FicWad

“That sounds ominous,” Joe frowned at Patrick’s words.
“Look,” Patrick sighed as he tried desperately to think of a way to phrase what had happened so that Joe and Andy felt pity rather than fear towards Pete. “There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just get straight to the point. Since Pete drank my blood, he hasn’t been able to keep down the blend I created for him.”

Saying nothing, Andy and Joe fixed Patrick with expectant eyes, forcing him to explain further. Nothing about their expressions gave away what they might be thinking and Patrick was finding it unnerving, to say the least.

“In fact,” he paused, wanting desperately to read their thoughts, but forcing himself not to, “he can’t take animal blood at all any more.”

The reaction was obvious as his friends recoiled in shock. The admission, put together with the contents of the box, meant only one thing - Pete was stuck on human blood now. One question remained.

“Has he killed?” Andy asked quietly.
“He tried draining vampires,” Patrick skirted around the truth. “He thought that second-hand human blood might be sufficient.”
“And was it?”
“Andy, it’s not that simple, he...”
“Trick, it’s yes or no, it really is that simple,” Andy pressed. “Has he killed?”
“Yes,” Patrick whispered; his attempt to explain without scaring them had failed.

Andy and Joe remained silent, simply staring, uncertain how to react to the information. Patrick took the opportunity to speak first and try to redeem the situation.

“He’s frightened, Andy,” he continued. “And, yes, he’s killed but I spoke to him about it. It wasn’t just a random, unthinking action; he killed a man who was attacking a woman. The guy was a rapist, possibly a murderer. You see?”
“Oh don’t pull this guilt trip on us!” Joe complained. “He killed a man! I don’t condone what the guy was doing, but it doesn’t take away the fact that Pete killed him!”

Perhaps it was his own relatively new vampire point of view, but Patrick was finding it increasingly difficult to understand why Joe and Andy couldn’t see that Pete was fighting what was happening to him and desperately needed their help. Yes he had killed, but he had to eat – why couldn’t they see that? Was it unreasonable? Patrick was growing increasingly uncertain of his own opinions and motives. But he had no other course of action, he had to defend Pete, protect him.

“Joe, Pete’s scared! The last thing he wants is to kill anyone, but he’s addicted, he can’t help it.” Patrick frowned; was his point of view now so far removed from theirs? Had he changed so subtly that he couldn’t see it himself? “Don’t you see that?” he added, possibly giving away his own doubts and fears.
“He’s not safe anymore,” Andy almost posed it half way between a statement and a question.
“He is!” Patrick insisted. “Don’t you understand? He came to me, he needs help... He wants help! I’m going to try to get him off it, but in the meantime, he has to eat something and he doesn’t want to kill anyone to do it. That’s why I ordered the blood,” he finally sighed.
“You can get him off it?” Andy asked quietly.
Patrick looked down and sighed heavily. “I don’t know,” he admitted, “I really don’t know, but I’m not going to give up on him!”
“That was below the belt,” Joe grumbled.
Patrick exhaled noisily. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I wasn’t saying that you were giving up on him, just that I wasn’t going to just assume that I couldn’t get him off human blood just because Spencer says I can’t.”
“Spencer knows?” Joe raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah,” Patrick frowned. The conversation was spiralling away from him. “I told you he was hounding him.”
“So.” Somehow, Andy’s voice sounded calm, determined and focussed, now bringing the emotive conversation to a grinding halt. “It’s like a drug addiction, but if he doesn’t get it he’ll die?”
“Yeah,” Patrick nodded, glad to have some apparent order and composure once more.
“Okay,” Andy nodded to himself. “And even though he killed a guy, he deliberately found a guy who didn’t deserve to live anyway?”
“Yeah,” Patrick nodded again.
“That’s not our call, Andy and you…” Joe cut in, only to be interrupted.
“Let me run with this, Joe. I want to try to see it from a vampire perspective,” Andy explained.
“There’s a different perspective?” Patrick’s eyes widened.
Andy nodded slowly. “I didn’t see it before, not when it was just Pete, but yeah, you have very distinct views and priorities.”
“Like staying alive?” Patrick grumbled.
Andy smiled faintly and took a deep breath. “No, that’s no different in itself, but there are fewer grey areas for a vampire, aren’t there?”
“I like to think we’re not typical vampires,” Patrick replied indignantly.
“No, you’re not, and that’s what makes it harder for us. You’re not evil by any stretch of the imagination, but you do approach problems in a much more direct way, which can be a shock to us, because we’re just not expecting it.”
“What do you mean?” Patrick frowned, not seeing Andy’s point.
“Pete had to eat, so he had to kill and you accept that without question.”
“No I don’t!” Patrick protested.
“Yes you do,” Andy insisted. “You’re shocked and upset that he’s in the position he’s in, but you accept that he had to do it.”

