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Heroes and Underdogs

I woke up the next morning before the kids. I hadn’t changed, I hadn’t brushed my teeth, I hadn’t even gotten under the covers. I made sure Krissy was awake and then I wandered to the showers. With my teeth brushed, yesterday’s tearstained makeup scrubbed off my face, washed hair, and fresh clothes, I felt a little better.

By the time I returned to the bus, the kids, Evan, and Patrick were up. I took over making breakfast so Krissy could go take a shower. Evan went with her. That left me and Patrick alone with the children.

“Do you want some coffee?” I asked.

He didn’t respond. I tried to let it go. Patrick fed Collin his bottle while I cut up Alison’s waffles.

Then I sat in a chair and started to braid my still damp hair. My hair is pretty long so it takes a while to braid and I kinda get all spacey when I do it. I don’t know how much time had passed, but Alison’s voice soon cut through my reverie.

“Lauren, your hair is so pretty.”

I looked up at her and smiled. “Thank you sweetie.” I also noticed that when I looked up, Patrick quickly turned his head and he blushed almost as if I had caught him staring.

“Can you braid my hair again today?” Alison asked.

“Of course, go get the stuff.” She scampered off.

Patrick put the baby down and then addressed me for the first time since yesterday evening.
“I need to take a shower. Are you ok to watch the kids by yourself? Or should I wait for Krissy to get back?”

Ouch. There was something vehement in the way he said it. It hurt. It also made me angry. I could feel my eyes fill, but I kept myself from crying. “I got it.” I said shortly. “You can
go.”

Alison walked into the room. “Lauren I’ve got the stuff!” She looked at me for approval and I smiled at her. “Why are your eyes sad?”

“It’s nothing, sweetheart.” I said pulling it together. “Come sit and I’ll fix your hair.”

Alison’s hair was done. She and Collin were playing on the floor. I was eating a poptart at the table reading and becoming increasingly absorbed in the plot of Dora the Explorer.
“Morning, Lo.” Pete mumbled dropping into a seat across from me.

“It’s Lo now?” I asked. I got up to get him a cup of coffee.

“Lolo’s too long,” he whined putting his head down. I put the coffee in front of him. He raised his head and gave me that grin. “You’re the best.”

I sat back down. “I’m glad someone thinks so, Peter Pan.”

“Uh oh. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. Patrick’s just mad at me, I guess.”

“What for?” Pete asked.

“For yesterday. For losing A-L-I-S-O-N.” I spelled her name so she wouldn’t know I was talking about her.

“What? Why? It’s not like it was your fault.” He replied indignantly.

“It kinda was.” I said glumly. “I should have made sure Andy and Joe knew they were watching her. I should have taken her with me.”

“Lo, that’s ridiculous. There were plenty of people around. Kids wander off sometimes. That’s what they do.”

“It’s my job to watch them. If I can’t-“

“You are way more than an employee, Lo.” Pete took my hand across the table, “I hope you know
that.”

I nodded. “He’s mad at me. It sucks.”

“I know. He’ll get over it. And if he doesn’t, I’ll beat him up.”

I laughed. “Thanks Pete.”

“No problem.”

Collin started to cry. I went to pick him up. He obviously needed to be changed. I sat on the floor with him to do so. After using a baby wipe to wash my hands I sat on the floor and played with the kids. People came and went from the bus. We built with Duplo blocks, colored, went outside and jumped rope, and helped Collin practice crawling (he was getting really close). Around noon Ariel came by and delivered lunch courtesy of Al. We ate and the kids took a nap.
I was again sitting at the table reading. Pete and Joe were playing video games. Evan came on the bus.

“Ok guys, sound check time, let’s go!”

Pete and Joe were finishing their game and Andy and Patrick came out from the back of the bus.

“Where’s Krissy?” Patrick asked Evan.

“The store, she said something about being out of waffles.”

“Is Lauren going to be ok with kids by herself?”

Awesome. He’s talking about me like I’m not even in the room, I thought. I tried to keep the anger out of my voice when I answered “I’ll be fine thanks.”

He didn’t even acknowledge me. He just walked off the bus. The rest of the boys looked awkward except Pete. He walked over to me.

“Say the word and I’ll kick his ass, Lo,” he kissed the top of my head.

I gave him a shaky smile. “It’s fine. I’m fine,” I told them. “Go on, you’re gonna be late.”

They left kind of reluctantly. I had to literally shoo them out. Then I went into the bedroom with the kids. I read and napped a little bit. When Krissy came home I helped her put the groceries away. The boys had some meet and greet so they didn’t get back until after dinner. Alison and Krissy were finger painting at the table while I played peek-a-boo with Collin as the guys got ready in their usual whirlwind. Then it was time for them to go.

“No , I’m not gonna stay,” came Krissy’s voice. “It’s Lauren’s turn. And she’s completely
capable of watching the kids!” she was talking to Patrick.

He had apparently been whispering to her Pete was sitting on a counter next to him. He smacked Patrick on the back of the head. “Not cool, man.”

Just then Evan walked on the bus, rounded the boys up and they left. Krissy hung back a bit to
finish her picture.

Before she left she took me aside. “How ya doin Laur?”

“I’m alright, a little upset, but I’m sure it’ll all work out.” I told her. “Go, or you’ll miss
the show.”

She hugged me and left. I turned to the kids. “Who wants a bath?”

I bathed both the kids in the sink and I dressed them for bed. I put in Sesame Street for Alison and then I rocked Collin to sleep.

After putting him to bed, I came out and saw Alison sitting at the table. She was stacking up all the pictures she had colored that day. “Whatchya doin, kid?”

“I colored these for Uncle Patrick.” She said, carefully stacking them. “I want to surprise him.”

“I know how we can do that.” I said smiling. This kid was so sweet. I grabbed some tape and led Alison away.

We went to Patrick’s bunk. “We can hang them up here and when he comes back to go to sleep later he’ll see them and be surprised.”

“Ok!” Alison was enthusiastic about the idea. She flung the curtain open.

Patrick’s bunk was neater than the others’. His bed was made. He had a couple of books stacked neatly on the shelf with an iPod and headphones. He already had a few pictures hanging. There was the one of him and Alison asleep on my couch that first night. One of him and both the kids that I took at the park. Another of Alison tracing Pete’s outline on the pavement. There was another of the backs of Krissy and I swinging Alison on a walk. There was one with Joe feeding the baby. The last one made me catch my breath.

It was me.

It was taken the day we were drawing with sidewalk chalk. I was sitting on the ground in my
denim cutoffs and flip flops. My arms were wrapped around my knees and I wasn’t looking at the camera. I was laughing at something off camera, my red hair loose in the wind. I was (and I don’t mean to toot my own horn) beautiful.

That one picture gave me a little bit of hope.

I noticed all this in a couple of seconds. Then I lifted Alison onto the bed and doled out pieces of tape so she could hang her pictures.

Once our project was complete, Alison picked out a story and I read to her. She was asleep before we were halfway through.

I stayed up for a while, finishing a movie. Then I changed and went to the bedroom so I’d be there if they woke up. I read for a bit then fell asleep thinking about that picture that was still on Patrick’s wall.