Categories > Anime/Manga > Bleach


by dreamwhisperer 1 review

"When are you getting married?" In which Byakuya chokes on tea, and Kaien babbles like a lovestruck idiot. Slight Kaien/Miyako. Companion to Fragments and 'The Priss and the Idiot'.

Category: Bleach - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Characters: Kuchiki Byakuya, Other - Published: 2006-05-18 - Updated: 2006-05-18 - 819 words - Complete


"You know... I met this really interesting girl today."

Byakuya lifted an eyebrow, sake dish half-raised to his lips as he waited for Kaien's next move. A shogi board was set between them, black pieces conspicuously more than white.


"Mmhmm. Her name's Miyako. Namikawa Miyako. And, Byakuya, Miyako-san has to be the prettiest girl I have ever seen." Kaien paused, gulping down his sake, lifting a white piece and twirling it around his finger. He smiled, dreamy and slightly love-struck.

"You said that of Takada last month." Byakuya pointed out, sipping placidly at his own sake, a sardonic smile hidden behind his hand.

"Miyako-san far exceeds Akane-san in terms of beauty. And she's so /graceful/, do you know that? Watching every move she makes is like watching a beautiful butterfly fluttering between flowers! And her zanpaktou is also a thing of beauty, and it fits her so well too. I mean, she's so beautiful that it'll probably make the water envious, so it's really a good thing that she's able to control it, right? And..."

Byakuya tuned his friend out, focusing on sipping his sake and not getting drunk. He kept half an ear to Kaien's ramblings, and nodding at appropriate times. Every month, or sometimes even every fortnight, Kaien would fall in love with a new girl and rave about her virtues to Byakuya. The Kuchiki noble never knew just why he was chosen for this. He had never shown any interest in any of the women Kaien talked about. It must be, he decided, a Shiba Kaien thing.

A soft 'click' of ivory on wood brought Byakuya's attention back to the shogi board, and he smirked mentally (though still keeping that infamous poker face) when he saw Kaien had fallen into his trap. One of his black pieces was missing, however, and his friend was tossing it in his hand with a too-smug smile on his lips.

Byakuya cocked his head to the side, and waited.

"One of the hair thingies you wear."

"It's called a /kenseiken/, Kaien, like I have told you many, many times." He pulled off one of the jade pieces, laying it carefully on the floor besides Kaien's headband, armlet, belts (two), Academy top, shoes, and Neijibana and Senbonzakura.

"I know that. You tell me the name too many times for me to forget. Hair thingies just sound much better. Less prissy." Kaien shrugged, waving a hand towards the general direction of the wooden board.

"Your turn."

Byakuya nodded; hand on his chin as he contemplated his next move.

"I'm going to marry her some day, you know."

A second eyebrow joined the first, and Byakuya stared semi-incredulously at Kaien (he's too used to his ridiculous statements to be fully incredulous). He shook his head, half-amused, half-frustrated.

"You do realize that you have just met her?"

Kaien poured another dish of sake, bringing it to his lips and knocking it back swiftly. Wiping a hand across his lips, he shrugged slightly and smirked.

"I know, but I'm going to marry her someday. Mark my words."

Byakuya nodded evasively, pouring a dish of sake for himself as he made his move. Picking up three of Kaien's white pieces, he smiled triumphantly and gestured at Kaien's white undershirt.

His friend sighed, the sigh rather muffled as he shrugged out of the clothing and throwing it into the pile of spoils. Staring mournfully at the board (it'll be really nice to win /once/), he sighed and picked up another white piece, trying to find his way out of the trap.

Byakuya sipped his sake, waiting (it's nice to win all the time...).

Kaien, placing the white piece down, suddenly asked.

"So, Byakuya, when are you getting a girlfriend anyway?"

Byakuya choked.



"Seriously, though, if you don't get married or, at least, get an interest in a girl soon, I'm going to think that you're gay. Hey! Maybe that's why every time we play shogi I end up naked. You have a crush on me, don't you?!"


"You don't have to hide it, you know? I'm a very open-minded person. Maybe I can ask Miyako-san if the two of you can share me or something... Wouldn't that be a nice idea?"

"... Kaien?"


"I'm going to kill you. /Now/."

Outside, at the room beside where Kaien and Byakuya were...

Kisuke smiled indulgently as he heard an expensive vase crash onto the floor (it's probably another Urahara family heirloom or something. There's a lot of those.), pausing in his shuffling. Yoruichi and Kuukaku stared towards the next room before the former kicked him slightly. He shook his head and continued shuffling the cards, smile turning into a half-smirk as he looked pointedly at the two women.

They sighed in unison, making sure that it was loud enough to carry over to the next room.

"Ah! Young love!"


End, for real this time.
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