Patrick’s frown turned almost to a guilty expression as he realised that Andy was right and that neither he nor Joe had the luxury of that acceptance. They understood in theory, of course, but the idea, no matter how apparently justified was still abhorrent to them.

“And that’s the difference,” Andy added following Patrick’s silence. “But, your point is that he still has the control to choose what to do about it and to try to find help.”
“Yes,” Patrick nodded, still surprised to have his newly and unexpectedly different mindset pointed out to him.
“So, he can eat this blood and he’ll be okay?” Andy checked Patrick’s reasoning.
“That’s the idea,” Patrick nodded, relieved that Andy was making so much effort to understand.
“You think he’s safe?” Andy asked. “Or, more to the point, we’re safe?”
“Definitely,” Patrick nodded. “No doubt in my mind.”
“All right,” Andy nodded slowly. “I trust you, both of you.”
“Andy?” Joe asked, his tone one of great surprise.
“Joe… I’ve been wrong about a lot lately; my instincts are shot to pieces. Right now I need to fall back on what I knew to be true... once. Patrick, if you say Pete’s trustworthy, then I’m happy to accept that.”
“Thank you,” Patrick almost stammered, barely believing what he had heard. “Joe?”

Joe felt awkward. Andy had just announced his faith in both Patrick and Pete and now all eyes were on him for a similar commitment. He couldn’t do it, not so directly. Patrick had always told him to act from the head not the heart. It had always been a difficult concept for him and right now, his heart was broken. More than ever, and possibly just like Andy, Joe was confused and finding it hard to trust his own instincts. Perhaps somewhat out of character for him, Andy found that he had needed to take a leap of faith, but, by contrast, Joe now needed safety and reassurance.

“No… I’m not saying I don’t trust anyone,” Joe replied carefully, “but, I’m gonna play it by ear.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded thoughtfully. “That’s better than I expected.”
“I guess we should let him out then?” Andy suggested.

Joe nodded his approval, but Patrick couldn’t help but notice that, as he did, Joe’s fingers tightened slightly on the taser. Joe’s normally trusting nature was, with the rest of him, in turmoil and this new development was proving too difficult to accept. But he had agreed to try and that was more than Patrick and Pete had reasonably expected, even from their closest friends.

“Okay,” Andy gave a sigh as he stood up and plucked the key from his pocket. “I…”
“I’ll do it,” Patrick cut in. “If you don’t mind? I need to talk to him. This is a real shock to him too and, well, you know what he’s like. I don’t want him antagonising you just because he’s confused or scared.”
“I heard that!” Pete yelled irritably from the next room.
“Good!” Patrick yelled back. “It’ll be one thing less to tell you later!”

The corners of Andy’s mouth rose at Patrick’s reply. They had all been through a lot, and were still suffering greatly, both as individuals and as a group. But he could see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel now, and hopefully, it wasn’t an oncoming train.

Joe was less convinced that they were making the right decisions. Despite Patrick’s assurances, he wasn’t even fully convinced that he could trust Pete with his newfound addiction. Something he was even less inclined to admit was that he was sinking into a depression. His mistrust may even have been greater if he were able to work his way past the apathy he currently felt. The loss of Andrea, despite their brief relationship, had left him shattered and even believing that if Pete were to kill him, he’d barely make the effort to stop him. Right now, he felt lost, hopeless and desperately in need something to lift him and help him get back on track. Silently, he hoped he would find it sooner rather than later.