, and I rode in silence, choosing to really think this through I didn’t have to do anything with her, did I?

And it was right there, when I knew I had no choice.

She drove aside me with some other random blonde, and was waving frantically. Really? I resisted the urge to facepalm, and ram them off the road, and gave a small wave back. Then, I hit about 90, and that still felt too slow. I made the ten minute drive to the hotel a two minute one, and glad to escape with my life, considering I ran a red light to do so.

I tried to move as quickly as possible, knowing she didn’t know where my room was. If I could get away fast enough, I could have a few moments of peace, she would forget about me, and go…read a book or something. I snatch the card, I was in a hurry, and headed for the elevator.

Are you fucking serious. That had to be a good forty-two seconds I was away from here. Now, seeing that she wasn’t going away, I would play dumb. I jammed the elevator button and sighed a little, happy she wasn’t…

“Shit! AJ, the hell?” I said a little too harsh for comfort, she scared the hell out of me. She was RIGHT there beside me, smiling, and still waving. Her face dropped, and was she…she was tearing up?

“Oh…I didn’t mean too…” She sniffled. And now she sounded like a whiny seven year old. I didn’t do good with children.

“It’s…alright, just…warn me before you pop up like that.” I said, trying to be nice. Trying.
She nodded, and then started sharing ideas she had.

“I was thinking, you know…maybe we could watch some movies I had. I always keep the old superman DVD in my backpack…” She started, but I zoned out. Backpack? DAMN. She had a fucking hiking backpack, and it was probably filled with every teenage kid’s dream. Video games and all that shit. I came back to the conversation.

“…And I have the last Pokémon movie too! It was soooo good, but I like Misty more than Dawn though, she’s sort of tougher than the new girls, you know? And I just bought a game-boy, so I could play the old Pokémon games too, because…”

Okay, two things here. One, she was trying to talk in a sophisticated manner, which isn’t possible when you’re talking about Pokémon. Making herself look mature, for me. Two, she talk way too much. The elevator doors opened, and I walked out, letting her continue her little rant about how Ash is so much better than Brock, but Brock was a gym leader. Never again will I lay eyes on something Pokémon related.

“AJ, look. I called you here, to have sex, alright? If you don’t want that, go.” I said, being extremely blunt. I couldn’t take it! She wouldn’t shut up, and she was scoffing in all the wrong places, as well as walking like Alicia Fox. I don’t like Alicia Fox. She looked up at me.

“Re…Really!?” She was ecstatic now. Fuck, I was depending on that to chase her away.

“Yes, c’mon.” I said, shoving the door open. In about fourteen seconds, she was already stripping herself down next to the bed.

“Wait,” I started, “I do that part.” I said, which was true. I usually start, and finish, the process. She nodded, and clapped happily. Clapping? Really? Maybe she forgot the part that we had to be turned on for this. I was thinking about another steamy moment to help with that, but she was really being a mood kill. I found my zone, dropped them, and just walked over.

This was the funny thing, she was a novice. No experience. Hell, I could be off my game, and be full on horrible tonight, and she’d think it was great.

“Oh, hold on, I gotta text someone…” This bitch was not texting someone about her having sex. I crawled into the bed next to her. Shit, yes she was. NO ONE would need to know, not in the process.

And that’s when I ripped off her Spiderman boy boxers, and rammed into her. Mind you, a rapist would probably do something like this. She was silent, out of pleasure, her mouth forming a large ‘O’ and her arms were wobbling. If this were a porno, I’d be laughing my ass off.

I grabbed a condom, and that’s right, pulled out for a second, just to let her feel the effects, and restarted. She grunted that time, and screamed.

Fuck. I hated screamers.

“OH…shit! Dude! It feels so…”

“I know it feels good, shut the fuck up.” I growled in her ear, and started finding a comfortable motion. Too fast, and I’d fuck her up, this bitch had to weigh what? Twenty-two pounds? Too slow, and I’d lose interest, and just roll over. She showed some type of learning, and wrapped her legs around my waist, which gave a little brace to depend on.

The fucking screaming started again.

And it wasn’t even like grunts, or moans. These were like my entrance music. Pure screams. Put it this way, if she wanted to, she could easily get a band, and take a set on the road.

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runa-

Fucking Katy Perry was blaring through the room, and she paused.

“I…REALLY ne…need to get that!...” She said, though shouts and moans. I grabbed the phone and threw it across the room, hearing an oh so satisfying smashing noise. The song stopped, and she didn’t argue. It was peaceful for a moment, and then the screaming started again. I hated to, trust me I did, but I took and arm from her back, and slowly moved my tongue into her mouth, to stop the words. It was as bad as it sounded, but it got the job done.

I could tell this felt like an eternity for her, but all in all, it was about eight minutes. I cut her short, saving my “straight edge power” for some deserving fan. Maybe a ring rat, if she was wearing X’s on her hands. What? I told you I was a horrible person.

When it was all said and done, she was quiet for probably the first time in weeks. I smiled at the silence, not her, but she took that the wrong way, I could tell.

“Does this mean we’re…”

“No, no…I mean…”
I couldn’t say no to her. She would fall to pieces, and then...get all emo or something.

“We’ll keep in touch?”

“YUS!” She cheered, still out of breath. And now that I was ready for fruit and chill for the night, she started, you guessed it, talking again. Great.

Sign up to rate and review this story